Blank, everything was blank.
White; it was just plain white.
Not a single thing from the past four years was in my memories, I had no idea how I got to the hospital; that I went to France, that I came back and most important that I lost my mother.
You're life is suppose to be full of endless memories but what can you do when the last four years of your life was wide out from existence?
"Are you going to be okay?" My dad asked me as he placed the bag on top of the hospital bed. "Alex, will you be fine?"
I nodded slowly; I had said yes to those questions since I woke up that eventually I had my convinced myself that it was actually the truth and not a lie as it had started.
"I'll be fine dad it's not like I can't dress up myself." I said with a smile. "You have nothing to worry about."
My dad smiled back at me and went outside.
After a week and a half in the hospital Doctor Bay had decided that I was good enough to leave the hospital which had me more than happy since I was miserable in the bed.
It was killing me to be tied down to that bed surrounded by white walls, so quite but most important I couldn't take it anymore because of my thoughts. Being there in the hospital gave me a lot of spare time to think.
The worst part of it was that my thoughts revolt around Ian and what he said about me, about us.
Counting all the damage I had in me was just a broken leg, some bruises and the cut I had on my skull but all those seem less important next to the memory loss. It bothered me that I didn't know what had happen the last months of my life, the last four years of my life.
I could see how some people around me were suffering because of this but no one was suffering like Ian was. According to my brother Ian and I were dating, he said that I was in love and happy but when I saw Ian I didn't feel anything at all just curiosity to know what he thinking.
It was haunting me; there was no way I could escape. Every second was a torture and nothing less.
My dad brought me a blue dress and some boots but since I had the cast I only got to use one, after I was done I called my dad.
"Are you all set?" He asked me. "You're ready to leave Alex?"
I nodded, I hated to see my dad like this so worried.
He treated me like I was some fragile doll that could break at any moment. But maybe they were right.
I had never felt so fragile.
Never felt so vulnerable in my life before...
After Doctor Bay gave me a last check up I was able to leave, as I got home I didn't recognize the house. It was prettier, there was a very green garden and it was just like how my mom already dreamt it would like.
"Welcome home." Andres said as he helps me get out of the car and into the wheelchair. "Let me help you sissy."
We went inside the house where my Aunt Marie, Nina and Blake were waiting for us.
"Why don't you take Alex to her room and help her unpack?" My Aunt Marie asked Nina. "We'll make dinner for all of you and call when it's ready."
Nina nodded and with Andres' help they took me to my room.
There was a huge change in my room, there was just plain black furniture and very light blue walls and I loved it.
"I'll leave you two alone." Andres said and left the room. "I'll come and get you when Aunt Marie is done with dinner."
"So how are you dealing with all of this so far?" Nina asked me once we were alone. "You're really okay? How do you feel about all of this?"
"Like shit, I don't remember anything as hard as I try I can't and it's frustrating. It's like trying to watch TV when there is Static at the end it makes my head hurt." I said with a sight as I ran my fingers through my hair. "I want to remember so badly but I just can't."
"The doctor said to give it some time you can just expect for it to come back in one hit, do you?" Nina said as she looked at me. "You didn't expect that, right?"
I shrugged.
"I just feel that with this memory loss I'm hurting people." I said with a sight as I remembered Ian's painful expression. "I hate hurting all of you."
"You are not hurting anyone Alex; everyone is happy that are okay, that you are alive." Nina said as she looked at me with a small smile. "You're alive and we couldn't be anymore joyful about that."
"What about Ian?" I asked her. "You saw him that day."
She gave a sight.
"I think that Ian prefers that you don't remember what happen between you two instead of you being dead." Nina said as she sat on my bed. "You should've seen him when we all thought that we had lost you."
"Nina when I saw the amount of sadness and hurt his eyes held I felt my heart break but it's strange since when I see him I don't feel love or happiness but rage and anger." I said as I shook my head. "I just don't even understand myself right now, I try to but it's like I'm in some world where I don't belong, I feel that everything is wrong, nothing is right to me."
"Just give it time." Nina said as she rubbed my knee. "You'll eventually see a way out of all of this mess."
I got to the balcony and saw that the backyard had also changed.
"We have a pool?" I said shocked. "Since when do we have a pool?"
Nina walked towards me and slightly leaned against the wheel chair.
"When you left to France our cousin lived here and he changed a lot of things with of course your mother's permission. He tired to do your mom's dream house." Nina said with a small smile. "It's perfect, don't you think?"
"What happen when I went to France?" I asked her. "What happened there Nina, what happened to me?"
"Well, after bonding and knowing what was going on with your mother you kind of started to change in a good way. Suddenly the fragile little Alexis that shy girl you used to be it's no longer there, it was long gone forever, and there was this rock badass Alex ready to take the world." Nina said with a proud smile. "You were stronger than anyone I met before."
I smiled.
"That sounds like something that came out from a fiction book." I said with a smile. "I don't think I could ever be something like that."
"It's a true story." Nina said as she looked at me. "You really are all of those amazing things, you just have to realize that yourself."
I gave a small scoff and went back to my room where a red head girl was waiting for me.
"Sorry, the door was open so I came in." She said with a shy smile. "I hope you don't mind."
She had wavy red hair, blue gray eyes and a porcelain skin just like mine.
"I'm Maggie." She said once she caught me staring at her. "You don't remember me, right?"
"I'm sorry but I don't remember you." I said as I looked at her. "I'm trying to but I can't."
"I know that is why I came here." She said in a soft voice. "I think I can help you."
"Why?" I asked. "How can you?"
"I met you a few days after school started, Collin was bulling me and you came into my rescue. I looked at you in admiration, you had stood up for me and nobody had ever done that for me. You became my friend and even people in school admire you since you decided to make Heather, Collin and Brad stop." Maggie said as she met my gaze. "You were some kind of superhero."
"Brad?" I asked confused. "You say I stopped him?"
"He had his dark side too but that is for you to figure out." Maggie said and shrugged. "I won't get between that."
"Girls dinner is ready." My dad said as he poked his head by the door. "Your Aunt Maggie is waiting for you."
"We'll be down in a sec." I told him. "I just need a little bit of help here."
My Aunt Marie, dad, Andres, Maggie, Blake, Nina and I were in the dinning room.
"I made for dessert some Cinnamon Buns, but you will get them as soon as you eat your dinner." My Aunt Marie said. "Not before."
"But I can't I-." I said pouting.
They were so good and I wanted them to be mine and mine only.
My precious....
"No buts miss." She said. "You eat your food first."
As we were about to eat someone knocked the door.
"I'll go." My dad said. "You stay here."
He went to open it and I heard a female voice.
"Is she here?" The voice said. "Can we see her?"
"Yes, they are all in the dining room." My dad answered her.
I heard her high heels before I saw her.
"Alex!" She said as she ran towards me and hugged me.
"Hi." I said as I felt her squeezed me. "Oh, hi there it's nice to see you?"
"Rachel be careful, you can hurt her. She just came out from the hospital." Mrs. Valentine said. "You have to be more careful."
"Oops, sorry I forgot." Rachel said as she stepped back from me. "I was just so excited to finally see you."
Rachel had changed her once long hair was in a short pixie cut that made her look Sassy, she was wearing some skinny blue jeans, a long white coat and some high knee boots with heels.
"You look amazing." I told her. "Wow, I really didn't know it was you."
"You look beautiful too Alex, I almost didn't recognize you. You hair is longer, you are taller even though you are sitting and love that style." Rachel said as she looked at me with a smile. "It suits you."
Somehow hearing her voice again made me feel fifteen again, meaning that it made me feel like nothing was wrong with me.
"Poor little thing." Mrs. Valentine said as she hugged me, "They left you all bruised up."
Mrs. Valentine had her hair shorter and it was still the same shade of light brown that I always remembered.
"I'll be fine." I said with a smile.
"Have you heard a thing about the police?" Mr. Valentine asked my dad as he came in the dinning room. "Have they said anything about it?"
He didn't change like everyone else, he still had his brown hair and intense blue eyes that Ian and Rachel had inherit from him.
"Not a thing we can't do anything about the whole Heather thing since Alex doesn't remember anything. Without evidence it is hard to put up a trial against Heather." My dad said. "It's not quite fair at all if you ask me."
"But there is evidence, Alex is sitting in a wheelchair, she has bruises, a broken leg and she hurt her head. Isn't that enough?" Rachel said mad. "Is that enough to get that bitch of Heather in jail?"
"Apparently to the police it's not much less with the power Heather's father has against the police." My dad said as he shook his head. "We really can't do anything."
"But they have to see the fact of the accident almost killed Alex!" Mr. Valentine said as he shook his head in disbelief.
Mrs. Valentine tied to calm down Rachel's dad, as we started to eat I looked around and saw that Ian wasn't here among us.
After we were done eating I was in the living room with Nina, Maggie and Rachel.
"So have you thought what my mom offered you?" Nina asked me. "Have you Alex?"
"About what, what did she offered me?" I asked her confused. "What was it again?"
"About going to France with us, do you want to go?" She said. "She needs to know."
"I don't know, I still have some things to solve here plus I can't leave Andres and my dad. Do imagine what they would do with an adult supervision." I said as I gave a sight. "They will burn the house within minutes."
"Hey, I can hear you!" Andres yelled from the bathroom. "And it would be hours actually!"
"You're not really helping your case Andres!" I yelled back.
Nina giggled and made Maggie go with her to the kitchen to help with the dishes.
Once Rachel and I were alone I asked the question that had been hunting me all dinner long, I just couldn't stop thinking about it.
"Where is Ian?" I asked her. "Why didn't he come?"
"He decided to stay in the house." Rachel said with a small smile. "He didn't want to come."
"Why?" I asked her. "Is there something wrong?"
"He thought that it would be better if he gave you some space after you reaction in the hospital he thought that was the best for now." Rachel said in a small voice. "He'll give you some time."
"I was just shocked in the hospital when he kissed me out of nowhere." I said in my defense. "But that didn't mean I didn't want to see him ever again."
"Alex, don't blame him, when you arrived to the hospital you were in a very critical position and when he woke up you were in a deep coma doctor said that if you woke up it would be considered a miracle. Ian sat there the whole day waiting for you to wake up when your heart started to fail, after the doctors took him outside so they could save you he stayed there until you woke up. And when he saw that you were awake he couldn't hold himself back." Rachel said as she looked at me. "Ian thought he had lost you."
"He really loves me." I said in a soft voice. "I just can't even bring myself to do the same thing, not like this but he does."
"More than anything, I'm sure that Ian wouldn't even think twice before giving up his life for yours." Rachel said as she held my hand. "He would do anything for you honestly."
"But I don't get it the last thing I remember about Ian is having a fight him where he broke my heart for the first time ever, so whenever I see him that is all I can think about." I said as I shook my head. "I just see him and that's all that replays in my head."
"Just give it some time." Rachel said before she got up and left me there alone.
"Are you sure about this Alex?" My Aunt asked me. "You really want that?"
"Yes, I can't leave this place. I can't leave my dad and Andres." I said as I leaned against the chair. "I can't leave, at least not yet."
"Fine, I respect your decision but I will stay here for a few months Nina and Blake will enroll with you at school and I will take care of you until you get better." She said. "Is that alright with you?"
I gave a tiny smile.
"Thanks Aunt Marie." I said as I tried not to cry, she was all I had left that reminded me of my mum.
They always did look alike.
"Your welcome honey now I'm going to get your bath ready." She said before she left the room.
I made Nina take me to the living room where I sat next to the Piano.
"So Blake and I used to date?" I asked her. "We really did?"
"Yeah, but it was only like a week or so because you realized you were better off as friends, then after a couple of years you left France and after a while both of decided that you two weren't meant to be." Nina said and shrugged. "You said that it was for the best?"
"And when did you two started to date?" I asked her with a small smirk. "When did it start exactly?"
"What?" She said surprised.
"Come on Nina, I might be in a wheelchair with a broken leg and I might have amnesia but I'm not stupid I can tell the way you look in each others eyes that you are in love." I said as I looked at her. "The moment I saw the two of you I knew."
Nina just sat there in the sofa.
Quiet and Guilty; very guilty if I may add because it was eating Nina alive and I could tell how nervous she was.
"Alex I don't think that-." Nina started to say before I cut her off.
"Nina I get if you two are try to respectful in front of me but it's okay because I don't remember being with Blake so I don't think it will be awkward and I think it's wonderful that you have someone that loves you." I said honestly. "It doesn't bother me at all."
"You really think so?" She asked me. "You think he loves me?"
"I'm very sure." I said as I smiled. "And I know that you love him too."
I looked at the piano and started to play the keys not following any order until slowly I got to a song.
"The reason why I smile, you're the reason why." I sang slowly before I chuckled to myself smiling at the melody.
"What did you just say?" Nina asked me. "Alex, what did you just say?"
"I don't know it just came out with the melody thought I don't think I wrote this or heard it before." I said before I shook my head. "No, I'm probably just imagining everything."
Nina was about to say something when someone knocked on the front door.
"I'll be back." She said before she got up.
I heard Nina open the door.
"Is Alex here?" A male voice asked. "Can I see her?"
"Why do you want to see her?" Nina asked him. "Why?"
"I need to talk to her, it's urgent." He said back. "Please just let me see her."
"I don't think that she is in the condition to be dealing with things that are urgent. Alex needs to rest." Nina said cutting him off. "They're doctor orders."
"Please it will only take a few seconds." He said insisting. "It'll be quick."
"Nina who's at the door; Nina, who is looking for me and why do they sat that is it so urgent?" I asked as I made my way to the door.
"I don't know." Nina said. "Just stay in the living room Alex."
I got to the door and saw him.
"Brad?" I said confused. "Is that really you?"
"Hi Alex, it's nice to see you." Brad said as he looked at me with a smirk.
"Brad, what are you doing here?" I asked him. "Why are you here?"
"I came here to confess something." Brad said as he met my gaze. "Something I should've told you long time ago."
"Oh so you are Brad, The Brad." Nina said in a mad tone. "We finally met."
"Do I know you?" Brad asked Nina confused.
"No and you're lucky to not know me but I have to tell you something I know every single thing you did to my cousin and do think that you are getting out of it so easily." Nina said as she glared at him. "You won't."
"Nina." I said as I looked at her. "Please?"
"I'll be in the living room." She said as she glared at Brad and left.
"What do you want to confess?" I asked him once we were alone. "What is it Brad?"
"Look I know what Heather did to you and I had no idea that she was going to do that to you much less try to kill you." Brad said as he met my gaze. "I really didn't know and if I did I would've stopped her."
"I'm not getting your point." I said confused.
"I know I can't apologize for what Heather did to you but I can at least come here to beg you." Brad said as he got to his knees. "I will beg you Alex."
"What are you doing? Get up!" I hissed at him. "Come on Brad."
"Alexandra Stoneheart, I have been a jerk and a stupid guy to you but what I'm asking, begging is will you forgive me?" He asked me as he started at me in the eyes.
"Brad I can't-." I started to say before he cut me off.
"Please Alex." He said with pleading eyes. "I beg you to."
"I don't know exactly what you did to me but if you're really sorry-." I started to say, what was all of this about?
"I am; I swear I am so sorry." Brad said cutting me off again. "You have no idea how sorry I am."
"Then I forgive you." I said. "But please get up."
"You do?" He asked me shocked. "You really forgive me?"
I nodded.
"I forgive you." I said. "Just get up man, it's embarrassing."
"Thank you Alex." Brad said as he got up and hugged me.
"But I just hope that your actions won't happen again." I said. "Just don't."
"They won't and I have a way to prove you." Brad said with a smile.
"How, how can you exactly prove it Brad, how would you?" I asked him.
"Like this." He said before he kissed me.
When Brad broke the kiss I started at him.
"Brad I think you-." I started to say but stopped when I saw someone behind him. "Ian."
He was here.
Ian looked at me straight in the eyes before he walked away.
I just sat there and saw how he left...