Hermione and I had an unspoken truce, to never bring that conversation up again. You have no idea how I would have liked to give her the silent treatment, but I couldn’t. There were four reasons why:
1) I’m PMS
2) I don’t think I can handle her emotionally breaking down.
3) She has got really good study notes.
4) She’s my best fr- okay, she’s my sister.
Aren’t I all really fricken adorable?
For the whole of the next two weeks, I hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep. It was like I tried too hard to sleep, that I couldn’t. I wanted to see if I’d dream the same dream with the same song. But I couldn’t. I was just an insomniac. Though, shemione was under the impression that I was only having trouble sleeping because I was worried about the exams. Bull Sh- bull sheep. That’s what I was going to say.
Pretty much, to explain how I was acting I’ll make a list:
I’d been laughing hysterically to the point of bawling my eyes out.
I’d started bursting into tears in different lessons because I couldn’t understand the easy work.
I’d not felt hungry, but then I’d just start eating a lot all of a sudden, and get in trouble. I’m assuming I only got in trouble because I’d start eating blocks of chocolate in the middle of my potions class while crying my eyes out.
I’ve got issues.
McGonagall noticed I was being a complete emotional weirdo, so she made Madam Pomfrey give me some random purple dreamless sleep thing, but it didn’t work because I’m Willow, and I’m a lemon.
I was singing Adele to myself, and listening to breakup songs to make myself cry.
Let’s just say it wasn’t pretty.
“They can’t even help,
They can’t even see,
You’re gonna be dead as dead can be.
You won’t have a soul,
You won’t have a heart,
You’re gonna be all torn apart.
You’ll always forget,
You’ll let your mind drift,
Don’t want to remember that death is your gift.
No one will know,
No one will think,
You’ll be forgotten in just one blink,
You’ll have to go,
You have to be precise,
No one will know your sacrifice.”
I gratified the poem thing onto a piece of paper, during a particularly boring History lesson.
I STILL CAN’T SLEEP!
AND IT’S LIKE THE SONG IS PLAYING ON REPEAT IN MY HEAD!
I’m calm. It’s okay.
Everything is fine.
"You’re gonna be dead as dead can be.”
OKAY! I FRICKEN GET IT! I UNDERSTAND!
I’LL DIE!
WHO CARES!
I DO NOT GIVE A SINGLE POO!
EVEN LLAMAS CAN’T CHEER ME UP!
I WANT TO SLEEP!
“Harry, do you think I can still resign?” Ron’s voice swam into my head, and I looked around, suddenly being weirded out as I found myself in the common room.
“Ron, don’t be stupid. You’ll do fine.”
“You know I’m rubbish. I can’t save a bloody shot.”
Are they talking about Quidditch?
I DON’T CARE!
“Yeah you do.” Lucy Informed. “Keep listening.”
Kay.
“Oh, you’re my muffin Ronald.” Harry said, flicking his hair in a feminine way.
“Stop it Harry,” Said Ron, blushing profusely. “You’re my little cupcake.” And the pair giggled like two little girls.
“I think I’m gonna be sick.” I said thickly, looking at the pair of them.
I’ll tell you what, this is probably a hallucination.
“What did you say Willow?” Hermione asked me.
“I’m sleepy mummy; can you put me to bed?” I said adorably, because I’m adorable.
And Hermione gave me this deranged smile as she took me to our dorm and put me to bed.
Here’s where it got exciting.
I FELL ASLEEP!
--------
The next day, I woke up at about noon, and there was like no one around. At all. I found a note from Hermione explaining how everyone had gone to watch the Quidditch match, and that she left me asleep so I would stop singing adele to her, and calling her mummy.
But now I was reenergised, and had a new found hate for Umbridge that I’d forgotten during my restlessness.
So, and trust me guys, you’re gonna love this.
I grabbed a spray can, and covered my nose with a hoodie, and ran up to my first victim, Umbridge’s classroom door.
And I did the most awesome thing I could think of. I used my red spray paint, and put the word ‘Dumble’ on the door.
How Fricken funny am I?
Well, I would be, if my words even resembled words.
I changed tact, and looking less badarse, and used my wand to burn it into the door.
My second attempt was just as tedious.
FAIL WHALE!
Ick, I’m never saying that again.
I said ick?
Umm...
So the new idea I had, was to pull out my smexy biro, and write it on the door.
THAT’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!
Suddenly, I heard a cackle of peeves, and then a bunch of card board letters came out of nowhere. And they were huge!
“Thank you peeves.” I called to him as I started to magically stick them to the doors.
This is too much effort...what’s a spell I can cast to do every door in the school at once?
“INCOMMODUS UMPONS!” Which I thought meant something like “Annoy Umbridge” in Latin, (because I’m Willow, and today I know Latin) while it actually means “Awkward Umpons” but that too, didn’t seem to make much sense. So, I tried again, this time finding “Awkward um Bridge.” So, naturally, I translated it to Albanian, to latin, to French, back to English (where it became “UM to another bridge”) and then back to Latin. From latin, I went to Arabic, Greek, Japanese, Dutch, Albanian, And then I forgot what I was doing. Shall I start again?
Nah, I won’t.
Oh, I forgot to mention it worked.
...Toothpaste.
Anyway, I decided to go down to watch the Quidditch match now that I’ve finished graffitiing the school.
I arrived just in time to see Gryffindors cheering, and Cho Chang throwing her broom on the ground in anger.
Then Ron landed and I ran over to him.
“YOU DIDN’T!” I shouted.
“OH YES I DID!” he screamed back, before a Gryffindor stampede happened. Fortunately for Ron, he was lifted high onto people’s shoulders as they rejoiced.
I, on the other hand, had my toe stepped on.
Then I saw Lee, who very possibly apparated to next to me.
“We’re the lyrics people!” he said loudly, a grin from ear to ear.
“Come again?”
“Weasley is our King,” Lee shouted. “Weasley is our King, He didn’t let the Quaffle in, Weasley is our King . . .”
He looked at me for help, and I laughed out loud.
“Weasley can save anything, He never leaves a single ring.” I screamed.
Then we both knew what to sing.
“That’s why Gryffindors all sing: Weasley is our King. Weasley is our King,
Weasley is our King, He didn’t let the Quaffle in, Weasley is our King . . .”
And because we’re Willow and Lee, everyone started chanting along with us.
I can’t help it I’m so popular.