I can't cry. I just can't.
I need to find another house for me to live in. My aunt and I fought hard that I can't live with her anymore. My older cousin keep crying when she saw me leave that apartment and I went through the night.
I don't know where to go. But I can't stay. I can't take anymore insults and words that hurt me a lot. But I just can't cry. It's over. No words can't hurt me anymore.
I'm still wearing my white and green uniform, I didn't have a chance to change my clothes. I just went through.
"Think harder, Lei'!" As i talked to myself. I just can't find the right words to say to myself but I can't cry. I passed by the store that night. I hardly felt scared that 9 o'clock p.m. when my cellphone beeps.
"Hey!, what' happened?!", Lhen texted me worriedly. I am sure my cousin let her know what happened.
"Can I go to your flat? Pls. I don't know where else will I go", I replied hopelessly.
"Of course! Come' on! I will be there outside the gate, just let me know when you're here! Take care!", Lhen responsed.
After 5 mins. I arrived near their gate, Lhen approched me as she welcoming me in her pad. I stayed silent, until she broke it. "Hey, what's happened? I know you've been suffering enough under you aunt's roof, you can stay here anytime you want", she said.
"I really don't know, why she always treated me like that? I'm helping with the dishes, and the stuffs, I tried to pleased her when I just feel she had her bad days", I replied. "You know how tired I am, after school, I made myself busy with this choir which I am enjoying, we keep practicing right after my class in the afternoon. So i went home late" I melted.
My friend just listening to my rant. And I really appreciate it. All i need now, is someone who listens to me and understands me.
"You know what?, I can't take her attitude anymore!, It's a mental stress! I wanted to maintain my high grades, I wanted to stay as Dean's lister coz' it will help my parents that 50% discount on my tuition. But it's just hard to focused when someone always put you down, when she always do that "hurt thing" she always say about me. I just can't take it anymore. I Fought back! For how many years I stayed with her, I fought her back by throwing such hard words at her. I am not regretting it. She disrespected me, so did I", I said angrily. I never get angry, just now.
"That's Ok, sis. I Feel you. You don't have to stay with her but you must let your parents know what happened. I know they will understand you and support you whatever your decisions will be", gladly she replied after I rant.
"Thanks Lhen, maybe I can find a dormitory near our school, I can't stay here neither. All your cousins are living here, there's no space left for me here but can I stay only for this night, and I need you to help me find a dormitory, is it okay?", I said gratefully. I know she can't refused me now.
"Anytime!, what friends are for, right?", she said joyfully.
Honestly, I feel free right now. All I wanted was to be free from that cruel word. "You will not be a successful nurse, remember that! If you haven't stay with your aunt!", I heard those voices coming from my head where My father always used to say.
"No! No one in this world have the right to say that. My aunt do not hold my future?!", I whispered to myself.
And that's how strong-willed will I be...