A/N: Once again, please vote and comment! It means more than you know. (And this is one day late, sorry about that.) And happy New Year everyone!
Jimin's POV
I told myself that there was no way Jungkook's lips could actually feel so damn amazing against my own. But they did, they really did. My head couldn't quite keep up with the feeling and I forgot how to breathe from time to time. His lips were so soft and warm and just... just perfect.
But the kiss wasn't amazing only because of that. It was because of him.
Because of Jungkook.
A lot of people could kiss and their lips were warm and soft, that wasn't really anything special. Jungkook, on the other hand, was special. That fact took my breath away, just like the kiss did. I couldn't always believe him but I wanted to, I wanted to think that he really thought I was beautiful inside out, just like the way he kept whispering it against my lips between the kisses. I wanted to think like I was worth it, and maybe I was starting to believe it, little by little. That wasn't something you could just realize – "Oh wait, I am worthy of his love!" –, it was something that came slowly with help.
And him whispering it against my lips definitely helped because he wanted to kiss me. Me! It was kind of strange to think somethi–
Wait, what?
I pulled out of the kiss and rested my forehead against his. To him it seemed like I was just trying to breathe again, which is something I definitely would've needed to do, but I was trying to rewind my thoughts.
His love?
Shit.
Love was something hard for me, I had lost my faith in it when my mom had started to drift away from me when it usually was the kid who drifted away from their parents, and the last drop had been when I had found money and a note from her saying something about her not knowing when she was coming back.
Okay, so love existed. I believed in that. Why else would there be millions of songs and movies and books about it if it wasn't even true? No, I believed in love. I just believed there was no love for me.
I had, for a long time, been okay with it. Maybe not really okay but I had gotten used to live with the idea that the amount of love I should've gotten was somewhere else. Maybe someone who needed it more than me had gotten it, the love that was meant to be for me, and that's exactly why I had only settled for crying every night. I had never hurt myself or done anything because why would I do that? I could live without love, or that's what I had thought.
Now I didn't know anymore.
Jungkook tilted his head down and started to kiss my neck, eagerly showing me his feelings. I loved it, God I loved it, but I was so worried. What were his feelings exactly? He liked me, that I knew. But everything else seemed so weird and wrong. Could love feel wrong? Or maybe it didn't feel wrong, just... strange. I didn't think that he could just like me forever, but the thought of him feeling more for me... I was a little scared of that. In what way, I wasn't sure yet.
But God help me, Jungkook's lips felt so right and amazing against my skin. I almost whined when he sucked lightly and then grinned against my skin. I could hear myself breathe but I couldn't feel it, at least not anymore since his lips were on my skin again, leaving little trails of kisses behind.
If this was what he did to me when he liked me, what would he do when or if there was more?
My phone beeped.
Jungkook's head snapped up and he looked at me. His cheeks were rosy and his hair pointing to funny directions. He gave me his bunny smile before rolling off of me and handing me my phone from the nightstand a second later.
I just stared at Jungkook. His lips were a little swollen and coated with our saliva and he looked so damn good looking at me, sitting on the bed and trying to even out his breath.
He tilted his head to the side and blushed a little more. "What?" Worry crossed his features. "Did I do something wrong?"
"No", I said without thinking, though it was the truth. I swallowed. "You didn't do anything wrong." I glanced at his lips. Why was I this hormonal? I could feel how my pants were a little tighter than before. Focus, Jimin.
My phone beeped again and Jungkook's eyes dropped down to it in my hand before looking at me again. "Then why are you still looking at me? It sounds like you're needed."
"I'm not", I muttered, finally letting my eyes leave Jungkook and drop to the phone I was holding.
The screen lit up again. 3 new messages from Yoongi.
I frowned. Why was he texting me? Last time he had texted me was probably over a year ago about homework and if I remember correctly, he hadn't even bothered to do it after all. I swiped the screen slowly and opened the messages.
Yoongi: Jimin
Yoongi: Jimin please
Yoongi: I need help
I glanced at Jungkook with worry all over my face and Jungkook immediately jumped to sit next to me. He read the messages and frowned deeply. "What does he need help to?"
"I don't know."
"Ask him!"
"Okay..." I typed quickly a response.
Me: Okay, what's wrong?
Jungkook and I waited for a few second before a new message appeared.
Yoongi: Can I call you?
In the next second my phone was already ringing. I raised my brows at Jungkook in confusion before pressing the green button and raising the phone to my ear. "Yoongi?" I asked.
There was weird squeaky sound and heavy breathing coming from the other end.
"Yoongi?" I repeated.
"I..." Yoongi's shaking voice filled my ear. "I... I..."
My eyes widened and I put the phone on speaker for Jungkook to hear Yoongi's panicked mumbling. "Yoongs, are you alright?"
"No... I... Umm... I don't know what to do." His voice sounded like he was about to start crying, full of pain and some kind of frustration.
"What's wrong, Yoongi?" I asked.
"Everything!" he screamed and then sobbed quietly. "I don't know", he whined.
"What don't you know?" I was starting to feel awful. I didn't know what was wrong and I didn't know how to help him. I didn't know if I could help.
"Anything..." he cried.
I swallowed. "That can't be true. Tell me something, anything you can." What was going on? I had never seen or heard Yoongi this upset. Something was definitely wrong and badly.
"It shouldn't feel right but it does."
What?
He cried out quietly. "And I know it's stupid but I can't fucking help it." It sounded like he wasn't even trying to breathe normally anymore. His breaths were rapid and shallow, just like mine had been not many minutes ago. From a completely different reason, though.
I was trying to think for the right words to say but I didn't have them. Jungkook looked as helpless as me. I wanted to help Yoongi, he was my friend. And we had become closer in the past few days, I wanted to give something back to him for helping me.
"It's..." Yoongi started again. "It's been for so long and I don't know how to stop it."
"Stop what?" I tried to sound calm but I wasn't.
"THIS!"
Jungkook and I both winced at the sudden loud yell. "Yoongi?" Jungkook asked this time.
"What?" he muttered, sounding a little scared.
"Do you want us to come there? We could help you more easily", Jungkook tried quietly, voice steady and calm.
"NO!" The answer was immediate and angry. "You can't fucking come here. I don't need your help. I don't need anyone's help–"
And the line was dead.
Jungkook and I looked at each other for a long time. I wondered if I should call him back but it was pretty obvious he didn't want to talk to us anymore. But this all was so confusing. First he wanted our help and then not? I could still hear his panicked voice in my ears. He had needed help, there was no doubt in that. What had he needed help for, why hadn't he told us? I wanted to know but didn't want to seem too pushy either. Maybe he would tell when he was ready – that I was able to understand.
Still... It all was a little weird.
"Okay" Jungkook started slowly, "so that was weird."
I nodded. "Yeah... I wonder what was wrong."
Jungkook and I sat in silence for a few minutes, both thinking about what had happened. Too much had happened today. Way too much. We both yawned at the same time, the grinned at each other. Who wouldn't be tired after a day like this? We both knew we needed to sleep and deal with everything tomorrow.
We brushed our teeth and dressed down, getting ready to go under the covers. When we both finally climbed into my bed, his arms around me and his breath warm against my neck. It was the best place to be after a long, tiring day. Or any time at all, actually.
There was a soft knock on the door, then silence.
"Hello?" Jungkook asked.
Sumin giggled on the other side of the door. "Do I dare to come in?"
I rolled my eyes. "Yes."
She opened the door just a little, her face only visible because of her phone's screen's light. She was currently grinning at her phone but when Jungkook cleared his throat she lifted her gaze to us. I raised my brows at her behavior – she was still smiling like crazy – but she just waved me off. "I just wanted to say goodnight to you."
"Goodnight", Jungkook and I said in unison.
Sumin smiled and stepped out of the room, eyes already glued to her screen again.
"So she's acting weird", I pointed out, whirling around to face Jungkook in his embrace.
"What else is new?"
"I mean weirder."
Jungkook shrugged. "Everyone's weird today, maybe they put something to the water in here."
"Yeah..." I answered but my mind was absent, my eyes following my fingers which traced Jungkook's scars in his arm. Jungkook's muscles flexed in response but he didn't take pull his arm away from me.
"They're ugly", Jungkook said quietly.
"I've said it before and I say it again, they're not." I lifted my gaze to meet his eyes. "You're beautiful."
"My scars are not."
"They're a part of you so they are."
"Okay", he said, not sounding really convinced but not really pushing it either. Then a smile curved his lips. "You're more beautiful, though."
"I'm not", I said and my stomach agreed with a loud rumble, making me very aware of my tummy. My hands dropped from Jungkook's chest to my stomach and I looked down. Yes, it was still small. I let out a long sigh.
"Are you hungry?" Jungkook asked carefully.
I shook my head and turned around back to my place. One of Jungkook's arms was under my head but the other one curved around my waist. "I'm not", I mumbled.
"Okay..." This time he wasn't pushing at all. "We'll eat in the morning. Now let's sleep, beautiful."
I blushed madly and pulled Jungkook closer from his arms.
I still didn't get how I deserved him.
A/N: Next update: 7th or 8th