"Thank you." I whisper, so low Maven probably didn't hear me. I can't look at him. I can't... I just can't. Tears are streaming down my face and I can't breathe, let alone look at that killer.
But he's right. I am the same. I am the death of so many people, I cannot count. I can't make up for the loss of life that I have caused.
And it kills me.
My sobs rack through my body and my tears blind my vision. When your heart is broken, it actually feels like you're being pierced through your chest. My heart is shattered into thousands of pieces all over the floor, nobody, not even Cal, could put it back together again.
I am nothing.
A warm hand touches my shoulder and then slides across my back. I cling to him. Hiccuping sobs and all, he holds me. His hand pets the back of my head as he soothes me. I cannot believe this act, my mind tells me. But he's real, is what my heart says.
My heart also aches for Cal.
What do I do? How can I did this? I don't trust anybody.
♥
I wake up the next morning and Maven is asleep in a chair in front of my bed.
"Maven?" I say quietly.
He jerks awake and stands up ready to attack at any moment. When he sees that there isn't any danger, he calms down. Then he looks at me in concern. His face appears tired.
"You were having nightmares. You were crying out and so I stayed here with you. I didn't want you to be alone." He says to my questioning look.
I don't remember any of it. But this boy, in front of me now, is the Maven I first knew. I almost smile.
"Sorry." I say, my voice hoarse. Probably from screaming.
Maven must notice that too because he says, "I can get you something for that. Or perhaps a healer?" He offers.
I accept that so I can have a moment alone and he rushes off to get me what I need.
He's changed. I can see it. But it's only when we're alone. What would happen if we were in front of the entire world? What would he do then?
When he comes back, I ask him. I don't want this to take long, so I am very forward. He smiles.
"When we are together, as King and Queen of Norta, I will act like a King. My people must obey me, Mare. I can't seem like an emotional leader to them. They need to see me as strict." He says honestly.
"But what happens when I don't agree with something you do as King? " I argue.
Maven comes close to me and holds my hands. "I won't let it come to that, Mare."
I close my eyes in the moment. I don't want this. I don't want this. I don't want this. But it happens. Maven puts a hand on my lower back and pulls me close to him. My body is pressed up against his. My arms automatically wrap around his neck and my head tilts to the side. Then I wait.
I open my eyes and Maven is staring at me.
"Just yesterday you were crying because you watched my brother leave. Now you are trying to kiss me?" He says, making me feel guilty. I don't know what I was thinking. "You are giving me conditions, Mare. But what about you? Do you think I want to marry someone who is in love with my brother? No. I dont. I want you to want me. I will have you regardless because you are still my prisoner. You still have dues to pay. And I think you will pay another one today. " Maven leans in close to me, closer than he's ever been. "I will have your heart one day, Mare. One day you will truly be mine."
He leaves me then. Again. He always has the last word in this game. But I intend on winning.
Hey! Thanks for everyone who is still reading. You are,
Ah. May. Zing. Feel free to vote and comment blah blah blah... I want to know who you guys are rooting for! Cal or Maven? Don't worry... I'm putting in some Scarlet Guard action! I'm also thinking Evangeline is going to make another appearance...