"I'm sorry to come over here unannounced, I know you don't want me around at the moment but I heard you went to see Dexter so I wanted to make sure you're okay." He said and looked at Arden, making sure she was asleep before pulling the bottle out of her mouth, he then walked over to the mobile bed we kept in the living room and slowly placed her in, being extremely careful as not to wake her up in he process. I could just imagine her squirming as she was put down.
Finally, after taking great care of his daughter and her comfort, he straightened himself and turned to look at me, his hands in his pockets, the expression on his face soft, one of concern and love.
"Are you alright?" He asked and right there, I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry not because I wasn't okay, far from that. I felt as if I was free from the burden I had been carrying around on my back and in my heart. The one that made it almost impossible to live a fulfilled life. The one that made it impossible for me to love and accept the unconditional love that Frederick had been wanting to shower me with.
"Eva?" I heard coming from him. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath that I slowly released a few seconds later, and, as I was opening my eyes, I felt the first of many tears fall on my cheek.
I gazed at him from where I was standing and smiled sadly. "I forgot for a second," I spoke softly, the tears clouding my vision of him, my heart broke for the billionth time in my life but this time, the heartbreak and sadness that I was nursing had everything to do with my own insecurities, demons, and fears.
Through the clouds, I saw Frederick take a step in my direction. I shook my head lightly, using my fingers to wipe away at my tears. He stopped moving. I sighed heavily.
"For a second, I had had almost forgotten how it felt to be on the receiving end of your love and I never want to ever forget that because that love is what pulls me through when the darkness threatens to invade and inhabit my body and take over my soul." My voice broke as I said the last words, my heavy heart suddenly as light as a feather.
I was watching him and as every second of him being silent passed, I started to wonder if maybe, just maybe, I had finally succeeded at pushing him away forever.
My heart, oh my poor heart was beating so incredibly fast while I prayed silently to God to give me one more chance to prove to him that he wasn't alone in this and that my love for him was beyond human understanding. That I loved him for who he was and what he had given me and for everything he stood for in my life.
Today, finally, I was ready to accept that sometimes, it was okay not to question the love people have for you. I had been fighting it for so long, I had been scared of getting hurt for so long that I had forgotten that it was okay to keep my guards down.
"Please, tell me you hadn't given up on me yet. Please, tell me I still hold a part of your heart because I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself if I've pushed you so far away that coming back isn't worth it to you." I smiled sadly, the tears now steadily streaming down my cheeks.
I was scared to look up because I knew I wouldn't be able to bear it if he had decided to part ways with me.
"Eva, look at me." He spoke and just like that, I raised my head to meet his eyes, wiping off the tears as they kept falling.
I laughed nervously and witnessed the moment his poker face transformed into the most beautiful smile, beside my daughter's, that I had ever seen.
"No matter how far your fears and doubts pushed me, I will always come back to you because you are what I need." He promised, and I felt my whole body shaking as I released that breath I was holding in.
"Now," he continued while watching me. "How about you come to me so that I can finally kiss you for the first time since what now feels like forever."
I couldn't wait, and for the life of me, I wouldn't wait for him to finish his sentence before running towards him, unable to keep the smile off my face simply because the love of my life, that person that completed me, was waiting for me with arms wide open. It was beautiful, he was beautiful and as I kept moving towards him, I realized how much I've missed him and how grateful I was to him as I remembered Dexter's face and the pure joy I've felt inside me when he had revealed what had happened to him.
I stood in front of Frederick, my smile widened. He looked skeptical standing there not knowing what was going through my mind.
"So, are we finally done with the fighting?" He asked and I laughed, nodding my head furiously, I took that last step towards him, that step that made it impossible for even a fly to get between us.
"I love you." I whispered, nothing else was needed to be said because those words alone meant an Infinite number of things.
"I love you," he said back. His arm came around me as he pulled me in, pressing my body against his. I laughed and lifted myself up on the tip of my toes, Frederick smiled. And, as his soft lips landed on mine, I closed my eyes almost involuntarily and without hesitation, deepened the kiss. My arms came around his neck as I pulled him down to deepen the kiss even more, pushing him towards the sofa because I wanted to feel more of him, everything, every part of his body that I had missed incredibly much.
"Where's your mother?" I asked between kisses before pushing him on the sofa which he fell in laughing.
"Michael came to pick her up not long before you arrived." He replied as he watched me from where he was laying while I unbuttoned my jeans.
I smiled and stepped out of them. "Good. We wouldn't want her to witness this." I said which made him laugh. Frederick lifted himself up and sat down.
"Come here." He ordered softly. I obliged, stopping in front of him while biting my bottom lip nervously. Although my scars had finally healed, they were still visible which I knew of because a day hadn't passed without me spending more time than needed in front of a mirror to stare at Karlie's piece of art, obsessing over it.
I was very aware and extremely and overly self-conscious of it and as much as I kept telling myself that there really was nothing I could have done to stop what had happened, I still could not get over it.
I was still wearing the long sleeve shirt I had paired with my jeans that stopped an inch or two passed my waist. Frederick, holding my gaze, started lifting the shirt slowly to reveal my belly. I stopped breathing while I watched him and the second his lips made contact with skin right there next to the scar, I let out a shaky breath which also happened to be the exact moment Arden decided to make it known that she was already up.
A laugh came out of me while Frederick rested his forehead on my belly. I would have lied if I said I wasn't sort of relieved for the interruption but said nothing as I placed a kiss on his head then headed towards the baby who stopped crying the second she was in my arms.
I walked over to Frederick who had gotten up while I went ahead to get my daughter and handed her over to him. "She pooped." I told him, smiling. Frederick scrunched up his nose, gagging the second he pushed his nose close enough to her diaper to get a whiff. I burst out laughing.
"Oh God. I love her but my goodness, what is she eating?"
I looked back at him and laughed even more when I noticed how he was holding on to Arden while he ran towards her changing station next to her pack and play bed. I shook my head but kept laughing silently, while I put my pants back on and sat down. A few minutes later, Frederick came to sit next to me with a happy Arden in his arms.
"Hey," he said softly. I looked over at him.
"Hey yourself," I replied back.
"I love you." The words alone warmed up my heart.
"I love you, too." I choked up on the words and leaned over to kiss him softly. No urgency, just him and I.
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( Six months later.)
"Well, I guess a year was too long for you two I suppose?" Dr. Kim who had been taking care of me chuckled as she walked back in the hospital room where Frederick, Arden and I were waiting for her while she went to get my test results.
I frowned and glanced at Frederick who was playing with Arden who was laughing wholeheartedly. I looked back at the doctor who now had taken a sit next to the bed I was laying on.
"I'm sorry, I don't understand. What's wrong? Am I sick?" I asked, already imagining the worse, the worse being dying and leaving my daughter and Frederick who I was sure would devastated.
The doctor shook her head, smiling. "You're not sick. You're just pregnant even though I told you both to wait at least a year." She was laughing as she said those last words and I, still laying there, trying to make sense of what I had just heard, started laughing unconsciously.
"I'm sorry, you said what now?" I asked again. Frederick got up with eight months old Arden who was distracted with the chew toy in her hand.
"Eva my darling, you have a bun in the oven. You know,..knocked up."
"But....but...but wait!" I finally sat down. "Maybe there's a confusion, I haven't even had my period yet."
"Well, I guess it was about that time because you ovulated and thus made a baby." She got up. "You'll need to start taking your prenatal vitamins and I want to closely monitor you for this pregnancy." She added and I watched her a little dumbfounded as she was writing something down, most likely a prescription.
"There you go," she handed me the paper while smiling. I simply nodded, still completely out of it. In the background, I heard Frederick happily laughing. I turned to stare at him and then finally frowned.
"What are you laughing about, mister?" I asked.
"Nothing, I'm just laughing with my daughter, it definitely has nothing to do with the fact that I knocked you up and am feeling pretty proud at the moment. It absolutely has nothing to do with that." He answered while smiling brightly.
"Liar." I laughed and finally got off the bed.
"I can say goodbye to my plan of starting work when Arden turns one. I'll have to definitely start now to be able to take a maternity leave when the time comes to pop this one out, boss." I say and try to contain the smile that threatened to appear.
"Uhm actually, since I'm so generous, I decided you could take two years vacation and start work after you give birth. I think that's pretty fair. Wouldn't you say?" Frederick said behind me while I pushed the door and walked out, him and Arden following behind. I looked and raised an eyebrow, smiling brightly.
"Not a chance, Buddy. Expect me next to start working next month." I reply back, stopping at the reception desk to settle the bill.
"Don't make me fire you, miss Chambers." Frederick said and passed me Arden before signing the receipt. I started laughing.
"I will report you to HR."
"I own the company. I'll just fire them too." He placed a hand around my shoulder as we exited the private clinic.
I burst out laughing as we entered the elevator. "In case you don't know, it's called abuse of power." I laughed as I looked up at him and he kissed me.
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