It was Wednesday and it was 4th period. All the boys who won at last night's game has a day off due to practicing so goddamn much yesterday. But anyways, I just wanna forget about yesterday.
I didn't see Jada for the whole entire morning, but I saw Michel'le.
I was scared to tell her about the things I saw with her and Dre yesterday. I know she'll get mad if I tell or even ask.
I walked inside the girl's bathroom and I saw her leaning towards the mirror and I saw a huge black eye on her left eye.
She quickly covered it while wincing in pain, "Oh, um....Nia! I was just-"
"You don't have to tell me anything because I already know." I replied.
Her face frowned and she looked like she was about to cry. "I gotta.....I gotta go."
"Wait." I said as I gripped her arm. Her eyes slowly turned red as she stared at me.
"Let it out. Everything." I told her straight to the eye.
Tears starting falling from her eyes and she hugged me as she cried loudly.
I patted her back and rubbed it.
"Michel'le, you gotta leave him. You can't handle this type of abuse, in fact, you are too young to be having this type of abuse. Do it or else it's gonna get worse." I told her as she walked to the mirror, repeatedly gasping as she cried.
"I can't, I just can't!" She bellows as she covered her black eye.
"You have to. You have no choice. He can't just do that to you, it shows that he doesn't love you, and I know many girls doesn't wanna feel like they aren't loved." I said as she was pacing around the bathroom.
I sighed and walked up to her from pacing. "You have to leave him or else this is gonna get worser than it is now, he may put you in a hospital, shit he may even try to kill you."
It took a second for her to realize that I was right, I may not be that close to Michel'le as I was with Jada, but I don't want anybody to go through domestic violence.
She nodded her head, "You're right, I should just pack my stuff and leave him." Michel'le agreed with me as she gave a weak smile.
I gave her a bright smile and gave her a big hug. "And if anything goes wrong, tell me, Jada or anyone you're close with. Just remember you have people who is there for you. Okay?"
She nodded her head in agreement and she wiped away her tears. We walked out of the bathroom together as it was time for lunch.
[A/N: I know I'm overreacting over this but if you or a family member or friend is a victim of domestic violence, call the 24/7 National Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)]
*****
Me and Michel'le was sitting on the floor, due to anybody not being here today. I then saw Jada, finally coming in even though it's 5th period. She looks groggy and gross, in fact she looks like she just woke up from bed.
She saw us and sat down next to Michel'le. "Well, nice to see you this afternoon." I said to her.
"Don't talk to me, I'm tired." She warily remarks as she stared foward.
"Is it because of what happened last night? It was personal problems I had with Eri─"
"No, no. It's not you but..... wait that's why you left?" Jada questioned.
"Oh, let's.....let's not please." I said as I opened my water bottle.
"Nia, you wanted to know my problems and now I wanna now yours. Tell us, what's wrong?" Michel'le questioned.
"He was all over this girl....she-"
"What did she look like?" Jada said.
I shrugged my shoulders. "She had darkskin like me, she has naturally silk hair, & she looked like a cheerleader to me." I explained.
Jada was looking at one person, who was exactly the person I described.
"I think that's her." Jada said as she pointed at her.
I gave her a blank stare then turned away. "Whatever," I comment in a unbothered tone, but I knew deep inside I want to run up to her and throw some meatballs all over her face.
I saw her laughing and giggling with a few volleyball players, as she slowly sipped on her orange juice.
"Ooooh, is Nia jealous?" Jada mocked me, while I nudged her shoulder.
"No, it's just.......it's.....I don't know. Like, why did he chose her and not me? Like......"
"Oh, I know how you feeling. That feeling when you see your man who ain't really man with another girl and you wanna tell your man who ain't your man to stay the hell away from her but you can't because he ain't really your man but that's your man." Michel'le explicated in a way I misunderstood at first, but then slowly broke it down silently in my head.
"Uh........I guess so." I said in still in a state of confusion. Jada just shrugged her shoulders.
"Girl, to be completely honest with you, he would've been your nigga if you actually told your feelings to him, you know?" Jada added on.
"I don't think he would like a girl like me, I mean.....I barely talk and I'm always to myself so who wants a girl like that?" I questioned.
"Someone will. I promise you that. And girls like you are often heard as the freaks in bed, so you good, you good." Jada humorously comments as we all laughed.
"You know what, I'm glad that I have friends like you guys in my life, you know? And Nia, if you have any problems with Eric or boys, just call on us because.....just because I have a voice of a 4 year old, doesn't mean I can't whoop ass." Michel'le says as Jada laughed.
I smiled and layed my head on her shoulder, "Thanks, Michel'le."
*****
2:30 striked and i was outside with Jada and Michel'le. As we walked down the steps together, we saw Eazy, Dre and Pac in his impala.
Eazy waved at me, but I just turned away and continued walking downstairs.
Eazy walked up to me, leaving his crew alone in his impala. "Aye, why didn't you wave back?"
"Oh, um....hey." I replied quietly as I looked down to the ground.
"Why? You don't wanna see me?" He asked as he smirked.
"I......I don't know ─" I nervously answered him.
"Hi, Eric!" I heard a very feminine voice say. It was that girl who was all over him last night. She kissed him on the cheek and started to play with his hair.
She then looked at me, "Oh. Who's this?" She questioned as she gave me a mean glare.
"This is my son, Nia. Nia, this is my girl, Tatyana." He replied as he stared hungrily at her breasts, which nearly made me choke.
My girl, my girl, my girl. Those words kept repeating over and over again inside my head.
She wasn't so pleased with me, "Oh, hi.....Nia. anyways, Eric when are we going to the mall?"
"We're going in a few, just stay in the car, cool?" He said as she nodded and kissed his cheek, walking towards to his impala.
"Nia, what's up with you? Something ain't right." He asked me with a concerned look.
I shrugged my shoulders, with my eyes attached to the ground.
"Whatcha mean you don't know? I don't like seeing my friends being down, now you know that, right?" He questioned with more concern.
"Eric....I'm fine. I promise." I replied quietly with a fabrication.
He gave me a minute of stare then broke the silence. "Aight, I'll hit you up later." He said as he turned around and jumped inside the car.
Pac and Jada was too busy french kissing, of course. Meanwhile, Michel'le & Dre were talking to each other, looking like things will work out after all.
It seems like everyone is in a relationship, and I'm the odd girl out.
The kissing, the love, the fights, the sex ─, seems like life was good to them, but not for me obviously.
I made my way home by myself, I opened up the door and I saw my aunt with a man I never saw before in my life.
"Oh, Nia! You're home. I want you to meet a very important person, baby." She greets as she helped put my backpack down and made me something to drink.
It was kinda weird because she never acted like this before unless someone she liked or is important is here.
She brung two glasses of milk, and so far I am not surprised.
"Did i ask for some goddamn milk?" The man growls in anger as my aunt just smiled.
"Fuck you smiling for? Bitch." He responded as he took out a blunt and rolled it.
I just gave heavy stares at him, "Nia! Snap out of it! It's rude to stare at people like that." She snapped at me.
"Um, I gotta go upstairs to do some.....work." I adjusted myself and trailed upstairs to my room.
I closed the door and locked it as I felt myself about to cry. Tears started streaming down my face and I started gasping uncontrollably as my neck chocked up and my eyes gotten red.
It was just that talk I had with Eric today and what happened yesterday. I mean, look at Tatyana. She is tall, darkskin, beautiful, has long hair on her back.
While it's just me. Nia. An average, ugly, quiet girl who is obviously worthless.
Or maybe it's my fault. I should've told Eric my feelings to him that I'm in love with him and I wanna take things to another level, but of course, I'm too scared to do it because I think he'll disaprove of me. Plus, I believe it's too early. We just meet 2 weeks ago. I don't think this type of behavior is normal or basic to me in any type of way.
More tears started streaming over my face. The more I think about Eric, the more I just cry. In matter of fact, why am I crying over a boy who may not even have feelings for me? This is just stupid.....I can't literally be feeling like this over a normal, human being. I felt like I was trapped in a state of insanity and gloom.
The crying stopped, I closed my eyes and later fell asleep for 5 hours.
I heard my aunt bang on the door and walking in, "Girl, wake up! I need you to go back outside and buy something for dinner tonight with my special guest!" My aunt yelled as I wiped the sleepiness from my eyes.
She threw a $10 bill at me. "Go buy me 2 tomatoe sauce. If you ain't here in less than 8 minutes, I'm calling the police." She warns me as she slammed the door.
I groaned as I got up and went outside of the cold darkness, hoping that I will make it back home alive at least. I shivered as I walked to the corner store, I saw some kelly park crips hanging out outside the store.
I looked down so that I won't get in trouble, but all of that just went wrong.
"Yo!" One yelled at me as I was infront of the store's door. I slowly turned my head.
"Do you know a nigga named Eric Wright?" He yelled at me.
I don't know if this was a good or bad question, but I think I should reply with a no.
"Um, no. I-i-i don't know who you're talking ab-"
"Bitch, quit bugging I know you know his short ass!" Another barked at me as he came closer towards me.
I felt myself getting more scared and I shivered even more, and it's not just the cold.
The crip laughed. "See, how I made this shit skinned ass bitch shivering?" He insulted me, as others laughed.
I ignored their comments and just walked inside the store. But it became more worse when they followed inside.
The store owner yelled at them to leave, but they didn't listen.
"Nigga, shut the fuck up before I blow yo' goddamn brains out, fool!" A crip threatened at the store owner.
I walked in between the food aisle, and I felt a hard grip on my arms, making scream constantly for help.
"Bitch, do you know a person named Eric Wright?" He said as he squeeze on my arm harder.
I was wincing in pain as I tried to respond. "N-n-no. I don't know a person na-" He then threw me to the ground.
"Bitch, you better watch yourself because we coming your ass." The crip flamed with a more intense threat as he laughed.
All the crips left, making a mess all over the store. The owner ran to me.
"Oh, miss. Do you need some help? I'll call the police right no-"
"No, no. It's okay I'm fine." I replied quietly as I stood up and dusted myself off.
"Are you sure? Because these guys just assaulted you-"
"No, I'm alright." I repeated quietly with some irritation, that was mixed with fear as i took a can of tomato sauce. "How much is for this?"
"You can have it for free." The store owner remarks.
A small smile came to my face. "Why, thank you."
The store owner gave a smile back in return, "It's my pleasure."
******
DEAR DIARY,
it has been a little tipsy today. But I'm still emotional over Eric. I know he doesn't have feelings for me and if I tell I do, he might stay away from me, or won't even talk to me. But let's just say this for a fact, that I'm sort of, well, maybe in love with Eazy.