- Elise's POV -
I hadn't moved from my bed in exactly three days, I felt like the bed was swallowing me up because my body had made the biggest indent from staying in one place too long. My room was in darkness and it was almost suffocating to be in it but I couldn't move, I didn't want to move knowing Rae wasn't okay.
Every few hours my mum would tip toe into my bedroom and sit at the edge of my bed, she would just smile at me and then try to open the curtains but I would tell her off.
"I know you're scared Elise but you need some fresh air, you need to eat" She would say with so much worry in her face, then I'd just hide under the blankets.
My parents were letting me take a few days off school and my placement at the hospital because of what was going on, my mum and Rae's mum were now talking daily and she was updating us on how Rae was doing.
My phone was sitting on the desk across the room with hundreds of messages from my school friends wondering why I wasn't showing up to my job.
Suddenly my mum burst into my bedroom minutes after she had already left, it made me feel like she had gotten news or something was wrong. I sat up quickly and stared at her as she paced around my room lifting up the dirty laundry and opening the curtains fully.
"What are you doing?" I asked bluntly while covering my eyes, the brightness made them sting.
"Time to get up" She said while grabbing my hand and dragging me out of bed, my legs felt like jelly when my feet hit the floor. I stood up properly and told her to leave my bedroom so I could get out of my pyjamas in peace. I opened my bedroom window to let some fresh air into the room which was definitely needed. My phone screen continued to light up as I got dressed, Kelsey was spamming me with messages and calls. I picked up my phone and answered her.
"Elise! Finally! I've been calling for days!" Kelsey shouted, I sighed.
"Where have you been? Why haven't you been going to the hospital?" She asked, there was a lot of talking in the background so I speared her the truth.
"Oh nothing really I've just been sick" I muttered as she laughed with the people she was with.
"Right.. Well me and you are having a shopping day this afternoon, it'll make you feel better" She said, most of the time Kelsey makes my decisions for me and I never get a say in anything. I just stood frozen still and closed my eyes because I knew if I told her no she would shout at me for being anti-social.
"What time then?" I sighed loudly while speaking, I walked over to my wardrobe and chose a Disney princess shirt with some jeans.
"In one hour! I'm already in town, meet me at the coffee shop!" Kelsey shouted before hanging up, I rolled my eyes and quickly got dressed. After rushing around my room to grab a handbag and try to make my hair look like it hadn't been neglected for three days I started to feel dizzy, I sat down and took a few breaths until I felt better. I think avoiding food was beginning to take its toll on me..
I walked down the stairs and left the house without saying goodbye to my mum, knowing her she will freak out once she realises I have finally left my bedroom. I made my way to the bus stop and then got off at the first stop which was in the middle of town.
I walked along the busy streets with my head down because I felt more insecure than ever and quite fragile. The coffee shop was in sight and I could see Kelsey sitting at the window surrounded by girls, didn't she tell me it would only be me and her shopping?
I entered the coffee shop to see all of my school friends.. 'The gang'. Everyone turned to look at me when I walked in and Kelsey got up to hug me.
"How are you Elise?" Morgan asked from across the table, I hung my bag on the back of the chair and sat down with them all.
"I'm fine thanks" I muttered, there was seven of us around a small table and it was incredibly cramped. Everyone was talking about their busy social lives and their boyfriends, I sat in silence worrying about Rae. I really shouldn't have left my bedroom.
"So Elise are you still obsessing over that girl who is never going to date you?" Morgan said asking another question, everyone around her stopped talking and looked across the table at me in shock.
"Elise is gay? When did this happen?!" Someone shouted, they all laughed loudly.
"I'm not fucking gay!" I screamed loudly, Kelsey hit me on the arm and gave me an evil glare.
"We're only joking Elise you don't need to shout" Kelsey said before rolling her eyes, I sighed and looked down. There was an awkward silence and then they began to talk about themselves again.
"Do you really like Rae? You know you can't date a patient because you work at that hospital" Kelsey whispered to me while laughing, I stared at her angrily.
"Can you shut the fuck up for at least a minute Kelsey?" I asked rudely, everyone gasped and looked at Kelsey.
"Maybe you should shut the fuck up, stupid lesbo" Morgan snapped across the table. Instead of responding to her I grabbed my bag and made my way to the exit of the cafe.
"Where are you going Elise?! Are you gonna go have sex with your lesbian partner?" Morgan continued to shout across the cafe, strangers were staring at them in disgust. I stopped walking and stormed back over to the table where they all sat.
"RAE IS IN A FUCKING COMA, I HATE YOU ALL" I screamed at the top of my lungs before breaking down in tears, I ran out of the cafe and down the street. Kelsey tried to catch up with me, she was shouting my name and telling me she was sorry but I didn't care. I didn't care that my friends were homophobic and never care to think about my feelings, I just needed a hug from Rae.
I made it to the middle of town where there is a huge fountain, it's always peaceful here. I sat down on the fountain and caught my breath from running, my face was red from crying. I searched through my bag for the piece of paper which Rae's mum gave me at the hospital, it was a letter that Rae had wrote for me.
I still hadn't looked at it, I had no idea what it was about. I was terrified to read it and I put it off every chance I could.
I admired the two words she wrote on the front of the folded page;
"Dear Elise.."
- Louise's POV -
I didn't expect the abortion clinic to be so crowded, I stood outside it and looked through the window into the waiting room where lots of women sat. They all looked much older than me and it terrified me that if I walked into that clinic I would instantly be judged for being so careless when it comes to sex, especially at my age.
My body was shaking in fear and I had no idea what to do, I had nobody to speak to. My friends ditched me once they found out that I had trashed my own house, James left me because I cheated on him and my mum hated me with a passion. I still hadn't told my mum that I was pregnant and I wasn't planning to, I think she would send me away to a home of some sort if she knew.
I looked down at my phone and went into my contacts to search for James, maybe he will listen..
"Hi James, I know you don't want to hear from me but I really need somebody right now. I'm at the abortion clinic by myself and I'm scared..x"
I messaged him and immediately got a response, I didn't even put my phone away and he had already sent me a message back.
"I'll be there in 10 minutes." He replied, I smiled to myself and sat on a bench outside the clinic to wait for him. I closed my eyes to avoid staring into the waiting room and freaking myself out more than before.
There was a tap on my shoulder a few minutes later, I looked up and saw James smiling down at me. I got up and gave him the biggest hug, he held me tightly before leading me into the clinic. It wasn't as busy as I thought it was and most of the women were zoning out pretending they weren't here.
I went to the desk and checked in for my appointment, today I was just receiving information about having an abortion and then I had a few weeks to decide what I wanted to do. Me and James sat down at the back of the waiting room where nobody else was, it was extremely quiet.
"Thank you for coming, I know we aren't suppose to be talking" I whispered to James, he grinned slightly at me.
"This seems like a scary thing to be doing and you shouldn't be alone" He answered, I nodded in agreement. We sat in silence for a moment and I looked around the waiting room walls at the posters about abortion and other awful things about unexpected pregnancy.
"I need to ask you something.." James whispered to me, I stopped internally panicking and looked across at him. He sighed slightly and turned to face me, he looked like he was staring at the bruises on my face from the fight I had with Iris.
"You need to stop bullying Sophia in college, it's not right.." James said seriously, he looked up at me with a frown on his face. I shrugged my shoulders before looking away again.
"I'm serious Louise, why do you hate her so much? You always have and I don't get it" He said with slight anger to his voice, I covered my face with my hands for a moment before glancing back at him.
"You want to know why I hate Sophia? Why I try to make her life hell?" I asked louder than before, James nodded.
"You have always loved her James, you have loved Sophia since the day you met. The way you speak about her and protect her, you are instantly happy when she is around, she makes you a better person.. I guess I'm just jealous because you were suppose to love me but I know that is unfair, all I ever did was put you down and cheat on you" I confessed as my eyes teared up, James looked shocked. He didn't comment or say a word, instead he turned around and sat on the chair properly again.
"Our relationship was a mess Louise" James said while looking across at me again, I locked eyes with him and nodded sadly. Instead of frowning he smiled at me, he leaned across and kissed my forehead.
"But you're right, I'm in love with Sophia" James whispered before smiling widely, I had never seen that genuine smile before. I grabbed his hand and he held mine tightly.
"Thank you for being a part of my life, I'll never forget you" I whispered while holding in my tears.
"You too, it was a pleasure" He responded. I wanted to break down but this was a good moment, we ended on the best terms without any fighting. James was the greatest person in my life and I will always cherish the good memories we had together..
"Louise Adams?" A nurse shouted from one of the treatment rooms, I looked at James in fear and he squeezed my hand.
"Let's go" He whispered while standing up and walking into the room with me.