I brought this upon myself.
This heartbreak that I'm standing outside my own apartment door, trying to guess the passcode. Even my fingerprint is disabled from the lock; that's the way that she's controlling the game that we play.
The place where my IV needle had stabbed into doesn't feel pain anymore, or at least, it's not as painful as her locking me out of here.
The security guard tried to help me, but he was met with as equal disappointment as I was. All he did when he left back downstairs was a shake of his head, and a brief good luck.
The neighbors all gave me a look when they were on their way home; and I had nowhere to go. This elderly woman even wanted to invite me to have dinner at her home with her husband; I politely said no thank you and she gave me a nod and a poor boy.
Finally, she rode up the elevator and I had fallen asleep on the white marbled ground. She unlocked the door and shook me awake.
I think I faintly woke up and tried to walk to the sofa, and just collapsed there for the night.
In the morning, she was beside me- in my arms, just like the olden days. I had to make sure I wasn't dreaming- I lightly tried to move my feet and my arms and even pinched my own cheeks. I was definitely not dreaming: she was next to me on the sofa. I inspected her a little- her closed eyes, her long eyelashes, her silky hair all hidden behind her fears to fall in love- in love with me- all over again.
If I ever had the courage to say that I was sorry, perhaps we'd rekindle. Perhaps our fire would light up again.
All I could blame was my ego was big as as a mansion.
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the semester has begun... and I have work to do again. :(
I hope these updates are finding you well and I would like to thank everyone for sticking by this so far!
x