Spending the holidays at Hermione’s house had to be one of the best experiences of my life. Not to sound like Mr. Weasley, but I love Muggles.
“Hermione.” I said as we were all seated around the dining table. “Her. Mione.”
“Oh God.” Hermione said sadly.
“Her.” I said as though this was a new revelation. “Your name has her in it!”
“Do you want-“Hermione swallowed her mouthful of food. “-A fricken medal.”
“You missed the point.” I said rolling my eyes. “ Her. She. They’re like the same.”
“Do you mean to say,” Said Mr. Granger, smiling wickedly. (His smile was pretty brilliant considering he had perfect dentist teeth.) “That we should call my daughter ‘shemione’ from now on.”
I positively beamed. Hermione’s dad is a legend.
“If that ever circulates school, I will positively have to kill you.” Hermione said threateningly.
“Trust me, won’t work.” Hermione frowned at me.
“Okay, fine.” She tried again. “I’ll have to torture you.”
“Been there, done that.” I killed her hopes again.
“I’ll restrict your junk food intake.” Hermione said with a triumphant smile.
I fell off my chair.
“OH GOD NO!” I cried dramatically. “I won’t let pansy find out.”
“Pansy?” Said Mrs. Granger sharply. “Who’s she?”
“She’s no one mum.” Hermione said calmly, though her eyes shot me daggers.
Hmm, Perhaps I shouldn’t have brought Pansy Pratface up.
“Willow, who’s Pansy.” Mrs. Granger snapped.
“Pansy’s a pansy.” I smiled. Shemione’s mum shot me a death glare. “She’s a bitch. Like the bitch. The school bitch. And she’s kind of going out with the guy who I used to think was my brother. But he’s not. He’s a shit, so it’s good that we’re not related. He’s a poo head. A poo-y shit head. Oh shit, am I allowed to swear in this house?”
No one said anything, but both Shemione and her father looked as though they were about to laugh, and her mum looked almost murderous.
Apart from that awkward dinner, I had fun spending a week at the Grangers. It was so fun turning up her massive stereo and screaming out the lyrics as Hermione and I jumped around manically. We scrolled through the internet, where Shemione showed me this magical website called ‘Tumblr’ it was pretty much where awesome people united.
“I know what I’m going to have to do.” Hermione said randomly one night.
“Huh?”
“You-know-who’s back, and we’re going to have to kill him. You, me, Harry and Ron. I’m going to have to wipe their memories. My parents.” Hermione looked at me sadly.
“Use the spell my parents used on me. Cause you get the memories back.” I suggested.
I knew she’d brought up something she never meant to. Hermione smiled sadly at me. Then she did a Hermione and went bi-polar.
“OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SONG!” she shouted as the song changed on her stereo. She proceeded to jump up and scream the lyrics.
That’s my best friend folks. You jelly?
Her father was really awesome and nice and everything, but I sensed something evil about her mum. Ever since that dinner on Friday, she’d looked like she wanted to kill me 24/7. Yay.
“I know mum’s been a bit...cold toward you.” Hermione told me the following Monday.
“It’s fine.” I shrugged.
“She just expected this summer to be, err, different. She was under the impression I was just going to spend it with her.”
“I can go you know.” I told Hermione, earnestly. “I wouldn’t be upset, I totally get it.”
Hermione opened her mouth to speak, but her bedroom door creaked open.
“I’d appreciate that.” Mrs. Granger said in a nasty voice.
“Mum!” Hermione said irately.
“I want you to leave Winfred.”
“My names Willow.”
“It’s of no interest to me. I want to spend these holiday’s with my daughter.”
“Mum!” Hermione said trying to shut her up.
“Pack your things.” Mrs. Granger said shortly. “You can leave in the morning.”
“Willow, you don’t have to go.” Hermione said politely, but she cast her mother a look of death.
“It’s fine Hermione! Really! I’ll annoy you all through next year anyway.” I smiled, but I was almost certain it didn’t reach my eyes.
I went to the spare room to pack up my trunk, and couldn’t help overhearing their conversation.
“Mum! What’s wrong with you?”
“Hermione Granger, stop being obtuse! That girl is...Different.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I think she killed someone!”
“What?” Hermione’s voice was so high-pitched it was hardly a word.
“Have you heard her in her sleep? The things she says-“
“Mum.” Hermione said urgently. “Why are you so insane? You’re never like this!”
“I don’t want you hanging out with this girl anymore. She’s deranged.”
“Shut up!”
“You listen to me Hermione! I wanted to spend this summer with my daughter! You go away to that school for weeks, and I don’t see you! You stay for the holidays too! I just want to see you!” her voice dropped. “Seeing you makes me happy. Don’t you want me to be happy?”
“You didn’t stop to think, did you mum?” Hermione’s voice came out calm, but deadly. “You didn’t think of what makes me happy.”
“I-I..” Hermione’s mum couldn’t think of what to say. “She’s a freak! I don’t want you hanging around her!”
Feeling rather affronted, I threw the rest of my things into my trunk. That bitch! I’m sorry Hermione, but your mum is on par with Pansy Parkinson!
“I’ll go tonight thanks.” I said cheerfully to Mrs. Granger.
“Good. The sooner the better.”
“It was fabulous to meet you.” I smiled.
“Wil, don’t go-“
“It’s fine ‘Mione.” I said sweetly. “Just forgive her, pretend nothing ever happened. You don’t get to spend a lot of time with your folks anyway. I’ll be right, I always am. I just want you to be right too.”
“Oh Willow.” And Hermione hugged me so tightly that I thought I’d die.
“Cya Shemione’s dad!” I called into the lounge room. “Thanks for having me!”
He didn’t say anything, which was probably because Slutface Granger was glaring at him.
“Err, and also, which way is little Whinging?” I asked them both.
And a map was thrown at my head. It was like an old fashioned scroll and it tripped me out. None the less, I took it with me.
With Soxy wrapped around my neck like a scarf, and my trunk in hand, I left their house and continued down the road in the sweltering heat.
OH MY GOD HERMIONE'S MUM IS A BITCH!
I decided to try to find Harry’s house, just to annoy the Dursleys. I just didn’t know what way it was.
I walked until I found a park, and I was lost. It was a creepy looking park; up behind factories, full of trees and creepiness. I heard a noise and turned, trying to find out where the sound came from. That’s when I felt something grab me from behind.
“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! GET OFF ME YOU SHIT FACE!” I yelled trying to squirm out of their grasp.
“You’re coming with me.”
“HELP!” I shrieked.
“Stop moving.” The man hissed.
“Why would I do that? That makes your job easier.” I said logically.
“Shut up!” he shouted in my ear.
“RAPE! HELP! SOMEONE! ANYONE!” I screeched into the night. When no one came to my rescue I tried something I never thought I’d get caught doing. “STRANGER DANGER!”
“Stupefy!” I heard them say, and then I heard no more.
*** *** ***
I woke up with a massive blinding headache, and I seemed to be surrounded by a weird cloud of red hair.
“She’s awake!” Someone said.
“No shit Sherlock.” Said another voice.
“Shut up.”
“Shut up yourself.”
“Both of you shut up, you’ll give her a headache.” Mrs. Weasley’s voice snapped, somewhere to my right.
I blinked a few times to try to regain my vision, and I saw Ron, Fred, George, Ginny and Mrs. Weasley crowded around my bed.
Hey, I’m in a bed.
“Wazzup?” I said blearily.
“Mundungus thought he was funny.” Said Mrs. Weasley huffily. “He thought it would be such a good joke to sneak up on you and pretend to kidnap you. Stupid man.”
“Who?”
“Mundungus. He had one job. One! Hermione called us – on a real telephone – to say you’d left.” Mrs. Weasley continued to rant. “We sent him to grab you because the rest of us were busy. He claimed it was no harm done considering you don’t know him anyway. No harm done! Ha!” and she left the room muttering darkly to herself.
I sat up, killing my head in the process, and lay back on my pillows.
“Who?”
“Mundungus.” Ginny answered.
I think my head will explode. “And that is?”
“A member.” Ron said.
I feel like Harry asking questions.
“A member or what?”
“The order.” Said Fred.
“I will cut you.” I told them. “What order?”
“Ohhh, I just realised you know nothing.” George smiled.
“No shit Sherlock.”
“Welcome, to the Order of the Phoenix.” The quartet sang in harmony.
“Now,” I said in a very frustrated tone. “What the hell is that?”