Part Fourteen: I Don't Fight To Lose
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Song For The Chapter:
Don't Want To Dance Aloneby Fifth Harmony
Like We Use Toby A Rocket To The Moon
Crazier by Taylor Swift
Kiss Me by The Fray
All Around Meby Flyleaf
You Found Me by The Fray
Bulletproof Loveby Pierce The Veil
A Drop In The Ocean by Ron Pope
-Celeste's Point Of View-
I stood in front of the full length mirror in my bedroom looking over any last minute details about my apperance. Everything seemed fine: my hair was pin straight (just the way I wanted), my make-up was the way I wanted, and my dress seemed fine. Despite everything I had ever thought about going to prom, deep down inside I was glad I was going. Now that I saw my relefction I was happy that my friends had pushed me towards going. Though everything had been done last minute, I was glad with the outcome. My dress wasn't my dream dress, considering I didn't know what my dream dress was, but it was definatly something that had caught my attention.
It was a deep darkish red dress that I had found at a special event store, and had fallen in love with when I saw it. It wasn't tight, instead it flowed out once it got to my waist. The dress flowed down just above my knees and the top was strapless which showed my tattoo that wasn't often shown off. The chest part was embelished with sequins and small ringstones that went to the back of the dress. The accessories I had gotten for it were also simple like the dress. I had bought some dark red heals - which I had to be careful with since I never wore heals - and a simple black necklace that I thought would match it.
After doing last minute revisions for the hundreth time, I grabbed my small bag that consisted of lip balm, my phone, money, and my drivers licesnse just in case. I turned off my lights and walked into the living room where my family was waiting for me.
They all sat on the couches waiting for me to enter the room, and when I did, my sister-in-law walked over and applied more hairspray to my hair.
"There," She put the bottle back down, "I think you'll hair will be ok." She gave me a small hug and walked back to her seat.
"You look different." My brother slowly said.
"Is that good or bad?" I asked, not sure by what he meant. Different wasn't always good.
"A good different. You're growing up." I smiled and walked towards the front of the living room.
"How does it look?" I asked. I spun around once and let them see the dress fully before stopping and standing still again.
My siblings gave me a thumbs up and a smile, while both my parents nodded.
"You look great." My mom said and looked up at the clock above the door. "What time are you leaving?"
It was almost seven which meant the whole event would be starting soon, but I didn't mind being late. My friends and I had agreed to meet up inside the venue since they had all gotten their last minute dates, unlike me.
"I'm going to leave now, it'll probably take a while to get there." I grabbed my keys from the key rack and waved good-bye to everyone in the living room.
"Have fun, and don't get in trouble!" My mom said before I opened the door.
"And be back home on time." My dad added.
I shook my head before walking out of the house, and walking down the small steps carefully towards my truck. I set my bag in the passangers seat, and did my best to get into the drivers seat without breaking a bone. I wasn't use to wearing heals, so it would take time to adjust to the added height, and learn how to balance properly.
As I drove into town, I played music quietly and let the windows down to get fresh air into the car. The sun was just setting, making the sky have a pretty orange color and the air cool off making it not as hot as early summer days would be.
After driving a long distance (in my opinion) I finally made it to the event center in which our prom would be held. Cars, limos, and more were already parked in the parking lot and people in our class, were either taking pictures outside or were already entering the venue.
We're already inside.
Was all that the message from Dani had said.
Since they'd had dates, they'd come together and raised enough money to have a limo take them and bring them back from prom. I'd obviously had decided to take my own vehicle - avoided the akwardness I would feel.
It had taken me half an hour to decide if I really want and was ready to go in, but in the end I actually walked into the venue to find my friends. The place was full of teens already dancing and just enjoying the night, but I easily spotted my friends at a table that was placed against one of the walls.
The PTA and student coucil had obviously taken a lot of time preparing this day judging by the way everything looked. It had nice decorations, arrangement, and everything was running smoothly. Overall, the entire place looked good.
I carefully walked towards the table where my friends were sitting, and payed attention to the people that were already here. Unfortunatly, Austin was no where in sight. We'd talked a lot during the week, and he said he would be sitting at our table.
There were a few empty seats at the table, so I stood behind one of them and waved at everyone at the table. Alex, Crystal, Dani, and Dani's date (whose name I didn't know), all waved back. Rose was the only one missing, but I'd ask about her later, instead, I complimented both my friends outfits.
Crystal wore a black, peacock, colored dress that she'd bought the day at the store. From what she'd modeled for us at the store, it stopped just above her knees and was strapless. One part of the chest area had fabric that resembled a peacocks feathers, while the rest remained jet black. She had paired it all with dark accessories and her shoulder length hair was pin straight.
Dani, on the other hand, looked completely different than Crystal. She wore a simple, baby blue skater dress. The only major decoration that the dress had was small, alligned, studs that were placed on the neckline. Her hair was in nice Farrah Fawcet curls that she'd wanted for so long, and she wore simple black vans.
All of our outfits were different, and picked out last minute, but we'd gotten something nice together in the end.
"Where's Rose?" I asked as I sat down on one of the empty chairs.
Crystal took a sip from her drink before responding, "She had a little wardrobe malfunction, but she'll be back soon." She took another drink from her water before adding onto her sentence. " - with her date."
"Speaking of dates," I started before turning towards Dani and her date. "I don't think I know who this is." I gestured towards the __________ haired boy.
"This is Aaron, and Aaron, this is Celeste." I quickly waved at the boy and slightly smiled.
"Treat her right, she's a very lovely person." I warned. He chuckled and raised his right hand.
"I promise I will."
Dani chuckled and gave him a quick hug before he glanced down towards her and pecked her cheek.
I looked away to avoid feeling uncomfortable in this situation and focused on everything else. At a distance I could see Rose as happy as ever talking to the person that was walking next to her. Her curls bounced as she walked and laughed, but they managed to maintain their shape as she walked towards the drinks.
I instead focused on the two seats infront of me, since both Alex and Crystal were imersed in their own conversation and so were Aaron and Dani. My concentration didn't last long since both seats were both quickly taken by Austin and Lauren.
Though I didn't really like Lauren, I had to admit, she did look great in her dress. She looked perfect as always, and I do admit, I was jelous of her and her apperance. Her dress was a also a dark red color, and her light brown her was curled and placed to one side of side. Her makeup was dark, but she pulled it off well as always.
Alex was the first to acknowledge their presence and quickly the entire table had greeted both of them. Both couples quicklky went back to their conversation leaving Lauren, Austin, and I to talk since Rose wasn't back yet.
Dammit Rose.
"I like your dress." I looked at Lauren, "You look great."
"Thank you." Lauren said softly, "Yours is kind of like mine, just shorter." She pointed out.
She was partly right. Both our dresses had somewhat the same embelishments, except hers was longer (floor-lenght to be exact) and had more embelishments down at the bottom.
"Yeah, it is. You look really pretty overall." I admitted.
She slightly nodded and turned her attention back to Austin who was messing around on his phone and hadn't said a word the entire time.
Next to me, Rose quickly sat down accompanied by a boy with sandy blonde hair. Both of them quickly said hi to everyone at the table and quickly continued talking to one another.
Though I wasn't talking much, I was actually glad I had decided to come to this event. Everyone was right, you only ever get one senior prom.
***
It didn't even take long before everyone had decided to disperse around the entire venue and went their own seperate ways. Of course Alex and Crystal went to the dance floor that was set up, same with Dani and Aaron. Rose on the other hand, had left with her date to "explore" the area. Though we didn't really think that's what they were going to do, they still left and hadn't been back for quiet some time.
Austin had walked off with Lauren hot on his heals right after everyone else had left - which left me alone at the table.
I didn't mind though, instead of wallowing in self-pity, I had actually talked and taken pictures with people in my class. People that were bearable, of course. I always hung out around the same group of friends, but I did have other people outside of our little crew, and luckily they were also here.
After socializing enough, or as much I thought I needed to, I walked back to the table we had been origionally sitting at soon to be joined by Austin. Lauren wasn't with him, which led me to believe that she'd ditched.
"Lauren ditch you?" I asked as I played with the white table cloth.
"Yeah." He chuckled and shook his head, "She went to talk to more people that were here, I said I'd pass."
"I think I've had enough socializing with people in this class, I'm ready to finally graduate." I said.
Austin slightly nodded. "You look great by the way." He said as he messed with the flowers placed in the middle of the table.
I looked down at my dress. "Thanks, all last minute." I teased. "I like your tie by the way, very dark red."
He laughed and placed the vase he'd grabbed and put it back in the middle, "Thank you. So, what are you going to do now?"
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Are you going to socialize more? Just sit here? Go get a drink?" He explained.
"I think sitting here sounds like fun, and I'll try to avoid getting a drink - I'm sure its spiked." I drummed my fingernails on the wooden table.
"Well then, c'mon." He stood up from his seat and extended his hand.
"What?" I looked down at his hand and back up at him.
"C'mon." Instead of waiting for my respond, he grabbed my hand from the table and pulled me back up, making me slightly loose my balance.
I quickly grabbed onto his shoulders to prevent me from falling, and properly balanced myself again.
"Where are we going?" I asked as he fixed his coat.
"You ask too many question." He said before he grabbed my hand again and walking.
"I do not - just tell me." I objected.
"We're gonna have fun - what prom's meant to be, fun." He walked quickly and I was pulled along behind him before stopping at a part of the dance floor that wasn't as crowded as the rest.
"Dancing? That's your idea of fun?" I asked.
"C'mon, its not that bad. Dancing's fun." He said moved his head to the rhythm of the song.
"I don't dance, and I can't dance." I admitted as I looked at him trying to get me to dance.
"Its not hard, just dance." He linked both our hands and swayed them back and forth between us. "Just go with what you think is right." He explained.
I looked down at our hands and also swayed them along to them beat of the music. In a matter of minutes, we were both doing whatever and just enjoying ourselves.
"See, you know what you're doing." He said before taking my hand and spinning me which made my dress flow out when twirl along with me.
I grabbed onto Austin's shoulders and balanced myself properfly as I laughed and tried to calm myself down. Austin hugged onto me to keep me balanced and also laughed along.
"Isn't this more fun than sitting at a table alone?" He asked as soon as we both calmed down.
"Much more fun." I admitted, as I let go of Austin and he did the same. "What other dances do you know?" I asked.
He thought for a second before putting his right hand up. "Do you remember how to do-si-do?" He asked.
"Oh my god, no." His face broke out into a grin and I covered my face with my hands, "That was such a stupid lesson in school."
He placed the palm of my hand up against his and spun around in a circle before linking our arms and doing the same thing again.
"It wasn't too bad," I scoffed. "It was some-what of a fun lesson?"
"Imagine being a fifth grader stuck holding some boy's hand while your parents watch you - pretty emberassing If you think about it." I admitted.
"It wasn't that bad. I was a good dancer." He defended himself.
I shook my head and swayed a bit more to the music. I didn't recognize the song entirely, but I knew I'd heard it a lot on the radio.
"I'm going to get something to drink and take a break - my shoes are killing me." I complained.
"I'll go with you." Austin said.
I led our way thru the crowds of students that had joined the dancefloor and walked towards one of the tables that was lined with drinks and some food.
I grabbed two waterbottles and handed one to Austin, while I kept one. I hadn't noticed earlier, but it had definitely had gotten hotter than it was earlier. I threw away my empty water bottle and walked back to our table with Austin following behind me.
As soon as I sat down, I quickly kicked off my heals and placed them underneath the table. Since I wasn't use to wearing heals, they tired me out faster than they should've.
Once again, both Austin were the only ones left at the table meaning everyone else was still out and about.
"Where's Lauren?" I asked as I took Austin's waterbottle and took a long drink from it.
"I don't know." He snatched the bottle away from me. "She didn't say when she'd be back at the table."
The music changed once more to a song I recognized: Like We Use To. There was nothing special about the song, I just liked the song so I nodded along to the beat.
"Hey, wanna go dance again." Austin said as he stared off into the crowd.
I looked out into the crowd and nodded.
I stood up from the chair and followed Austin towards the dancefloor again. He found a somewhat less crowded area and turned to face me. He pulled me in closer and rested his hands on my back, while I carefully wrapped my arms around his neck.
"This is ... different?" I stated, not really sure how to describe this situation.
"Is that good or bad?" He asked.
"Good - for the most part." I admitted.
He laughed and moved us to the rhythm of the song. His hands went from my back to being placed firmly on my waist. He spun us once and finally stopped and placed his forehead against mine.
"I'm glad we're talking again." He said quietly. I nodded in agreement.
I was glad we were talking again, but unfortuantely, it wouldn't last for long. I didn't plan on sticking around Texas for too long, but I decided to ignore that and just enjoy this moment.
We continued dancing as the song came closer to the ending.
I know, love
Happens all the time, love
You're on my mind, love
It happens all the time- love, yeah.
The song sung.
I adjusted my grip and took a deep breath as Austin brought us closer. I could feel both of our breaths clashing - this wasn't okay. Nothing good was going to come out of this situation, I knew it.
Will he love you like I loved you?
Will he tell you everyday?
Will he make you feel like you're invincible with every word he'll say?
Can you promise me if this was right:
Don't throw it all away?
Can you do all these things?
Will you do all these things...
Like we used to?
Oh, like we used to...
Was the last chorus in the song, and I this was the point in which our situation would only worsen.
I felt Austin's lips against mine, which didn't catch me by suprise, since I knwe something was going to go wrong. The kiss wasn't forceful, it was gentle, but I couldn't kiss back. I shouldn't kiss back, I reminded myself. I couldn't fuck up a relationship that seemed so perfect, even if it wasn't. I couldn't fuck something else up.
I quickly pulled away and shook my head.
"I'm so sorry." I muttered over and over again, even if I wasn't the one that had started it. "I'm so sorry." I backed away from Austin's grasp and quickly walked back to the table where my shoes were at.
Crystal was at the table about to sit down when I made it and grabbed my shoes. I put them on again quickly.
"What's wrong?" I didn't give her a chance to see me, instead I quickly ran away as I heard her call out my name. "Celeste!"
"Celeste!" I heard Austin yell from a distance, which just made me walk faster (or as fast as I could considering I was wearing heals).
As I got outside, I quickly grabbed my keys from the small bag I carried with me, and fumbled to find the unlock button. A pair of pounding footsteps quickly caught up to me and spun me around quickly.
Austin was out of breath, but I quickly backed away from him. "Don't get closer!" I warned. "You weren't suppose to do that! That wasn't okay!" I yelled at him.
Crystal, Alex, Rose, and Lauren quickly caught up to us and looked at the scene that was unfolding infront of them.
"You shouldn't of done that!" I yelled one last time before taking a step backwards.
"I didn't - I wasn't - I" He didn't get a chance to finish his sentence, since Crystal walked up to him and punched him square in the jaw.
"Crystal!" I shrieked.
"What the hell was that about?" Lauren yelled as she walked towards Austin. "What did you do?" She yelled at me.
"Me?!" I yelled. I hadn't done anything, in my opinion.
"Rose, hit her!" Crystal pointed at Lauren. "I don't fight to lose."
"No, stop!" I yelled before backing up away from the group. "Stop! Nobody hit anyone, just stop!" Though I tried to never cry in public, I couldn't help the tears that were forming.
This night wasn't suppose to end like this. None of this should've happened, but it did. I'd caused all of this.
"I'm going home." I muttered and quickly got back to my car, started the engine and got out of there as quickly as I could.
I'd ruined a relationship, I'd ruined my friends' night, I'd ruined so many things already.
I made it back home quickly, and went inside just to let my family know I was back home. It wasn't too late, so they were still awake. I avoided questions, and made it back into my room, just ot change and get my laptop, before walking out and going into the studio.
They must've gotten the memo, and didn't bother me for the rest of the night as I stayed up and did pointless things on the soundboards.
I had nothing better to do at the moment, so why not just do something that wouldn't make me upset. It was the best thing I could do at the moment so I continued to do it. I avoided everything that happened around me. I avoided the messages, calls, and any notification that came in until they stopped and finally completely stopped.
Avoiding was something I was good at, and would always be. Avoiding my problems instead of facing them like a stronger person. But I wasn't that, so I continued doing what I did, hoping I didn't have to leave the studio where everything seemed to be at peace.
Author's Note:
Hi. :) That was an eventful chapter, wow. What did ya'll think? Also, at the top for "Song For The Chapter" those were a lot of songs, but those were all songs that inspired this chapter. I really do recommend listening to Like We Use To and All Around Me the most out of all of them.
Hope you liked this, and remember: one more chapter and an epilouge left. :)
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