"Are you going out with her?"
Charlie had gone over the words he'd just uttered in his head numerous times. Even then they still sounded like the words of a jealous guy.
"Are you saying I shouldn't?" Patrick asked with a slight smirk.
Charlie drew random lines on the sand, trying his best to avoid Patrick's eyes. "I'm just asking."
"Yeah," Patrick replied.
Charlie stopped drawing for a second, caught by surprise. He wasn't supposed to be surprised, but he couldn't help himself. He'd hoped for a different answer.
"Have fun," he said half-heartedly.
"You are avoiding my eyes," Patrick pointed out.
Charlie shifted slightly on the sand and lifted his eyes only to look at the calm sea before them.
"Charlie!" Patrick said.
"You are delusional," Charlie said.
"Since we kissed you've never looked me in the eye," Patrick said.
It had only been two days. The day after the kiss Charlie hadn't seen Patrick all day, and even though it was normal not to see Patrick on Sundays, Charlie couldn't help but wonder if Patrick was just staying away.
That Monday they hadn't talked much because Charlie was really avoiding Patrick. He didn't want to make a fool of himself. He thought he'd managed to avoid him for the day until Patrick rocked up at Charlie's house and suggested they take a walk by the beach.
So here they were, sitting on the beach sand and watching the sunset. It had been okay until Patrick told Charlie about the latest date his uncle had set him up on.
"I'm not avoiding your eyes. I just don't see why I have to stare into them lovingly like a lovestruck teenager," Charlie said. Sadly, that was what he was.
"Oh so you are not in love with me? I could swear the way you kissed me..." Patrick started teasingly and was cut off by the handful of sand that ended up on his shirt and trailed down to his pants.
"I'm going to get you for that," he said.
Charlie ran but no matter how fast he ran, he couldn't outrun Patrick. Maybe Patrick took his revenge too far. Suddenly Charlie had sand in his underwear.
"Screw you!" Charlie said in frustration.
"Wouldn't you love to do that," Patrick said before he tackled Charlie to the ground and proceeded to put the sand he had in his hand in Charlie's t-shirt.
When he looked up, Charlie was just looking at him. He wasn't squirming anymore.
"Good, stay like that. If you can withstand 5 seconds of my eyes, I'll believe you," Patrick said.
Charlie blushed and immediately closed his eyes. When he opened them however, Patrick's lips were barely a discernable distance away from his.
"You couldn't look at me," Patrick whispered.
"And you think that proves what?"
"That you are head over heels in love with me."
Charlie fake laughed. "I'm...." he didn't get to finish his sentence.
Patrick granted his own heart's desire and obliterated the distance between Charlie's lips and his. Charlie was stunned, but gave in to his love. Their lips moved together. This kiss was quicker than the first one but just as arousing. For a second Charlie forgot how uncomfortable he felt lying on sand with sand in his pants and t-shirt.
"Would it be so bad?"Patrick whispered against Charlie's lips.
"Huh?"
"Would it be so bad falling for me?"
Charlie was about to speak when Patrick totally got off him. He looked to his side and saw a couple walking along the beach in the distance.
He moved into a sitting position, and the boys sat as they had sat previously.
"I...uh...I don't know," Charlie finally said after some silence.
"Do you even like Stefanie?" Patrick surprised him with his sudden question.
He shook his head. "She talks too much and...I've tried, I'm just not attracted to her."
"Why did you say yes?"
"Because...because of you. You kept telling me I was going to be the 40 year old virgin," he admitted.
"Man Charlie, I only pushed you because I thought you'd finally stop hiding it from me."
Charlie's heart could have stopped. Patrick knew all this time?
"I wasn't sure," Patrick said as if he'd heard Charlie's thoughts. "I guess sometimes...the way you looked at me, it's beautiful."
Charlie looked out at the sea. This conversation could only be happening in his head. He was dreaming. It wasn't so far-fetched. He'd had numerous dreams about Patrick because his subconscious just loved torturing him.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I know I wasn't supposed to. You are my best friend...and straight. I..."
"You really think that after I kissed you twice? There are other ways to get you to confess something. I kissed you because I liked...loved doing it," Patrick said.
Charlie gathered the courage to look at his best friend.
"You know I love you and you kissed me willingly, that's a cruel thing to do!" he reprimanded.
"Hey," Patrick said soothingly and grabbed Charlie's hand, "I didn't just kiss you because I love it. I kissed you because I love you. I love you Koala."
"But...those girls?"
Patrick sighed. "None of them appeal to me, that's why there are so many of them. My dad...I haven't told him. He won't understand. I go on those dates, but my heart is with you Charlie."
Charlie moved his hand slightly, placing his fingers in Patrick's and intertwining.
"You could have told me a long time ago," he said.
"I wasn't sure and like you I didn't want to ruin our friendship. You are my best friend."
Charlie's heart swelled up like a balloon. He surprised even himself when he closed the distance between his and Patrick's lips. It was a short kiss, but it meant a lot.
"So what now?" he asked when their lips separated.
"My dad can't know about us, not yet," Patrick said apologetically.
"You'll still go on those dates?"Charlie asked.
Patrick shook his head. "I'll find a way to get out of them. As for you and I, we have to keep this a secret for a while. Think we can do that?"
"Yeah" Charlie nodded.
And that was how he and Patrick ended up "together". Late night movies, walks in the sand, making out in Charlie's room and occasionally in Patrick's room, sweet good morning messages...Charlie thought it was real. Even though it was a secret, Charlie thought every moment of it was real.
It wasn't.
*