xxxiii.

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January 17th, 1989

"Okay, now I want complete silence during this term. You will have 45 minutes to complete this exam, there is no extra time for students who are too time-consuming, or distracted by their surroundings." The teacher informed us as she passed out the very first exam of the midterms, which was for English Honors.

Today is the day when all the stress and boredom finally take its place. I pursed my lips and laid back on my seat as I rapidly tapped my pencil onto the test paper.

"Now you may open test booklets and begin." The teacher informed us as I heard papers flip open.

I gave a big deep breath before opening. This is honestly bullshit. Yeah, in the beginning of the year, you'll get all excited and shit because it's your final year of high school, and you'll get all the fun advantages and privileges the school offers to you, but now since it's the middle of the year, the exams, college acceptances, scholarships, financial aid troubles starts rolling in, and it'll lead you to the point where you want to give up.

But unfortunately, you can't because you need to take this, then the SATS, then the finals and then you're on your own.

But why am I even speaking about this? I literally kissed my best friend on Friday.

I didn't even think when kissed Pac, I'm lucky that he's not in this class and taking regular English midterms next door.

But why did I kiss him back, though? That's just something that I'm figuring out, well, at the wrong time.

Okay, let me just clear this midterm thing or whatever off my mind real quick for a minute.

The night when I walked home a few minutes after the kiss, I finally started to dwell on my thoughts. I immediately started thinking about Eric, then Aaliyah, then Jada. Wait, was I even thinking about Jada's thot ass?

I don't know, but in other words, I feel like a traitor. I think I definitely cheated on Eric, because this was like a stab to his heart. What if he does find out that I kissed Pac? Then I'll lose the man I love and go back being depressed, overfilling my diary with my expressions and just go on hiatus with everything and everybody.

I'm not sure, I really wanna tell this to somebody, but I'm afraid they'll snitch and tell some kids around school and then, boom, a rumor came up that will put my high school life in jeopardy, and I've been here for nearly 6 months.

But I really wanna thoooough.

I crossed my hands and placed them in front of my dark flavored lipstick, having some of the stains on my hands as I regained my focus and started the article featured in the midterm.

****

A few periods after the morning testing ended,
it was lunchtime as me and Kim stayed in the bathroom, designing and playing with our hair.

She was touching my flat ironed hair as she smacked the gum she was chewing in her mouth.

"Girl, didn't I tell you to quit flat ironing your hair?" Kim questions me as she held one strand of my hair.

"Kim, I don't give a shit about my hair no more. After school, I'm cutting it and getting a pixie cut." I responded.

"Well, I could do your hair for you." She took a pair of scissors, a hair shampoo and conditioner out of her purse with a small smile.

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