Hey guys, sorry I haven't uploaded in AGES! I just didn't know what I wanted to happen. But with a little help (thanks xTwistedHeartx !!) I have finally decided. Thank you for all of you who have been patient with me=D
OH!!! HEADS UP!! If you scroll down and hit the full text button, then the italics will show up. =D still chuffed that I can do them now!! Lol!! =D =D
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<B><U>This is my fate?!?! A crazy stepmother . . . A voice talking in my head . . . Just give me the list, and sign me up as crazy now!!</B></U>
Recap . . .
"Well, you could say I've been learning a lot more about myself." I said, hesitantly.
"What do you mean? You're not talking about the usual teenage stuff, are you?" he asked.
"No, it's a lot worse than that."
I took a deep breath, and prepared myself to tell the story . . . from the very beginning.
<u>Chapter 13</B></U>
Lexies POV
"It all started a few years ago. I woke up one morning and everything seemed different. I don't know how to explain it . . . I had never felt like that before. It was like the world had opened up to me. I could hear everything . . . see everything . . . even <I>smell everything. Everything was so much clearer, like it was in high definition. For a while, the world seemed beautiful."
I could hear the wistfulness in my own voice. It <I>had been beautiful. The most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It was a pity that it was ruined so soon.
- It wasn't your fault. You couldn't have done anything to change it.
- But I could have <I>tried</I>. I didn't have to let it all control me. I should have done <I>something</I>!
- There was nothing you could have done . . .
- I should have just left it be.
- You know that's impossible. You can never just leave something be.
- But-
"What happened?" Aaron asked softly.
He was looking at me with a strange intensity in his gaze . . . like he was trying to look through me . . . maybe even into me. I wasn't sure I liked it. I had never told anyone any of this before, and I wasn't sure why I was doing so now. It was weird, but I felt as if Aaron had a <I>part</I> in this. And if he had a part to play, he needed to know the story.
"What happened is that I found out what I could do," I said. "And I couldn't control it . . . not at all." I could feel the tears brimming, but I made sure that not a single one fell. I had already let down my guard too much recently.
- You could say that . . .
- I can't believe I told him I love him. I'm not even sure if I do.
- Believe me . . . you do!
- But I shouldn't have told him so yet. I've seen him for what, a few hours? Who knows how I feel? I <I>can't believe</I> I did that! I should have waited to see. What if I don't . . .?
- He said it first. It wouldn't have been right not to say it back . . . especially considering you feel the same.
- But I might not! I don't know how I feel! It was a reflex action! I didn't plan on saying it!
- Which proves my point exactly! It was natural . . . as natural as breathing. If you didn't feel the same, you wouldn't have said it back.
- . . .
"What can you do?" he asked quietly, breaking up the inner turmoil . . . and exterior silence.
His face was blank, like he was trying to keep his feelings in check. I wondered what emotions he was trying to keep from me. I thought about it, and then decided it was better that I didn't ask.
I ignored his question. I looked down into the green-tinged water, and swirled my feet around. I looked up into the trees, light shining through the pale leaves, and continued where I had left off.
"I thought I could control it . . . and I couldn't. It was the biggest mistake of my life . . . and it led to someone's death."
I stopped there, and looked to see his reaction. He still had his poker face on, although his eyes showed his surprise. He hadn't expected that . . . it was obvious. I bet he couldn't believe he was sitting face to face with a murderer.
- No going back now . . .
- Nope . .
"It was too powerful. I didn't realise how strong it was . . . not until it was too late. I was stupid . . . and I made a mistake. A mistake I will never forgive myself for."
Aarons face was wary. He looked as though he wanted to come over and comfort me, but slowly back away at the same time. I didn't blame him really. If I were him, I would probably be thinking the exact same thing. Who knew what I was capable of! For all he knew, I could kill him right then and there and kill him.
"I was normal enough before . . . maybe a bit random at times, but I still had friends, even if it was just a few. After it . . . it happened, I guess I became distant. I avoided people, for fear of accidently doing it again. Eventually people just gave up and I became a loner. I stayed by myself, and it was better that way whilst I had no control. By the time I <I>could</I> control it, it was too late. People avoided me like the plague. I became the laughing stock . . . just because I decided to go my own way . . . alone."
That seemed to do it for him. He moved closer to me, and put his arm around me. I leaned against his shoulder, glad for the comfort. It made me feel as though it wasn't that bad. I had told him the worst thing I had ever done in my life, and he wasn't running away from me. Although, I hadn't told him all of it yet.
- He's not going to judge you.
- How do you know?
- You didn't judge him remember. He'll do the same. He owes you that much. Not to mention the fact that you love each other, of course.
- If we even do. We might not. It may have been just friendly love, intensified by our separation.
- Yea, yea. You keep on telling yourself that.
"What did you do Loo-loo?" he asked, sounding resigned.
That brought an end to my internal argument.
"I couldn't stop it. I tried to, I promise I did. It was just too late." I could hear the desperation growing in my voice. I looked down, ashamed.
"I don't understand," he said. "How did this person die?"
Aarons POV
I stared at her . . . waiting for the answer. I couldn't believe what she had told me. The sweet, innocent - if a little aggressive at times - little girl I knew was a killer. It just didn't seem to fit. How was it possible? She couldn't have killed someone . . . she <I>wouldn't</I>. It just wasn't her thing. Sure, she'd go out for all out revenge, but <I>killing</I> someone? No, it just wasn't possible. She would never go that far . . . no matter what the person had done to her.
"I don't think I'm telling this well," she said, her gaze on the floor. Her voice was calm, but I could hear the worry and tension she tried to hide from me humming in her voice like an undertone.
"What happened is that I found out I had powers . . . powers which let me control things with my mind. Call it mind control, or telekinesis, whatever. Same thing really."
I leaned away from her slightly and pulled her chin up so she would look at me. I felt sure she was pulling my leg. She couldn't be serious. <I>could</I> she? She met my gaze, and I saw no trace of a lie in her violet eyes. I couldn't believe what she was telling me. I looked at her in astonishment.
"Riiight," I said, holding on to the word, not fully understanding. "So what happened?"
She pulled her face out of my hand and returned her gaze to the floor.
"At first I was thrilled," she said. "I thought it was the most wonderful thing in the world. I mean, who <I>wouldn't</I>? Think about It . . . objects flying impossibly around you, suspended in mid air. No need to carry heavy objects. No need to walk halfway across the room to pick up something you dropped . . . just let it fly to you. It was amazing . . . at first . . ."
She lifted her head swiftly and looked at me, searching for my reaction. I kept my face blank, not sure what I was thinking just yet.
"Go on," I said, nodding at her.
"For a while it was great. I used my newfound power for the smallest things: tying my shoelaces, picking things up . . . those king of things."
I watched her in amazement. It all seemed pretty far fetched . . . but it was obviously the truth. It was too far fetched <I>not</I> to be. To think that someone could move things around with their mind was just . . . incredible. Suddenly, something dawned to me.
"Hang on . . ." I said. "The other day when the . . . when the furniture was . . . was flying around . . . That was <I>you</I>?"
She chuckled darkly. "Yup. But I lost control. It happens sometimes. I didn't mean for it to happen. I promise."
She glanced up at me again, looking for reassurance. I smiled gently at her, letting her know she was forgiven. She took a deep breath, and then continued.
"I was practicing one day," she said. She spoke quickly, as though she wanted it to be over with. "I was trying to move my cupboard . . . the largest thing I had ever tried to move. When it touched the ceiling, I was thrilled. But when I heard Shannon knocking on the door, I panicked. The cupboard started spinning uncontrollably. It flew out the window . . . and . . . and it landed . . . on him."
I could hear the deep sorrow behind her voice, and pulled her tighter to me, trying to comfort her.
"He went to hospital with a severe concussion. He died a few hours later."
Suddenly, she burst into tears. I rocked her gently, shushing her all the while. She was really beating herself up about this. She was torturing herself, and she wasn't letting it go.
"It wasn't your fault," I said, realising at the same time how true that was. She <I>wasn't</I> a killer. Not even close. "It was an accident. That's all. A terrible, terrible accident."
"<I>Yes it was my fault</I>! I should have just left it alone. I should have <I>known</I> something like that would happen!"
"No you shouldn't. You <I>couldn't</I>! And it is better that you learn about this kind of stuff. It's better to know all about these things, every time. Otherwise it can burst out when you least expect it . . . like it did in my apartment."
She remained silent.
"It <I>wasn't</I> your fault. You need to forgive yourself. You want to be strong, and you think that that forgiving yourself is the weak think to do . . . that it is better to torture yourself. But you are wrong. The weak <I>can't</I> forgive. To forgive is an attribute of the strong. Be strong Lexie. Let it go . . ."
"I can't!" She buried her head into my shoulder, and I could feel her wet tears soaking through my shirt.
"Try," I whispered, resting my head gently on top of hers where it lay on my shoulder, still hugging her close to me. Slowly, her sobs turned into sniffles, which eventually died down to heavy breathing. She glanced up at me again, and smiled softly. Even with her face tear stained, she was beautiful.
"Thank you," she said. "You've no idea how much you've helped me."
"Believe me, I do," I muttered, so quietly I was sure she didn't hear.
I was thinking about the story I had told her, and how willing she had been to listen . . . even though it had been a horrible story . . . how comforting it had been to have her there.
She looked confused for a moment, before her face cleared in understanding. I guess she had heard my statement, and had worked out what I was talking about. She wrapped her arms around me, and we just sat there . . . arms wrapped around each other in a forest clearing, our feet dangling in the cool water of the sparkling pool . . . just comforting each other.
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