Hello people! So, here's a new chapter! It's been delayed for a while, actually, this story is always delayed. oops. But anyways, I'm finally on Christmas break yay! I'm going to try to write as much as possible over this break so chapters can be more frequent after the new year. This chapter is posted on Christmas Eve and I'm hoping that the Christmas special will be up tomorrow just in time for the holidays <3 That will be my Christmas present to all of you. I can't thank you guys enough for reading my story and none of this would have happened without any of you so thank you! If you don't celebrate Christmas or celebrate something else instead, I hope you guys have a great holiday season <3
If the next chapter isn't up by tomorrow, I hope that you guys all have a wonderful Christmas! <3
I had some help from my friend while writing this chapter (you know who you are) so thank you friend!
Anyways, I'll keep this authors note short and sweet, so I'll end it here!
I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and as always, I'll see you guys at then end of the chapter.
This chapter is completely unedited since I'm visiting my sister right now and the wifi here is really crappy. I'll edit it as soon as I get home or when I'm somewhere with better wifi. Hope you dont mind!
~Jessica
Song- Alessia Cara, Scars To Your Beautiful
"Every weakness contains within itself a strength." -Shusaku Endo
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+Payton's POV+
I woke up from the light seeping through the blinds, I groaned as I slowly opened my eyes.
As my eyes slowly came back to focus, I noticed an unfamiliar weight on my stomach. I looked down to see Hunter there sleeping peacefully with a little content smile on his face.
What happened last night?
I thought back on everything leading up to this moment and things slowly came back to me.
Last night, I was awoken by another one of my nightmares, the ones about my parents. For some reason all the nightmares seemed to play like a broken record over and over again and never seemed to stop. It was like a story that was read over and over again, so much that I could memorize every word.
As usual, I woke up crying and decided to go downstairs. That's what I always did when I had one of those nightmares, I didn't want to wake up Hunter and didn't want to seem like a bother so I dealt with it myself. At least I tried to deal with it myself.
I didn't want Hunter to know about what happens every night, I didn't want him to know that the breakfast I made him in mornings, the ones that I woke up early to make were because I just didn't sleep at all and needed something to take my mind off things. I didn't want him to see me crying because I didn't want his pity.
I couldn't shake off the feeling that Jordan being in the hospital was somehow connected to me. It was just too much of a coincidence that he would get hurt after I started hanging out with and after Adam came back. Maybe I just brought bad luck with me everywhere.
The weight on my stomach shifted and Hunter started to wake up. Slowly, he opened his eyes and looked at me.
"Good morning, my koala."
My eyebrows knitted together and I let out a small laugh, "A koala? Your nickname game is getting weak."
Hunter gasped in mock offense, "I beg to differ!"
"Whatever you say buddy."
"Did you just buddy-zone me?" He raised an eyebrow.
I mocked him and raised an eyebrow as well, "Did I?"
"You better not have, because I am your boyfriend after all," Hunter stretched and turned onto his side, still facing me.
I adjusted the pillows on my side and moved to lay on my side as well to face him then smiled, "Fake-boyfriend, do I have to remind you of that contract we signed?"
"That contract we signed also said that I would still be sleeping with any woman that I wanted but it doesn't seem like I'm doing so, so I guess we could break a few rules," he pointed out.
"Well, how do I know that you're not sleeping with anyone?" I asked jokingly.
Hunter placed a hand on his heart, "You wound me Ms. Flores. Anyways, we've been spending most of our time together that I don't think that I'd even be able to be spending time with someone else." He pecked my cheek, "Anyways, I like spending my free time with you."
I laughed, "Alright then, I guess I believe you."
Hunter grinned then became serious again.
I furrowed my eyebrows, "What is it?"
He sighed, "Payton, you know what I'm going to talk about." I didn't say anything. "Come on, please?"
"There's nothing to talk about," I retorted looking away.
"If you don't want to talk to me, I could always have Erica come talk to you, she's a therapist."
"No," I responded quickly, "I don't need a therapist, I'm fine."
"Well obviously you're not if you wake up in the middle of the night practically everyday crying. You need your rest Payton! You're going to get sick or something if you keep this up!" Hunter then sighed. "I'm sorry I lashed out. But I'm worried about you Payton."
"I'm sorry too," I said quietly. "It's just hard to open up to people, I'm not used to it."
"I know," Hunter said placing a comforting hand on my waist. "But just think about it alright? You don't have to make a decision now but I'm not just letting this go un-noticed either. We'll go at your pace alright? Whenever you decide on something I'll be there every step of the way."
"Fine," I agreed. "I'll think about it."
Hunter smiled, "Thanks." He then got up and pulled on a white t-shirt and made his way out of the room, "Now go and get ready while I make breakfast, we're going Christmas shopping today."
As he left the room I sat up from the bed.
Christmas.
I remembered when I used to celebrate with family and friends, before everything else happened. My parents would always go full on out on Christmas decorations and dinner.
After my parents were gone, Becca would always offer for me to spend Christmas at her place but Adam restricted me from doing so. Christmas for me for the next four years after my parents died was just like any other day with Adam and eventually, I stopped counting how many days there was until Christmas, I stopped decorating and I just stopped celebrating things in general.
On top of having Adam control everything in my life, it also felt wrong to myself to celebrate when my parents weren't here.
I felt guilty celebrating anything because my parents couldn't be there to experience that happiness.
Once I finally escaped from Adam, Becca gave me time to settle down and get used to having my freedom back again. She didn't push me into doing anything I didn't feel comfortable with and slowly but surely, I got better again and started going out and having fun just a little bit more.
The constant fear of Adam coming back never left though but I tried my best on blocking it out most of the time.
This year would be my first year celebrating Christmas without my parents and to be honest, if it hadn't been for Gonzalez and Beckett, it probably wouldn't have been.
I had gone to their place about two weeks ago and they had given me some advice.
"So Christmas is coming up really soon," Gonzalez said taking a sip of his coffee.
"Yeah!" Beckett jumped excitedly causing Gonzalez to roll his eyes. "We already have the tree up."
I looked over at the living room and indeed, there was a huge white Christmas tree with lights and ornaments strung along.
"You guys did a great job on making Hunter's extra Mansion a makeover," I said looking around.
"Might as well make it a home I guess," Gonzalez answered. "We were planning on staying a while, if you don't mind of course."
This time, I was the one to jump excitedly, "Of course you guys can stay! Oh my gosh! This is great news!"
They both chuckled, "We were hoping you would say that," Beckett said. "We've turned this cold place into a cozy home and it'd be a waste if we just left so soon. Who would live here then?
I laughed.
"So, are you going to spend Christmas with that lucky boy of yours?" Gonzalez asked.
I sighed and sat down, "I really don't know..."
"What do you mean you don't know? Are you guys fighting? Did he break up with you? Did he cheat- I swear, I'll break his arm if he did anything to hurt-"
I cut Gonzalez off, "No, no it's nothing like that, we're fine. It's just that- I haven't really celebrated ever since- well you know, ever since my parents..."
"Sweetie, your parents wouldn't have wanted this," Gonzalez said.
"You don't know what they would have wanted."
"That's true, I don't. But I don't think that they would have wanted you to be sad and all the time. They would have wanted you to be happy, to live like any normal young adult. No, I don't know what your parents would have really wanted but I know that they wouldn't want you to do this to yourself. Just because you're celebrating without your parents doesn't mean that you forgot about them or that you're happier without them around. They would have wanted you to move on. You don't need to forget them Payton, but you have to continue on with life. Anyways, you still have them here," Gonzalez gestured to my where my heart was. "You have them in there, and in your brain and memories will never leave."
"What a caterpillar calls the end of the world, another calls it a butterfly," Beckett commented.
"What does that suppose to mean?" I asked.
"I don't know, it's all in the way you look at it."
"I'm not forcing you to do anything Payton, but just think about it alright?" Gonzalez pleaded.
I nodded.
"Good," Gonzalez pulled me into a hug.
"Now, who wants lasagna?" Beckett shouted.
I finished getting ready. I went for a simple winged eyeliner and some mascara and pulled my hair into a fishtail braid. I was wearing some black skinny jeans and an oversized sweater before walking downstairs. The days were getting colder and they seemed to get darker earlier as well. It wasn't cold enough for it to snow yet though which made the Christmas season seem just a little less festive.
I left my room and walked downstairs.
*****
After breakfast, Bill dropped Hunter and I off at a mall.
I took the last sip from my cup of coffee and placed the plastic cup into the garbage. "So, where to first?"
"I... Was actually hoping that you knew," Hunter said sheepishly scratching his head.
"Have you never gone Christmas shopping?" I asked slightly amused.
"O-of course I've gone Christmas shopping before!" Hunter exclaimed. "I just- I just-"
I placed my hands on my hips, "Go on."
He let out a breath and looked down at his feet and mumbled something along the lines of, "I've-never-Christmas-alone."
I cupped a hand around my ear and leaned in closer, "I'm sorry, what was that? I couldn't hear."
Hunter sucked in a deep breath, "I'venevercelebratedchristmasalonebeforeandIdon'tknowhowto."
I chuckled, "Pardon?"
Hunter sighed, "I've never celebrated Christmas alone before and I don't know how to."
I blinked then started laughing.
Hunter pouted, "Don't laugh at me."
I sobered up a bit then spoke again, "Alright, alright, I'm sorry. Look, you don't have to be embarrassed."
"What type of person am I? I'm 26 years old and I don't even know how Christmas works."
"You're just very... Uneducated. But don't worry, I'm not that experienced in Christmas either, so we're in this together."
Hunter looked at me weirdly, "You aren't experienced?"
"Nope," I sighed. "I haven't celebrated ever since my parents died but I'm hoping that this year will be the year when I'll get back at it. It'll be a learning experience for the both of us."
Hunter smiled, "Well, at least my first Christmas will be with someone special."
I felt my face get a little heated, "I'm special?"
He pulled me into him and pecked the top of my head, "Just a little bit."
We stood there for a moment before I pulled away, "Alright, enough of this mushy stuff, let's do some Christmas shopping."
*****
"You really have no clue how to do this Christmas thing don't you?"
I tried to stifle my laughter while watching Hunter attempt to build the tree that we had bought but failing miserably at it.
"Hunter, I think you're doing it wrong. I don't think the lights go on the tree before it's even built."
Hunter grunted as a response and threw the lights onto the couch then picked up the ornaments.
"That goes for those as well."
Before he could throw the ornaments as well, I quickly ran over and grabbed them from him, "Woah, those are made of glass, you don't want to throw that."
Hunter slumped in defeat and looked at me, "Ok fine, I need help on the tree."
I placed the ornaments down and crossed my arms, "Do you now?"
"Yes I do, please?"
I smiled in victory and kneeled beside him, "Alright then, where do we start?"
"I don't know, that's why the tree isn't built."
*****
After about an hour, the tree was finally up and the lights and ornaments were on as well.
"I think we did a pretty good job," Hunter said with his arms crossed as he looked up and down the tree proudly.
"No Hunter, I did a pretty good job, you literally didn't do anything but place the star on the tree-"
"See, I did something-"
"-because I was too short to reach it," I laughed. "I had to tell you where to put the star."
"Alright, fine I admit it. I didn't do any of the work but..."
He walked into the kitchen then came back with a mug in each hand, "I made my special hot chocolate."
"What's special about it?"
He paused for a moment to think about it, "It's made by me."
I laughed and took a cup, "Good enough I guess."
As we both sat down, Hunter spoke, "How about we continue that game of 20 questions?"
I nodded, "Ok, you start."
Hunter thought for a moment, "Favourite time of day."
"Morning," I answered. I hated the night, it was too silent and that was when my mind ran free. Some people would say that it was a good thing but to me, I dreaded it because all the thoughts I had were about my parents and Adam.
"That's something we have in common, I like the mornings as well. It's when I go out into the big wide world and make some bank," Hunter chuckled taking a sip.
"You have more than enough money to satisfy a small country, why do you need to make more?" I asked.
Hunter looked at me and grinned, "Because it's fun taking other people's money."
I smiled and shook my head, "You're such a nice person."
"I know right?!" Hunter said agreeing enthusiastically. "Okay, now your turn, ask me a question."
"Ummm... Question seven, favourite place in the world."
Hunter looked at me, "Anywhere as long as it's with you."
I fake gagged, "Please don't start with that."
Hunter sighed, "Fine, Bora Bora. I've always wanted to go there."
"Oooh! I've always wanted to visit Italy."
Hunter looked extremely content with my answer. "Okay next question, where are you from?"
"My parents both came from Barcelona, so I'm full Spanish."
Hunter nodded, "I'm from Italy and Palestine. I should take you to those places someday."
"So which parent is from where?"
"My mom is Italian and my dad is from Palestine."
I looked at him confused, "Why don't you ever really talk about your parents?"
Hunter sighed, "It's complicated. Every family has their problems but we all handle it differently. I just decide to try and just not be associated too much with them."
"I understand," I answered taking another sip of my drink. "What languages do you speak?"
"Is that another question?" Hunter asked and I nodded.
Hunter sighed and thought for a moment, "Well, there's a lot of languages." He counted silently with his fingers then spoke again, "Well of course I speak English." I laughed. "Umm, I speak Arabic, French, and Italian."
"French?"
"Yeah, I lived in France for a year when I was on a business trip."
"Say something in one of your languages," I said bouncing on the couch slightly.
"Jamila." Hunter said grinning.
I tilted my head, "What does that mean?"
Hunter put down his mug and took mine out of my head then pulled me closer to him and kissed my cheek. "It means beautiful in Arabic."
I laughed, "Out of all words, why that?"
"Because that's what you are."
I fake gagged, "You're way too cheesy and I'm lactose intolerant."
Hunter laughed and pulled me closer, "Oh shut up, you love it."
Thank you for reading! Until next time... <3