Author's Notes: Apologies for the lack of updates, I've been so bloody busy these last couple of weeks. I am working through the requests you guys have given me but here is a quick One Shot I wrote in class, based on the song 'Can't Pretend' by Tom Odell (you should totally check it out if you haven't already, its beautiful)
Word Count: 2330
~✖~
Vikram Barn had always loved stars. When he was young, he used to sit in his window, watching them wink and sparkle at him. Vik forgot about everything while he sat looking at the stars. The nasty comments he received on his videos evaporated while he watched the stars. Vik watched them until his mum would come into his room and scold him for staying up so late.
He supposed it way his way of escaping reality.
Love, I have wounds,
Only you can mend,
You can mend oh oh oh.
At twenty years old, Vik had more trouble escaping. His uploading schedule was so vigorous, he struggled to find time to eat and sleep, yet alone have time to escape with his thoughts. This particular night Vik, try as he might, couldn't sleep. He turned over in his bed and sighed. He could only think of one thing that would reassure him.
Vik quietly climbed out of his bed and walked softly downstairs, towards the front door. He opened the door, crept out of the Sidemen house, and started to make his down the street.
I guess that's love,
I can't pretend,
I can't pretend, oh oh oh.
Vik made his way slowly along the quiet road he had walked down countless times before, illuminated by several fizzing street lights. It was a good place to walk; it was easy to get lost in the scenery and clear his mind.
He eventually found himself by the lake, staring into its semi-frozen beauty. He knew he'd be safe there; no one would bother looking here. It was his special place.
Feel, my skin is rough,
But it can be cleansed,
It can be cleansed, oh oh oh.
Letting a small smile grace his features, Vik went to the edge of the lake and looked upwards. There, brightening slightly as if happy to see him, were millions of dazzling stars.
It was silent for quite a while, but Vik liked it that way.
He sat, staring at the sky, so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't hear the approach of another person.
And my arms are tough,
But they can be bent,
They can be bent,
And I wanna fight,
But I can't contend.
"Hey, I'm Lachlan," an unfamiliar voice said gently.
Vik whirled around, ignoring his head spinning at such a quick movement. His eyebrows were raised in confusion, yet curiosity. "Hello..." he replied, uncertain. He had never seen this boy in his life. "I'm Vik."
And with that, Lachlan sat on the edge of the water beside Vik, about three feet away. They exchanged no more words, just sat there breathing in the cool air and watching the stars twinkle.
I guess that's love,
I can't pretend,
I can't pretend, oh oh ooh-oh,
oh oh oh.
Vik was amazed at how this night turned into many other nightly meetings. The two teenagers never said anything to each other, but the silence that accompanied them was comfortable.
Lachlan always arrived after Vik. Except for one night. One night, Lachlan was already sitting beside the icy cold water, his light-brown hair blowing in the wild wind.
"Why so early?" Vik asked, after joining him.
Lachlan shrugged, not taking his gaze from the sky. "I had a quick nap earlier after filming a video, had a nightmare, and I knew it was no use even trying to sleep."
Vik wondered what sort of nightmare Lachlan had really had. He didn't have to wonder long.
About two nights after that night, Vik arrived at his special place and found Lachlan asleep, perched precariously on the side of the lake. Vik rushed forwards and pulled him away from the water, so that he wouldn't fall in, and sat him against a nearby tree. Luckily, he didn't wake up. Vik frowned in thought, but sat beside the lake anyway.
A moan shook Vik from his reverie. He climbed to his feet and knelt swiftly beside Lachlan. His face was contorted with pain, and he twitched slightly. Vik touched Lachlan's shoulder, and Lachlan moaned again. He screwed up his face, and started muttering quietly. Vik caught the words "Don't hurt him" and "No, leave him alone".
Vik shook Lachlan awake, and when Lachlan had focused his eyes, his mouth opened in surprise.
"You had a nightmare, didn't you?" Vik asked, still holding Lachlan's shoulders.
Lachlan nodded and clambered to his feet. When Lachlan stood up, he stumbled sideways into Vik and the older grabbed him around the waist. As soon as he realised how close their bodies were, he fought a blush and let go of Lachlan quickly.
"Are you alright?" Vik said to divert the attention onto Lachlan.
Lachlan nodded again, and made his way to sit at the edge of the water. Vik followed slowly. The night passed without another word.
Oh feel our bodies grow
And our souls they play, yeah
Yeah love I hope you know
How much my heart depends, yeah.
The two boys had exchanged phone numbers and hadn't stopped exchanging messages back and forth. As the nights went by, Vik started to feel a feeling he had never experienced before. It sneaked up on him, with no warning.
He was falling for Lachlan Power.
He began to love his moments spent with Lachlan by the river. Whenever he thought Lachlan wasn't looking, Vik glanced at him, trying to catch a glimpse of the beauty beside him.
He was happier than he had ever been in his life. For once, he had learnt what it felt like to love.
One night, Lachlan arrived as per usual. When he sat down though, he sat closer to Vik than he had ever sat. He sat so close that their fingertips nearly brushed one another's. Vik felt confusion then.
He went over and over the possibilities in his head. Did Lachlan sit closer to him because he was feeling particularly vulnerable? Or maybe, Vik swallowed thickly at the mere thought. Maybe Lachlan felt the same way about him as Vik felt about Lachlan.
No, Vik was most likely reading into the action far more than was necessary.
He tried to forget about it, but that night, Lachlan sat just as close as he had the other night.
But I guess that's love I can't pretend,
I guess that's love I can't pretend, oh oh,
But I guess that's love I can't pretend,
I guess that's love I can't pretend, oh oh.
Every night became harder for Vik. At first, he didn't have much trouble controlling his feelings for the younger boy, but as every night passed, Vik found himself yearning for Lachlan to do something. Vik was losing concentration in his YouTube uploading schedule, because all he could think about was Lachlan. He wanted to touch his soft skin, wanted to kiss his perfect lips, wanted to run his fingers through his hair.
Vik wanted Lachlan so much, but was afraid to make a move.
One night, when the sky was perfectly clear, Lachlan arrived after Vik, like always, and sat right beside Vik, like always. Only tonight, Vik didn't want things to be the same.
Carefully, Vik laid his hand on top of Lachlan's cold one. Lachlan jumped slightly, and looked at Vik sideways. Vik pretended not to notice, and continued watching the stars.
His next action took even himself by surprise.
Vik lent sideways and placed his head to rest on Lachlan's shoulder. Lachlan's body stiffed, and he began to stutter.
"V-Vik... wh... what are y-you...?"
"Shhh," Vik said, his gaze not flickering from the stars.
"B-but..."
Vik lifted his head, and looked around into Lachlan's eyes. He positioned his body so he wouldn't fall into the lake, and Vik slowly lent in and kissed Lachlan gently on the lips.
For a moment, Lachlan was frozen still, but he responded by kissing Vik back. The kiss was a dry kiss, but when Vik's tongue flickered on top of Lachlan's bottom lip, Lachlan jerked backwards.
Vik just sat there, quite still, trying to ignore the fact that his eyes were watering. He moved his head up by a fraction, and his eyes met Lachlan's.
For a moment, a wonderful moment, Lachlan stared into Vik's eyes, and Vik was sure that Lachlan had feelings for him as well. But Lachlan wrenched his gaze from Vik, and quickly scrambled to his feet.
"I'm sorry," he panted, moving backwards, towards the trees. "I... I can't."
And with that, Lachlan spun on his heel and fled into the forest that camouflaged the location of Vik's special place so effectively.
Vik didn't know how long he sat there and just stared into the lake. The stars winkled at him, but they seemed to be mocking him.
Tears started to stream down Vik's face. He crawled into a small ball and wrapped his arms around himself. And it was in that position that Vik let the harsh sobs overcome him.
Oh feel our bodies grow,
And our souls they play, yeah,
Yeah love I hope you know,
How much my heart depends, yeah.
The next couple of days were hell for Vik. He had finished editing a video that had taken him hours, only for his editing software to crash before he had a chance to save it.
To Vik's anguish, Lachlan didn't show up at the river that night. Or the night after that. Vik felt like crying again, but knew it wouldn't do any good. He still visited his special place every night, but Lachlan never showed.
It wasn't until a couple of days later, when Vik visited a nightclub with Simon, JJ and Josh, that he saw Lachlan again. The taller boy was stood at the bar on his own, slowly sipping at a pint. It took a few minutes for Vik to develop the guts to approach him.
With a deep breath, he made his way towards where Lachlan was standing. There was no turning back now. "Hi Lachlan. Can I have a word?"
Lachlan spun around with wide eyes. "Oh h-hey Vik," he mumbled, pulling his fingers through his hair.
"Excellent. Come with me," Vik said without waiting for an answer, surprised at his own surge of confidence.
He motioned for Lachlan to follow him, and Lachlan obeyed. Vik led them out of the club.
"What do you want, Vik?" Lachlan asked, tearing his eyes away from him and refusing to meet his gaze.
"Lachlan. I, uhm," Vik stopped. This was a lot harder than he had anticipated. "Well, I want to say I'm sorry. For... for the other night," he sighed. "I'm sorry for kissing you. I'm sorry for startling you. I'm sorry for everything. It's just..." Vik bit his lip firmly, determined not to let his voice shake. "I think I'm in love with you."
Lachlan froze, and turned his gaze to the floor. Vik waited, desperate for a reaction.
"Lachlan? Say something. Anything," Vik pleaded.
Lachlan looked up at Vik and Vik was surprised to see his face twisted in pain.
"I can't. I can't... be with you. I just can't," Lachlan said, and turned to leave. Vik, however, grabbed Lachlan's wrist.
"Wait! Why can't you?"
"I just can't."
"Why? Tell me, Lachlan. Please." Vik looked into Lachlan's eyes, and saw that they were shining sadly.
"Listen, I really like you. Truly I do. It's my Dad. He can't accept that I'm gay, he put my ex in hospital. Everyone I become close to gets hurt. That's why I can't. I don't want you to get hurt."
Before Vik could reply, Lachlan had wrenched out of Vik's grip and was running away in the opposite direction of the nightclub.
Vik groaned in frustration as the younger boy retreated. He leaned his back against the wall and slid down until he was sitting on the ground, his head cradled in his hands.
Vik texted Lachlan multiple times that night. And the day after. He continued to text the blond boy until his iMessages stopped delivering. He gulped hard, hot tears slipping down his cheeks.
I guess that's love,
I can't pretend,
I can't pretend, oh oh oh.
It was a cold Wednesday night and Vik was sat by the lake. like he did most nights. He sighed and looked upwards.
There, brightening slightly as if happy to see him, were the millions of dazzling stars he had become so familiar with.
It was silent, but Vik liked it that way.
He sat, staring at the stars, so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't hear the approach of another person.
"Hey Vik," Vik recognised the voice instantly and he instantly felt his heartbeat increase, though he refused to acknowledge the slightly younger boy. "Vik? Please talk to me."
Vik stood up and glared at the taller boy. "Why should I talk to you? When I told you how I felt and you walked away, it felt like a hole had been punched through my chest," he furiously blinked away the tears forming in his eyes. "You ignored me when I needed you most."
Lachlan choked on a sob. "I'm sorry Vik, I'm so s-so sorry." He took a shaky breath. "I can't do this anymore. I can't pretend that I don't like you."
Vik's eyes widened. "W-What are you trying to say?"
"I love you so much, Vik. I'm tired of pretending, I'm tired of hurting." Lachlan started crying again, the tears falling feely.
Tears sprang to Vik's own eyes and he launched himself at Lachlan. He threw his arms around Lachlan's neck, and the blond picked him up as the smaller boy wrapped his legs around his waist. Their lips found each other in a desperate caress.
When they finally pulled apart, Vik smiled shyly through his swollen lips. "I love you too, I love you so much, Lachlan. More than you'll ever imagine."
I guess that's love,
I can't pretend,
I can't pretend, oh oh oh.