Author's Note: This is the third book in a series so if you haven't read the previous books, you might want to check them out. "Maybe Forever" is first book, "You, for Me, Forever" is second book. Enjoy! Thanks for reading!!!
Demi
It took a long time to stop thinking about Nick, everyday, after our goodbye in L.A. I missed him so much. I was thankful, I was able to keep busy with traveling, the Xfactor & then my tour in 2014. Nick did come to a show on the Neon Lights tour, but he didn't come backstage or even tell me he was coming. I imagined it was because he didn't want me & Olivia to meet. I was fine with that because I wasn't sure I could handle them live in person. Seeing them on tv or online was bad enough.
I tried really hard to be happy with Wilmer, but I compared him to Nick all the time. I loved Wilmer, but I couldn't love him the way I loved Nick. I loved Wilmer as my best friend, but never felt like my love was deep for him. It always felt like he was just my best friend. Our sex life was awesome, however. It was just sex for me. It was never intense like it was with Nick. It was never sensual or intimate the way it was with Nick. It was mostly physical with Wilmer. I tried to look into his eyes once & I couldn't do it. I felt awkward & thought his faces looked weird. Once I almost busted out laughing when I opened my eyes to look at him, during sex. Needless to say, I didn't do that again. Wilmer never seemed to want to look at me either. I guess I should have taken that as a sign that we weren't meant to be.
Nick & I talked & texted once or twice a week usually, but it was nearly a year before I saw him in person after that October day in 2013. It was in late July of 2014, that Nick & I were at the same event. It was at a movie premiere that our friend, Dani Vitale, was in. Some kind of dance movie & she was in it as a supporting character. It was a big break for her, so I was so proud. Her & Wilmer were also very good friends, so we both attended. I didn't see Nick at the actual premiere, but ran into him at the party afterwards. He was standing with Olivia at the bar, talking to Dani.
I held my breath as Wilmer & I made our way to Dani, since she was motioning for us to come to her. Nick hadn't seen me yet. His back was to us. I saw his hand resting on the small of Olivia's back. Was this going to be awkward or would it be just like it always used to be. Would it hurt my heart to see his gorgeous brown eyes? It was making me feel queasy to see his hand on his girlfriend's back, gently caressing her, so his fingers sometimes went on her ass.
Nick turned just a little & caught sight of me. His smile made me go weak in the knees. I smiled back at him & he let go of Olivia to hug me. "It's so good to see you, Dem." He murmured in my ear. I looked over his shoulder to see Olivia smiling, but not a real one. This was a fake & forced smile. It seems someone was jealous.
"Good to see you, too, Jonas." I hugged him tight & didn't want to let go.
Wilmer hugged Dani, then shook Nick's hand. Wilmer gave Olivia a warm smile, while i hugged Dani. Wilmer put his arm around my waist, as Nick did the same to Olivia. "Demi, this is Olivia." Nick said. I appreciated that he didn't refer to her as his girlfriend. I would have died a little. It was bad enough I had to see it in print online or in magazines anytime someone spoke of her.
Olivia held out her hand & I shook it, politely. "Nice to finally meet you." Olivia smiled, this time, seeming more genuine.
I laughed, nervously. "Yea, you, too. You are even more beautiful in person."
Olivia laughed a little, then looked away. "Aww, that's sweet of you to say. I could say the same about you." She turned her body toward Nick & put her hand on his waist, almost like she was letting me know he belonged to her now.
"Thanks." I replied, feeling like I loathed her & didn't even know her.
We all chatted for a little while, about the movie or what we were all up to & thank God, Olivia finally let go of Nick, so he could stand closer to me. Wilmer was engaging Dani & Olivia in a conversation about their time in Vegas when they shot the Jonas Brothers video for "First Time." Nick leaned over to me & whispered in my ear. "I still wish you had been there."
I smiled up at him. "Me, too."
Nick was looking at his ticket stub for the movie & he let out a small laugh. "Speaking of first time, it's July 19th." He winked at me & I looked away so I wouldn't jump his bones in front of his girl.
"Yes, it is. I can't believe it's been two years." Two years ago, today, was the day Nick & I spent an awesome day together, professed our feelings for each other, then made love for the first time. Of course, I freaked out the next day & didn't want to be with Nick in that way. I came to my senses nearly two weeks later, thankfully. Then lost Nick almost a year later because I was a dumbass.
Nick's eyes met mine & he seemed to get lost in a moment with me. "I know." He breathed. "That was a great night."
I blushed as Dani & Olivia came closer to us, trying to engage us in their conversation. Nick, quickly, changed the subject. We all talked for another ten minutes or so, before Wilmer excused him & I to go mingle. Throughout the party, I would find myself trying to find Nick in the crowd. A few times I found him & each time it seemed, he was looking for me, too, because our eyes would lock & we'd smile. It was like we were teenagers on stage together all over again. I never got to talk to Nick anymore that night, but he sent me a text the next day that simply said, "You looked radiant last night. So glad I got to see you."
I replied, "Thanks & good to see you as well." I wanted to say so much more, but I wasn't going to push it or make things uncomfortable. I needed him to think I was over him.
Seeing Nick in person again was harder than I thought it would be. He looked so good with his hair growing back into waves after he had cut it short a few months earlier. He was clean shaven, too, which I loved. I wondered if Olivia preferred him that way, because it seemed to be how he looked lately. When Nick & I talked on the phone or texted, he rarely brought up Olivia & I never really asked about her or them. I got the impression, though, because of things Blanda told me, that she was a little high maintenance. Yes, Blanda & I were still really good friends. She was actually becoming one of my best friends. We talked nearly every day.
Blanda was visiting me one afternoon in October, while Joe was working in the studio with a musician he was thinking of signing to the Jonas Brothers' label. Her & I were having coffee on my patio. She only got there about ten minutes prior, grabbed a cup of coffee & followed me outside. She was playing with her hair when I saw it.
"Oh my God!" I screamed. "Is that an engagement ring on your finger?" I grabbed her hand & stared at the gorgeous & humongous diamond ring.
She smiled & nodded. "He asked me last night, while we were walking on the beach after dinner."
"Aww. Congratulations, hon. You two are perfect for each other." I was happy for Joe & Blanda, but at the same time, I couldn't help but to be jealous & sad.
"Thank you. I am having Carol be my matron of honor & I want you to be my maid of honor." Carol was one of Blanda's dearest friends, who was married to Jim. They had a baby, James, who was about a year old.
My eyes widened. "Are you serious? I'd be honored." I stood up & hugged Blanda.
"Nick & Jim will be best men, so Jim will be Carol's partner & Nick will be yours." Blanda eyed me with one eyebrow raised & a smile on her face as she innocently sipped her coffee.
"Is this you playing cupid?" I laughed. Blanda was always trying to bring Nick up when she & I talked & I was pretty sure she did the same to Nick.
Blanda shrugged her shoulders. "Not sure what you are talking about."
I rolled my eyes at her. "Have you set a date?"
"I want a spring wedding so maybe April sometime. Late April, so it's not close to my birthday." Blanda smiled. "Even early May."
"Are you having an engagement party?" I asked.
"Hadn't thought about it. I guess an engagement party could be cool."
"I can throw you one. Just a small one with close friends & family if you want. I'll even throw it here. I've always wanted to throw a party since I moved in here."
"Sure. If it's not too much of a hassle. Your apartment is amazing."
Blanda & I discussed the party for a while, then moved on to wedding ideas. It was three hours later, before she realized she was late to meet Joe. I was excited for her & Joe & was going to have fun helping her with wedding stuff. It made me a bit sad, since I dreamed of my own wedding & didn't think I'd ever get married, now. I didn't think I wanted to marry Wilmer, even though he brought it up often. I just didn't see forever with him. Would I ever see forever with anyone, ever again?
After Nick & I broke up, it was hard on me. The part that made it hardest was seeing Nick be incredibly hot & sexy in photo shoot after photo shoot. I swear he did so many in the first few months after we broke up, that I was starting to think it was intentional. I actually would save the pics on my phone & had a secret file on it full of hot pics of Nick. One day a few weeks after Blanda had told me about her engagement, Wilmer came to me, while I was getting ready to go out with Marissa.
"I was trying to find a pic of me & you that we took a few weeks ago on your phone." Wilmer was leaning on the door frame of the bathroom, as I was putting on mascara. "Instead of finding that one, I came across a whole bunch of pictures of Nick. These aren't old either because most of these are from shoots he did after you guys broke up."
I froze, then put the mascara down & looked at Wilmer in the mirror. "How did you even find those?"
"You tried to hide it. That also bothers me." Wilmer came closer to me & we looked at each other in the mirror. He was frowning. "You're still in love with him, aren't you?"
I swallowed hard & looked down at the counter. "It doesn't matter. He is with Olivia & he is happy. One day, I will get over him." I looked up at Wilmer. "Right?" I gave him a sheepish smile.
Wilmer inhaled sharply. "Not sure, Love. It's been a year since you broke up & you are still in love with him. Maybe you two are meant to be." His expression was sad. "I think you & I gave it a good run, but you don't look at me like you look at Nick. I'm going to get all my stuff that I've left here out of your hair & move it back to my place."
I stared at Wilmer for several seconds. "You want to break up?"
"I want us to be what we should be... friends. I know you love me, but it's a love like you have for family or a best friend." Wilmer stood next to me & I faced him. "Demi, I want nothing more in this world than for you to be happy. You will never love me like you love Nick. I know this. I was in denial about it for a while, but seeing how you looked at him while we were at the movie premiere & now seeing that you have all these photos of him... you're not over him. I knew how much you loved him when we got back together & I tried to convince myself that you could love me like that one day, but it's not happening." Wilmer took a deep breath & held my hand. "I saw how happy he made you when you guys were together. I saw how much he loved you & I would hear him talk about you. He loved you like I loved you, but you only loved him like that in return."
Wilmer handed me my phone, kissed my cheek & then went to my room. I followed him, watching him go through the closet & drawers, putting clothes that were his, in piles, on the bed. I felt bad, but no tears were coming to my eyes. "I'm so sorry, Wilmer. You really do mean the world to me." I smiled at him.
He gave me a soft smile in return. "Demi, you will always mean the world to me. If you need my help getting Nick to come to his senses, just let me know." He winked at me as I busted out laughing. His face got serious after a minute. "I always suspected, but never knew for sure. I think you & Nick were together after you & I got back together." His eyes met mine.
I closed my eyes & sat on the bed. I sighed before I spoke. Now tears stung my eyes. The tears were because I hurt Wilmer, who didn't deserve it & because making love to Nick, when we were broke up, was heartbreaking to think about. I missed him so much & thinking back to those moments of passion always brought me to tears. Knowing I'd never be that close to him again was agonizing. "We were together in Toronto for Weday, then I went to him in Hawaii while he was filming Hawaii 5-0 & then he came here while he was rehearsing for the fall tour last year."
Wilmer whistled, slightly. "Never thought Nick would be the type to cheat. I guess it's because of the way he feels about you." Wilmer sat on the bed beside me. "And I don't think you'd ever cheat unless it was with Nick. This is why you & I need to end this before it gets ugly. I never want to hate you or have you resent me."
I sniffed & wiped at my tears. "Me neither. You are too important to me." I smiled at him & he kissed my lips, softly.
"I hope you & Nick can have happily ever after."
I let out a small laugh. "He's pretty happy with Olivia. Not holding my breath."
Wilmer raised his eyebrows. "I have my doubts that Nick & Olivia will be together forever. From what I hear from Joe, she's high maintenance & doesn't love Nick as much as she loves the fame."
"Really? What does Joe say?"
"He told me that Nick has asked him a few times if he thought Olivia really loved him. He wonders if he wasn't famous if she would love him the same."
"If I ever found out that she was not in love with him & only was with him because of who he is, I would have to kick her ass."
Wilmer laughed. "I meant what I said. I can talk to Nick if you want."
"No." I blurted out. "If Nick is happy, then I am happy. He's a smart guy. He would know if she were with him for the wrong reasons."
"She is a sweet girl, don't get me wrong. Joe says she acts like she loves Nick & she treats him really well, but it's comments she makes sometimes & things her friends & family have said. Hang in there, girl. I think you may get your second chance with Nick after all."
"It would be more like a third or fourth chance." I laughed. "But even if he wasn't with her, I think he's gun shy when it comes to me. He's afraid I'll hurt him since I did it so often."
"You've matured & grown so much in the last year & you have learned so much about yourself & communicating. Maybe he just needs to know all that."
"Well don't you be the one to tell him." I took Wilmer's hand in mine & looked at the ring, on his hand that matched mine, but I wasn't wearing.
I had taken it off a few days earlier & forgot to put it back on. He got us these rings years ago as a symbol that we had an unbreakable bond & that he would be there for me, no matter what. Every time I looked at the ring I knew someone was there for me & someone was rooting for me. "I'm going to go order us some food. You finish packing your stuff. Let's have dinner together & watch a bad horror movie before you leave."
Wilmer smiled, reached up & touched my nose. "I'd like that."
My breakup with Wilmer was so easy & he really did seem like he wanted me to be happy even if he knew it wouldn't be with him. I was never unhappy with Wilmer, I just knew I didn't love him as much as he loved me. He deserved to have someone love him the same way. He was a great guy & any girl would be lucky to have him. Wilmer always continued to support me & we stayed good friends. Really nothing changed in our relationship, except we stopped having sex.
The day after Wilmer & I broke up, Marissa came over to hang out. I was in my kitchen, making popcorn, when she walked in, looking like one of her pets died. "Oh my God, what's wrong?"
Marissa came over & hugged me & I freaked out. "I guess you haven't been online today." She stuck out her bottom lip at me & looked at me with sad eyes.
I shook my head. "Did someone we know die? Please tell me."
Marissa sighed. "Nick is engaged."
It felt like someone died. My heart sank & my stomach turned. I felt like I would pass out. Engaged? How could this be? He's barely been with her a year. I sat down on the stool at my kitchen counter. I stared at the floor as I ran my hand through my hair. "He can't be. He wouldn't marry someone he's only known a year."
"That's what I thought, but it's all over the internet. Their publicist made a statement."
"I wonder when this happened."
Marissa put her hand over mine. "I'm so sorry, Demi. I know you still love him."
"I know Nick. He wouldn't ask someone to marry him this quickly." I stood up & went back to my popcorn. I was shaking my head, quickly. Tears came to my eyes before I even realized it. "No. It isn't true."
An hour later, Marissa & I were watching a movie & eating popcorn. I was barely paying attention to the movie. I couldn't stop thinking about Nick getting engaged. I wondered if they would have a long engagement. I wondered how he proposed. Was it romantic? My cell phone ringing interrupted my thoughts, thankfully, since the thoughts were quite painful. I answered it.
"Demi?" It was Blanda.
"Yea?"
"I can tell by the tone of your voice, you saw what was all over the internet."
I let out an agonizing sigh. "Yea. Maybe you can have a double wedding."
"That's why I'm calling. The spokesperson got it wrong. It was supposed to be about me & Joe getting engaged, not Nick. He isn't engaged, Demi."
My head started to spin. I closed my eyes & sighed with relief. In my head I was thanking God. "Are you sure?" I had to make sure I wasn't dreaming this conversation.
"Yes." Blanda laughed. "We were all having lunch together in New York today when all these people were asking Nick & Olivia about their engagement. I was pissed actually. It was my big announcement & someone messed up. Kind of a let down now." Blanda laughed. "Anyway, I wanted to make sure you knew it wasn't Nick. Oh & I gave Carol your number so you two can plan the engagement party. Please make sure you get our names right." Blanda laughed again.
I laughed so hard, but mostly because I couldn't contain my excitement that Nick wasn't engaged. "I'm glad you called. Oh & Blanda? Wilmer & I broke up last night."
"YES!" Blanda yelled into the phone. "Now just one more to go & you & Nick can live happily ever after."
I clicked my tongue. "B, don't do anything stupid or say anything. Nick is happy & I don't want to ruin that."
"I'm not going to do anything, obvious." She let out an evil laugh. "She's a sweet girl. I love Olivia, but she needs to find her own prince charming because the one she has, belongs to someone else."
I laughed again. It felt good to laugh. I talked to Blanda a few more minutes, then hung up so I could explain to Marissa why I was so happy, suddenly. The rest of the night I had a huge smile on my face that wouldn't go away. I wanted Nick to be happy, truly I did, but I was relieved he wasn't engaged to Olivia. I could lie to my friends, but I couldn't lie to myself. I wanted him back & I would be even more thrilled if he & Olivia broke up. It was a long shot, but I prayed every day for that to happen. Now if God was going to answer one of my prayers, I hoped it was this one. I'm not sure he'd want me back, but at least if they broke up, there wouldn't be any obstacle for me to at least try.
Author's Note: If you enjoyed this story please click the share button (and the others in the series up to book 7) & share it on twitter & facebook with the hashtag #wattys2014. Help me win & thank you so much for reading & sharing!