Eliza POV
Once again, another school day goes by without a word from Harry. It's now Friday, I haven't seen him since Monday when I caught him with a girl.
Granted, I don't really know what was going on. All I know is that he went behind my back to be with this mystery girl, and she was holding his hand.
But why do it in the open? Where anyone could see and come tell me? Why blatantly have zero regard for our relationship?
+
As I bid Julie goodbye after the last bell of the day, I walk to my car. All week Sebastian has been keeping me company when Julie can't. He truly is a nice guy, and he knows how I feel about Harry. So he hasn't tried to make a pass at me either.
"So what're you gonna do about Harry?" he asks from beside me.
I shrug. "Honestly, I don't know. I haven't heard from him all week..." I trail off, biting on my lower lip in hopes of keeping the tears at bay.
So far I've cried everyday this week. The worst part about this is that it's so close to Christmas, only a week away. I can't stand that he has ruined the Christmas spirit for me.
"I think you should call him." Sebastian says. "Just see what happens."
Once at my car I unlock it to throw my bag in the back seat.
"Yeah, I guess. Probably tomorrow though." I sigh deeply, turning to look up at him. "Thank you for everything though." I smile.
"Of course." he leans down to embrace me in a warm hug, which I can't help but lean into.
It's been a while since I've felt real comfort.
"Call if you need me." he smiles one last time before heading in the direction of his own vehicle.
I quickly get in my car and pull out of the school parking lot. Making the drive home I decide I will call Harry tonight. Might as well get it over with.
+
During the drive it started to rain, which is exactly the kind of weather I needed to accompany my dreary mood.
As I pull into my drive way, I am surprised to see the familiar black SUV parked in front of my house.
I get out of the car, grab my bag and walk to my door where I find Harry sitting on the steps.
"What're you doing here?" I ask slowly.
"We need to talk."
"Okay. Do you wanna come inside? It's cold out and kind of raining." I laugh at myself.
"No. It's better we have this conversation out here."
My heart drops to my stomach. My breath caught in my throat. I know what he wants to say. I nod my head.
" Just say it. Say that you don't want to be with me anymore so I can go inside. Just say it."
"There's just things going on Liz-"
"I don't need a lame excuse. Just say it please."
"Believe me, I want to tell you why."
"Then tell me."
"I can't."
"So leave. Break up with me and leave."
"I can't be with you anymore Elizabeth."
Even though I knew it was coming, it's like the wind was knocked out of me.
I nod my head. "Alrighty then. You should probably leave now." I say, trying my best to not cry in front of him.
"I'm sorry." he says before walking past me and towards his car.
I turn to watch him leave me. Before I know what I'm doing, I'm shouting over the rain at him.
"I love you."
He stops walking when he hears me.
"I was going to come see you and tell you that. But I guess I should have known better." I laugh bitterly through the tears.
I stand there, in the rain and crying, as I wait for him to reply. He stands there for a minute before climbing in his truck and driving away.
I watch as he leaves, my heart breaking to pieces with each passing second.
I stand there for what felt like an hour, staring at where he turned down the street and away from me. I stand there crying, being soaked by the rain and feeling like I should have always expected this.
It hurts.
+
2 months later...
I walk into Dr.Blake's office building, hugging my coat tighter around me. It's mid February so there is still a brisk chill.
Last week I decided to cut my hair. I chopped it off to about shoulder length. My long hair just reminded me of every time he would run his fingers through it.
I felt uncomfortable in every class I shared with him, I felt he was staring. I though my hair cut would change that. But it didn't.
So now, here I sit on a Tuesday afternoon. Dr.Blake recommend I come in twice a week because of how I've been feeling. I guess it's her way to make sure I don't hurt myself.
"Elizabeth, she's ready for you." the sweet receptionist says.
I nod my head before getting up to walk into the office. I sit down on the couch and shrug off my coat, sitting it beside me. Once I'm all situated I receive a warm smile from Dr.Blake.
"Elizabeth," Dr.Blake begins but I quickly interrupt.
"Please, just Eliza. It is only Eliza now, remember?" I explain as I look up from my small hands. My shoulder length brown hair slightly covers my face, but not enough to hide my empty and dull eyes.
"Right, of course. Eliza, how are you today?" she asks politely while opening up my file.
"Today is good. This week has been better, I suppose."
"How is school?"
"School is school. The regular hell." I claim pushing strands behind my ear.
"Any new friends?" she urges.
"Dr. Blake, I've been seeing you since I was thirteen, that's three years that you have known me. The only friend I have is Julie, I've spoken about her before. She's all I have left." I reply quietly. "I am thinking about going on independent study for the rest of the year."
"And why is that?" my therapist asks.
"There are people I no longer want to associate with, by that I mean I don't want to sit in hour long lessons with certain people staring at me and making me uncomfortable. I don't want to walk through my school halls knowing certain people are following me and watching what I am doing or where I am going. It makes me uncomfortable and unhappy and I do not want it anymore, Dr. Blake." I say in one breath, about ready to rip my hair out at the thought of him.
"Elizabe- Eliza, is everything alright?" she questions, leaning forward in her chair.
"I believe I've reached my breaking point, Dr. Blake."
+
4 months later...
"He asked about you today." Julie says from beside me. "Wanted to know where you were."
"And what did you say?" I ask quietly as I pick at my nails.
"I didn't say anything. Sebastian did. He told him it wasn't his job to worry about you anymore."
"How did he take it?"
"It looked like they were about to get in a fight over it. He cares about you Liz." she says.
I have no doubt she is referring to both Harry and Sebastian when she says this.
"If Harry really cared about me, he wouldn't have done what he did. And I told Sebastian I care about him too. But even if I cared enough in the way he wants me too, I am nowhere near ready to try anything with him."
"I know. I keep telling him that, I think he just doesn't understand why." Julie says as she looks over at me.
"Neither do I. All I know is that he broke me."
"What's the present for?" she asks, pointing at the neatly wrapped box with a bow that is sitting on the coffee table in front of us.
"It's his birthday today." I smile sadly. "I bought it for him."
"And the one next to it with Christmas trees on it?"
"That was his Christmas present." I sigh deeply.
"Oh Liz..."
I look up at her from my slouched position on the couch. "He broke me Julie. He broke me and I still have his fucking birthday and Christmas present. I still have his sweatshirts that smell like him and his cd's and all of our pictures. I have everything and I don't know what to do with it Julie. I don't know what to do with myself." I cry.
I sit there crying as my best friend holds me, because she doesn't know what to do with me either.
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