June 1st, 1999
The years had softened Joseph Jackson.
“Twin where you go?”
Noelle was sitting on the couch quietly watching the game with him, but Nicole had run off somewhere in the house.
“Come on little girl.” He called again.
Nicole giggled but remained out of sight. Joe scanned the room, trying to figure out where his granddaughter had run off to.
He turned to Noelle. “Where yo sister go?”
Noelle threw up both of her hands and shrugged. “I no know paw paw.”
He chuckled, shaking his head. “I'll give you some candy if you go find her.”
Noelle’s eyes widened and she slid off the couch, running in the direction Nicole disappeared in.
“Mini! Where go?” Noelle called.
Nicole shushed her sister then whispered, loudly. “I hiding from paw paw.”
“Why hiding?” Noelle asked.
“Cuz.” Nicole giggled.
Joe chuckled. “If you don't come on you ain't gonna get no candy.”
“Daddy say no candy.” Nicole said.
I guess he be giving em that healthy shit.
“Ya daddy ain't here. I said you can have some if you come here.”
Nicole poked her head out from the side of the couch and stuck her tongue out at Joe.
“Come here, Twin.”
“Uh-uh.” She shook her head, going back behind the couch.
“Quit playing, now. I whoop little girls that don't listen.” Joe joked, he'd never actually whoop any of his grandchildren unless it was absolutely necessary.
Noelle came from behind the couch this time, pulling Nicole behind her. Nicole flashed a cheeky smile at Joe and sat on the floor by the couch.
“You just like yo daddy. Always into something.”
Noelle climbed into Joe's lap and reached for his cup. “Juice.”
“This is pop.” He corrected. He held the cup up to Noelle's lips, and let her finish off the Pepsi in his glass.
Swoosh.
“Katie! I'm home!” Mariah called out.
Katie?
“Mommy!” Noelle shouted.
Mariah came waddling into the living room. “Hey baby, where's- what the hell?”
Joe nodded at Mariah. “Well hello to you too.”
“Where's Katherine?” She asked, glancing around the room.
“How would I know?”
Mariah immediately became defensive. “Wait so you guys are here by yourselves?”
Joseph nodded again.
Mariah pulled back, flabbergasted.
“What the hell!”
June 1st, 1999
Mariah sat there on the phone for what seemed like forever waiting for her mother-in-law to pick up.
To no avail.
“Jesus, Katherine!” Mariah shouted out of frustration. Coming home to find her daughters in the care of Joseph was the last thing she expected.
Ring.
Ri-
“Hello!”
“Hey baby, you just call?” Alfred answered.
“Daddy?” Mariah asked, befuddled.
“Yeah, did you just call Kate?”
Mariah furrowed her eyebrows, half surprised, half upset.
“Yes, where is she?”
“We just got out of the shower, so she’s putting clothes on.” Alfred explained.
“Daddy, no! That’s so messed up. Just- Put Katherine on the phone.” She responded.
“Well, she can’t talk right now. Just tell me what you need and I’ll let her know.”
Mariah unclenched her jaw. “Tell her the next time she wanna leave my babies in the care of an abuser, she can make her bed on somebody’s sidewalk because she damn sure don’t get the privilege of living in my house anymore-”
“Woah, woah, woah, calm down! What happened?”
“The old hag left my babies with Joe!” Mariah shouted.
“Joe?” Alfred asked, confused.
“Yes, Joe! I leave the kids with her, and I come home, she gone, and my babies are in the incapable care of Joseph Ironfist Jackson!”
She could’ve sworn she heard Alfred gasp.
Mariah raised an eyebrow. “I’m guessing she didn’t tell you she was still talking to her husband either, huh? Why the hell would she even trust him with anything? Especially after he beat all her kids and her!”
“No! No! That’s not it. I mean I came over there after a few hours and we spent time with the kids. But then her daughter came over and said she’d watch them for us. Joe wasn’t even there.”
“What do you mean? I walked into my house and Joe was right there with my kids!” Mariah shouted.
“Mariah! I hear you! But what I’m tellin’ you is that we left the girls with her daughter! The one that’s really light.” He explained.
Latoya?
“Daddy, the fact that she left my kids with Toya is already an issue in itself. Toya is good with kids but not in a parent kind of way, in an ‘I’m also a child’ kind of way.”
“Okay but ain’t that kind of how your husband is?” Alfred questioned.
Mariah grimaced. “You tryna say my husband ain’t a good father? Because my husband is a damn good daddy! I-”
“Oh god, Mariah! Stop it! I’m not saying that! I’m saying that she’s not that bad. She seemed great when we left. I don’t know how Joe got in the picture.”
“Because Toya’s incompetent, daddy! She can’t handle no damn kids so she called reinforcements: her abusive ass daddy! I can’t believe I even trusted Katherine to do as I asked-”
“Mariah!” Alfred interrupted. “I get that you’re angry but you need to respect your elders!”
“Fuck my elders, daddy! This is unacceptable! That man could’ve hurt my babies! Do you know what he did to Michael? Huh? Did she tell ya? I bet she didn’t because she’s just using you to get back at Joseph anyway! She doesn’t even love you daddy-”
“Mariah! You’re pissing me off, now, ya hear? Shut your damn mouth, girl!” Alfred demanded.
Mariah huffed. “Whatever! Just tell her she’s officially lost my trust! Oh, and she can stay her ass wherever she is with you because she can not come back to my house!”
“You mean Michael’s-”
Slam.
June 2nd, 1999
Mariah was sitting on the floor with the twins going over alphabet and number flashcards. Mariah had moved the twins onto the lowercase letters after finishing the other set of cards. She wanted them to be a little ahead, hoping her daughters would do better in school than what she did.
Noelle was squinting at the cards in deep thought. “B!”
“No, try again Noni.” Mariah said.
Nicole laughed. “Again Noni.”
Noelle glared at her older sister then looked at the letter again. “F?”
“Close, but no. Try it again.”
“E!” Nicole exclaimed, laughing at Noelle.
Mariah sighed. “It's not your turn, Nick.”
“My turn.” Noelle said defiantly.
Nicole shrugged. “It’s E!"
“F!” Noelle shot back.
“Nu-uh.” Nicole stuck her tongue out.
Mariah pulled the two apart before it could escalate any further. “Nick, that's not nice. You're gonna be a big sister again so you gotta be nice.”
Noelle tilted her head to the side. “Sister?”
“Yes, I'm having another baby. Which means you two are gonna be big sisters.” Mariah explained.
“Baby?” Noelle said, a bit confused.
“Yes. Baby.” Mariah responded. “You two have to start being good so that mommy doesn't have to do much. Having a baby is exhausting, I don't need more stress.”
Nicole and Noelle were only slightly paying attention, too busy staring at Mariah’s stomach.
“Baby?” Noelle asked again.
Mariah pursed her lips.
Nicole placed her hand on Mariah’s stomach. “Das baby?”
“Yes.” Mariah replied.
Nicole stuck her tongue out, licking her chin. “Nuh uh.”
“Yes huh.”
“No!” Nicole shouted, with a slight giggle.
“Yes!” Mariah shouted back.
Nicole smacked Mariah’s stomach. “No baby!”
“Hey!” Mariah started. “Be nice. That hurts mommy.”
Noelle chuckled and smacked Mariah too.
“Noni!”
“Mommy!” Noelle said, chuckling as she repeatedly hit her mom’s stomach.
“You want me to call your daddy?” Mariah said, sternly.
Noelle grinned. “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Da-”
“Ugh. I shouldn't have said that. Listen, you're gonna get in trouble if you don't stop.”
Out of seemingly nowhere, Nicole bit Mariah.
“Ow! Shit!” Mariah kissed her finger before popping Nicole’s hand. “Don't do that Nicole!”
Nicole tilted her head down, pouting.
“You better not start whining, either!”
Nicole slowly opened her mouth, tears welling up in her eyes.
“Nick, don't you do it!” Mariah exclaimed.
Nicole let out a loud cry.
Aw hell.
“If you don't shut up all that hollerin, I’m gonna put you in time out!”
Nicole cried louder at her mom’s threat.
Mariah grabbed Nicole’s arm. “Stop it! Stop it, Nicole!”
Noelle just stared at her mother and sister, worriedly. She didn't wanna be next.
Mariah took a deep breath. Watching her baby squirm in her hand tugged at her heartstrings. Or maybe it was just the pregnancy hormones. Either way, she really started to feel bad for being so aggressive.
Mariah glanced over to Noelle. “Noni, go get your sister a tissue.”
Noelle quickly scurried away.
Mariah pulled Nicole closer to her. “Look, I'm sorry Nick. But you can't be biting people.”
Nicole sniffled as her sister made it back with the tissue.
“Mommy.” Noelle said, nearly whispering. She handed Mariah the tissue then quickly placed her hand atop her sister’s.
Mariah wiped Nicole’s face. “I'm sorry baby.”
Nicole seemed distrustful of her mother’s apologies, slightly pulling away.
Noelle stroked Nicole’s hair. “S’okay. Here: wann hug?” Noelle grabbed her sister’s shoulders, shifting her own body in front of Nicole. “Huh? Wann hug? Here.” Noelle pulled Nicole in for a hug who hugged back with sad eyes.
Awwww.
Mariah smiled. “Noni, that's really nice.”
Noelle let go of her sister and looked up at her mother. “All better, mommy.”
“All better?” Mariah asked.
Noelle nodded. Nicole didn't even look at her.
I guess not.
Mariah sighed. “You guys just have to work with me, okay? I'm just- I'm honestly so tired lately. And I'm scared-” Mariah stopped, realizing the storm she was about to create.
Shit.
Nicole lifted her head--Noelle raising her eyebrows curiously.
“Scared? Mommy scared.” Noelle said.
Shit. Shit. Shit. Fuck!
“No! Don't repeat that!”
“Ah scared?” Nicole spoke up, sounding as if she hadn't cleared her throat in a while.
“Nick-”
Noelle rubbed Mariah’s knee. “I get daddy?”
I wish.
“I'm okay, baby.” Mariah reassured.
“It's baby? Baby scary?” Noelle asked.
Mariah held her breath. She was damn embarrassed.
“Huh, mommy?” Noelle asked.
“Top Noni!” Nicole shouted. “Mommy scared.”
“No, I not scary.” Noelle replied.
“Yeah huh!”
Noelle turned to Mariah. “Mommy, I scary?”
“No I-”
Noelle swiftly turned back around to her sister. “It's baby! Dat baby scared me!”
Nicole made an angry face and smacked Mariah’s stomach almost on impulse.
Mariah took a deep breath. It did kind of hurt when Nicole hit her stomach, but Mariah was too almost crippled by embarrassment to really react. Part of her wanted to tell Nicole to stop but part of her was living vicariously through her daughter, taking her anger out on something that caused her so much stress.
Still, she knew she was too far along for anything to ‘mysteriously’ happen.
“Stop it, Nicki.” Mariah said, almost nonchalantly.
Or don't.
Nicole pulled away, not wanting to risk Mariah’s wrath again.
Mariah bit the inside of her cheek, staring out into space.
“Just stop.”
June 2nd, 1999
Janet decided to visit Mariah to see how she was doing now that she was back at home. When she arrived, the two women discussed her father watching the twins and it was a little awkward, to say the least, so Mariah changed the subject.
“So, I did something kinda creepy.” Mariah started.
Kinda creepy? Janet thought. How you do something ‘kinda’ creepy?
Janet nodded her head. “Okay so what yo dumbass do this time?”
Mariah playfully rolled her eyes. “You and that damn brother of yours gon get enough of calling me dumb.”
Janet chuckled. “Okay, give me a more befitting synonym.”
“You don’t have to make fun of my weight, Jan. I know I’m pregnant.”
Janet furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “Girl what are you talking about?”
Mariah narrowed her eyes. “A more ‘befitting’ synonym, really? So you want me to say I’m fat? Even if I am, so what?”
Wow...it’s much worse than I thought.
“Mariah, sis, befitting means appropriate...not fat.”
Mariah looked at Janet like a deer in headlights. “Oh…”
Janet giggled. “Girl if I wanted to call you fat, I would’ve. But I wouldn’t even think that because there’s nothing wrong with a few extra pounds. As long as you’re healthy, what does it matter? Besides, you’re pregnant. You’re supposed to be bigger than a yacht.”
Mariah chuckled, gently throwing a balled up piece of tablet paper at Janet’s chest.
“Ooh! Your titties jiggle when I do that!” Mariah exclaimed.
Janet grinned, pushing her boobs together so that they nearly popped out of her v-neck.
Mariah cackled. “Rene don’t know what he missin’!”
Janet’s lips quickly formed a hard line. “Okay, let’s not.”
Mariah snorted, nearly falling over on the couch. “I’m sorry, Jan! You know I can’t control it!”
Yeah, well you better learn.
Janet rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Just get back to your point. What dumbass- I mean what did you do this time?”
Mariah wiped her right eye. A tear sat in the corner of it from laughing so hard. “Okay so promise you won’t tell anyone.”
“Oh god, what did you do?”
Mariah shushed Janet as if there were people around that could hear them. She lowered her voice to a whisper. “Okay so you know how Michael’s in Germany right now?”
“Yes…”
Mariah continued. “And you know how I was supposed to go there for ‘work’?”
Janet nodded.
“Okay so that’s not why I went, really.”
Janet smirked. “Girl, is that it? Everyone with half a brain could’ve figured that out. Your label is headquartered in New York, why would ya need to go to Germany?”
Mariah rolled her eyes. “Really, Janet?”
Janet made a face that read ‘I’m sorry to break it to you but at least I’m being honest’.
“Well, you don’t know why I went there. You just know that work wasn’t the reason.”
Janet took a drawn out, half-interested breath. She was sure she already knew what Mariah would say. “Why girl? I’m dying to know.”
Mariah ignored Janet’s quip and leaned into the other woman. “Because I wanted to see what Michael was up to.”
Janet pulled back.
“Wait a second, you weren’t with Mike?”
Mariah shook her head.
Janet raised an eyebrow. “Bitch, you stalked your own husband?”
Mariah bit her lip, nervously.
“What the fuck? Mariah do you know how crazy that sounds?”
“What?” Mariah asked, innocently. “I just wanted to check on him.”
“And you couldn’t have just went to see him? Better yet called him so that you could be here to take care of your kids.”
Mariah looked down with guilty eyes.
“Girl what? What kind of sense does that make?”
Mariah opened her mouth to speak but quickly closed it. Janet could tell she thought to watch her words.
“And so what the hell were you telling Michael when you were in Germany lurking outside his window? Did ya lie and say: the kids are great, honey! Noni did a cartwheel! Nicki and I finger painted! or some shit? Mariah that’s-”
“Look, I know, I know, it was stupid, okay? Damn, if I had’ve known you were gonna react like this, I would’ve just kept my mouth shut.” Mariah replied.
Janet shook her head. Well you’ve never been one to think before you speak.
“So did you see what you wanted to see?”
Mariah huffed. “I don’t know? I mean, I just saw him going to the rehearsal venue and back to his hotel. I know he’s supposed to do some interviews soon too. Oh, and I think he changed his hair? It looks straight now or something.”
Janet nodded, slowly. “Is that it, Mariah?”
“Well, I saw him at rehearsal. I snuck into the venue and saw just a little bit of it. He was by himself, just watching everybody--you know, doing his typical off-in-the-corner thing. One of the dancer girls kept staring at him but he didn’t seem to notice her. I did tell Wayne to make sure Phil knows to keep those hoes away from hi-”
“Really, girl? So you, pregnant, left your one year-old babies to go all the way over to another continent to see if your man cheating, he over there acting like a socially awkward recluse, and you still find a reason to be jealous?” Janet questioned. “Where is your self esteem, cause I certainly can’t find it!”
Mariah sat there with her mouth open. She was probably shocked that Janet said what she said.
“I- I don’t know. I just can’t help it. I love him so much! I couldn’t stand it if I lost him over some loose tail-”
Janet, shaking her head, interjected. “It ain’t losing a man if he’s willing to be taken.”
Mariah sat all the way back on the couch.
Janet started again. “And trust me, Michael ain’t tryna be taken. He loves you, girl.”
Mariah glanced at Janet, hopeful, before burying her head into the palms of her hands.
“I know he loves me. But I- I just have a hard time trusting people. Like, in my head, I know that he just needs a break, but in my heart it feels like he’s pulling away. I’ve felt like this ever since he married me, Janet.”
Janet nodded. She didn’t want to interrupt if Mariah was gonna have a moment.
“It’s just- I didn’t live with my daddy growing up. I only had my deadbeat ass mom. She didn’t do shit for me. She never showed me what love was supposed to be like. So now, I’m sittin’ here, running around like a chicken with its head cut off for this man! Taking care of business for this man! Having kids that I don’t even want for this man!-”
...I’m just gonna pretend that I didn’t hear that.
“-I do every fucking thing for him and what does he give me? He gives me nothin’! Nothin’, Janet! I can’t tell what he’s thinking or what he wants from me! He makes me jump through fucking hoops for drops of affection, girl! He only likes me when I’m ‘being a mother’ or gettin’ down on my damn knees for him! How the hell else am I supposed to feel? Where my self esteem supposed to be? Huh? Tell me!”
Janet rushed over to the other couch and hugged Mariah from the side. “It’s okay girl, it is o-kay. I know my brother has ain’t shit tendencies but I promise you he’s a good guy. And when he gets distant he’s getting that way because of his own shit he needs to work through. Trust me it has nothing to do with you.”
Mariah, face drenched in tears, glanced up at her big sister. “Okay but how does that make it better?” She said, between sniffles. “He still tries to hurt me even though I’ve done some pretty fucked up things for him.”
Janet tilted her head to the side, her eyebrow raised. “Like what?”
Mariah stared up through her lashes, shaking her head. “Nothing. Just- I’m so tired of giving and giving, when will he start giving?”
Janet took a deep breath, stroking Mariah’s hair. She shook her head, slowly, her eyes distant.
“Seems like y’all both holding on to a lot of shit from your pasts that you need to let go. And only then can he start being the best he can be and you stop being so damn insecure.”
Mariah wiped her face, maintaining a silence. She seemed to be genuinely thinking about what Janet was saying.
She finally opened her mouth to speak.
“I just wish y’all woulda told me all this before I married his ass.”
June 11th, 1999
Michael was laying in his hotel bed staring up at the ceiling. The hotel he was staying in was one of his favorites, if only for the memories he created there. He spent many nights with Diana in this hotel, one night in particular standing out from the rest.
“Come here.” Diana instructed, beckoning him with her finger.
Michael took a short step toward her.
“Come. Here.” She demanded.
He dropped his eyes to his feet and approached lit area of the extravagant suite.
“There you are.” Diana noted, smirking seductively.
Twenty three, and a full 125 pounds, Michael stood in front of her, bare naked. His hand appeared scarred with the seedings of vitiligo disease. The rest of his body so thin and graceful as a ballet dancer with years of practice.
Diana, dressed in a deep purple, rhinestone-lined, latex bodysuit, reached out for him. “You’re so gorgeous.”
Michael nervously stroked the back of his arm, slightly biting his lip.
“Relax, baby. You’re in good hands.” Diana reassured. She lifted Michael’s chin up, smiling at him.
He grinned. “Gee, I’m sorry Diane. I just- I’m so embarrassed.”
Diana shook her head. “No need. I’ll take care of you.”
She took Michael’s hand and led him over to the bed. She instructed him to lie down on his back while she searched for her thigh-high boots.
Michael watched as she covered the room, looking for her things. He’d been seeing Diana on and off since earlier in the year, but never steady. With her boyfriend Gene Simmons around, it was hard for them to ever get any alone time.
“Sorry, I haven’t done this in awhile. I’ll be ready in a second.” Diana explained.
Michael nodded, followed by nervous laughter. “It’s okay Diane, really. This all seems so...exciting.” He didn’t quite know what to expect when Diana told him to come over so she could introduce him to ‘her world’. He didn’t know if they’d be doing something music related or just hanging out. But certainly the last thing he expected was this.
“Okay I'm ready.” Diana called out. She came strutting back into the light, now with her thigh highs on.
She jumped on top of him--straddling him. She pulled a leather belt off the nightstand and tied his hands together to the headboard.
Michael raised an eyebrow. “Uh, Diane, what's that for?”
Diana stuck two fingers in his mouth with one hand, feeling around for something in the nightstand drawer with the other. “Don't speak unless spoken to.”
She pulled something out of the drawer and took her fingers out of his mouth. He coughed up hordes of spit. “You want me to stop, say ‘Morphine’.”
Michael nodded hastily. He was drenched in sweat from anticipation.
Diana fastened a bandana around his mouth. “I will pull this down whenever I want you to speak. From here on out you will address me as Mistress.”
He nodded again, equal parts afraid and turned on.
“Now Michael, I'm gonna hurt you real bad. Close your eyes.”
Michael shut his eyes tight, sliding his hand down his pants. He slowly made his way down his rock hard dick, letting Diana’s voice linger in his mind. Michael pumped himself vigorously at the thought. He let himself lose all control--massaging it so hastily, cum flew out before he could even get a good rhythm. “Aw fuck! Damn it!” He moaned, though it was just as much out of anger at himself for cumming so quickly as it was the toe curling pleasure from the thoughts of his domina. His eyes stung, remembering those sweet, sweet words that changed his life forever.
“When I'm done with you, you won't wanna run home to mommy. I'm your mommy now.”