Flossy woke up the next morning to rain hitting her roof, though it sounded more like soldiers marching to war. it was a serene moment that kept her under the covers for a few moments longer after her alarm sounded the tunes of the Imperial March, starting off her day on an angsty note. she eventually got out of bed and began her normal routine with a shower, but not before admiring the small moment that encouraged her that today was going to be a good day.
half an hour later she sat on one of the chairs near the kitchen island, smiling as she watched a link that Calum had sent her just before she went to bed. her makeup had been done to her standard of perfection: eyeliner wing just pointed enough to look like it was effortless, mascara making her eyelashes look naturally long, and lipstick dark enough to catch the attention of any person who might wonder what it felt to kiss them. she knew that girls - and even some daring boys - in that same moment were filling in eyebrows, applying highlights, or even covering their imperfection with perfectly contoured foundation. she probably could do all of that along with them but honestly she didn't have the time, attention span, care, nor the need to wear all of that makeup. she thought those people looked beautiful whether they wore $100 dollar makeup or even none at all, as long as they felt content and comfortable.
Chessie came down the steps at around 5:45 and noticed how wide her older sister was smiling, in addition to the way her eyes were enkindled under the dim light of the sunrise and couldn't hide the smirk at the sight. she had never seen her sister quite like that before.
"it's raining outside and you're smiling like you're the reason the sun is out. what gives?!"
"I'm going to break up with Diff today," Flossy answered her sister, the smile peeking out from the sides of her mouth. it was such a contrast: smiling when speaking of a decision that could emotionally hurt someone else. however, it was just a revelation that Chessie had been wishing on the stars for since Calum became a factor in Flossy's love life math equation.
"does Calum know?"
Flossy shook her head at her sister. "we never really talked about how we feel about one another, but we know it's there. he never forced me to break up with him either because he knows that whatever I feel is more towards him than Diff."
"and how do you feel?" immediately flung out of Chessie's mouth before her brain could even tell her not to ask. she always loved hearing about her older sister's boy gossip even when they were kids, mostly because she never got any and wanted to know what it was like. now that Chessie is 16, and Flossy 17, it's much more than just wanting to know her sister's drama. it's more like wanting to know who's at the top of her murder list if someone were to hurt her, or even just wanting her sister to be happy with whoever could make her organically produce that emotion.
Flossy actually had to think about how to word what she's been feeling since that fateful October day that she made the rash decision to sit next to Calum in English. "I've been with Diff pretty much the entirety of my high school career, and even before him I was with different guys just because I wanted to see what it was like to be in a relationship. this is Calum, though and everything is different with him in comparison.
"to me, he's the sun coming through the clouds after he worst hurricane of the summer. he's the sun peeking through my windows in the morning, prying me out of bed. he's the thought that pops into my head every so often and can make me smile no matter what. he's the blood pumping through my body. he's the stars that light up my sky at night, keeping me safe from all harm. he's the air on a warm day accompanied by a few spurts of wind to keep things cool at the same time. he's -"
"okay I get the jest of it," her younger sister interrupted, "but why don't you tell him this? I mean, everyone and their mother knows that he's had feelings for you since even before you two got close."
"but what if he doesn't actually like me? what if after all this time I, and everyone else who agrees with you, over-analyzed everything and he just wants me to be his best friend?" Flossy's eyes were wider than her sister had ever seen them and she continuously shook her head. "he's my best friend, he's everything to me and I can't lose him just because I'm in -" she stopped herself short with a shaky hand over her mouth.
"you're in what?!" Chessie shrieked in response while she grinned from ear to ear. "go ahead, finish that sentence."
Flossy had developed early with her feelings towards boys and started "dating" at an early age but it was never like this. she never solely depended on another for her happiness or was just happy thinking about the person. she had looked up the definition of the word love more times than she could count and still never really cognized what it actually meant but when she looked at him at any given moment, all she could think was, "God I'm in love with him."
"fine," Flossy exasperated, "I'm in love with Calum Hood. happy now?"
Chessie simply grinned contently, much like a puppy dog. "very."
Flossy rolled her caramel eyes in response then got off the island chair to place her utensils in the sink. as she brushed by the younger of the two, she ruffled her hair and proceeded up the stairs to finish getting ready for the long day ahead of her.
❦
Flossy's heart was hammering out of her chest, she wouldn't be surprised if she tripped or collapsed in the middle of the hallway from it. people were chattering in the corridor like always but it was soft enough to hear her boot buckles quake with every step she took towards her locker.
Calum got driven in by his friends but even when they were running late, he was so much earlier than Flossy. he was usually found waiting by her locker, looking up and down the halls for her. as she approached the metal, she was the one who was looking around for her owner like a lost puppy would. the one day she desperately needed to see him in the morning, he was nowhere to be found.
upon her frantic search, she spotted Diff walking down from the opposite direction she did. it was her intention to talk to him after school so he wouldn't go through the day upset or angry but as she watched him approach her in the way she liked to remember him best, and his icy oceanic eyes met hers, she realized that it would be the only time that could suffice.
she grabbed his forearm and led him to stand against her locker, the exact place Calum would stand with her. Diff didn't look mad, he didn't look sad, he just didn't look . . . anything. she immediately asked if he was doing okay, to which he replied with a shrug. she let out a breath as the stress climbed up through her body from her feet.
"I don't think that we should be . . . involved anymore," she spoke, not finding a better word to describe their interactions. "the truth is we just use each other until the other is dry and left to find someone else to get some sort of feeling from. it's exhausting to have to come home to that kind of air being bounced off the walls and inhabiting the space."
he didn't use words, his fists, or even his body to react to her words; he just blinked.
"we can still talk and support each other, I just think we should keep things platonic between us." again, he did not react and just blinked in agreement. it kind of set Flossy off. yes, she was stating how she felt but her tone indicated that she wanted his input as well. his lack of tone indicated he couldn't be bothered with the conversation at all. on edge and frustrated, she asked, "what do you think?"
"I have a feeling that you're about to tell me what I think," he dejectedly replied.
involuntarily, Flossy rolled her eyes and sighed in a frustrated manner. nothing was easy with Diff before and she felt foolish for assuming this situation would be different. "it's just not fair for either of us to treat the other like property instead of people. I'm unhappy, you're unhappy, and the people who have to put up with us together are unhappy, because of us. I'm not in love with you like I was yesterday."
his blue eyes went from the skies that accompanied the happiest of days, to that of a balmy storm. she noticed his chest rise and fall quicker than before, like he ran a mile before he got to this point. she, as well as anyone else, could tell that he was getting angry, but for what reason? no one could have guessed.
"it's because you realize you're in love with Calum, right?" Flossy couldn't respond. she couldn't even look at him. she explained her feelings to her sister just half an hour earlier and even if this was a calm and comfortable environment, she wouldn't have explained it again. she felt as though these were secrets she had to bury in the closet of her heart, never to see the light of day to anyone else but that important person. she took a single step backward but Diff was quick with his movements by capturing her back with his soft hands and keeping her in place. his brows were furrowed with urgency and his icy eyes were dilated with fear. "what if I told you right now that I loved you? what if I said that I've loved you even when you thought I didn't?"
Flossy simply blinked up at him with uncertainty while the entirety of her body recoiled from him. "then I would say it's just an excuse to get me to stay," she said simply. "if any of what you said was true, I wouldn't feel what I do for someone else."
she saw how his entire body seemed to deflate right before her eyes. his arms slowly slid from the hold around her to resting by his sides, the way chains fall to the ground when they're unfastened. she hadn't realized until that moment just how grey his eyes really were; they weren't bright with happiness nor dark with anger, they were simply in a homeostasis of depression. more often than not she either brightened his eyes or dulled them with angry lust but she noticed then that without her, he'd see everything for the lack of color the world really had beneath the glittered lies it supplied to bystanders.
not even her puppet master could stop her from bringing him into her embrace and robbing him of his breath with simply her presence one last time. she spoke quietly into his ear, "what hurts me most isn't the still accentuated pain from your infidelity, it's the ludicrous idea you have that I don't know you at all." she unhinged herself from him but kept a hard grip on his shoulders as she passionately looked up into his eyes, hoping he feels the emotion in her next monologue. "I know you more than I know anyone and I can see it clear as day that something is going on with you. the sexual tension between us has dissolved but I still deeply care about you and I want you to talk to me about these things because I know you won't say anything about it otherwise."
there was nothing Diff could do but keep her close to his cold body and press a kiss to the top of her forehead, conveying all the letters to the words he could have said with the pressure of his lips. he kept her there for a few more seconds before he caught the hard, brown eyes of a tan boy who would give anything to be in his position. he drew from Flossy and looked into his eyes as Calum walked away with a chip on his shoulder.
"before you jump the gun with Calum, just remember he hasn't told you, or even showed you, everything that he is." and then, he got in real close to her ear and whispered, "soccer fields. after school." she would have implored him to give her more insight on the clue, if the bell hadn't rung, leaving him to walk into the crowd of hustling students like smoke into the night.
❦
Calum was in all of his classes like usual but there was something off about him that Flossy noticed as soon as she walked into her first period classroom. she sat next to him but he never once looked at her, spoke to her, or even generally acknowledged that she was beside him. she would have tried to talk to him, but she knew he wouldn't respond and there was no point in even trying when she would just look clingy and vulnerable.
she wasn't the only one who noticed something going on between the two of them. many of the jocks, snobs, and even the silent kids in the back looked their way during the classes they had together more times than Flossy accounted for. they shared looks among their friends, silently asking for information on the power couple if they had any.
throughout the day that felt never ending, she thought a lot about her current predicament. the concept that really stumped Flossy was that last night they were texting like everything was fine. she went back through the texts a million times that day, rereading her every response to see where she could've gone wrong and analyzing his every response for insight to a correlation to this. they were just as flirty as always, since the night they got together after all. they were sending each other links to edits, talking about music, and complaining about work they avoided doing. whatever drove him to distance himself from her happened between 11:37 pm and 7:26 am. all she had to find out was the origin of whatever it was.
the question that was a broken record in her head was, what went wrong? was it something she said? was it something she did? was it someone else that was hurting him so he pushed her away, just like she had him a few days ago? her mind was a closet and she was pushing through the clothes of the words they shared to find the outfit she was looking for, the one that would lead her to resulted to this. all the clues to the treasure map led her through rabbit holes and forbidden forests to an empty crate in the end.
before Flossy realized it, the end of the day drew near and she was anxious to see what Diff foretold her. the halls quickly permeated with students going to their lockers, talking loudly with their friends, and just trying to get to their cars or buses. Flossy didn't fit into any of those three categories. she found the nearest bathroom and kept out of sight in there until the sound died down to nothing. even after that, she stayed until around 3:30 because she didn't like being punctual when it came to things revolving around school.
she stood in awe on the top of the hill, peering down at the practice taking place before her eyes. she was yards away yet she could've picked him out of a crowd containing millions. Calum was dashing down the field with the ball at his feet, the wind in his hair, and the happiness he needed to survive in his heart. he was lighting across the field. he was her own Barry Allen, though he wasn't going faster than the speed of sound like she first thought when she saw him in action.
she thought back to the posters hanging on his wall of the stars of the sport, and remembered how she immediately associated them with just loving how they played. it wasn't until she sat down on the hill - after she made sure it was dry from the earlier rain - and watched the scene from what felt like a bird's nest that she thought he looked up to those men and women as role models. when she remembered the first night she went in his house and when he walked up all muddy and sweaty, she almost smacked herself for not realizing before that he was practicing for this specific moment.
though Flossy was happy he was pursuing something he loved and found herself silently cheering him on, there was an ache in her chest she couldn't describe. she felt betrayed that he hadn't even mentioned that he played the sport, let alone trying out for the team. she felt discouraged because she knew that even if they tried to stay friends, these jocks would ultimately seduce him to the dark side and she would never be friends with someone who did the things that they did. she wondered what else would be in the air because of this decision.
she would have gone down to congratulate him, if only the Indian goddess Ophelia Maydrake hadn't beat her to it. suddenly, she felt shy and vulnerable in this situation, like she and Calum switched places. usually she would've run down there and immediately embraced him without a second thought or care as to the opinions of all the popular bystanders, but she was a fish out of water walking on new ground.
the thing about Ophelia Maydrake wasn't only that she had the best grades of the class for the women and everyone adored her, but also her family owned everything in Croydon. Flossy and Ophelia never had an ongoing feud since preschool when one sneezed in the other's macaroni and cheese, but they also weren't particularly fond of one another either. they were both epitomes of what the other despised.
she saw the way Ophelia was putting the moves on Calum with her doe eyes and big smiles. what shocked her most was that Calum was looking down at her with deep smirks and jokes that were oh so funny to Ophelia. if she didn't feel discouraged enough about telling Calum how she felt, this definitely was yet another nail on the wall. she decided that was where enough was enough.
she didn't think about him until later when she was going to bed. despite the day's complications, she still found herself thinking about the two of them dating or just being together. it wasn't a nightly routine but she did do it more than just sometimes. an incredibly radiant smile snuck up on her lips at the thought of him and she just couldn't let it go. her heart started to pump blood to her body just a little bit faster just by thinking of him, picturing him in her mind kissing her again and telling her he hated her with those loving eyes that suggested otherwise. she knew she loved him but damn she was a fool for him.
she walked past her window to turn off her light only to see something on the opposite side that was caught in the corner of her eye. slowly she walked back out to see what it was. looking out, she noticed that Calum's light was on and his muscled back was to her. she admired the sight before he turned around and shoved a girl with skin of caramel onto his bed.Ophelia managed to scramble to tear her clothes off while he took off his boxers and pants in one swift movement. Flossy was hurt and shocked by the scene playing before her but it was like a car crash and she just couldn't look away.
Flossy realized that this was her and Calum just a week ago and now it seemed like he completely forgot she existed. the astonishment and anguish quickly melted into anger as her eyes swelled with hot tears. just when he began to start, he got the notion that someone was watching him and he looked up across the yard to see Flossy killing him with her eyes. he had no disdain for his actions and instead, rolled his hips deeper into the Indian girl and smirked right at her, hoping that she would get utterly hurt by his decision making.
she abruptly shut the curtains and turned around like a whip. she felt the tears start to fall from her cheeks but before they hit her chest, she wiped them away and told herself repeatedly not to cry. she wasted too many tears already on boys who didn't deserve them and even though she thought he was different, he proved to be just like the rest. she would not shed her tears for any boy who played with her heart like it was a toy in the sand box.
I KNOW YOURE ALL PROBABLY V MAD AND CONFUSED BUT DONT WORRY ITLL ALL BE EXPLAINED FROM CALS POV NEXT CHAPTER. THIS IS WHERE IT REALLY SETS OFF SO BUCKLE UP ITS A LONG ROAD
dedication to @Dee2Dyson for her sweet comment :)))) bUT OK Am I the only one who is sick of a blond annoying girl being the most popular girl at school? like in most fics the guy is going to cheat on the girl with a blonde or brunette who everyone adores but I was like nah let me use a woc instead and that is how Ophelia came about
I really wanna know what you guys are thinking about this like why cal did what he did and what's going on with Diff etc so leave some comments pls !!