Lying in bed my thoughts were going wild.
Flashes of the night before still going through my mind.
And guess what.
I had enjoyed the night after all. Kinda.
Damon had kissed me in front of the restroom (not very romantic, I know) with his hands nearly slipping under my dress, caught up in the moment and forgetting our surroundings.
Not long after, with a lot of self restraint, he had managed to stop himself before things got... too inappropriate...
He then led me back to the dance hall where he convinced the others that we should go to a restaurant to eat something instead.
He spoke to them, calm and collected like nothing had ever happened, while I stood there, face probably flushed while trying to hide my swollen kissed lips and avoiding Mavis' questions on why I had taken so long.
We ended up visiting a Chinese restaurant, ordered a whole load of food and surprisingly consumed it all.
Werewolves.
What do you expect?
Damon paid for all our expenses with a shiny silver credit card and then at around 11pm we started heading back home.
We got home at around 12am and everyone went back to their respective homes.
I had barely managed to close the door when Damon attacked me again with a kiss.
Not that you're complaining though.
He kissed me soft and yet firm at the same time and I didn't know what was happening to him.
But I didn't care.
And I kissed him back, wholeheartedly.
At least, with what was left of my heart.
He had carried me upstairs to my room and gently placed me on my bed.
He followed almost immediately, having thrown his jacket aside and was on top of me, supporting some of his body weight with his right arm as his left hand slid under my dress again.
I could feel his hand cool against the hot skin of my belly, gradually trailing up. My mind was a haze and I couldn't really focus on anything but him at that moment.
So suffice it to say, I instantly felt the unwelcome loss of contact the moment his hand slipped out of my dress.
In that moment he pulled back abruptly, eyes wide and glowing, like he was in shock. For the first time actually realising where this was headed.
As was I.
He got up from me and stood at the foot of the bed regarding me with what seemed like a torrent of emotions deep within his eyes.
Then he suddenly told me to sleep and rushed out of my room.
Leaving me flushed, flustered and frustrated on my bed.
All at the same time.
And now here I am, 2:35am and I still can't sleep.
I could still feel my lips burning with the stinging sensation of his lips on mine. And I found myself actually wanting more.
I shook my head clear.
What was happening to me?
I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep but I tried to at least shut my eyes and drift off eventually.
And in the distance it was like I could hear a loud distressed howl...
***
I got up early the next morning, at around 9am, I know its not really early but it is to me, and I decided to make breakfast.
I had already been to Latifah's room and had realized that the poor woman is still sound asleep on her bed, so I decided to help her out today.
I made my way to the kitchen, brought out some bowls, pans and plates and let my limited cooking skills take the lead.
Now, where are the bacon and eggs...
I successfully finished making breakfast by the time Damon lazily trotted down the stairs in just his pajama bottoms.
His hair was messy and he just looked so ruffled up. He was using the heels of his palms to rub his eyes, no doubt still feeling sleepy as he let out a yawn.
His eyes adjusted to the light and then they landed on me.
I smiled slightly at him in greeting.
"Morning, I made breakfast?" I said raising my tone a bit at the end hoping he'd say something. After last night, I just felt like ten times more awkward in front of him.
He looked surprised for a moment and stared at me blankly for a while.
He just stood like that until he blinked himself out of it and then he nodded slightly.
I turned off the stove as I took out the last pieces of bacon and then set them on the table. I watched him as he approached the counter and sat on one of the stools. From up close I could see the slight bags under his eyes, he mustn't have gotten any sleep last night.
Or for a couple of days now.
He grabbed a plate, served himself and started eating.
Very slowly.
Concentrating way too much on the alignment of bacon and toast on his plate.
He seemed to be in deep thought.
I sat on a chair opposite him and ate my food observing him quietly, not knowing what exactly to say. Even more than before. I wasn't really sure where we stood at the moment.
"Where's my mother?" He asked me after a while of silence.
"She's still sleeping, I guess." Then he nodded and returned to his food.
More awkward silence. Well, for me anyway.
I couldn't help but notice the red bruise lines that were all over his wrists, biceps and on further inspection and a little neck stretching, even the lower part of his torso.
What has he been up to?
I was just about to enquire when Latifah stepped into the kitchen.
"Oh my, why thank you dear for making breakfast, I guess I overslept." Latifah said slightly chuckling to herself. She was still in her purple floral morning coat, her hair in a messy bun, tendrils flying all over the place.
"Don't worry about it, its my pleasure." I smiled at her handing her a cup of tea.
Damon let out a breath and stood up.
He had already cleared his plate which was a bit surprising since he was eating so slowly, almost distractedly.
Did he inhale the rest when I wasn't looking?
Obviously he didn't and couldn't answer my mental questions so he just proceeded to the sink to wash his plate.
As he made his way back up the stairs I could see the faint red lines around his ankles too. Now I was really curious.
And from the way Latifah was looking at him, I believe she was staring at the marks too.
She clenched her jaw slightly.
"Damon, this madness has to end now." She almost growled.
Madness? What madness?
But she also, couldn't answer my mental unasked questions.
Damon merely paused in his step, but then he continued on walking up the stairs.
She sighed and shook her head slowly.
"Why, whats going on?" I asked her deciding to voice out my thoughts, looking at Damon's retreating figure.
He was now back in his room.
"The moon is making it's pull again."
She didn't need to say more.
I understood perfectly well.
The moon's way of making sure that the mating process gets completed. He's going through Lunar Calor again.
"But it gets worse each time, and this is the third time. And I know he's hurting himself deeply. But he's so stubborn. He should just give in and complete it." She shook her head slowly while muttering to herself at the end of her statement.
Third time?
Already?
Wow. How did I miss it? And if it's worse than what I saw the last time, I really don't want to imagine what is happening this time.
Why does it hurt so much?
Natural order. He's going against the natural order with every passing day that you two leave the bond only halfway through completion.
I sighed.
"Oh gosh dear, I don't mean to put any pressure on you or make you uncomfortable." She suddenly sprung on me, her eyes wide.
Pressure on me? To do what?
Do 'it' with Damon.
Ohh...
Oh.
That.
I didn't know what to say to her but she was looking at me like a child I'd just caught using a bad word she wasn't supposed to. I tried to put her at ease.
"Oh, don't worry, it's not a problem." I said and immediately realised that that had come out wrong.
I meant, her implying it isn't exactly a problem but actually doing it might be, I'm not sure yet.
You didn't seem so unsure last night.
Shut up.
Her worried face melted right off and she smiled slightly taking a sip of her tea. "Good to know." She said it lowly but I still caught it. Blood rushed to my face.
Damn ambiguity!
"How come I don't go through the 'heat'?" I asked her trying to change the topic but realising that I still wanted to know more about it.
"He's a male Alpha, he's possessive. You feel it too but just not as much as he does. Aside that, the time will come when you shall go through your own heat. Your body's way of preparing you for offspring." She said sipping her tea and smiling at me in that suspicious way again.
I could almost see her pupils spelling out the word 'grand' 'kids'.
Offspring?
Now I was sure that my face was totally red.
Woah, it's way too early to be talking about that.
Too early. Far too early.
I cleared my plate then I washed it off in the sink.
"I'm- I'm just going to freshen up now." I told Latifah and her knowing smile and fled upstairs.
******
"Did James ever experience heat?" I asked Mavis who was busy munching on a snickers bar.
I had come over here as soon as I'd taken a shower.
Mavis was alone since James had some issues to attend to with Marcus.
"Uhm well, not really because we,... you know... early... " she fumbled for words.
I held my hands up to her signalling her that its okay.
I do not want to re-live that day...
Oh my poor eyes.
As if reading my thoughts Mavis blushed and looked down on her bed.
That same bed...
Snap out of it!
This is not the issue at hand .
"Besides, James is not an Alpha. From what I know, Lunar Calor happens only to Alphas, to make sure that there will be an heir as soon as the mate is found. Although it happens very rarely."
"Mavis, I don't know what to do anymore." I groaned falling back down on the couch.
She sat up and faced me.
"Adriane, permit me to be honest with you... but the only way to put him out of his misery is to... you know... get down..." she tried to elaborate further with a slight gesture of interlocking her fingers and clapping the heels of her palms together.
If I hadn't been so nervous I would have rolled my eyes.
"You mean, like sleep with him?"
She just nodded.
I swallowed.
"It's the only way." Since when did she become an expert?
I slowly shook my head and stood up.
I needed space to think.
"I think I'll head home now. I'll see you tomorrow."
***
What to do?
I couldn't even go home.
I just couldn't.
I know by now Damon is chained and locked up in his dungeon whilst groaning and shouting from the pain.
And I wouldn't be able to bear it.
Because its beginning to affect me.
And this would go on for one or two days more.
I sighed.
I want to help you Damon.
I really do.
But I don't think I can.
Not in the way you need.
I'm not ready for that yet.
I don't think I am.
Am I?
I mean last night I was so into it, I might have gone through with it, if it wasn't for him pulling back.
When I'm on my own, the thought of sleeping with him or anyone else for that matter freaks me out. I haven't even had a boyfriend before.
I have no idea what I'm even supposed to do in the bedroom.
But then there are times when I'm in a haze like last night and all I want is him. I start wanting things I didn't even know I was craving for.
You and this damn bond always make my mind hazy when I'm around him.
It's not fair.
Please, go to him.
I can't.
They're hurting.
I know, I am too.
He doesn't want to hurt you.
Not more than he already has?
He's the reason my life has been the way it is.
Which for the most part wasn't awful, even nice, but recently has been too much of a turmoil to keep up with.
Physically and emotionally.
He killed my birth parents. And it's very strange having to deal with a loss of something you never even knew you had. I just don't know how to feel about it.
I don't even understand why I give him the time of day.
I should hate him.
But I can't.
Its because you love him.
Love?
No.
I may feel something, which by the way is your fault, but it definitely ain't love.
...I can't love...
No, I can't love him.
At this rate, he'd be dead before you ever even try.
I did say that I was going to do my best to get past this, try and move on, one day at a time.
I sighed again.
Then I had a sudden tight feeling in my chest. I could feel it hurt, but not physically, which was weird.
He's getting worse. They're getting worse.
I know.
But there's nothing I can do for him.
You need to help him. Please. I'm hurting...
Fine.
I am going to talk to him like a civilized being and help him get through it.
Yep.
Talking through your problems is always the best solution.
At least that sounds like a plan.
***
It was already getting dark as I approached the house.
I expected to hear the sounds of growling and howling as I approached... but there was nothing.
Complete eerie silence.
I gulped.
Okay, its nothing to worry about.
I'm sure they've sedated him.
What if he's dead?
No he isn't!
Shut up.
I got to the house and opened the front door.
It was pitch black inside.
Not a single light on.
Oh no.
Something must have happened.
I turned the light switch on and turned to face the living room which looked...
Completely normal?
Huh.
Nothing was out of place.
I shook my head and closed the door.
It looked like no one was at home.
Even Latifah wasn't here by the looks of it.
Confused, I walked up to the door that led to the basement dungeon.
It was locked.
They have definitely planned on keeping me out tonight.
James did tell me that they had fixed a sound proof room down there.
I'm sure that's why I can't hear anything. I guess I'll just have to talk to him in the morning.
Maybe it's better this way. If I see him I might give in to him.
I might also do it more for my sake rather than his and just convince myself I'm doing it solely to end his pain.
I'm not sure if I want to, but I'm also not sure that I don't.
Deciding to get myself some microwave pizza from the fridge to eat, I headed towards the kitchen.
But just before I got to the kitchen, I noticed something under the staircase.
It was a bit dark there so I had to approach it to have a better look.
I took about six hesitant steps, squinted my eyes and realized it was a hand.
I froze slightly.
Then I sprinted up to it and there under the staircase they lay.
James and Marcus.
Either knocked out or dead.
I hope it is the former rather than the latter.
What the hell happened?
Oh my God, is Damon okay?
What if he's also hurt?
Where is he?
I looked further but concluded that it was only the two of them here.
Whoever did this must be quite strong to knock this beta and gamma out all at the same time.
And the person could still be around...
I froze.
I could possibly be in danger.
Survival instincts 101.
I need to get out of here.
Fast.
Then I started to slowly retrace my steps back to the front door, trying not to make unnecessary noise.
But then suddenly all the lights went out, and I was blind.
I was in complete darkness.
And all too suddenly I felt vulnerable and my senses were on high alert.
I had to hold in my gasp when I heard footsteps approach me from behind.
They thudded lightly on the carpeted ground beneath us, but I could still hear them.
I wanted to hide.
But I didn't know where.
I couldn't see past my own eyelids.
I was scared, but I could feel my wolf lay calmly within me.
She was trying to get me killed again!
I made a move towards the stairs, I think, but I was caught and pulled back flush against someone's chest.
I stopped breathing.
I couldn't even scream.
It was dark and I couldn't see, but I could feel him.
And his voice just confirmed all my thoughts.
He bundled my all hair in his hand and moved it aside to my right shoulder and buried his head in the crook of my neck.
His hot breath making my neck tingly.
Then he kissed my spot.
Where the mark was.
Slowly running his lips across the sensitive skin.
Weird jolts of electricity ran through me and I almost moaned.
Almost.
But I clasped my mouth shut.
I could feel him smile against my skin.
"You're not escaping me tonight."