AN: Warning:
Extremely detailed smut.
Selena...
I've heard multiple times, different and numerous declarations from Harry that have always left me gaping. But I know none of those have ever managed to knock the wind out of my lungs as much as the statement that had just come out of his mouth.
It sounded so wrong and had managed to highlight all the mistakes between the two of us.
But I know I'd be lying if I say that it didn't give me a tiny glimmer of hope; that it didn't liquefy my insides to a puddle; that it didn't give me the strength I needed for that one final push.
Harry's eyes weren't able to catch up as it still held a sliver of anxiety even when I've already stood on the balls of my feet. But for the slowness of his eyes, his lips and hands definitely did more to make up for. His arms wound around me, almost lifting me off the ground as his tongue parted my lips. A crumpled mess was revealed as my hands released their hold on his shirt to travel upwards, one grasping his shoulder and the other cupping his jaw.
A moan slipped out of me as his tongue deliberately stroked mine and I know no man could ever kiss me the way he does, deeply, thoroughly and breathtakingly so. One of his hands gingerly traced a pattern from my spine to the curve of my hip, squeezing it gently. I almost bit his tongue on reflex, almost, as he chose that moment to lean back. I ignored the smirk he casted me as my lips puckered, my hand seeking him out for the loss of contact.
"Harry" I said breathily.
"Shhh" he cooed gently, before dipping his head to give me a chaste kiss that was far too short for my liking. His left hand, resumed its former position with my cheek, while his right remained on my hip, his thumb intent on burning circles on my skin as he lifted the hem of my top a little, lazily exploring the small amount of skin offered to him.
"I want this baby. I want you...so fucking bad."
Uncertainty washed over me as I am left clueless on which made me shiver more, his actual words or the way it rolled off his sensuous lips so raspy. His tongue even adding effect as it carefully moistened the plump flesh.
"But I need to know that you do too. Tell me Selena, right now, in this room, between you and me, what do you want?"
I am left speechless as I gazed up into his eyes, a torrent of emotions running amok in his luminescent emeralds – lust, reverence and to my great regret, anxiety.
A lump forms in my throat, not because I didn't want this – when that ridiculous thought is actually the last thing on my mind, but because I can't figure out the best way to prove it to him. I know a simple 'yes' is all that's needed, but after everything I put him through, whether intentional or not – it won't suffice.
I needed him to know how desperate I am for him.
Even if he appeared composed, I feel that it was with a bated breath that he awaited my reply – the rapid hammering beneath his chest and the agitation in his orbs as he regarded my every move were telltale signs of that. I settle my head to the crook of his neck, trying to remove some of his unease as I littered little kisses from his subtly peeking collarbones to the expanse of his jaw. I knew I did right with it as I felt some of the tension flee him, his rigid shoulders slacking with a bit of relief.
"Do you want to know what gave me the courage to come here?" I asked, after straightening my stance, placing a hand on his jaw. It made me smile once he lifted it and placed a kiss on my palm. It was obvious the patience he aimed to exude was taking a huge deal of him, but still he found time to shower me with little affections.
He gave me a small nod and that was all the permission I needed to continue, I sighed. "A week ago, before Gemma called me...I was with Justin."
Immediately his pools hardened as his jaw clenched at the mention of Justin's name, but he remained silent, hanging onto my every word with a renewed focus. "I thought we could start over, I thought he was what I needed to...to forget you."
"I-I let him kiss me Harry, I let him touch me – "
"Mia, I don't think I need to hear these right now." Harry said in a surprisingly gruff tone, his breath coming out in pants and it was only when I noticed his fists, having gone from my face to clench on his sides that I knew I had to calm him.
"No, please hear me out" I say hurriedly, cupping both his jaws, my plea forcing his eyes that had closed to open once more, revealing the hurt in them. It wasn't out of cruelty that I decided to tell him this way, but I knew he would understand why I did so.
"I stopped him...before it could get any worse."
"What do you mean?"
"When I opened my eyes I saw brown, and I was looking for green."
It took a moment for the realization to sink on him, but instantly I knew he had already heard what he wanted as he connected our hungry mouths once more. Just like this afternoon, our kiss quickly skipped the innocent nips and jumped to a heated twists and tangles of our tongues. One of his hands were wrapped around my waist once again, pulling me impossibly closer as the other gently pulled on my hair and carefully tipped my head back. Leaving open mouthed kisses on my now exposed neck, I could only whimper and fist on his curls, making me cry out as his tongue traced a pattern on my collarbones.
"Harry" I softly called out as I gently tried to pull him back.
"What is it, love?" he asked, eyes searching for any possible distress reflected on my face. But I didn't have one.
"I want you" I breathed out, and that was all it took for him to lunge at my lips once more, but not before I had a glimpse of his darkening orbs. I welcomed his ministrations with a moan, my teeth softly nibbling on his plump, lower lip, eliciting a groan from him. Even though I was still fully clothed, I could feel goosebumps erupt on my skin, hidden beneath the garments his hands passed on. Large, warm hands that were cradling the back of my head slowly traveled downwards, setting me ablaze as it trailed from my shoulders to my back, making me blush as it lingered on my ass.
I moaned into his mouth once more as he softly, kneaded my backside, thumbs cheekily stroking the skin under the hem of my shorts before stopping on the back of my thighs to give it a squeeze. I jumped in his hold without hesitance, legs wrapping around his slim waist, mouths separating only for his to latch onto the proffered skin of my chest. Even without fully seeing, Harry expertly maneuvered us around the room. At first I expected him to lower me onto the bed, only for momentary confusion peek through my dazed state as my back collided against a closed door with a soft thud.
"Sorry" hot breath fanned out against my décolletage, before lifting his head, a small devilish grin painted on his face.
"It's okay" I mumbled, before pulling his face. His lips were already swollen from my nipping and sucking, but I can't find it in me to even pause. Thoroughly focused on kissing him, I wasn't even able to take of notice him opening and closing the door as he moved us again. It was only when my feet touched the ground as he cautiously lowered me that my eyes opened albeit reluctantly, seeing that we were in the en-suite bathroom. All haziness however detached from me as soon as I saw his nimble fingers unfastening the remaining buttons of his shirt, my teeth instinctively trapping my bottom lip once my eyes darted upwards, seeing his gaze locked on my face. As soon as the last hindrance of a button was removed, my hands didn't waste any single second to push the clothing off of him. It's as if my lungs have failed me as I stared at his torso. It was the first time I got to see it up close since that night and immediately my fingers were twitching to explore him.
I hadn't been disappointed then; I most certainly am far from being disappointed now.
My hands started from the strong blades of his shoulders tracing the patterns of the intricate inks carved on his skin. I've always loved tattoos on a man, to me it was the sexiest, artistic way of conveying thoughts that one can't articulate most of the time and seeing it on Harry just raised the definition of sexy to a whole new level.
It almost made me smile as I felt the hard definition of his muscles tighten beneath the pads of my fingers as I continued with my scrutiny of him. It was only when I finished with the butterfly on his chest that I flattened my palm on his pectorals, a hiss sounding off him as I dragged it toward his abs in a leisurely manner. Unable to contain myself, I teasingly inserted both my forefingers underneath the band of his boxers, exploring the delicious skin hidden from my sight. A deep growl rumbled off his chest as I lazily traced a horizontal line on the smooth warmth just above the coarse hairs there, my throat going dry as my mind indiscreetly conjured images of the organ that lay beneath it.
A harsh gasp fled my lips as my hands were hastily pried off of him before he attacked my mouth with his once more. I was too caught up with the wondrous doings of his lips that I failed to pay any heed on his cheeky hands that were sneakily undoing the strings of my top – until I felt cold air hit my chest as the clothing fell down on the floor. Shivers rolled of me as his hands found its place on the sensitive skin of my ribcage, guiding me backwards until I was trapped between him and the sink. Our mouths that have continuously been latched onto each other were forced to separate as my back instinctively arched causing my breasts to jut out when he lazily rolled his hips onto mine, my nails instantly marking his biceps.
My eyes that have been closed for quite a long while now opened at the action, landing on his striking face. There was an undeniable bout of pleasure on him, but it was his stare that was focused on my chest that made me blush – hard. He must've sensed my gaze on him as his pools drifted upwards meeting mine. A smug smirk stitched onto his lips as he rolled his hips again while his hands massaged my mounds, his thumbs playing with my nipples. For a short while, I am tempted to wipe that smirk off his face; until that particular thought was the one wiped from me when his head lowered, catching one of my peaks with his lips.
"Harry" I mewled helplessly as his tongue darted out, giving my swollen bud kitten licks, while one of his hands relentlessly granted attention to the other. My hands mercilessly fisted on his hair as he switched the attention, my back arching some more. Harry took the time to pepper kisses on the expanse of my chest up to my neck and jaw, leaving a little peck to the corner of my mouth before pulling away as he stared at me with an expression that I could only identify as determination.
My breath hitched in my throat as I took notice of the current position of his fingertips – the button on my shorts.
It's as if my own emotions are manifested through his orbs as we both searched my feelings. I don't know if I should still be surprised, that the deeper I dug I found neither dread nor repulse, only anticipation. Perhaps, like him I wanted to be selfish, even if just in this moment.
I want him.
The thought echoed strongly in my head – so strong it even managed to bury an image of a woman with blue eyes at the deepest realms of my mind.
I gave him a small nod, earning visible signs of relief from him that was forgotten as soon as the button was popped and my zip was pulled down. I heard his sharp intake of breath as his eyes landed on my white laced thong once my shorts was discarded and damn did it make me mentally give myself a pat in the back for choosing to wear this. But as he was obviously distracted by the tiny piece of garment remaining on me, I can't help but to notice that he was still clothed – far too much for my liking that is.
With deliberate movements, my hands traced a path from his arms to his chest, purposely brushing his nipples as I move them lower. My teeth instinctively clamp on my bottom lip as I earn a growl from him, the sound going straight to my groin. I could feel Harry's gaze trailed hotly on mine as my hands landed on the hem of his jeans and in one moment of courage, I lifted my eyes to meet his as I unfastened his jeans. He didn't even falter as I started to remove both his pants and boxers, just helped to get rid of them himself once they reached below his thighs.
Instantly, my eyes are glued. It's as if my orbs have possessed a mind of their own as I can't make any move to pry them off the proud flesh that was revealed to me. My viewing pleasure, much to my consternation however, was disrupted as my chin was tilted upwards.
"I'm so fucking hard for you, baby"
A moan was all he got for a reply from me as he gently sucked on my bottom lip after sealing our mouths once more. Without breaking our kiss, I felt his fingers instinctively feel for the band of my underwear, carefully lifting my legs one at a time to ease it off me. It was only when I was completely exposed that Harry pulled back, taking his time to inspect me just as I did him. For a second I am quick to be filled with alarm as his lids closed, blowing a harsh exhale, a lump forming in my throat at the thought of him being displeased with my nakedness.
He's been with her after all.
I am almost on the verge of collecting my clothes when he closes the gap between us, laying his forehead on mine, his grasp falling on my cheeks once more.
"Please, please, please tell me that I was the last man to see you like this."
My lips part but no sound comes out as I am left stunned by his request. I do not know if there would ever come a time that I'll be able to keep up with his declarations. But I am certain that no man could ever captivate me the way he does, perhaps just that first time of meeting him and already my relationship with Justin was already doomed to fall.
Just like many times tonight, I take that small movement and claim his lips that I know I'll never get enough off, my hands that have been holding onto the edge of the sink moving to his chest.
"It's just you Harry, for a long time now. It's just you." I whispered against his lips. He released a huge, audible sigh and the relief that is visibly rolling of him almost makes me smile, until his lids lift up. My breath automatically hitches at his blown pupils, his irises a deep, murky green. Just like that our small moment is lifted, giving way to the emotion that has been predominantly surrounding us for quite a while now – lust.
"Good" and with that one word he spins me around and doesn't waste any time in bending me over the sink, grabbing my hands to lay them flat against the mirror. For a woman with my height, the gap was quite a discomfort, leaving me stretched down to the tip of my toes and it didn't help that he had to spread my legs wide apart. Though I must say, the feel of his front firmly pressing on my backside does dull the thoughts of unease to nonexistence. Opposite to his roughness, his fingers are gentle when he moves my hair to one side, leaving one side of my neck and shoulders susceptible to his kisses.
"You look so good like this Mia" He whispered against the juncture between my neck and shoulder, tongue occasionally darting out to taste the skin there. One of his hands moved to cup my breast while the other ventured south, eventually finding its place below my ass as one finger traced my slit.
"Two years and I can still get you so fucking wet. I love it babe." He mumbled in my ear before lightly biting the lobe. I didn't know whether to be irritated or embarrassed by this sudden change in Harry and though I am almost tempted to slap the cockiness out of him, I don't – or rather I can't, as the pleasure leaves me a breathless, whimpering mess and of course, he knows this.
"You still on birth control?"
I could only manage a nod as a response and just like that all play was gone as I watched his eyes almost blacken and entered me in one hard thrust.
I screamed.
"F-fuck, did it h-hurt?" He asked, voice muffled by my neck, sounding in search of control.
"N-no" I just forgot how big you are.
Harry didn't need to be told twice as he pulled out only to push back in, his left hand relentless in giving my chest affection while his other gripped the edge tightly as he rocked into me. One of my hands instinctively wrapped on his nape, feeling the strained muscles there as he moved into a semi-frantic state, as if determined to bring us into ecstasy soon. It puzzled me how he could still move, being thoroughly pressed against me. But I didn't mind, truth is I loved it.
He is divine.
And to have him inside me again after so long made me delirious.
"Harry" I mewled, my head dropping against his shoulder as my eyes closed, my nails scraping against the surface of the mirror as my fist curled and uncurled. I could feel the slap of his hips against my rear as his thick length penetrated me deeply and thoroughly. I turned my head towards him, eyes opening a fracture only to find him absorbed in staring at me.
"You're so beautiful baby" he murmured, repeating his words from earlier in a situation very much like this.
"Kiss me" I said, and he did. He lightly rolled his lips against mine, tongue tracing my lips before pushing for entrance. At first I expected him to kiss me in a way that would match our intercourse. But no, he kept it unhurried, sweet and to me it made our union all the more perfect. It was also during our kiss when he hit a spot in me that made me shudder in his arms. I know he took notice of this as he became very particular in hitting it over and over again. One thing though that had me guessing if he knew – was the way my clit would constantly push against the cold marble with each of his hard thrusts. But honestly, it wasn't any bit painful, it was just another thing that made my thighs slicker with my fluids – even when I am yet to come.
Our kiss was halted when my mouth fell open, moans escaping me without my permission. "I want you to open your eyes baby" Harry rasped out, panting. "Look at us" he continued and I did, following his gaze that was set on the mirror.
I gasped.
My lips were red, swollen and puckered, partly open as moans continued to tumble off me. My hair swept to one side, looking very windswept while my eyes were hooded with so much lust and desire. He on the other hand, though expression wasn't far from mine, made my insides coil. His hair was untamed from the assault of my fingers, veins pulsing, eyes wild and teeth bared – I have never seen him look so primal, so carnal and yes I want him to ravish me. Steam was practically rolling of our heated, clammy skin as clouds of it gathered, partly fogging the mirror.
"Tell me Mia, you think another man can make you look like this?" He asked, meeting my stare in our reflection, the movement of his hips never ceasing. "Can another man touch you like this? Make you feel like this? Can another man fuck you the way I do?"
Loud moans were my only response as his crude questions and raspy tone made my body convulse in his arms. His uncouth remarks, his roughness – it all made sense now. He wanted to prove a point – that true to his words, he wanted me to admit that no man could ever make me wet and wanting the way he does, that no man can leave me sated yet begging for more like he does. He needed to hear it, to erase whatever images of me and Justin that have been conjured up in his mind.
But the thing is, I needed this too, perhaps even more and here he is reminding me the truth to his declaration – that no matter who and how many he had bedded before – this thing, between me and him is different.
I needed to remember that.
"Only you Harry, only you" I said, angling my head in search of his mouth. Seeing my gesture, Harry turned his head as well but never fully sealing the gap, only made his lips brush against mine.
"Then show me babe, show me how good I can make you feel" Lips colliding with mine, I felt my end finally arrive with one solid thrust of his. Screaming into his mouth, my release slowly trickled down my legs, but we certainly didn't mind. I knew Harry was nearing his climax too as his movements became irregular and sloppy, nonetheless still pleasurable. With a grunt I feel him still inside me as he came. Parting our lips, my head rolled onto his shoulder once more, if it wasn't for him, I knew I'd long fallen to the cold tiles.
With careful movements, I feel Harry pull out of me before gathering me in his arms and carrying me towards the bed. My eyes suddenly became droopy as all my muscles limped, the last things awareness leaving me behind were a pair of lips on my forehead and protective arms clinging to me on the mattress.
"Please don't leave me baby" a whisper softly caressed the skin of my neck before consciousness bid me a goodnight.