Tanya's POV
I could feel his pain because I felt the same pain too when I left him. Masakit din sa akin yung desisyon ko na lumayo sa kanya. Ten years kong dinala ang sakit na iyon. The difference between him and I was that I chose to leave him. Hindi niya piniling iwan ko siya.
Hindi ko naman sinasadyang masaktan siya. To hurt him was the last thing that I wanted. Akala ko noong mga panahon na iyon ginagawa ko yung tama para sa sarili ko at higit sa lahat, para sa kanya. I didn't mean to hurt him.
I hugged him even tighter as if to fill all the times I wasn't by his side. I believed what people around us said. That I did not deserve him. I did not deserve his love...
We were two young and broken people. We were so dependent on each other because of our pain and it was hard to break the tie. We were growing into each other that it was nearly impossible to untangle ourselves from each other. I wasn't my own person anymore. I was Wayne's. Natakot akong dumating ang araw na pati siya ay maniwala sa sinasabi ng ibang tao. Na dumating yung panahon na iwan niya na ako. I couldn't distinguish myself from him anymore. I would be nothing without him. Hindi ko na makikilala ang sarili ko kapag nawala siya sa akin.
It was then that I realized that two broken people doesn't make a whole. He loved me so much that he took every burden I carried and made it his own. I couldn't let him love me for the both os us. It wasn't right... I wanted to love him for all the right reasons. Not just because I needed him. I wanted to be deserving of him and of his love. I wanted to be whole on my own.
Mahal ko si Wayne. Hindi nawala ang pagmamahal na iyon kahit mataggal na panahon na ang lumipas. He did not deserve what I had done to him. Ten years after and I still was not worthy of his love.
Gumalaw siya, his arm pulled me in closer. He had me in his left arm while Therese slept in his right arm. Pushing my face closer to his neck, I kissed his jaw.
"Tell me you never meant to leave me. That everything was just a mistake. Hindi mo naman ako gustong iwan, di ba? You said you loved me... please don't tell me those were all lies. Say it. Just say it and I'll believe you. Paniniwalaan ko lahat ng sasabihin mo. Sa'yo lang ako maniniwala." He was in a desperate need of reassurance.
"Those weren't lies. Minahal kita noon at walang nagbago doon." I nuzzled my face into against his skin and closed my eyes. There was nothing better than having the two people I love most in this world next to me.
Para kaming totoong pamilya. Wayne moved in with us while we worked on the business we had together. It started with him spending the night or two in our house. Hanggang sa nagdadala nagsimula na siyang magdala ng mga damit dito. Before I knew it, he was living with us. He slept in my bed and made love to me every night. Therese was very attached to him and I could see how much he loved my daughter.
Hindi magandang nakikita ng anak ko na may nakakasama akong lalaki sa isang kwarto at nakakatabi sa pagtulog. Someday she'd understand that we weren't simply having 'sleep-overs' and Wayne wasn't simply my friend. Pero sa ngayon, hindi ko magawang itulak palayo sa akin si Wayne. Ayaw ko na malayo siya sa akin.
"Angel..." Nagulat ako ng yumakap siya sa akin mula sa likod. I turned my head to Wayne who now had his chin resting on my shoulder.
Hinalikan ko siya sa gilid ng noo niya. "Pahinga ka muna. Kanina ka pa trabaho ng trabaho."
"I have to make sure everything's perfect." He kissed my shoulder. "Ano'ng oras na pala? We still have to pick Therese up from school. Kumain na lang tayo sa labas bago umuwi."
I smiled and nodded my head.
We headed straight to Therese's school after finishing our work. Nakapili na kami ng location para sa itatayong bar-lounge at iyon ang pinagkakaabalahan namin ngayon. Wayne was the owner of the largest, well-known chains of party nightclubs in the Philippines. He was good with what he was doing at hindi na ako nagtataka kung bakit lumago ng ganito ang negosyo niya.
"Mommy, Daddy Wayne!" Therese ran towards us when she saw us. Yumakap siya sa amin dalawa at binuhat siya ni Wayne.
"Mommy didn't make any dinner tonight so we're going to eat out. What do you want for dinner?" Wayne gently asked.
"Umm..." Therese thought. "I want some pizza and some ice cream!"
"Pizza and ice cream it is then." Wayne smiled.
Pumunta kami sa isang pizza restaurant kung saan napili kumain ng dalawa.
"Why do you always call Mommy Angel?" Therese said, chewing on her pizza.
Wayne looked at Therese and smiled. "When I met your Mommy that's when I started believing in angels. How can someone not believe in such beautiful beings when a sample of their kind is right in front of you?"
His eyes averted to me. Napakagat ako sa pang-ibabang labi ko at sinubukan kong pigilin ang kilig ko. Oh Wayne and his words...
"Ikaw talaga. Kumain ka na nga." Naiiling na sabi ko. He gave me a wink and turned his attention back to Therese.
"Mommy, can Daddy Wayne and I play first. I want to play in the arcade!" She muttered.
"Kakain na tayo, Therese." Sabi ko.
"The arcade is just right across. Maglalaro muna kami habang naghihintay ng orders natin."
"Please, Mommy?" She pouted.
"Fine. Pero sandali lang kayo ha?" I sighed.
"Yay! Let's go, Daddy!" She hopped out of the booth and tugged Wayne's hand. Tumakbo sila papunta sa arcade
"Seeing them together, the two of them, always makes me feel warm inside. Hindi niya tinratong iba si Therese. He treated her like a real daughter. Hindi ko na naman maiwasan maisip kung paano nga kung anak talaga namin si Therese at natupad namin ang pamilyang pinapangarap namin noon. Muli akong napabuntong-hininga. There was no room for regrets. Kahit maglumpasay ako hindi ko na maibabalik ang panahon.
All I could do now was to make the best of what we had.
Sa sampung taon na magkahiwalay kami ni Wayne, no one and nothing had even come close to the way he makes me feel. I knew no one ever would.
"Tanya?" I was sucked out of my thoughts when I heard a man's voice call my name.
"LUIS?!" Napatayo ako mula sa kinauupuan ko.
He smile but his eyes were sad. "Hi."
I didn't know how to react, seeing him again after a lot of years. Libing ni Nanay noong huling beses ko siyang nakita.
"Hindi ko akalain na magkikita pa tayo. Kumusta ka na?" Tanong niya sa akin.
I swallowed. "Okay naman. Ikaw?"
"Ito." He shrugged. "Hanggang ngayon sumasagi pa rin sa isip ko si tita Esther at ang kasalanan ko sa inyo. Sinisisi ko pa rin ang sarili ko. Hindi ko naman sinasadyang humantong sa ganun..."
"Matagal na 'yun." Sabi ko.
"Sana mapatawad mo ako sa kasalanan ko sa'yo at kay tita Esther."
"Napatawad ka na ni Nanay bago siya mawala..." My eyes lowered. "Sino ba rin naman ako para hindi magpatawad?"
"Ano'ng ginagawa mo dito?" Nagulat ako ng biglang hapitin ni Wayne ang baywang ko. My head turned to him and he protectively pulled me to his side. "Get away from Tanya."
"It's okay, Wayne." Marahang sabi ko.
"Daddy Wayne, why are you mad?" Takang-tanong ni Therese habang karga siya ni Wayne sa isang braso niya. Therese sweetly wrapped her arms around him and kissed him on the cheek.
"Pasensya na. Hindi ako nanggugulo. Nakita ko lang siya at lumapit ako sa kanya para kumustahin siya."
"Tanya, ikaw ba yan?" Nagulat ako ng makita ko si Edna na palapit sa amin.
"Edna!"
"Tanya!" Patakbong lumapit siya sa akin at niyakap ako. "Grabe! Ang tagal natin hindi nagkita."
"Kumusta ka na?" Tanong ko sa kanya ng maghiwalay kami.
"Okay na okay. Apat na taon na kaming kasal ni Luis." Tumabi siya sa lalaki at ikinawit ang mga bisig niya sa braso nito. "May baby na kami. Iniwan muna namin sa Mama ko ngayon makapagdate naman kami."
"I'm so happy for the both of you." I smiled as I looked at them. "Si Wayne nga pala at ito naman si Therese... a-anak namin."
I looked at Wayne and something glimmered in his eyes when I said Therese was our daughter. A hint of smile broke on his lips.
Tumingin si Edna sa tabi ko kung nasaan si Wayne at Therese. "Hi, Wayne! Nice to see you again. Ang ganda-ganda naman ng baby niyo. Kamukha ni Tanya!"
"Hello!" Therese charmingly waved at her.
"Hi, baby. Ako si tita Edna. Best friend ako ng Mommy mo noong college pa kami." She pinched my daughter's cheek.
"How come I've never seen you before?" She asked quizically.
"Kasi wala ka pa nun. Your Mommy was really young, magboyfriend pa lang sila ng Daddy mo." Edna explained.
I invited the two of them over to our table at hindi naman tumanggi si Edna. I had lost contact with her when I went to Japan at ngayon na lang ulit kami nagkita. Kinamusta namin ang buhay ng isa't-isa. At first, ilang pa si Luis and Wayne didn't hide his annoyance towards him but It didn't take awhile for all of us warm up to each other again. Isa nang journalist si Edna at si Luis naman ay isa nang IT manager sa pinagtatrabahuhan niya. May two year old na silang anak na lalaki at mukha naman masaya sila sa isa't isa. Kahit hindi sabihin sa akin noon ni Edna, ramdam ko naman na may gusto na siya kay Luis noon. Oo, may mga maling nagawa si Luis noon pero hindi ibig sabihin nun masama siyang tao. Nabulag lang siya sa nararamdaman niya.
"O, paano ba yan? Kailangan na namin umuwi. Hinihintay na kami ng anak namin." Paalam ni Edna. "Basta ha, magtawagan tayo. Labas ulit tayo minsan, sasama ko na ang baby namin."
"Oo naman." Sabi ko at niyakap siya. "I missed you, Edna."
"Ikaw din, na miss kita, friendship." She hugged me back and after awhile, we broke away from the hug. Itinuon niya naman ang atensyon niya kay Therese na nakasiksik sa tabi ni Wayne. "Nako! Daddy's girl talaga yan anak niyo. Hindi nahiwalay sa ama. Bye na, baby Therese!"
"Bye, tita Edna!" She smiled as she chewed on the chocolate chip cookie in her hand.
"Dadalin ko ang baby ko minsan para may kalaro ka." She told the little girl.
"Bye Tanya, bye Wayne." Paalam naman ni Luis. Wayne just answered him with a nod without breaking a single smile on his face.
"Bye. Mag-ingat kayo sa pag-uwi." Paalala ko.
"You were Mommy's boyfriend before I was even born?" Tanong ni Therese kay Wayne nang makauwi na kami. Therese was a very smart kid. Hindi nakakalagpas sa kanya ang mga simpleng bagay na hindi naman dapat maintindihan pa ng mga batang ka-edad niya.
"Yeah." Wayne answered. "We were very young at that time."
"How did you meet Mommy?" She asked.
"Well... it's hard to explain."
"I'll try to understand." Sagot nito.
"Hmm, okay. Your Mommy and I met through a book."
Siniko ko siya sa sinabi niya. "Wayne!"
"What?" He tried to sound innocent but his chuckle gave him away. "Your Mommy loved reading books. We met in a bookstore."
He looked at me with a grin and I rolled my eyes at him.
"I fell in love with her the moment I saw her. She was wearing a red dress and she was so beautiful. The most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my whole life." He averted his eyes from Therese to me. I could feel the sincerity of his words. He might have made up the story of how we met but he said he felt at that time sounded so genuine.
"And you fell in love with Daddy, too?" Therese asked.
I smiled and nodded my head.
"He was my first love." The first and only.
Wayne's eyes softened as he looked at me. He pulled me to him and kissed me on the forehead and I wrapped my arms around his torso.
"But what about Papa George?" Tanong ni Therese. "Love mo din siya, right?"
"Of course... he has a special place in my heart too." I answered.
"Come on, munchkin. Time for bed." Aya ni Wayne sa bata. We took her to her bedroom, tucked her in and said our goodnights. Pagkatapos ay nagtungo na kami sa kwarto namin.
___
Sorry for stalling for over a month. I got distracted with other things. I hope you understand.