I woke up the next morning and changed into a pair of sweats and a tank top before putting my hair up in a messy bun. Today was the day I was going to be making a better decision for my life by ending the cycle of pain I was always in. I grabbed my phone and my bag after I put on a pair of flip flops and headed out to my car.
The whole drive to Alex's place, I practiced what I was going to say. I planned on staying calm and just talking to him and end everything as quick as possible. But when I pulled into his driveway I knew it wasn't going to go how I wanted it to. There was a lump in my throat and my stomach was in knots.
I finally got out of the car and walked into the house. I had texted Alex earlier saying that I was coming over to talk to him, so I just walked in without knocking.
"Alex?" I called out. He walked out of the kitchen into the hallway and smiled when he saw me.
"Hey beautiful" He said before kissing me quickly. "What did you want to talk to me about?"
"Can we go to the living room and talk?" I asked. He nodded and took my hand as he led me over to the couch.
"Before you start, I wanted to say something important" He said taking my other hand as well. I nodded for him to go on. He took a deep breath before continuing. "Rebecca I've loved you for so long and I honestly don't know what I would do without you. You're such a big part of my life and I wouldn't change that for the world" He let go of my hands and started to take something out of his pocket. Is he about to do what I think he is? He got down on one knee and opened a velvet box. Fuck! "Will you marry me?" He asked. I looked down at him with a shocked face. I could already feel the tears forming but they weren't happy tears. I stood there silently for a few seconds and I could tell he was getting nervous. "Babe?"
"Alex get up?" I whispered. He looked confused and scared as he stood up.
"What's wrong?" He asked. I looked down and sighed as I started to shake.
"I can't marry you if you keep lying to me" I whispered.
"What are you talking about?" He asked sounding scared. I looked up at him and noticed that he still had the ring out.
"Please just put the ring away" I said and he did before he sat down on the couch. "I know about you texting Tay"
"What?" He asked as he looked up at me. I could see that he was scared.
"I looked at your phone when you got a text from her yesterday morning" I answered. He went from looking scared to looking angry.
"You fucking looked through my phone?" He shouted. I looked at him with wide eyes.
"What the fuck do you expect me to do? You're always avoiding me and when we do hang out all we do is fuck. I saw you had gotten a text that morning and when I saw it was from her I got scared. Can you fucking blame me?" I asked shouting. He stood up from the couch and I could tell this was going to be a shouting match.
"You should've trusted me enough not to" He shouted back at me.
"Excuse me?" I asked feeling my face getting red from anger. "I've been trusting you for too long and look what fucking happened. You've been fucking Tay while you've been with me and you expect me to fucking trust you?"
"She was helping me look for a ring for you!" He shouted. I laughed bitterly at him.
"That's just great. The girl who you cheated on me with the first time was helping you pick out that ring? What so after you found the ring you kept sleeping with her? That excuse is bullshit! I saw all of the messages remember. There was more than one message from her saying that she needed you and that the night before was amazing. If you really were sleeping with her then just fucking tell me!"
"Of course I was fucking her!" He shouted back. My heart shattered and that's when I knew that this was all a joke.
"I should've known you never loved me. If you did I'd be the only girl in your life. Obviously I'm not good enough for you. So my next question is why the fuck would you propose to me if I'm not that girl?" He walked away from me and started pacing.
"It seemed like the right thing to do" He said "You needed someone to love you and that needed to be there for you. How was I supposed to end things when you were having those nightmares and cutting yourself? I didn't think you'd say yes because it was to fast so I chose it as my way out"
"So your answer to that was to cheat on me? What would you have done if I had said yes? Would you still cheat on me if we were married? Did you really think that little of me? That if we'd broke up I wouldn't be able to handle myself? I can't fucking believe you!" I shouted. I grabbed my bag and turned back to him "Well don't worry about me because that isn't your job anymore. We're over" I said walking over to the door "Oh and thank you for making this extremely clear to me. I hope you have a great life." I said before leaving the house slamming the door behind me.
I drove home and sat in the driveway crying. I couldn't believe that I believed that our relationship was real. It could've been at first but obviously it wasn't worth him trying anymore. I gave my all for this relationship and got nothing in return. After a few minutes of me sitting in my car crying, I realized that this was for the best. Now I could take this job offer with nothing holding me back.
When I walked inside, I went straight to my room and opened my email. I noticed that Emily had emailed me all of the information about the job. For this job I had to move to Long Island, New York, which I would be supplied an apartment. I would have to supply my own equipment, which wasn't a problem at all for me. But the one thing that was the most important to me, I would be able to take Lilo with me.
I opened a new email and began typing my answer. As I finished the email accepting the job, I began to think. I needed this job as a new start. After what just happened I don't think I'd be able to stay in Baltimore. Rian would be having the guys over for practice meaning I would see Alex even if I tried to avoid him. This was the best option for me even if it meant leaving my best friends and family miles behind. I just hoped that they would understand.
I had just sent the email when someone knocked on my door. I looked up and saw Rian standing in the doorway. He gave me a weak smile as he walked over to my bed before sitting down next to me.
"I just talked to Alex" He said making me want to start crying again.
"What did he want?" I asked
"I had called him trying to find you but he said you left and he said you left upset" He answered. "He hung up after that so I came up her to look for you and I found you. Everything okay with you two?" I shook my head no.
"We broke up." I said. "He's been sleeping with Tay and I found out yesterday when she texted him. Everything was on his phone and there was no passcode on it so I saw all of the texts." I could tell he was getting angry because he was balling his hands into fists. As I continued to explain everything, I started to feel the tears form again. By the time I finished explaining everything, I was trying to calm my breathing.
"Sh Beck it's going to be okay just breathe" Rian said pulling me into a hug. "He's an asshole and he doesn't deserve you. He never did"
"He asked me to marry him Rian" I said causing him to pull back from the hug.
"He fucking what?" He was obviously pissed. "I'm going to fucking kill him."
"Its not even worth it because I'm moving away" I said and he looked at me like I had five heads. So I explained the job and that I would have to move for it.
"Is this what you want?" He asked. I nodded.
"This is the best job I could ask for right now. It's a new start for me and I can take Lilo. It's perfect" I answered hoping he wouldn't be too upset.
"As long as you know for sure that this is what you want I'm happy for you" He said smiling at me.
"Thank you Ri I needed you to be okay with this" I said and he hugged me again. "Now I just have to tell mom, Anna and Nancy"
"You're not going to tell the guys?" He asked
"I'll tell Jack and Zack but Alex can go fuck himself" I said making him laugh a little.
"Good" He said and looked at me with a small smile. "I'm so proud of you Beck" I smiled and hugged him tightly.
"I'm going to go talk to Anna about all of this. Hopefully she wont be too mad" He let go of me and left me to get ready to leave.
When I got to Anna's place I saw Jack's car in the driveway. I guess I can get telling both of them out of the way.
I walked to the door and knocked just incase they were 'busy'. I stood there for a few seconds before Jack opened the door. He gave me a weak smile before hugging me.
"Alex just called me. I gave him hell for what he did" He whispered before letting me walk in. Anna walked over to me and attacked me in a hug.
"He's such a piece of shit" She said. I just sighed and nodded. "How are you holding up?" I shrugged as we walked over to the living room.
"Honestly, I'm over it." I answered "I'm not going to be here for much longer anyway so I don't have to worry about seeing him with Tay" Anna looked at me the same way Rian did.
"Wait what do you mean?" Jack asked sitting down on the couch next to Anna.
"I got a job offer yesterday. I'll be moving to New York and be working for a company as their equestrian photographer. They're paying for an apartment for me and I can bring Lilo with me. My decision was made as soon as Alex pulled this shit" I explained. Jack smiled and pulled me into a hug.
"That's awesome! Congrats kiddo" He said making me smile back. I looked at Anna and she was smiling weakly while she looked down at her hands.
"You okay Anna?" I asked. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes.
"I knew there was going to be a day where one of us would be moving away because of work. I just thought it wouldn't be so soon." She answered. Tears formed in my eyes as well and I pulled her into a hug.
"I'm always going to be here for you. No matter what you're always going to be my best friend" I said starting to get choked up.
"I'm going to miss you so much" She whispered making me start to cry even more. "You better call me and text me all the time. If you don't I'll drive to New York and kick your ass" I laughed a little before pulling out of the hug.
"What's funny is that I know you'd do that" I said making her laugh too.
"I'll go with her so I better hear from you as well" Jack said patting my shoulder. I laughed and smiled at the two of them.
"Well I'm going to go home and pack. I'll come see you guys before I leave I promise" I said standing up and heading to the door.
I left and went back to my house. When I got inside, I went upstairs and started packing. As I finished packing one of my bags, my phone rang. I picked it up and answered it without looking at the caller ID.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Beck?" Fuck it was Alex.
"What do you want?" I asked harshly. I heard him sigh deeply.
"I um, wanted to, um see if you were okay?" He was pulling shit out of his ass.
"I was perfectly fine until you called me." I said sitting down on my bed. "What's the real reason why you called me?"
"I don't even remember anymore" He said letting out a weak laugh to try and break the tension on the phone.
"Goodbye Alex" I said hanging up even though I heard him call my name. The first thing I needed to do when I moved was change my number. This way only the people who I want to contact me can.
I was beginning to realize that finding out about Alex and Tay was probably the best thing to happen right now. Now I could move without something holding me back in Baltimore. I could start over and make new friends and focus more on my work. I'm more relieved that I found out now instead of when I moved. Who knows what would've happened if I had never found out. I would've either turned down the job offer or I would've found out way too late causing me more pain.
I know now that I have to get out of this town as fast as I can. I would have to say goodbye to my loved ones for a while but this is what I needed. I would have trouble being away from them all for so long but I would have to learn to handle it. I also knew that I had to leave all of this pain behind and that meant keeping everything from Alex and not talking to him for a very long time. For once I felt confident that I would not have a problem with that at all.
As I continued to pack, I began to feel the stress of these past few days wash away. I didn't know what was going to happen when I do leave but I know for sure it will be something amazing.
Look out New York! Rebecca Dawson is on her way to make a name for her self!
Hey everyone! I figured I'd give you another chapter sooner than normal to make up for not updating for a very long time. I hope you enjoy it! Leave me some comments below on what you think of this story in general. Tell me what your favorite and least favorite part is. I want to hear from all of you!
I love you all!
Rebecca <3