Summary: You shouldn't pick up strangers at truckstops...
You definitely should not, then, fall in love with said stranger you picked up at a truckstop.
Warnings: boyxboy, prostitute!Liam, sex, language, mature content
Link:
http://archiveofourown.org/works/4037221?view_adult=true
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Work Text:
This would have been far more complicated if this truckstop hadn't been here. At least I picked a convenient place to run out of gas. It's definitely a chilly night, accentuated by the sharp breeze going through the air, I probably should have worn more than this flannel. While I wait for the truck to fill up I take in the scene of this truckstop, pretty standard. There's quite a few pumps, lit up like daylight, a restaurant, and a convenience store that I will be raiding as soon as the pump clicks. Something across the lot catches my eyes, someone that is. There's a guy by the street, no bags, no car, just him. He looks like he must be waiting for...something? Or nothing...? You never can tell these days. He must be freezing, I feel like I can see him shiver from here.
Niall, you can't be seriously considering what I think you're about to consider, I tell myself. Shit, he can't be much older than me, he seems harmless enough from here, let alone gorgeous, but that's neither here nor there. Here's what I'll do. I'll go inside and get myself some snacks, if he's still here when I get out then I'll offer him some snacks. Yes, that sounds reasonable, that sounds like a way to be kind and avoid being murdered in case that's his thing.
I made sure to take my time inside the store, spending a few extra careful minutes at the crisps and after spending far more than I should have--one can never be too prepared--I head out and my eyes land in one place first to see that he's still there. Well, I'm a man of my word, and he still looks cold.
I walk over towards the increasingly good-looking guy and realize that I should probably tone down the cheer in my step; but as I approach him my heart beats faster on its own. I can't deny that I am extremely attracted to his slightly baggy ripped jeans, combat boots, white vest and leather jacket, which seems to be more for fashion than purpose. Not to mention his beautifully styled hair, plump, very suckable bottom lip and sinfully beautiful eyes. Not that that's what I walked over here for. When it's already too late, I realize, I'm stopped right in front of this work of art, staring.
He quirks an eyebrow after I fail to say ANYTHING for far too many awkward seconds. "Can I help you mate?" He says with a smooth, yet seductive voice and I'm done. There's no defense here.
"Um...yeah?" I ask. "Yeah," I confirm. "I ran out of gas and pulled over at this truck stop and while I was filling up I noticed you out here and it's pretty cold tonight and you looked cold, and I said if I went inside and got snacks and you were still out here I would come over and offer you snacks so I went in and I spent a lot of time at the crisps just to make sure and then I came out and you were still out here and..." I still haven't taken a breath when he interrupts me.
"Whoa mate, slow down there, you're turning all red. You came over here to offer me some carefully thought out crisps?"
I'm a dumbass. He may as well have said 'You're a dumbass.' I change my plan of action. "It didn't sound that daft in my head." That didn't help my argument. He laughs at me.
"Well...?" He pauses.
"Niall." I respond.
"Well, Niall. Thank you for the nice thought of crisps but I think that I'm actually ok for right now," and he turns away to face the street again, still seemingly waiting for something/nothing. I should take that as my mission being completed. I came here out of the kindness of my heart to offer him some food and he politely declined, my job here is done.
"What about dinner?" Shut up Niall. I squeak in surprise at what my own voice betrayed me and said.
He slowly turns again, "Excuse me, Niall?"
Ok, I can do dinner, dinner makes sense. "What if we went over to the restaurant and I bought you dinner. Nothing weird or anything, just something to get you out of the cold. Unless whatever you're waiting for is going to be here soon, then I understand. But if it's not, you might as well come inside with me, I'm starved."
"You want to take me in there for some steak and eggs?" He chuckles, I'm sure at my expense, but I'm in too deep and can't be bothered with that right now.
"Um, yeah. If that's what you'd like. Or a parfait. Whatever you want."
"Big spender," he says under his breath, and I'm about done with this snarky attitude.
"Look mate, I just saw you out here, I thought you looked cold and thought I would ask if you wanted some company, heat, and dinner. My mistake for trying to be nice," I say, very sternly I might add, and turn around to leave.
"Wait, Niall. I'm sorry. You're serious aren't you?"
I look at him incredulously. "Yeah I'm serious. Why would I not be serious? Are you coming or what?"
He shakes his head, probably at the both of us and replies, "Yeah, mate, I'm coming."
At dinner, if you want to call it that at midnight, we are sat in relative silence.
"What's your name?" I realize I definitely didn't get his at any point.
"Liam," he responds.
"Liam," I repeat to myself. "Nice name."
"Thanks," he says a bit sarcastically. He's lucky he's good looking because so far he's been a bit of an arse.
I'm not good at silence, I've never been good at silence and I'm nervous and awkward. So in an attempt to ease one of these things, I start talking, I don't stop. I find myself talking about every ridiculous story I can think of, including the hound that tried to have sex with the chicken. Should I have gone into graphic detail on that one? Probably not. At this point am I probably rambling? Absolutely. Is there anything I can do to stop it? I'm in too deep to even attempt. I dare to look up at Liam when I've sufficiently picked through my pancakes and see him looking at me with something that looks like disbelief. That's better than earlier when he was all nonchalance and unforgiving stares.
He interrupts me midsentence while I was discussing a game of hide and seek I tried to play with the donkeys. "You're for real right now aren't you?" I'm a bit taken aback. "Like, this isn't an act at all. You really are this crazy?"
Oh... I'd rather not take this as an insult so I laugh. "Nah, mate. Can't make this stuff up. This is me, 100% genuine right here." He laughs into his coffee and I swear I hear him say 'cute,' with which my eyes go wide and I have to look down in hopes he doesn't see me go as red as a tomato.
"You don't do this often do you?"
"Do what? Pick up strangers at truckstops to try and make sure they don't freeze to death?"
"And then tell them about the time you walked in on grandma self pleasuring with one of the farm tools?"
Oh my gosh, I must be heavily medicated, I can't believe I told him that story. "No, that's not a story I tell just anyone Liam."
"So I'm getting the good stuff then?" He says behind a smile, and he hooks his ankle with mine.
"Only the best," I say with my megawatt smile, and enjoy the smile that Liam returns.
I realize that it's almost 2 AM and driving home tonight would not be the best move for me. So in another move of idiocy... "Do you have anywhere to go tonight Liam?"
And as he chokes on his coffee I think that this may have been the wrong move to make. "Um...?"
I cut him off. "I'm a bit too knackered to drive home tonight so I was planning on getting a motel, and I wanted to see if you wanted to join." And I add, like a knob, "no funny business necessary."
A smirk appeared on his face that I'm not sure I want to know the reason for. "It's not necessary but...?" Which releases another speak from my soul.
We walk into the shoddy motel room and I turn the lights on, dropping the overnight bag I had in the truck. "Well it's not that bad for one...."
I don't get the chance to finish my sentence because Liam pushes me against the door with the strength I knew he had in those beautiful biceps and immediately attaches his lips to mine. Without a second thought I kiss back, and in no time, our tongues make contact in a harsh and hardening matter. Liam has me pinned to the door with his hands on my hips and I make use of my hands by rubbing the stubble on his chin and his neck. Before I can even get into a groove or make a coherent thought Liam moves his lips down my neck and I can't help, nor do I want to, the moans that escape my mouth. I have no control in this situation. Instead I have this muscular, strong man playing with me like I'm a toy, and I don't mind this. I love this, I'm his to control. He takes off my shirt and continues roaming my body with his hands, as his lips move lower and lower until he is on his knees, which is a breathtaking sight. He undoes my belt with purpose, and before I know it my pants are dropped and his mouth is on my thigh leaving bites and marks I will make sure to enjoy the look of tomorrow. With that beautiful tongue, he licks a big stripe up my achingly hard cock and... "Fuck, Liam!"
I hear him chuckle that smug laugh of his and I look down with a creased brow. In a fit of want and lack of control I choke out, "no more teasing." I take my hand in his hair and push him onto my cock. I hear him groan in pleasure and see him take both hands to unbutton his own jeans while bobbing his head up and down on my length. I can't look at this anymore, I won't last at all.
"Liam, I'm so close. Stop for a second, I want to..." I can't finish this sentence, I don't know how to finish this sentence without sounding desperate. He pulls off me and looks up, hair a mess from my fingers, lips slick from my precome and everything screaming messy from me.
"Tell me babe," he says in a cock-ruined voice, while leaving kisses on my thighs, on my hips, around my stomach. "What do you want?" It takes me a second to respond, just taking in the sights.
"Fuck, Liam. I want to fuck!" As I look down at his smile and his eyes, I realize that he could ruin me, can't-walk-tomorrow ruin me, and that seems to be exactly what I want. I want this to last as long as possible even if I know I won't last long at all. "Liam, fuck me."
He gets up and takes me to the bed. "As you wish princess," he says, as he pushes my naked body onto the bed like a rag doll.
As I watch him strip with ease and sensuality, I can't help but blush at the idea that I'm about to be taken over by him. Sure, I know my way around a female, or I've stumbled my way around a female, but I am so excited by what is to come. Or the way I'm about to come.
"I take it you haven't done this before," Liam speaks me out of my stupor.
"No, I haven't."
"Don't worry, I'll make it good for you, baby." He climbs in between my legs and placed his hands on either side of my head. He lowers down so his lips graze my ear lobe.
"I'll open you up nice and slow with my tongue and fingers and just when you think you can't take it anymore I'll ease my thick, hard cock in you. And when you're ready, I'll fuck you so hard you won't know how you lived so long without it."
"Yes, Liam."
He kisses me fiercely again, as everything has been and moved down my body. I remember what he said about his tongue and hope that everything is kosher down there. He pulls my legs apart with purpose. "Mmm, so pretty baby, I can't wait to be inside of you." And I can't help blushing all over, I'm sure it's turned me as red as a tomato.
He ducks down and I gasp when I feel his rough tongue lick up, covering my hole. It takes a bit of adjusting to, but between the licks, the thrusts and him fucking his tongue in and out, I could really get used to this. He spreads me a little farther using his hands and continues to thrust his tongue in and out.
"Fuck, Liam. That feels so good," I moan out as I push into the intrusion. I think that I could get off from this alone. It feels so good and I find myself bringing my own hands down my body to feel my skin and how soft it is. I find my hand on my cock and ugh, this is amazing.
Liam, slaps my hand away, "not yet, baby. It's my job to get you off." He takes a small bottle of lube from...somewhere and slicks up three fingers. He pushes one finger in and immediately curves and finds something that sets off a spark of pleasure that I've never felt before. "There it is," he laughs to himself.
After fucking myself on three fingers... "Liam, fuck, I'm ready. Just fuck me already. I want you inside of me, I want to come from your cock."
"Mmm, I wouldn't have pegged you for a talker, a bit dirty aren't you?" He smiles as he slips on a condom that also appeared out of nowhere. He moans as he slicks himself up and then I feel him push into me. It hurts, well burns for a bit. But finally I settle in and I'm ready for this, for him.
"Move. Shit, Liam, move." He starts to move, slowly but with purpose and it's incredible. "Harder, Liam! I said I wanted you to fuck me." He listens, and goes harder, until the headboard is slamming against the wall and we are both moaning--well, I'm shouting obscenities. As Liam rocks into me, he brings his mouth to mine. But we can barely kiss; we don't have the focus to kiss. Instead, we pant into each other's mouths, as I feel the grip in my lower stomach, the release that's coming. I want to hold out, but with the way Liam is pounding into me there's nothing I can do. And after three more thrusts, I come all over my stomach--the hardest orgasm I've ever experienced. Liam comes a few thrusts later, which I can tell by the moan he releases, the grip that he tightens, the eyes he clenches shut.
After he releases he places his hands on the sides of my head again and we catch our breaths together. I run my hands down his back and sides and I think that I could spend every night like this, with him like this, but it's a bit too soon to tell him this. As I settle in for the count Liam gets up, still without speaking a word and goes to the bathroom. As he leaves I smile to myself as I note the red marks down his back and the fingermarks on his hips. I may not be the only sore one tomorrow. After a few minutes, the sound of the toilet flushing and running water, he comes back with a wet towel and cleans me up while giving me a few more of those kisses I didn't realize I missed so much already. He does seem to leave these kisses a bit smugly as he realizes I'm reaching for him and these kisses.
After cleaning himself off, Liam gets up and starts to clothe himself again. This is the last thing I want right now.
"But I really did mean you could stay the night. That wasn't the point of bringing you here."
Liam was very nonchalantly, and while looking down to zip his jeans "That'll be extra."
"What? Extra what? The room is already paid for."
He chuckles to himself for some unknown reason. "No, you'll have to pay me extra for me to stay the night."
"Why would I pay you at all...?"
The realization hits...
"The fuck?!?! Liam, what the fuck?! What just happened here?!?! Tell me you're not saying what I think you're saying!"
He quirks up an eyebrow as he looks at me, pants low on his waist, tight boxer briefs peeking out, no shirt. Focus, Niall. "That I'm a prostitute, and you owe me for my services? That's exactly what I'm saying."
"You're a fucking what?! Pay you for...?! I'm sorry...this is obviously a joke." I laugh out nervously as I try and fail to put my boxer briefs back on. I can't have this conversation naked. He can't be serious. But of course that's my life. That my first time with a man, and the best sex I've ever had was with a prostitute.
"Are you really that naïve? Did you really not know what was happening?"
"Yes, Liam, I apparently am that big of a dumbass!" I yell. "I thought I was being nice, just helping some guy out at the truckstop so he didn't have to go cold and hungry tonight and yes, of course this is how it turns out. He takes advantage of me, thinking that what? That I thought I was running some sort of game. Liam, do I look like I have any level of fucking game?!?! I only came off of the farm tonight to go to the city for supplies in order to get food for the animals and this is what I ran into?!?!" Liam apparently finds this funny "This is not fucking funny you asshole! Fuck, whatever." I say exhausted from this yelling. I sit back down and rub my hands down my face. "How much do I owe you?"
"$500."
"You've got to be shitting me," I say under my breath. "Fine, I guess the animals are going to go hungry so I could get off tonight. Great, I'll have a great time explaining that to my dad. First class, high end business you run here." I continue to say under my breath as Liam leans up against a dresser, fully clothed and watching me as I run around saying these things under my breath.
I take out my wallet and in what I felt was a rough gesture hand Liam the money. Apps it was petulant but not rough enough because he chuckles at me. "Well, get back into bed."
"What?" Liam says with a lifted brow.
"I said that you could stay with me tonight and I meant that. You're not going back out there tonight. I'll pay."
After a few seconds of thinking this over, "You're a piece of work aren't you?" He says in genuine wonder while pulling his shirt back off.
"Whatever, I need some air." I say as I put my jeans, t-shirt and plaid overshirt on. "Try not to hustle anyone else while I'm just outside of the door."
Liam scoffs as I walk out the door.
After a few minutes in the chilling air, I hear the door open behind me and see Liam come up and stand next to me.
"You really had no idea?"
"Of course I had no fucking idea, Liam."
"I thought you were just playing cute."
"I wasn't playing anything Liam, I was trying to be a nice person."
"I forget that those exist out in the world sometimes." He says more to himself than to me.
In bitterness, I reply "Well, when we encounter situations like this, it's when the good ones go bad."
He nods. "Aren't you a bit cold out here?"
"Colder in there than it is out here."
"I deserve that."
"Yep." I say with an extra pop of the 'p'.
"Look, I was just doing my job, just trying to make a living like anyone else."
I look over at Liam, who is looking very contemplative out into the parking lot. "Really glad I could be your job for the night, Liam."
"Niall..." And it's the first time I've heard him use my name since I told it to him. "I didn't mean to do any harm, you are a sweet guy. I really thought you knew what you were doing. When I pick up these jobs, I'm not trying to take advantage of anyone. They get what they need, I get what I need. It just happened to be a perk that you were cute, nice, innocent, not 45 years old and have a great body." He says with a smirk. "Tonight I got more than just the money," he says as he looks down again. "Thank you, it's been a long time since it's been about anything more."
All I can do is nod. "C'mon Liam, it's cold." I grab his hand and lead him inside.
I close the door behind us and note that I'm still holding his hand, and he's still gripping mine. I'm not sure where to go from here. I'm not sure what the protocol in this situation is, I do know that I enjoy being around Liam, or I did before I realized what was happening. I'll just go with what I would've done in that situation. I turn around and look into an equally as lost in this situation set of eyes. "Do you want to see what's on TV? Maybe we can find a terrible movie, or laugh at horrible porn?"
Liam chokes on a laugh.
"Oh, porn...right. Ignore me, I'm an idiot."
"Cute though." He says as he pulls me into him by our locked hands. He moves my hand intertwined with his up and around his neck and wraps his arm around my waist. We are so close that if it was before I would lean up and go for round two. But I don't have another $500, nor can I take another hit to my ego that says when all is said and done, it would be just another order of business for him. As he inhales, and tilts his head in towards mine I pull away nervously.
"Right, TV." And I look back to see Liam rubbing the back of his neck looking a bit--shy?
I find the remote and I'm not strong enough of a person to walk right by Liam and lay on the bed. I grab him and he comes willingly. We settle in next to each other with a very thick tension between us; the nerves of two 16-year-olds who are alone for the first time in his parents house and don't know what to do about it, rather than the nerves of an experienced worker and couple who have already been very, very intimate, very, very recently. I see Liam smile, more to himself, seems like. I wonder if it's because he feels the tension too. I wonder if he likes it.
"This is different," He breaks the silence.
"What do you mean?"
"It's very different for me."
"Care to elaborate?"
"This feels very...I don't know. I'm used to very direct and to-the-point, get-in get-out actions. But here we are, sitting on a bed, watching cartoons and...I'm kind of nervous."
"Why are you nervous?" I dare to look over to him and catch his eyes looking back at me.
"Because I'm not used to not knowing what to do." He smiles.
"Do what you would like to do."
"I worry that if I do that, you would think I was trying to get something out of you again. I don't want you to feel like I'm using you."
"What exactly is it that you'd like to do Liam?"
"Well, right now I'd like to put my arm around you. But not because I want to coerce you into something or because I want any more money out of you but because I'm genuinely attracted to you and like the way you feel next to me."
I feel my face heat up at the admission. "Then you should put your arm around me," I say as I move closer to him. Liam smiles as he lifts his arm and puts it around my shoulders. I have to remind myself to breathe but unfortunately I have to remind myself what this is, who he is. Fuck, I like the way he feels next to me too, but is any of it real?
__
I wake up with my upper half cold and exposed. I also note that I've woken up alone, which is not how I fell asleep last night. If I remember correctly, which I do because I made sure to ingrain it into my memory, Liam and I fell asleep curled into each other in a manner that is only reserved for people who care about each other. Not a sex worker and his job for the night. I can promise you, with sincerity, it didn't feel like a job by the end of the night, not after we stayed up way into the early morning talking and laughing and wearing down armor. But as I realize how alone I currently am, maybe his armor was thicker than I had originally gauged.
As I get up to continue the original mission I had set out for and gather my things I try to pretend and tell myself I'm not looking for a note but let's be honest, I didn't leave either of my socks in the drawer of the nightstand. After I've combed every inch of this motel room and seen far more questionable things than I would have liked, I have to realize the obvious, it didn't mean anything and he's genuinely gone, left without a second thought. I try to leave without a second thought as well but somehow those big brown eyes are all I see.
All week, every day, I try to get him out of my head. I try to stop dreaming, day and night about the muscles, and the moans and the delicious burn that I felt for days but I can't shake it. Chock it up to great sex, I wish I could. But even worse I can't shake the conversations we had, the favorite parts of the movies we watched, the rare but beautiful laughs, and the tone of his completely sex removed voice. Because of this, I find myself right back at the truckstop next weekend ready to pull out all the stops if it will get me a conversation with him again.
As I drive up, I see him in the exact same spot I found him last weekend. It is a bit warmer out so he is in a fitted black t-shirt with jeans slung low on his hips with his boxer briefs peeking out from below. He's so gorgeous that I can't help but think back to how those muscles felt on top of me, the way they flexed under my hands but I have to remember that isn't the goal. As crazy as I am, I think I could have something with him, something bigger than the job. I don't encounter a lot of people, sure, but the way that we connected, sex aside, felt real, and it felt like something worth pursuing.
I debate whether I should drive up or park and walk up to him, driving up to him may be a bit better in this situation. I pull up to where he's standing, passenger side facing him and roll down the window as he approaches. He leans up against the window, chevrons that I remember licking on full display and he starts his emotionless pickup line, "Lonely ma...." And changes the course of his sentence in recognition "....Niall?!"
My eyes are averted up to his and I can't read the tone of his voice. "Hi." I wave with a sheepish smile and averting my eyes to the empty truck seat next to me.
"What are you doing here?" I can't tell if he's nervous or annoyed that I'm in front of him again.
"Um...I wanted to see you again?" Not meaning to end the phrase with a question mark.
This time his response is distinct annoyance. "Ah, you wanted me to fuck you again? Realized that you weren't above it all like you thought. You know what? I'm not interested, I don't need the money that badly tonight, not enough to be at your beck and call." And I realize that it's not annoyance, it's hurt. The one person he thought was good just came back to pay for it because at the end of the day, he's still just a human sex toy.
"Liam! No, shit no that's not it! I, fuck! All week I've been thinking about you! I was absolutely gutted when you weren't there when I woke up last weekend because I thought that I was something more than a job and realized that I really wasn't. But I haven't been able to get you out of my head, Li. Not just because of the sex but because of you, genuinely because of you. Because of your rare laugh, your smile, the conversation, the way I felt in your arms, the sleep I got being next to you, and if I'm honest yes, because of how I came undone with you. I know it was stupid of me to come here but I had to try Liam. I want you again, whatever it is that you want to give me. If I'm just a job then I'll pay Liam, and we don't even have to have sex I just want to be around you. I will take you out to dinner or we can just stand here all night but Liam I want to be around you, I can't get you out of my head so I need you, in whatever capacity I can have you."
Liam hesitates with an eyebrow raised again, an all too familiar eye raise. "You'll pay me $500 to stand here and talk to me all night?"
I don't hesitate. "Yes Liam, fuck yes. In a heartbeat." And I move to take out my wallet as he laughs.
"That won't be necessary, I believe you."
"Does that mean...?"
"I'm yours for tonight, you pay, you get me."
I know it's so wrong but I'm so excited by this, my fucking heart hurts.
He opens the truck door and gets in, "Where to?" He asks.
"Um, I actually don't know. I hadn't gotten that far when I planned this all out." I look down at my hands in my lap knowing I'm 6 shades of red right now.
He laughs. "Can I drive?"
"What?" My head shoots up to shoot him a questioning glance.
"I know a place. It's a nice night, it's a nice place."
Right now Liam could ask for my social security number, address and keys to my house, my first born and really anything else and I'd gladly give it to him. Asking to drive doesn't seem like that big of a request.
We drive for a few minutes, through the night, through places I didn't know exist. With anyone else the quiet would have been awkward, but with Liam it fits. The night sky, the stars, the open space, his hand reaching out to rest on my knee with a small smile between us. I could do this all night and still be perfectly happy.
He parks us at the top of a hill, where all I can see ahead of us is night and meadows and where all that matters is Liam. This is certainly better than the motel room I would have rented for us again. I'm stuck in pause when he finally speaks, "Don't you want to get out?"
I answered in a slow drawl I didn't know I had. "Yeah...yeah that sounds nice. This is beautiful."
"Yeah, a job brought me up here once." And I had almost forgotten what he does. Almost. But he continues, "I always thought it would be nice to bring someone else up here." And the someone who means a bit more goes unsaid but I sure hope I heard it in there somewhere.
We get out of the truck and I head to the back to find something. "Um, Niall...are you ok back there?"
"Yeah, I was just looking for....found it!" I raise my hand in triumph. Really, all I had found was a hopefully fairly clean blanket for us to relax on.
I look at Liam after I've set the blanket out on the ground and it could be the darkness but I hope I'm reading his expression correctly as something with a bit of fond.
"Sit, Li." I say with a bit of confidence as he sits next to me, both facing out over the hill with our legs stretched out, thighs touching.
"This is sweet Niall," he says quietly.
"No, I just didn't want you to get your pants dirty and all," I respond quietly.
"Did you really think about me all week? And not just the sex."
"I did," I confirm.
He nods and stays quiet for a couple moments and responds on his own, "I thought about you too."
Not knowing what to do with that and where to go with it I changed the subject, to what I don't even remember. We talk about everything, again, for what had to have been a couple of hours until Liam leans his head on my shoulder and I abruptly stop in the middle of my sentence. Instead of continuing, I bring my hand up and start to card my fingers through his hair, missing the contact. I remember again how nice it feels to be so close to him and his lovely scent.
He looks at me, making me think that he feels the pull as well and leans up while averting his eyes to my lips. He's so fucking smooth that I almost can't stop it as his lips come closer to mine.
"Liam...we...fuck Liam, we shouldn't," I can barely get out between trying to breathe but I can't lie, I want it so bad, I want him and everything he is so bad. I only want him more as the night goes on and as I watch little pieces of armor float away in the breeze.
"Why?" He pants out, voice laced with the same want I'm trying to shake right now.
I pull myself together enough to make a coherent sentence. "Because that wasn't what this was about. I care about you. I'm not here to fucking get off again. I just want to spend time with you."
"You're going to pay either way aren't you?"
"Of course."
"So what's the harm?"
"I don't want you to think that's what I'm here for. I'm here for you."
"Fuck Niall, I know." He sits up as he finishes his sentence. "I know that you're here for all of me. But fuck Niall, I don't want people. In my line of work, I've trained myself to not want anyone or anything and I can't help but want you. I want you so fucking much so forget about it all and show me that you want me too." And this is an argument that in my clouded state of mind I can't refute. I take his cheek in my hand and kiss him, I kiss him with so much emotion that my brow is creased hoping that I can telepathically tell him what he means to me.
I gently lower him to his back and cage him in with my body the same way he was on top of me last weekend. I didn't plan on things going this way but if he wants to feel, I'm going to make sure that he feels me through every inch of his body.
I move to kiss his neck and I'm interrupted by my own moan when his strong hands pull me in to grind on his already hard cock. Even on the bottom he's maneuvering me with his hands on my ass and I hope that he leaves perfect, Liam shaped handprints there.
I suck and lick him apart right above his collarbone just making sure the obscene moans he's making are real. I lift off him long enough to take my shirt off and return immediately to his lips as I move my hands under his shirt up his smooth, warm skin. Suddenly, and roughly, he takes one hand and wraps it in the hair at the back of my head to pull me closer to him to lick even harder into my mouth. I can't believe how close he can get me just from this control he takes. I take his face in my hands and pull him up with me, lips never detaching so I can take his shirt off, only detaching for a second, then we are right back down. Once our skin is touching I have to take a break because of how good he feels. I never thought I'd feel his skin on mine like this again. He reads my mind, "Niall, baby, I'm here. I'm yours." And I wish more than anything it was true but for right now it is and I want to make him feel as good as possible while he's mine. I drag my lips and my tongue down his perfectly defined torso to feel his ragged breaths and take off his jeans and briefs in one movement. "You too," he teases. And I obey all too quickly, removing my own so we are naked with nothing but the moon and the stars covering us.
I rub his thigh with one palm while I nip and suck at the other one feeling Liam's fingers tangle into my hair again. I figure we've both held out long enough and lick my way up to his balls first and then his cock, hearing a sharp gasp from Liam.
"It's been so long Niall. You don't have to..." he says with a shaky breath and I think that with all of the times he's done this, no one has cared enough to make sure he feels good. With that I move my hands to his torso and take his length into my mouth bobbing up and down, fucking loving the taste and not worrying about the way he's guiding my head or moving his hips. "Fuck Niall...so good, this is so good." And I drag my fingers lightly down his body as I pull my mouth so the tip of his cock is all that's left in my mouth and I kiss and lap up the wetness he's created for me. "Niall, baby, wait. I'm so close. I don't want to come like this."
I pull off and in some strange universe where I'm sexy and hoarse and confident I respond, "How do you want to come, Li?" As I kiss and nip at his earlobe.
"Shit babe, not like this either. I want to feel you, I want you inside of me. Fuck me, Ni." I sit fully up while straddling him not quite expecting this answer, and hearing Liam's nervous laugh underneath me. "Yes Niall, I'm sure, I want you to fuck me."
I say nothing in response, instead I find Liam's jeans where I know there is lube and a condom and put them on the blanket. I rip open the lube packet and slick up three of my fingers. As I lean down kissing Liam, I slide in one finger and cut off his gasp. "Babe, you're so tight." There's barely enough space for me to move at all.
"Yeah, well. I haven't exactly been fucked in a while," he says, gripping onto my biceps as I slowly thrust in and out, loosening him up.
It takes a while but after I have three in, Liam wants me and I need him. I pull out my fingers and Liam whines at the loss of contact. I move my hand so it's cupping his cheek and he turns to kiss my palm. "I'm ready baby."
I bring our foreheads to touch while I line up, cock catching on his rim as I push in slowly. I don't know which one of us inhales but I hear one of us take a deep breath that sounds like it's completely laced in pleasure. After I bottom out, Liam and I stay still while I let him adjust. I stay hovering above him, arms braced around his head, looking at his beautiful eyes as he wraps his arms around me and moves slightly as a hint for me to move.
I slowly and only slightly roll my hips to test him and his eyes closing with his lip biting is my response. I start to go a little harder and a little faster, pulling further out and pushing harder in with each thrust. Eventually I can't handle not being closer so I move so one arm is around his neck and I'm supporting myself with my forehead on his and my elbow propped up. Liam's hips rolling now to meet mine, back arching so our torsos meet. "Niall, you feel so good, I've never..." And his moan cuts him off as I find his spot.
His moans, they sound so good in the open air, just me, him, our uneven breaths, moans and slick skin rubbing together.
"Wanna stay here tonight?" I ask, knowing what response I'm going to get but too worn out to worry about it.
"Yeah..." Wait, what?
"Are you going to be here in the morning?"
"Yeah."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
And as we drift off I hear next to my ear so quietly that I don't think I was meant to hear, "What are you doing to me?"
I'd love to tell you that was it. That that was the end of me and Liam and I got him out of my system but really it only wrapped me in him more.
That morning I wake up and he was still there like he promised. I figure he had no other option because I was almost completely on top of him and fully wrapped around him. After a few good morning, babes and a slow easy ride that will still leave me sore, I took Liam back to the truckstop. I offered to take him home but apparently that was too personal and too soon.
I paid Liam for that night, gave him the 500 and all. I even was able to give him my phone number, not knowing if he'd use it but hoping and praying he would. After a thorough kiss goodbye, I made sure to tell him he'd see me again next Friday and he laughed if off but didn't tell me no. I think we are making significant progress here. Especially after I got home and found the 500 in my own jeans pocket.
Liam and I text throughout the week, nothing serious, just things about our day, things about how he got off thinking about me last night, how I'd love to feel his cock on my tongue again, nothing too substantial and after a few weeks of going back to see Liam I realize that I am in deep, to the point of no return.
We are wrapped up in each other at our spot in the hills after the lovely exploration of a new position I could've never imagined, when I realize it's time to try for more. In the heat of it all, the sweat, the come, the scent, Liam, I need more. "Li?"
"Yeah, babe?" He says as he combs his fingers through my hair practically leaving me moaning. "What if I didn't take you back in the morning, what if I took you somewhere else?"
"Are you thinking of kidnapping me?"
"I'd love to actually."
"I might not mind it, where do you have in mind?"
"What if you spent the day with me at my house?" And I immediately regret wanting more as he stiffens and his hand freezes.
"Um...." I hold my breath as I feel him weighing his options. "Yeah...yeah. We can do that." And I kiss every inch of his face with excitement at his answer.
"Jesus Niall, you're like a puppy." He says with a big smile on his face.
"I think you find that refreshing." I say as I find his lips.
"I do." He says more to himself than to me.
The more we drive the more nervous I feel Liam get. I can sense this because his leg starts bouncing and the palm I'm holding gets clammy.
"Babe, you don't have to be nervous." I supply.
"I'm not nervous." He nervously chuckles out.
"Right. So why are you nervous?"
"It's just...it's just that this is so personal right? Your house, the place you live when we aren't together. Like a bigger part of you." He says quietly.
"I think you licking my bumhole is a bit personal too though right Liam? It doesn't get much more personal than that?" I laugh in an attempt to lighten the mood. The glare he shoots at me tells me that this is not the time for that kind of joke.
"Li, you really don't need to worry so much. It's just us. It's just us spending a day together in a different location. There's no pressure. I just want to be with you." I say while rubbing his hand, hoping to offer some sort of comfort.
"I know baby. Just give me some time, I'll loosen up when we get there." And I let him sit in peace for the rest of the drive.
We pull through the driveway of the house and I stop the truck in front. Liam finally lets the laugh through that I could feel him trying to contain for the last 30 seconds.
"Are you laughing at my home right now Liam? This is not a good way to start this day."
"I'm sorry Niall." He chokes out, "It's just, you...you really live on a farm. Like, with a barn and a tractor and all. I thought you just called your house the 'farm' as a term of endearment or something."
I smile at his astonishment, "And when I talked about cows those were just pet names for my parents?"
"Jesus Niall, I didn't know." He's still laughing. "You're a bit strange, I just chocked it up to that."
I laugh with him, "You're kind of daft love, like, exceptionally daft."
"Says the bloke who didn't know he was sleeping with a prostitute the first time." Which is an unintentionally sobering statement.
"Sorry babe." Liam says pulling me in with his arm around my shoulders. "Too soon."
I look up at him and kiss him. "Make it up to me inside."
"I'll make it up to you all over this damn farm Niall. Because it is, in fact, a farm."
I push him off laughing and get out of the truck. We walk up to the door of the main house hand in hand and I notice Liam's sweaty palms. "Don't worry babe, there's no one home today, they all went into the city. Just you and me." I see Liam visibly calm.
It's not that I am embarrassed by Liam, not at all. I'd love for my family to see this beautifully sculpted man I'm lucky enough to be with. I just figured he would already be nervous enough, I shouldn't push it with a large meet and greet of my extremely overwhelming family. I'll try for that next week.
Given this new information, Liam wraps his arms around my waist from behind as we go inside making for a difficult, yet still enjoyable, walk. "What are we going to do today babe?" He asks with his lips touching the shell of my ear causing a shiver down my spine.
"Well, obviously I'll have to give you the grand tour of the farm, we can also feed the animals, then we can..."
"Can we ride the tractor?" Liam squeaks like an excited 12 year old.
"Yes baby, we can ride the tractor."
"Can we do something else first?" Liam asks while sliding his hand under my shirt to touch the skin of my stomach. He kisses down the side of my neck and I lean my head back and rest it on his shoulder to give him better access. He finds a particularly sensitive spot and I gasp as I wrap my arm around the back of his head and grip his hair hard enough to illicit a moan.
"Yeah, we can...we can do anything you want Li. What did you have in mind?" I barely gasp out.
He moves his hand down to the edge of my pants. "I think we should start the tour with your bedroom."
---
I'd rather not drop Liam off tonight after this amazing day we've just had together playing with the horses, riding the tractor, riding each other, and just lounging about, but he insists he doesn't want to be a bother. Liam could live with me at the farm, never leaving at all and it would never be a bother but I figure we should take small steps. Getting him to even spend the day at my house was such a big deal, I should take what I can get.
"Thank you for today Niall, it really meant a lot to me and I had an amazing time, I always do with you." And he says this so shy and only looking at me with small glances behind his small smile.
I take his hands into mine and turn to face him as much as I can while being in the truck. "Thank you for coming Liam, I had a great day too. I really like spending time with you." I lean over and kiss him, nothing too intense, just to reinforce my words. "Maybe we could do it again sometime?"
He sits with his head down for a couple of moments, thinking carefully as he does. "Yeah, I'd like that." He finally says looking up at me with a smile. "I better go though. Bye, babe." And he kisses me a bit longer this time, a little bit more lingering, just so I taste him on my lips after he's gone.
He hops out and closes the door behind him, leaving me with my thoughts. I don't know what's happening between us, I'd like to think it's getting a bit more serious, today was certainly a big step. I'd like for us to become more serious but I have to remember his line of work. I try not to think about it though, Liam being with anyone else, multiple else's the same way he's with me. I'd like to think that it's not exactly the same way, that it means a bit more when he's with me but it all hurts my head too much to think about. I do know that I care about Liam, I'm falling for Liam and I want to be with Liam.
At least I thought I did because I look over towards the direction I know he went and see him leaning over the door of another man's truck. My lucky timing has me looking over in the midst of a kiss, tongue and all between Liam and said man. And shit, everything crashes down as my heart stutters, stops, and breaks into pieces. I can still taste Liam on my tongue so I know damn well he can still taste me, or he could, now that 45-year-old man is tasting me and I can't. Fucking. Do. This.
Liam pulls away from his next job, because we are all just jobs to him, even though I haven't paid him since that first time, and on his way to the passenger side of the car our eyes lock and I hope he sees it. I hope he sees the angry tears spilling out. Am I being reasonable right now? Probably not. I knew what he did for a living, I knew he still slept with other people but I didn't need it in my face right now. There's a difference between knowing and seeing and I can't be with him. I can't be with someone who sleeps with other people, whether it's for money or not. I can't be with Liam.
Before I can read his eyes I look down, turn on the truck and speed away, deciding that I will not be talking to Liam again, it's not worth it. Being in love with him isn't worth it. Waking up in his arms, warm, safe and so happy isn't worth it. Being able to talk to him about anything, laugh with him about anything and do anything with him is not worth it. It isn't worth it because it's not real. I'm very much and completely his but he will never be mine. He put on a good show making me think that maybe he could be but that's all it was, that safe feeling wasn't real, the happiness only temporary.
Hi is all he says, that's all the text says and you know what I respond with? Nothing. It's not worth it. Even though he's all I want right now, it's not worth it. Especially because this text is coming at midnight, after I know he just finished his job, finished sucking someone else off, finished having his cock in someone else. I can't breathe...
Niall....please. Comes 10 minutes later. Please what? What the hell am I supposed to say? Right now I just need to stave off a panic attack.
Baby, I'm sorry....talk to me..... And that's it.
There's nothing to be sorry for Liam. You were just doing your job, always doing your job.
He responds not even a minute later. I'm sure there's something to be said that he's being so attentive right now and trying to make me feel better about all of this but I don't care, no part of me cares. Niall, you are not a job, you are so much more than that.
I don't want to be, Liam. I don't want to be anything anymore. Please leave me alone. And I settle in knowing that that is the last text message, the last contact I will be having with Liam.
Niall, no. Please don't. I'm so sorry.
And I miss everything else, I hear the constant buzzing, hear the phone ring with him calling but I can't do it. I settle in and after 2 more hours of buzzing I finally fall asleep, faintly wishing and knowing it would be so much better in a pair of tattooed, muscled, warm arms but I can't be bothered with that.
I spend days in this torture, missing Liam, thinking about Liam, realizing just how in deep I was with Liam. I also spend days ignoring texts and calls from Liam, pleading for me to talk to him, telling me about how much he misses me, is thinking about me. Somewhere in there, all of his armor was stripped away but unfortunately somewhere in the process I got my own and it's rather impenetrable.
Eventually after a few weeks, the texts stop and I think that would make it better. It should feel better, it should help me heal, get over Liam but unfortunately it only makes me want him more. I miss him so much. I could do it when I didn't see it right? I could do it when I could forget about the other men.
After a month from his last text, it still feels like shit and I'm tempted to return to the truckstop but Liam has probably already moved on, if there was anything he was stuck on in the first place. I haven't heard from him, probably won't again, it is what it is. I wake up for another day of work, a day that is just as dreary as the rest since I've been without Liam and hope that at some point it gets better.
After I've gotten out of the shower and dressed, I hear the doorbell ring. I wasn't expecting anyone so my dad must have forgotten his key since I'm here alone. I make my way down the stairs and see a familiar silhouette through the curtain of the door, it's certainly not my dad's though.
I inhale a deep sharp breath that makes me feel like I haven't had air in my lungs in over a month as I see him. He looks tired, like he hasn't been sleeping either and there's nothing I want more than to take him in my arms and nurse him back to health. Yep, getting over him is getting much better. I realize that neither of us has said anything in the minute since I've opened the door... "Liam...?"
He smiled slightly, probably glad to just hear me respond, "Hi, Niall."
"Wha...what are you doing here, babe?" I stiffen at the slip of tongue while Liam seems to relax slightly.
"So there might be a little bit of hope?" He asks with a small smile.
"Liam, we really shouldn't..."
"Please, Niall, hear me out. Just let me explain, talk to you and if you don't like what I have to say I will leave you alone for good. But please, just give me a chance."
I barely even hear what he has to say. "Fuck Liam. I miss you so much."
"I miss you so much I can barely breathe, Niall. And I wasn't anticipating that. I've never felt like that. I need you, I need you to hear me."
"Okay."
"I saw your face when you saw me with the client and my fucking heart broke Niall. I'm so sorry. I never wanted you to witness that. And I promise that when I was with anyone else, it didn't come close to the way things were with you. All I did with anyone else was think about you. Then I saw your face, and then you wouldn't talk to me and Niall...baby I don't eat, I don't sleep. So I had to make a choice. I had to decide what was worth more to me, you or the job. Which was an easy choice. The job has never been worth anything to me, the money was nice but it didn't compare to the way I feel with you, the way you make me feel. The fact that you make me feel. So I decided to stop talking to you and get my act together and that I wouldn't come back until I had something to offer you, so here I am. With something to offer."
I stay silent trying to take it all in.
"I give you this big speech and you don't even want to know what I have to offer?"
"I do, I'm just...I didn't think I'd ever see you again."
"I understand. And I couldn't handle that so I'm offering you, me. I'm yours and yours alone."
"But your job..."
"Got a new one."
Pardon me while I take a second to put myself back together. "A new job, meaning?"
"I got a bartending gig at a bar while I figure out what I actually want to do, but I made sure that there are no sexual favors in the job description or required for tips so maybe I can get you back now? And sleep and eat again?" He says so adorably, and so sweetly and I can see him putting himself out there and he's all I want and do I actually get to have him now?
"Liam? I want you so bad. Kiss me, fuck, yeah, be mine."
Liam laughs a sigh of relief into the kiss and when he pulls away I laugh as he says, "I'd really love another tour of your bedroom."