Trigger warning - Idk my friend told me to put it just in case
The streets of London are full of grey clouds. The sun is no-where to be found. It's cold and misty, bringing the coldness in the houses of England.
Dans POV
I wake up pretty early. Slowly, I turn to my phone the time read 7:12am. The earliest I've ever woken. Nevertheless I climb out of the warmth of the bed and head to the kitchen. I've decided I want to make Phil breakfast in bed. I hum a small tune to myself as I prepare some of Phil's favourite cereal with a smile upon my face. I also make some coffee to accompany the cereal. Once I have done the coffee and the cereal slowly and carefully I place them upon a tray and take them back to the bedroom.
"Phil?" I whisper shaking him carefully. No repose. "Phil...?" My heart drops in my chest as I rush over to his side. His eyes are closed. He's a lot paler then normal. I place my hand on his arm. Cold to the touch. My heart stops in my mouth. "PHIL!!" I scream at the top of my lungs as tears stream down my face. I shake him uncontrollably, desperately trying to wake him. Nothing works. I wrap my arms around him sobbing into his cold lifeless body. "Please come back!" My heart is pounding as I speak.
He's gone. He's gone and it's my fault. I finally get the courage to pick up the phone and dial 999.
"Hello what is the operation service you require?" The lady on the other line says calmly.
"I... I don't know.... my boyfriend he's....he's dead!" I sob down the phone "he's dead and it's all my fault!" I carry on to sob. "I should have stayed awake with him! I should have cared for him more! But no I fell asleep and ignored him! It's my fault he's dead!!" I sob more screaming down the phone. I couldn't help it.
"Sir calm down ,we are sending an ambulance to your address," she seems so calm yet she has a 25 year old man screaming at her in tears. "They should be near now ," she carried on to talk. I still sob uncontrollably not able to stop myself. My Philion has gone.
"O-okay," I calm myself down so I am no longer screaming at her. At his point I can now hear sirens in the background. My heart is still pounding in my chest as the paramedics come in. They let themselves in with defibrillator. They move over to Phil and set up the machine. Tears start to re-steam down my face as they have an attempt to restart Phil's heart. One attempt. Nothing. Two attempts. Nothing. Third attempt. Nothing. Tear run fast down my face. "Phil!!" I scream. A paramedic rushes over to my side to calm me. I violently push them out the way and run to Phil's side. More tears stream down my face. Before leaving me in the room without Phil.
The room feel cold. More tears rush down my face. His room isn't the same without him. The cereal and the coffee just lay on the bedside, looking at his favourite cereal makes my sob more. "I can't do this without you Phil, p-please come back!" My heart hurts in my chest as I pull out his laptop and upload it he video he has saved privately under the title 'goodbye guys,' I start the to watch the video.
"Hey guys, if your watching this, it means I have passed. If some of you don't know I've recently been in the hospital and a few days ago we got a call from the doctor saying I wasn't going to live the rest of the month. Dan said he would upload this video to my YouTube channel when I have gone. The date today is 4th January, just so you know how many days this was filmed before I passed. I love every single one of you Philions. You made my life better. You watching this are beautiful, don't let anyone tell you differently," I notice the tear in his eye which brings more tear upon my face. "Goodbye my Philions, we will meet again. In a different land," I can't stop myself tears flood the ground around as I click upload to the video and close the laptop down.
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A week. A week passed before the funeral of Philip Micheal Lester. I slept in his room leaving mine untouched. I haven't left the house. I haven't been on social media. I've just cried even when all the tears are gone I still cry. But today, today I have to go out and go to his funeral. Face all his family and friends. That it's my fault he died. My fault he has passed. My fault their angel has returned to heaven.
Cautiously, I climb out of the bed sheets of the blue and green checkered bedding. I return to my room and start looking for a suit. I suit I will join Phil in. Today is the day I finally see my angel once more. For the rest of eternity. I tie my leather looking tie around my neck and put on my shoes. I return back to phils room and stare into the room. "I will be with you soon Phil. Don't you worry my angel." I smile a week smile before exiting the apartment.
As I step out a fan runs up to my and hugs me. She starts to sob into my arms. "I'm sorry about Phil. " are her words. They are as clear as day even behind the sobs.
"It's not your fault. Anyway I will be reunited with my angel soon. Take care danosaurs!" I give a weak smile before climbing into the taxi. I tell the driver which church to go to. She just gives me a sympathetic smile. "Thank you," my voice is weak as I try and stop my self from crying again. She nods as I climb out.
Once at the church I am faced with a sad looking bunch of youtubers. Louise. Zoe. Alife. And so many more. I walk straight past them and head inside the church. I take a seat and watch as everyone files in. Once again I make no eye contact. My heart pounds in my chest as the vicar talks. I take nothing in. I don't even notice when everyone has left until I'm alone. Me and the coffin. I walk over and place a kiss upon the coffin. My eyes filling up and over flowing.
"Dan?" Louise re-enters the church and comes to me. "They need you to leave the church so they can burry him, and you can leave flowers," her voice is so calm. I just nod and she exits.
"I will be with you soon angel," I whisper and exit. I ponder over to where everyone is standing with a hole in the ground and a grave at the head reading. 'Philip Micheal Lester, Beloved son, Boyfriend and friend. Was such an angel to the world. Will be dearly missed. January 30th, 1987 - January 5th 2017 aged 29' more tears escape my eyes.
They bring the coffin out and place it into the hole. Slowly they start to cover it back up. The sobs from his family break me. They don't know it was my fault. But I do. I do. I do. Everyone places a blue rose on his grave. Kisses the headstone and walks away. I wait till everyone has left so I'm alone with the gravestone.
"This..." I start. I take a deep breath and try again my heart pounding violently in my chest. "This was the most fun I've ever had," I whispered, leaving a single black rose on top of all the blue roses that already lie covering Phil's grave. This was the point I needed to join him needed too and fast. My plan was set.
I pick out my phone and call Louise. "Hello?" Her voice is so sweet and innocent on the other line.
"Could, could you please take me to Dorset I have a friend staying there and I don't want to stay in the apartment," I hate lying to her but I have to. I have to be joined with Phil.
"Okay!" She agrees and a smile creeps on my face.
When Louise picks me up I put on a smile. The time passes pretty quickly and I smile to her as she drives away.
I start to walk along the Clift side. Looking at the water below before I meet a dead end. Water below me. The tide hits against the rock. It's a long way down. "PHIL I'M COMING!" I yell to the sky. I pull out my phone and post the privately saved video. Once saved I throw my phone into the deeps of the water. In the distance I hear police sirens. Pass Byers must have seen me and informed the police. I turn and see them all approaching me. "I'm coming Phil," is the last thing I whisper before falling back into the sea below...
A/N: Last chapter... I cried not going to lie. This was a really sad ending. I'm sorry friends. My next Phanfic should be more happy when I get ideas. Well for now goodbye friends!
Reminder: Dan and Phil are still alive!