Part Six
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Song For The Chapter:
You Found Me by The Fray
"Where were you when everything was falling apart? All my days were spent by the telephone that never rang."
"Lost and insecure you found me, you found me. Lyin' on the floor, surrounded, surrounded. Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you? Just a little late, you found me, you found me."
"In the end everyone ends up alone. Losing her, the only one who's ever known who I am, who I'm not, who I wanna be..."
This songs is just amazing; it describes this story and everything like yes pls, if you've never heard it, I suggest you do.
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-Celeste's Point Of View-
I sat on one of the stools behind the soundboard, next to one fo the sound engineers. The music around us continued getting louder as the speakers were being assembled and the sound engineer fixed the sound on them. I didn't try to help because he specifically told me to not mess with anything.
"Hey, Cel, the band on stage needs help with the microphones--do you mind helping them?" I got up and headed to the stage, jumping onto it and connecting and assembeling microphones.
I finished setting them up and walked back to the osundboard to watch Ben adjust all the small knobs. I sat on the stool and leaned up on the back support of it crossing my arms over my chest. Children ran around, weaving in and ouit of the seats of the audience. The band on stage did their microphone checks and Ben did last minute adjustments.
"Hey, you okay?" He looked back to where I was sitting.
I blinked a few times before answering him, "Not really, It'll be okay though."
"Do you want to talk about it?" He finished fixing last minute things and pulled a stool closer to me.
"No, its okay." I messed with the "tribal" ring on my pinky, "its stupid things--just stupid teenage drama."
He nodded and he broke out into a smile, nudging my shoulder, "Is it a boy? Does little Celeste have a boyfriend?" He teased, nudging my shoulder again, but harder this time.
I chuckled and shook my head, "No, I've been told I'm unlikable and that everyone hates me, I doubt I'm having boy troubles."
HIs eyebrows furrowed and he shook his head, "No, those people are stupid, don't listen to them; you are an amazing person, they just don't dream big."
He patted my back in assurance, I slightly smiled at him, "If you need to talk to someone, just talk to me." I nodded and got off the stool.
"I'll be back." I pointed to where my dad was.
I walked away, and stood next to him until he finished his conversation. The person next to him walked away, and it was my cue to speak.
"Do you need me here or..." I traiiled off as I messed with my hands.
"I don't think so, you have the night off if yoiu want." I nodded and gave him a quick hug. "You okay?" He asked, I simply nodded.
He gave me a look before nodding and waving me off. I walked back near the soundboard to a small three person table. I rested my chin on my hand and looked straight ahead; I was bored, and all I wanted to do was go home and fall asleep. I took my phone and scrolled thru old Twitter news, it was the usual: partying, being bored, and other stupid posts.
"Hey," I looked up from my phone at James, my cousin, "I heard youi were upset." He held his hand ouit and patted his palm, telling me to give him my phone.
I sighed and gave it to him, "Just don't--"
"Look thru your messages, I knowthe drill." He recited from memory, I nodded.
"And nothing's wrong just tired I guess."
"That's what you use to say, look where that led to." I glared at him.
"I put myself in taht position and I obviously got out of it--I'm fine." He put his hands up in defeat.
I sighed and shook my head, thinking about what I'd just said. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."
He was one of those few people in my life that had stayed; one of those few family members who were more understanding.
"Its alright; so, how are you? How was yoiur week?"
After everything that had happened, he never failed to ask me how I was doing. I felt as if I didn't have to bring it up--as if knowing about my day wasn't a burdern--like they wanted to actually know.
"My week was alright, yoiu know the usual: wake up, deal with school, come home."
"Anything else?" I shook my head. "My dad was telling us that your dad said something about a music project?"
"Yeah, its pretty cool, we get to make our own origional song with a partner and stuff." I shrugged my shoulders as if it were no big deal.
"Who's your partner?"
When I said I hadn't told anyone about Austin, James had been an exception. He didn't know the whole thing, but he knew enough to make his assumptions.
"Austin." I shrugged.
"Mahone?"
"Yeah," I shrugged again, "Its alright, not much talking but whatever."
"And did you choose this partner, or were they assigned?"
"They were assigned. Its whatever James, its the past and I have to let it go."
If only I took my own advice-- I was alright giving advice, but terrible at following it.
"If you say so, I think you should follow your own advice." I sighed and nodded. "Here's your phone," He took it out of his pocket and examined it, "It keeps vibrating and stuff."
"Its probably Twitter." I muttered.
"Twitter and you just now got a message from Austin." He slid something on the screen and showed it to me: he wanted me to unlock it. "Hey, are you mad? Can we work today?" He quoted from the text.
"What I tell you about reading my messages?"
"You told me not to do it, and I do it anyways, what's the point in even telling me." He handed me back the phone. "Why would you get mad at him?" I gave him a look, "besides whatever you got going on."
"Well, besides everything else, I'm guessing he thinks I'm mad because we argued about our project and I walked off."
"Is that it? An argument about a project?"
Now that I thought about it, it was a stupid reasons. We were about to graduate high school, and we got mad at each other for something dumb.
"Yeah, it was stupid now that I think about it." I admitted, I took out my phone and sent him a quick text.
No, I'm not mad, and yes I can work on the project.
"Do you mind driving me home? I have no ride back?" I asked James.
He sighed and closed his eyes, "Sure, lets go. You owe me though." He took his keys out of his pocket and twirrled them on his index finger. "C'mon, traffic will be pretty bad."
***
"Where is he? He said he'd be here." I threw my hands up in frustration. "I am so ready to kill someone." James stepped away from me and to the other side of his car.
"Calm down, traffic is pretty bad, I'm sure he's stuck in it. There is no need to kill anyone." He muttered the last part.
I sat leaned against the hood of the car and watched as cars drove past us. The sun was finally setting after a long day, and it was beginning to get darker. The shades of the sun and the darkness created a pretty redish, blue color to form in the sky; the headlights of the cars just made everything a lot better. Over all, the night looked beautiful and the warm air just made everything better; Texas was one of the most bipolar states, but the weather always made my mood a bit better.
"Hey, isn't that him?" James pointed to a pair of headlights that were coming our way in the deserted parking lot.
We had all agreed that we would meet up at the parking lot of an old grocery. James wanted to go back to the concert, so he would just leave me here. I had objected at first, but then he talked some sense into me.
"Yeah, I don't know what Range Rover head lights look like, but I think its him." I squinted to get a better view, but was still clueless.
He nodded, "You know what you are going to say, right?" I nodded, ""Good, and remember, it doesn't matter who started the argument, you two will make up and try to work on this, okay?" I nodded again.
The car parked next to us and the engine shut off, the driver coming out. Austin fixed his shirt and closed the door to his car. He wore one of his usual outfits: a t-shirt, jeans, sneakers, a chain, and some sort of accesory to cover his hair. Even when we were younger, he use to talk about how much he hated his hair-- i didn't see it though, I loved his hair.
James and him greeted each other by just nodding, and turned their attention to me.
"So, Celeste, you have anything you want to say." James pulled me off the hood of the car and made me stand up right.
"Yes. Austin," I begun, "I'm sorry for being a bitch yesterday. I snapped and I want to apoloigze."
"Its okay, I'm sorry for being rude too." he scratched the back of his neck and stuck his hand out.
I looked at it and James nudged my shoulder, "Ow, what's up with people nudging my shoulder violently all today?" I muttered under my breath and quickly shook Austin's hand.
""Well, I am going to leave you two alone to start your project and whatever. Bye." He walked to his side of the car and got in.
I moved out of the way as he turned the engine on and drove away. He honked before driving into the street and slowly merging in with the other cars.
"So, you want to get started on our project." He walked over to the passangers side of the car and opened the door.
I walked over to him and got into the car and mumbled a small thanks. He closed the door and walked to his side of the car. We both put on our seat belts and he turned the car on; soon driving onto one of main roads near the highway and turning onto a small road that would lead to town.
"Do you want anything to eat?" He was looking back to the cars in the other lane, before switching lanes and turning into a small shopping center.
There weren't many shops here, a small cell phone store, a local drugstore, an athletic store, a mexican restaturant, and a Starbucks.
"Not really, I'm not really hungry." He ignored my statement and parked in front of Starbucks, "You know there are other coffee places here? We don't have to nessesarly get Starbucks--I'm fine with corner store coffee."
"Its closer, and I'm thirsty." He got out of the car and I followed behind him.
"Corner stores have drinks, food, and gas. They have anything you could ever ask for." I listed off. He shook his head and held the door open for us.
Luckily Starbucks wasn't as crowded as it would usually be; there were a few students from the local university in the corners of the shop on their laptops, a few couples sitting at small booths, and two people waiting in line. We got in line behind the other people and looked up to the menu to know what we were going to order.
The two people in front of us moved up and ordered quickly as the barista moved to make their drinks.
"Where are we going to work? I'm pretty sure the library is closing right now and I don't know many places to work on this." Austin asked.
I thought of places we could work, but most of them would be closed now like Austin said. I sighed thinking of the only place that was possible to work on a music project.
"I know a place, I'll show you the way when we get back in the car." The barista came back and welcomed us asking for our orders.
"I'd like a small vanilla bean frappe."
"I'll take a venti strawberry smoothie." Austin took out his wallet to pay and I took out the money I'd had with me all day.
"Let's split the pay in half," I suggested, "I won't let you pay for mine."
"No, I'll pay for both."
Before he could give her the money, I handed her half of the total amount. He sighed and handed her the other half of the total. She took both bills and gave me the change which I handed to Austin.
"Your drinks will be out in a while." She walked back to make our drinks and we sat down at a three person elevated table.
"Your stuborn." Austin pointed out.
"Am not, I'm just an indepentant person who doesn't need help from anyone."
He shook his head and sighed, "You haven't changed, you're sti--"
"Strawberry smoothie and vanilla bean frappe." We got up and walked together to the small table where they had been placed.
We thanked the barista and headed to the front door; Austin opening up the door for both of us and stepping out into the warm Texas air.
"So, where are we working?" Austin asked. He looked both ways before driving into the busy street and stopping at a red light.
"Get off this road at this exit and just keep driving until I tell you to turn and stuff." He turned his blinker on to the right and carefully veered off the lane we were in.
The rest of the ride was silent except when I would tell Austin which way to turn.
"Are you sure we are not lost? Where are we?" It was getting darker and little could be seen, but I knew exactly where we were going.
"Will you calm down? I know where we are at, just keep going forward after that toll road." We passed underneath the toll road, and he continued the way I told him. I knew exactly where we were going and was one hundred percent sure we weren't lost.
"And there's another cow, and look what do we have here? Another cow!"
"Could you not? Just concentrate on the road, we're almost there." I took a sip from my drink and kept my eyes forward.
I wasn't surprised he had no idea where we were; as far as I was concerned, he hadn't been here in years. The white fences came up and I knew where we had to go.
"Turn here," I pointed to the left and he did, "just keep going down the gravel road until you get to the bottom."
He followed my instructions and kept his eyes forward on the gravel road. He looked around a bit and his eyebrows furrowed; he didn't say anything, but he seemed to remember something--or so it looked like it. We reached the end of the gravel road, and the road split into two: a passage to the house, and another to the big warehouse.
"Turn here." I pointed to the small road that lead to a house's drive way.
"Why are we out in the middle of the woods? Are you going to kill me and throw my body out to the bears?"
"First of all, why would I kill you? And secondly, there are no bears in this part of Texas, stop being stupid. " He cut the engine off and I hopped out of his car. "Are you coming or just staying there?" I asked before closing the door was walking to the back.
The other door slammed closed and Austin joined me to the back of the house. I reached into the front pocket of my jeans and looked for the key I usually carried with me. My fingers touched a cold object, and right away I knew it was my key. I took it out and held it close to my side as we walked to the back of the house and into a small storage compartment.
"What are we doing here?" Austin asked. He looked around for a bit and looked off into the woods, "You're not going to murder me or something, and then throw my body into the woods are you?"
"You ask too many question," I replied as I slid the key into the key whole. There was a gain click and I turned the knob to let us into the small space.
It wasn't a small space though, it was big enough to let me have just enough equipment to practice with. I turned the light switch on and held the door open wider for both of us to enter the small, makeshift studio I had built and developed through the years.
"Welcome to my mini studio." I held my arms open as I pointed to different things.
Austin looked around the area--mesmerized by the scenery. "This is yours?"
"Yeah. It isn't much but it's a start; no one believed in me, so I just did it all myself." I sat down on one of the small couches and propped my feet up on a small stool.
He looked around some more, messed with some of the instrument, and touched a few of the controls, until he finally made it to my "school spirit" wall. It was a stupid addition to the studio, but I couldn't deny that the things on there were a part of my life.
It contained different things: school pictures, school decals, awards, medals, and just regular school life pictures. It wasn't much, but I was proud to have that much on a small corner of the entire room.
"Look, it's us." Austin pointed at one of the pictures on the top left. I got off my seat and walked towards him to see which he picture he pointed at.
I smiled a bit at the small picture my mother had conserved and I had taken to put on my wall.
"You're just the same as you were then, stubborn, sarcastic, yet quiet." He said.
I looked up at the picture and thought about what he had said. The way I saw it, those things were still the same, but a lot ha changed.
"True, but a lot has changed."
"Not really if you think about--look we're still talking, and all."
"Not really?" I asked, "Not really?" I repeated again in disbelief. I crossed my arms and shook my head, "Wow, so you think nothing has changed?"
He simply nodded. I laughed at that--not a humorous laugh but more of a angered one.
"Wow, you know I wish things were the same, but you know what? They aren't. The moment you left and never even bothered to talk to me, I felt so heartbroken. I thought we were friends, I thought we promised to be there for each other no matter what. You were the only person I have ever fully trusted--"
He tried to speak but I cut him off and began speaking again, throwing my hands in the air.
"I told you about how people always came into my life and left--my dad's mother completely neglects me, my grandfather's wife who was more of a mother to my dad than his real mother left and never came back, you left, a lot of other friends left, and my grandfather just disappeared one day. How do you think it feels to have all these people leave you life?" I didn't let him answer the question, instead I just kept talking.
"It sucks, okay. I told you about all these people and you were there for me, because that's what friends do: they're there for each other. When we started high school I would see you in the hallways and would hate myself so much."
He looked up from the picture to me.
"I hated myself because I still cared so much for you, yet you seemed so much happier without me. I felt all torn up inside because I cared so much for someone who didn't even notice it."
"But I care about you--you were one of my best friends." He spoke up for the first time.
I shook my head silently, "Just let me finish." I continued on with my rant, "After a while, everything just started to fall apart. People left, you were gone, I almost lost my dad, and I felt so alone. I was dying on the inside--screaming and slowly dying, yet nobody could hear me." I sat on one of the chairs and put my head in my hands.
"I bottled everything up inside and it just turned worse. I fell into darkness, but I managed to get out of it. I pulled myself through because I wanted to. I would still see you, and I would still care, but I wanted to stop. I wanted to stop caring, but I couldn't. That's my problem though, I care too much for people who don't seem to care back."
***