I spent the next morning cleaning my apartment and giving myself a facial, which was well deserved after a crazy week. I examined my face. My eyes shifted from my big dark brown eyes to my upturned nose, my strong jawline and my heart-shaped face. My bruises looked awful against my dark skin and I haven't been this skinny since high school. It's scary seeing myself like this. I sighed when my mind shifted to Joel. I want you, he said. But why? What could you possibly want with my stick figure looking ass? Honestly! I took a deep breath when I felt tears burn my eyes.
I dried my eyes and went to my closet for my nail kit to fill my nails and painted them yellow. Once I was done I cleaned up and texted Joey.
To: Joey❤️😍
Are you alive?
He answered a minute later.
From: Joey❤️😍
Honestly...yes, surprisingly. How are you?
To: Joey❤️😍
I'm ok, just missing you.
From: Joey❤️😍
😬you have no choice but to miss me.
I rolled my eyes.
To: Joey❤️😍
I'm ok, (just miss you is strikeout)
From: Joey❤️😍
🥺
He began spamming that emoji.
To: Joey❤️😍
Oh my gosh stop.
He continued spamming me until I FaceTimed him. He answered immediately, grinning. He was in bed and shirtless. I frowned. I checked my watch, it's 11.45 am. "It's 5:45 there...how are you already in bed?"
"I just got out of the shower when you texted. I laid down to reply and haven't gotten up since." He replied.
"Oh."
"Yeah....it's Jodie's show tonight—I should get going before she turns into Godzilla." He said, sighing.
I pouted. "Aw ok."
I laughed when he put his mouth to the speaker and sent a dozen kisses before pulling away laughing. "Muah, I'll talk to you later cutie." He said. I smiled.
"Bye goofy." I said before hanging up. I was about to go to the living room when my phone rang. "Hey Beth." I answered.
"Hi. Would you like to come grocery shopping with me?" She asked. I do I need anything? I wondered. My period should be here soon and I'm almost out of cereal.
"Yeah sure. How long until you get here?"
"I'm outside...so now." I gasped when I heard a knock. I hung up and went to the door. I opened the door and Beth stood there in an oversized, grey hoodie, black leggings, and flip flops. Her hair was tousled but it suited her. She smiled at me. "Morning!" She said when I stepped aside to let her in. A familiar scent teased my nose. I narrowed my eyes at her.
"Why do you smell like Joelle?" I asked.
She shrugged. "A little of this and a little of that." She said grinning.
"Huh?"
"Because I fucked him...is that what you want me to say?" She cornered. My eyes widened. I didn't mean to make you feel like you had to tell me....trust me, Beth I didn't need to know.
"It's just a question—jeez."
"And I'm flaunting my accomplishment." She said, twirling into the living room. Ok, I didn't expect that...must be nice. I followed her into the living room.
"How long has that been going on?"
"Not long, I mean we've been talking for a year and a half, then finally! Last night, I fucked him and I fucked him good." She said, sitting on the couch dramatically. "I know you can't relate—you're basically on your way to blue clit by the rate you're going." She teased. Beth!
"Shut up," I whined. She giggled.
"We need to get you laid, Bre." She said kicking off her flip flops.
"I don't need sex...I'm perfectly fine—I mean it's too soon for a romantic relationship especially a sexual one," I stated.
"I get what you're saying but you can't use 'I just got out of an abusive relationship' excuse forever." She said. Beth is the only other person that knows about Brandon, the reasoning being she caught me trying to cover up my bruises in the bathroom when I started working at Spectrum, 4 years ago. She tried to get me to go to the police but I couldn't do that to Brandon. She told me about her sister, who was going through the same thing and we've clicked ever since. "If you keep yourself in that box for too long, it's going to be hell getting out. Sarah did that and look at her.... wasting her youth and letting her crotch collect dust and cobwebs." Sarah is Beth's younger sister by a year, Beth is three years older than I am. I rolled my eyes, sighing.
"But I do need time—"
"Of course you do." She said and took my hands in hers. "I don't want you to push away someone that can make you happy. Ok?" I nodded. "Good! We're going shopping tomorrow, it's Joelle's and foot face's birthday on Tuesday and I wanna look hot for when he introduces me to his family!"
"Their birthday is Tuesday?" I whispered more to myself. Should I get Joel something? I should...I mean he's been so kind to me—and it's the least I could do to show my appreciation.
"Did Joel invite you to the party?" She asked. I shook my head. I don't blame him especially after how I've treated him this past week. "Oh...I'm sure Joelle wouldn't mind if you came with us."
I shook my head. "No. It's ok—you don't have to do that." I told her. "If Joel wanted me there he would've invited me—"
"Yeah but it's Joelle's birthday too, I doubt he'd mind." She insisted.
I shook my head. "It's fine, Beth...I don't mind staying home." I said firmly.
"Are you sure?" I nodded. "Ok fine...let's go to the store."
"Lemme take a quick shower first," I said. Her face fell.
"You haven't showered yet!"
"Nope," I said, running to the bathroom.
After my shower, we went to the Morton Williams on 2nd Avenue. We were picking up some apples when a voice said. "Hello ladies." Beth and I looked up and saw Dean. He wore his hair in a small bun on top of his head. Beth and I looked at each other then at him when he smiled.
"No hard feelings about yesterday right Dean?" Beth asked nervously.
"Of course not—I know Joel put you up to it," he said as his eyes flickered to me, "he wants Aubrey for himself." Maybe but you do suck at your job...wait what? I frowned.
"What makes you say that?" I asked.
"It's pretty obvious," Dean said.
"Extremely." Beth said under her breath and rolled her eyes. I frowned. You're bad at your job and that's all there is to it. Joel knows—he knows there will never be an us.
"Hm." I sighed.
"Anyway, a couple of my friends and I are having a get together on Tuesday...would you like to come, Aubrey?" He asked. That took me by surprise. He's asking me out?"Beth?"
"N—"
"She would love to!" Beth interrupted me. "I have plans but Aubrey is free." I shot daggers at her.
I looked at Dean when he said. "Aubrey, would you like to come? It's fine if you don't." He said still smiling. Well, then no.
I was going to say no when Beth pinched my side. "Y-yes." I gritted through my teeth. She stopped and Dean grinned.
"Excellent. Let me give you my number." He said. We exchanged numbers. "Do you need a ride? If so I can pick you up at 8."
"Yeah.... sounds great." I lied, I didn't care how cartoony I sound..
"Well, I gotta run, see you ladies." He said. I smiled and nodded.
"Bye Dean," Beth said, grinning. I mocked her mentally. As soon as he disappeared around the corner I turned to her. Pissed. "No cobwebs for Aubrey! Yay!" She cheered.
"I'm not going to sleep with him!" I yelled. People looked at us but I didn't care.
"Ok then don't...I just want you to get out and have some fun." She said.
"I can have fun on my own," I said as we walked towards the deli.
"You mean die alone." She said under her breath.
"What was that?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at her.
"Nothing!"
-
The next morning, a loud banging woke me. I frowned looking at my watch, it's 6:15 am. You got to be fucking kidding me. I jumped out of bed and march to the door. I looked through the peephole and saw Joel. My heart skipped a beat. I looked again to make sure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me. What are you doing here! Couldn't you have given me a couple hours to freshen up at least? I slowly backed into the bedroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. I pulled my hair into a ponytail before I walked back to the door. I took a deep breath before I opened it.
I wasn't expecting his reaction...I'm not going to lie. He narrowed his eyes at me, smirking. We stood there staring at each other, I looked down at myself. Fuck, I should have changed my underwear. I need to start wearing pyjamas. "You ran to brush your teeth, didn't you?" He questioned. I stared at him like he was crazy.
"Why-why-why would you think that?" I asked with my hands on my hips.
He shrugged. "I saw your shadow beneath the door." He replied, cocking his head. Damn it!
"That could have been anything." I cornered. He looked amused.
"Like what?"
"A curtain duh," I replied. Wait....there's no curtains in the foyer. Fuck.
"Yeah, curtain huh? Wow... they're very nice to look at especially....since they're nonexistent, hun" He said, smirking.
"Shut up," I said. He chuckled.
"Good morning, by the way." He said as he slipped his hands in his pockets. He looked hot in his navy suit and tie with a powder pink shirt. He took me in very slowly.
"Morning," I said. We stared at each other for a long while. Bite your lip. What, no! Are you crazy?! A little yeah. Well, go be crazy somewhere else! I will...under him. Shut up. "What-what are you doing here?" I asked, breaking the silence.
"I came to pick you up for work and—uh—apologize for the day before." He stated which took me by surprise. Apologize? Do you regret it? I mean...it wasn't how I pictured telling you off would end up but I do want you Joel and I can't say....I regret Saturday. I loved every minute of it. "My behaviour was inappropriate and I hope we can get past this without it affecting our relationship." He added. I stared at him, he kept his face neutral and his posture relaxed. I wanted to know what he's thinking. Did he regret it or not? Damn it Joel, give me a sign.
"Why would you think that?" I asked.
He folded his arms. "Oh...where do I start?" He said dramatically. I rolled my eyes. Oh gosh, forget I asked. "Oh...right—last Wednesday; you kissed me. Key word: you kiss me. I was like: whoa where did this come from... ou! What a beautiful moment then boom Aubrey runs away and lies about being sick and eventually gets sick just to avoid the little stunt she pulled." He replied, a hint of irritation was evident in his tone. I was going to deny but what was there to deny?
I made a face at him. "Ok. You didn't have to say it like that." I whined.
"I have to because there's something here....and I know you feel it too. I don't want whatever that is to ruin any chance for us to become friends." He said. Aw, just friends—Bre stop.
"Friends?"
He nodded. "Yeah....if you're ok with that?" He asked. No, I'm not but I will rather be friends than us being strictly professional. I mean, I like you and I want to fuck—shut up!
I took a step closer and grabbed his tie, yanking him inside. He chuckled, closing the door behind him. "Yeah, I'm fine with that." I answered.
"Good." He whispered with a small smile. I smiled back. We stared at each other and the deeper we looked into each other's eyes then more that something was pulling us closer until I was getting on my tiptoes and his head began to dip, close enough for a kiss. I could tell he was fighting not to touch me but when he finally lift his hand to my face, everything told me that clothes were coming off. "Boop." He said, poking my left dimple. Oh....false alarm. I slapped his hand away. He laughed.
"Did you put it there!" I hissed, pointing at my dimple.
"No."
"Then you're not allowed to touch it," I said sticking my tongue out at him. I gasped when he grabbed me, pulling me into him before biting my cheek, softly. "Joel!" I protested. He stopped and grinned at me. So....this is us being friends? "You have one too, you know." His smile fell and he stood up straight.
"So? You have two. But my question is...do you think you can reach mine shorty?" He teased. I rolled my eyes. I think I like us being friends.
"Whatever, I'm going to get ready," I said he chuckled as I walked away. I found myself smiling.
I walked out of the bedroom and into the empty living room. I gasped when I heard a small thud from behind. I turned and saw Joel in the kitchen without his jacket. His muscles contracted up beneath his shirt as he made coffee. For some perverted reason, I imagined him shirtless and in his boxes. I bit my lip. Bre stop. I tossed my bag on the couch beside his jacket and walked toward him.
He handed me a mug and took a sip from his. He made a face and threw his coffee in the sink. "I need to get you some real coffee." He grumbled, washing his mug. "I thought I could give instant coffee a try but I can't stomach it." He said.
I took another sip. "It taste fine to me." I said into my mug. He leaned against the sink and folded his arms. He watched me for a moment.
"Let me see your hand." He said. I gave him my left. He studied my hand with a sneer.
"I hate that I like this colour on you." He grumbled under his breath. "Are you done?" He asked.I nodded despite having taken four sips. He took my mug and washed it. "Let's go." He said and walked to the living room. I followed him. He picked up his jacket and my purse and went for the door.
-
We were sitting on a couch in his office eating breakfast sandwiches and watching Jodie's fashion show on her IG when he turned to me. He secured my legs on his lap as he tossed a napkin on the coffee table. "How's your sex book going?" He asked and smiled when I whined.
"It's erotica."
"Erotica is just a pretty name for it but it is still a Sex book." He said, smiling. I rolled my eyes. Whatever.
"It's...going ok but—uh—the lovemaking scenes....are giving me a bit of a headache though."
"How so?" He asked and gave me his full attention. The look he gave me screamed....say the word and I'll take you on this couch. I bit my lip. I don't mind if you don't...Aubrey stop. You know what—I'm ordering a toy as soon as I get home.. He freed my lip. "Stop that." He said huskily.
"Sorry."
"How so, hun?" He asked, I shrugged.
"I don't know...I just feel weird writing dick, cock, pussy, and whatever else then I have to comb my brain to find ways to not make the scenes feel repetitive." I started." "It's a headache."
"Can I suggest something?" He asked. I nodded. "Whenever you feel that way take a step back and relax," he said, "and here's a fix for your sex scene problem." I gasped when he pulled me by my leg. His hand hovered over my side, my breast and my neck before it fell to my knee. "Think about how you'd want John or Johnny Depp or whoever to touch you." He whispered. He kept his gaze low as he spoke. How I'd want you to touch me?
"How do I want to be touched?" I asked bluntly. He nodded. Like you always do, strong but gently.
He brushed my bottom lip with his thumb. "Imagine him looking deep into your eyes—you can feel the lust in the air...the passion. Write about it." He whispered huskily. "Describe how it would make you feel, how in sync your breathing and heart beating is with his. Imagine the chills you get when he kisses your lips or neck. Do you get goosebumps?" He cradled my head. His face is centimetres from mine, his eyes fixated on my lips. Our breathing was in sync.
I nodded. "Yes." I said softly.
"Think about his behaviour...is he dominant or submissive." He whispered. "Most women prefer a dominant man, do you?" I nodded, mindlessly. Yes!
"Y-y-yes," I whispered after swallowing a lump in my throat. "I like a man that knows how to take charge," I whispered.
"How does he hold you?"
"One hand around my waist," I replied.
"And the other?" He questioned.
"At my nape."
"Are you picturing it?" He asked huskily as he placed his hands where I mentioned. I shivered, nodding.
"What do I do with my hands," I asked him equally as huskily. He looked into my eyes briefly.
"Gently caress his ear and run your fingers through his hair," he whispered.
I let my pinky brush his ear and glided my fingers into his hair. He closed his eyes for a moment. "Like this?" I asked.
"Yes." He replied moments later.
"Then what—" a knock on the door cut me off. Go away. Joel tore his attention from me to the door.
"Joelle?" He called.
"Ya." Joelle answered. Joel got to his feet and went to the door. The moment the door opened Joelle's eyes met mine. He smirked."Locked door? Papi without a jacket? What were you two doing?" I blushed.
"Talking," Joel replied.
"Hm right." Joelle teased. "Anyways, Kimberly is here." Kimberly? Who's that?
"Shit, it's 8:30 already?" he questioned checking his watch, "fuck...ok, I'll be down soon."
"Why not now." Joelle questioned, smirking. "You have more 'talking' to do?"
"Get the fuck out," Joel said, rolling his eyes. Joelle winked at me and left. Joel sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets. I got on my knees and leaned over the arm of the couch.
"Is something wrong?" I asked as he walked toward me.
"No, we have an long meeting to attend."
"Why wasn't I aware of this meeting?" I questioned. He smirked.
"Because you were being a punk after you kissed me." He replied. I rolled my eyes. Oh shut up.
"What's this meeting about?"
"My brothers, Kimberly, and I will be discussing security and further renovations for Spectrum." He replied, brushing a strand of hair off my forehead.
"Oh. Who's Kimberly?" I questioned dryly.
"My older brother's girlfriend." He said.
"Oh."
"Yeah. Put on your shoes and let's go." He said.
"Do I have to go?" I whined.
"Yes."
"Can I run some errands instead?" I asked. He raised a brow at me.
"What kind of errands?" He asked, narrowing his eyes. I'm going to get you something for your birthday.
"Some...uh...things for—my period!" I blurted. Nice one Bre! A bit too loud but nice one.
"Oh."
"Yeah my cycle changed—"
"No need to explain." He interrupted. "Ok be careful."
"I will."
"So you would me to take you—"
"No, I'm good thanks." I cut him off, putting on my shoes.
-
I shuffled to his office with my box of gifts. I knocked on the door and a few minutes later he opened the door with a frown. He looked tired. "It took you four hours to buy tampons?" He asked, taking the box from me. "Did you buy the whole store?" He asked, walking towards the couch and putting the box on the coffee table before flopping onto the couch. He kicked off his shoes and sighed .
"I needed a specific brand." I stated.
"Hm."
"How was the meeting?" I asked and accidentally slammed the door on my finger. "Ow!" I wailed. Joel jumped up and rushed over.
"Are you ok? What happened?" He asked.
"I slammed the door on my finger," I wailed as a tear rolled down my cheek. He wiped it away and examined my finger. The nail on my index finger had broken off and had taken a small chunk of nail from my nail bed. " Do you have a band-aid?" I asked softly.
"In my first aid kit." He replied and took my other hand and led me to his desk. He trimmed the nail and cleaned my wound before wrapping a band-aid around my finger. To my surprise he placed a gentle kiss on it.
"There...all better." He whispered.
"Thank you."
"No problem." He whispered.
"You have anything for me to do?"
"Clear the rest if my schedule." He replied.
"Ok. I'll get right on that." I told him.