If someone would have told me awhile ago that I would be back with Jake again, I would have never believed them. I would've said that I would never forgive him for what he did. Now, I'm sitting right across the table from him as we laugh and talk with each other. You may have thought being with your ex makes things weird but its not actually. It's like we are picking up where we last left off.
Jake convinced me to go get coffee with him after begging. I was hesitant because I knew I looked like shit from crying and getting barley any sleep but he convince me! I took a quick shower and put on his sweat pants and one of his hoodies. Of course they we're really big on me but they felt comfortable and just right.
"I told you that once ou got outside that you would feel better." Jake said with a smile. He was right. I felt better once I got out in the fresh air. It was a little bit cold but the sun made it all worth it.
"Fine." I said admitting defeat. "You were right." He chuckled and then took another sip of his coffee.
"I forgot how much I missed this town. There aren't a lot of loud and noisy people to ruin my day and it's just calm." I smiled. "I wish everywhere I went was like this." I sipped my coffee as well. It was still really hot.
"One of the many reasons I like it here." He said. "The memoires also. I like seeing old places and remembering good times I had there. It makes me feel better sometimes. It just really sucks when the bad memories over power the good ones." I knew what he was talking about.
"Well then I guess we'll just have to make new memories." I said. He looked at me and smiled. I put my hand across the table and he reached for it. Our fingers laced them together.
"Is it possible you can fix just about everything?" He asked with a small laugh. Our gaze broke when he looked up behind me. Then he looked back at me.
"What's wrong?" I asked curiously and then turned around. Cody was walking right for our table and my stomach dropped. I couldn't face him now. I didn't have anything to say.
"Please don't be angry but I texted him and told him you we're here. I wanted you guys to talk." Jake said.
"I told you I didn't want to talk to him Jake!" I said and pulled my hand away from his. I wasn't as mad at I sounded. It was just in the moment I guess.
I got up from my chair and started to walk the other way. I abandoned my coffee and Jake.
"Stage." I could hear Cody saying my name but I kept walking. I heard foot steps running but I didn't feel like running. I had no energy. Cody was then in front of me and stopped me. I looked away from his face. "Please just listen to me. I'm sorr-" I cut him off.
"You have no reason to be sorry Cody. This is all on me." I said still avoiding his eyes.
"But I'm the one who yelled at you. You needed me to be there and I wasn't because I was to-" I cut him off again.
"Yes I needed you to be there but you didn't have to. You were having a good time and my drama shouldn't have interfered with that. You only told me the truth anyway." I wanted to look into my best friends eyes and just hug him. I wanted all of this to go away. I know I hadn't been a very good friend to him but I want to make up for all of that.
"I didn't tell you the truth. It was the alcohol talking. Stage, nothing I said was true!" Cody made an attempt to hug me but I stepped away. I didn't want it to end here before I told him everything. Then he could decide for himself.
"You've been a friend to me and I've not been one to you. You've been dealing with my problems for years just to get nothing from me. My drama consumes half your life and you never said anything till last night and I hate myself for not noticing how terrible I've been to you." I finally managed to look up at his face. He looked like hell. I could tell he hadn't slept and he looked like he had been crying. It broke my heart. "I want you to know that I actually do care deeply about you. I want you also to know that I've been this terrible friend and I wasn't sure if you realized it or not. You have a choice Cody. I'm not going to put you in my drama any longer. You don't have to be my friend." With that said I felt a tear trickle down my cheek and I looked back down again. The last thing I wanted was for him to pity me.
"You aren't a terrible friend. I don't care what you say, you are there for me. I just never am down because I know I have amazing friends and I have a great life. I take care of your drama because sometimes someone can't handle everything on their own. Just telling me you love me is being there for me." I felt Cody's arms then wrap around me and I hugged him back. He actually wants to be my friend. I smiled at the thought. I wasn't going to loose him after all.
"I love you." I said as I held him tight.
He laughed. "I love you too."
He let me go and I felt tears rolling down my cheeks. Cody looked concerned. "There happy tears." I reassured him. I wiped them away and he was smiling.
"I think you need to talk to someone." Cody said as he pointed at Jake who was standing against the wall. I almost forgot he was there.
I walked over to him and grabbed his hand. He looked at me. "I'm really sorry I didn't tell you."
"Don't be sorry. I probably wouldn't have stayed if I knew Cody was coming anyway." I laughed. "You did what was best." I leaned over and pecked his lips.
"Someone mind telling me what's going on?" Cody asked. I turned around and he looked totally confused. He probably didn't even know we were together yet.
_____
Cody got some coffee and we sat him down and told him everything. Unlike anybody else in my life, I knew he would approve. Everyone else was still so stuck on the past and I wanted to move on from that and Cody understood that., but nobody else did. I wanted to start something knew with someone who wouldn't cheat on me, could wait for, and cared about me. I was pretty sure Jake fit that description well.
Cody's face was a huge grin. "I'm so happy for you guys!" He reached over and group hugged us. "I love you guys so much! It doensn't matter what you guys decide, I'll be here for you guys." He sat back in his seat but I could tell he was thinking about something.
"Anything wrong Cody?" I asked him.
Cody just went on smiling. "Nothing, just enjoying the moment." Was he lying?
_____
I eventually had to go home and face my parents. I didn't want to sneak behind their backs and lie to them. I didn't want to have to keep Jake a big secret and be afraid to tell anyone. I would hate if that happened to me.
Jake, Cody, and I stood on the porch of my house. I was a bit nervous because I knew they wouldn't be okay with this at first. I could tell Jake was nervous too.
"Are you sure you want do this now? I mean we just started, we could wait?"Jake suggested. I really wanted to just get it over with right now.
"If I don't do it now, I'm never going to have the courage again. You don't deserve to be a secret." I smiled and pecked his lips.
"I wish you guys luck." Cody said and he leaned back against the house. I knew he probably wasn't coming in. He hated fighting and yelling as it was.
I opened the door and pulled Jake inside by his hand. My dad was on the couch watching TV and he looked over at me but his eyes drifted over to Jake. They widened.
"What the hell is he doing here." My dad said standing up. He said the words bitterly.
I swallowed hard. "I need to talk to you and mom." My dad looked at me with confusion but his eyes looked down at Jake and I's hands that were locked together. I saw the anger build up in his face. He knew exactly what was going on.
"Stage, no." Was all my dad managed to say. He looked lost for words.
"Yes dad. Jake and I ar-" He cut me off.
"I said no! Not thing again!" My dad shook his head. "He doesn't deserve a second chance." My dad spat the words out.
I looked at him confused. "You can't decided whether he does or not. You don't know him like I do." I kept myself from yelling. I wanted to be mature about this.
"What's going on?" My mom said as she came trotting down the stairs. She was smiling at first but then it faded when her eyes fixed on Jake and our hands. "Oh." She said quietly. I knew she was disappointed. I told her I would stay away from him.
"She's giving him a second chance. Can you even believe this?" My dad said to my mom.
"Can you at least hear me out?" I said loudly. I took in a big breath and began speaking. I needed to stay calm. "I don't want to live in the past anymore. I can't say sorry fixed everything because it didn't. There are 2 types of sorry in my book. When you know someone truly means it and regrets what they did and when someone just says it when they did something wrong. I know Jake means it and he cares. I can't say I know he won't do it again but I guess I'm just taking the chance. I just think he deserves this second chance. I want you guys to accept that I'm going to be with him again."
An awkward silence filled the room until my father spoke. "I saw how bad last time he hurt you. You tried shutting people out, you never had a smile on your face, and you never bothered with anything anymore. You didn't care about anything. I actually thought you were going to commit suicide at one point, but when you finally got your band signed and you were going places, I knew you would be better. I guess I can't get over the past because it was a major part in my life. I couldn't stand to see you so upset like that, it broke my heart. I can't forgive what he did to you. I will not approve of this." With that, my dad walked up stairs and left Jake, my mom, and I to stand there alone. My mom opened her mouth bu just shook her head and followed dad.
"I can't believe this." I said almost in a whisper. I turned to Jake who was biting his lip. I could see what my father said really effected him. I knew he just wanted people to see how sorry he was and that he actually cared about me. He wanted people to see that he had changed for the better and he wouldn't hurt me. I believed him.
"I want him to just understand... I just wish.." He was lost for words.
I hugged him. "I know, I know. He'll understand one day. He just needs to see that you've changed."
"I'm always going to regret what I did to you. The biggest mistake ever. It just seems like that one thing will always come back to haunt me no matter what I try to do to fix it." He sighed. "Maybe I deserve it." He shrugged.
"Don't say that! You don't deserve any of this. Everyone makes mistakes but at least you are trying to fix it. Hey, you can gladly say you fixed something." I said with a smile and I kissed his lips. "Me."
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Note: So I uploaded a bit faster this time! xD I'm going to make the next chapter fun, I promise! This one is just so dramatic but I need to get this in somewhere! What'd you think!? Let me know! No song or picture for this chapter, sorry! My computer is being really slow and I want to get this uploaded so it would take FOREVER to upload anything! Okay well vote, comment, and fan! Please try to comment! I really would like to know who is actually reading this and the first person to comment gets a chapter dedicated to them :D! Just make sure you fan me so I can do this.