Three days... Nothing happened. Like, NOTHING. Ni halos hindi siya kinibo ng asawa sa tatlong araw na magkasama sila sa iisang silid. Kung hindi ito nakababad sa cellphone, nakatutok ang mata nito sa laptop. Hindi rin niya ito kayang kausapin dahil sa sama ng loob na idinulot nito sa kanya.
They were together in the same room and all she felt was his animosity towards her. Mula nang huli silang magkasagutan, hindi na siya nito kinausap at tiningnan. The first three days of their marriage was like torture. Ilang beses ba niyang pinangarap na maging asawa ni Earl? Hindi niya mabilang. Ngunit ngayong natupad na, bakit tila hindi niya naman mahawakan ni makausap man lang? Hindi niya alam kung saan niya ilulugar ang sarili. Tila wala nang pag-asa para sa kanilang dalawa.
Somewhere at the back of her mind tells her that it's just the start of her agony. At hindi nga siya nagkamali. Simula nang tumira sila sa condo nito'y halos hindi na niya makita ang asawa. Sa kabilang silid ito natutulog. Araw-araw naghahanda siya ng almusal na hindi man lang nito tinitignan. His words every morning is "I'm leaving." Iyon lang.
Pagsapit ng gabi, naghahanda siya ng hapunan para sa kanilang dalawa. Ngunit ni minsan hindi ito kumain ng niluluto niya. Palagi siyang kumakain ng mag-isa. At natutulog sa engrandeng kama ng mag-isa. Dumarating ito ng madaling araw. Ngunit hindi na siya nagtangkang magtanong pa kung saan ito nanggaling kahit pa gabi-gabi'y hindi siya makatulog sa paghihintay. She's just his wife in papers. She doesn't have to overdo the act. Pero kahit anong gawin niya'y hindi niya mapigilang mag-alala. Hindi rin niya maiwasang masaktan. Ang tanging konsolasyon lang niya ay masaya at panatag ang loob ng kanyang Papa at maganda rin ang kinalabasan ng magazine. They looked like a real couple, happy and very much in love.
She tried to focus on her fashion business. Araw-araw dumarami ang kliyente niya. Busy siya buong araw sa trabaho at pagkatapos ay hindi niya nakakalimutang dumaan sa Papa niya para dalawin ito. She's always happy with her father around. Hindi niya gustong umuwi sa condo. Pagod siya buong araw sa trabaho ngunit pagdating sa unit, tila mabibingi siya sa sobrang kahungkagan na nadarama ng dibdib.
"How's the newly wed?" anang kabilang linya. Kasalukuyang naghahanda siya sa mga invoices ng mga newly shipped clothes galing Paris nang tumunog ang cellphone niya.
"Oh, Elaiza!" aniyang napangiti. Elaiza has been so thoughtful. Palagi siya nitong kinakamusta.
She's like the sister she never had. "I'm okay." Especially that you called. The house is so silent it's eating me out, gusto niyang idagdag.
"Great! Are you free tomorrow night? It's Friday and I though we could have some fun. I'll ask Kuya's permission."
"I'd love that!" Hindi niya naitago ang excitement sa tinig. "No need. I'll talk to him. I'm sure he'll be happy about it. He'll be working late tomorrow."
"He's still working late?!" eksaheradong tanong nito.
"Just tomorrow. He needs to do this huge presentation with the board," maagap na sagot niya dahil noong huling ganito ang tono ng dalaga'y sinugod nito si Earl sa office. And that's the last thing she'd want. Alam niyang mahal ni Earl ang kapatid nito at ayaw niyang mag-away ang dalawa dahil lamang sa kanya.
Saglit na natahimik ang kabilang linya. "I'll still talk to him. He still hasn't learned yet."
"It's okay, Elaiza-"
"No, it's not. I just know Kuya. He has this tendency to forget his priorities. And you should be the first in the list."
"We'll talk about this tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay," anitong napilitang kumalma. "I'll see you tomorrow at five! Give my hugs to Kuya."
"Sure, I'll do that."
"Goodnight! Bye." At nawala ito sa kabilang linya.
Muli, mas lalo niyang naramdaman ang pag-iisa. Napatingin siya sa wall clock. It's still nine o'clock. Marahil apat na oras pa bago ito umuwi. Bumalik siya sa pagta-trabaho. Kailangan lang niyang palipasin ang oras. She will survive this night. She definitely can. She just need to endure the pain.
Kinuha niya ang sketch pad nang hindi pa rin siya dalawin ng antok at sumandal sa higaan. Nagsimula siyang gumuhit ng bagong disenyo. Ngunit kagaya ng nagdaang mga gabi pilit pumapasok sa isip niya ang mukha ng asawa. Saulado na niya ang bawat hugis kahit pa ang kaliit-liitang detalye ng mukha nito. She used to draw his face whenever she missed him. She remembered how crazily in love she was with him in college. She would miss him each night and end up drawing his face and she felt better each time.
"This is..." Hindi ito makapaniwala matapos buklatin ang folder na naglalaman ng compilation ng drawings niya.
"Happy anniversary, babe!" aniya sabay yakap rito. Nasa university grounds sila, naka-upo sa damuhan. Konti lang ang estudyanteng naroroon dahil papagabi na. Nagsinungaling siya sa Papa niya na may tatapusing project para lang makasama ang kasintahan.
Tiningnan niya ito nang hindi ito kumibo. "What?"
"Hindi ka na ba nag-aaral?" seryosong tanong nito.
Tumawa siya sa reaksiyon nito. "Of course, I do. Ginagawa ko lang naman ito kapag nami-miss kita."
"Hmm... Gabi-gabi mo ako nami-miss?" tudyo nito nang buklatin nito ang mga pahina at makita ang petsa kung kailn iyon iginuhit. Nag-init ang magkabilang pisngi niya.
Hinila siya nito at niyakap ng mahigpit. "You don't know how happy you made me today, babe," masuyo nitong sabi. "I love you," bulong nito sabay kintal ng halik sa labi niya.
"I love you, too... more than anything else in the world," buong puso niyang sagot.
"I've got something for you, too," anito sa kanya at pansamantala siyang binitawan para kunin ang nakarolyong papel na nakasuksok sa backpack. It was a blueprint of a bungalow house. "This is for you," anito sabay hawi ng buhok niya at inipit iyon sa likod ng tenga. "Plano pa lang iyan. Pero pangako, hindi ako titigil hangga't hindi ko naibibigay sa'yo ang dream house mo."
Ibig niyang maiyak. Kaya pala palagi siya nitong kinukulit tungkol sa detalye ng bahay na gusto niya. Hinawakan niya ang magkabilang pisngi nito at pinupog ito ng halik sa buong mukha. Tumawa ito at niyakap siya ng mahigpit.
"When the right time comes, I will ask for your hand in marriage. I will make you my wife and we will live in this house," anitong itinuro ang blueprint. Nakangiting tumango siya. "I will make sure you won't draw my face each night because I will be always be right beside you. I will be the first face you see in the morning and the last you see before you sleep at night. I just need you to wait. It might take time but it will definitely come."
Ngumiti siya sa kabila ng panlalabo ng mata. God, how she loved this man. "I have no doubt it will. I promise to wait and to love you while waiting."
Ngumiti rin ito at masuyong hinalikan siya sa labi na buong puso niyang tinugon. At kagaya ng nakasanayan nilang gawin tuwing anniversary nila, they wrote each other's promises, read it aloud and sealed their promises with a kiss.
Iyon ang huling anniversary nila. She promised Earl that she will love him until her very last breath which she kept until this moment. Subalit hindi na nito kayang paniwalaan lahat ng iyon ngayon. Dahil nang malaman ng Papa niya na may kasintahan siya, nagbanta itong tatanggalin sa scholarship program si Earl. She knew how powerful her father is and she can't bear seeing his dreams being taken away from him. Kaya nakipagkalas siya dito. She told him she didn't love him anymore, she told him all about her dreams which he can't fulfill because he is poor. She broke his heart and she felt like she died inside.
Bahagyang natigilan si Veronica nang may likidong pumatak sa sketch pad niya. Umiiyak na pala siya nang hindi niya namamalayan. None of his promises were kept... maybe because the love he felt for her has been long gone too. At siya lang ang naghihintay at patuloy na umaasa. Niyakap niya ang sarili at pinilit na ipikit ang mga mata.
Pagod na dumating si Earl sa condo unit. Kagaya nang nakasanayan niyang datnan, ang malamlam na liwanag mula sa torchiere floor lamp na nasa living room ang sumalubong sa kanya at katahimikan ng bahay. Pumasok siya sa silid na tinutuluyan. Kumunot ang noo niya nang makitang maliwanag pa rin ang kabilang silid mula sa siwang ng pintong naka-konektado doon. Maingat na binuksan niya ang pinto at sinilip ang silid. At kagaya ng mga nakaraang gabi, hindi niya napigilan ang sariling pagmasdan ito. Yakap nito ang sarili. Kinuha niya ang kumot sa pag-aakalang giniginaw ito. Ngunit natigilan siya nang mapansin ang basang bahagi ng unan nito.
Was she crying again? Pinigilan niya ang sariling mapabuntong-hininga at kinumutan ang asawa. He dimmed the lights and once again stared at her. I hate you. I should not care about you. But why the hell am I bothered by your tears? Aniya sa sarili. Gusto niyang haplusin ang magandang mukha nito pero pinigilan niya ang sarili at bumalik sa tinutuluyang silid.
Kinabukasan, halos hindi maka-upo si Veronica sa dami ng costumers na dumarating. Her main goal for fashion is comfort with style. Kaya naman pabalik-balik ang mga ito dahil bukod sa unique designs at quality ng mga damit, nagbibigay rin siya ng fashion advice. She usually match the clothes with the person's personality. She's very good at it. Her assistant Kelly, too. She's grateful that they share the same passion. Natutuwa silang sa tuwing lumalabas ang mga ito na may ngiti sa mga labi. They're satisfied with each piece of clothing they bought. Kahit papaano'y nababawasan ang miserableng pakiramdam niya.
Dumating si Elaiza five minutes before five o'clock. Nang mga sandaling iyon ay ready na silang magsara ng boutique niya. They watched movie. They ate sushi and went clubbing afterwards. Pakiramdam ni Veronica'y nawawala ang stress niya sa saya. It has been so long that she really enjoyed being with someone. She's so grateful for Elaiza. Simula noong araw na nagkakilala sila'y maganda ang pakikitungo nito sa kanya. She's always sweet and cheerful kaya gusto niya itong kasama.
She wondered why she hadn't met her before. Ngunit ayaw niyang magtanong. Hindi na niya gustong ungkatin pa ang nakaraan. At batid niyang iyon ang gusto ni Earl. For sure, they wouldn't be so thrilled that she ditched Earl before.
They danced and laughed. Hindi niya halos namalayan ang oras kung hindi pa siya inuntag ni Elaiza. It's past twelve. Baka daw namuti na ang mata ni Earl sa kahihintay sa kanya. If she only knew.
Hinatid niya ito sa malaking bahay ng mga San Diego. Ayaw sana nito ngunit nagpumilit siya. Pagkarating ay bumaba siya nang makitang gising pa ang Daddy Eleazar. They had tea at the patio and it soothed her mood. Pagkuwa'y iniwan sila nito at nagpasya silang maglibot sa garden para makapag-usap.
"I'm so happy you end up together, Veronica. Kuya has been a mess. Since I met him, he's been a mess. I'm just so glad that God, destiny or whatever powerful force that is, bound you together. Alam kong simula na ito ng pag-ngiti ni Kuya. I can't believe he is smiling again! Remember during the wedding? That was the first time in a long time that I did see him smile!"
Kumunot ang noo niya.
"When you said, 'Of course! I do! I do!'" with feelings na sabi nito.
Natawa siya. Pagkuwa'y napangiti. Yes, she remembered. So it was really a smile.
"It's been so long I've been praying for miracle. And then, you came! I'm just so happy. Sana lang hindi ka magsawang intindihin siya. He's been through a lot really. Kaya ang sungit minsan."
"Where's your mom? If I may ask. Earl doesn't talk much."
Natigilan ito ng kaunti bago nagsalita.
"My mom is in France. She remarried a French guy. And Kuya's mom is in Australia."
Kumunot ulit ang noo niya.
Ngumiti ito. "I guess Kuya didn't tell you, huh?" anitong napa-iling. "Well, he's a little sensitive about it. I know in time he will share this to you but for now I'll give you a preview. I didn't really know what happened way back then. Ang naaalala ko lang, I was fifteen when I first met Kuya. He was twenty-two then. Ni hindi ko alam na may kapatid ako. And all people are saying na querida ang mama ko. Noon ko lang nalaman na may unang pamilya pala si Dad. Tita Sandra, Kuya's mom, suddenly left Dad without a trace. Daddy has been looking for them for twenty-two years. Imagine? Twenty-two years?"
That explains the surname... ani Veronica sa isip.
"After six years of futile search, Dad met my mom and well, fell in love and decided to live in California. And there was me after a year... Umuuwi kami dito once a year para magbakasyon. And it was on the fifteenth vacation that Dad found Earl. He was badly injured after that car accident. Tita Sandra finally showed up, asking financial assistance so Kuya can live. I've never seen Dad so happy, so angry and so worried at the same time..."
Hindi napigilan ni Veronica ang sariling mapasinghap. She could feel her own tears choking her. "Car accident?"
"He had a bitch of a girlfriend who left him. He was so drunk that he cared for nothing, and that was when he was hit by a car," anito na ikinalunok niya. Inside, she was screaming in pain. Kung alam lang niya, hindi sana siya sumama sa Papa niya sa America.
Napabuntong-hininga ito. "So you see, it was good that we found Kuya. But it was also the start of arguments between mom and dad. And... they broke up." Ngumiti ito ng mapait. Hinawakan niya ang kamay nito.
"You don't have to go on, Elaiza," nakaka-unawa niyang sabi.
Pero umiling ito. "I'm okay. Masaya na naman silang dalawa kaya okay lang sa akin. I decided to be with Dad nang maghiwalay sila. Pero bumibisita din ako sa mom ko. Part of the reason I stayed is because of Kuya. I really wanted to have an older brother. He was so sad and miserable. He liked me though. He never hated me. Pero pakiramdam ko, galit siya sa mundo."
Hindi makapaniwalang napatitig si Veronica kay Elaiza. Parang pinipiga ang puso niya sa narinig. Where was she during those times Earl needed her most?
"Are you okay?"
"Y-Yeah." aniyang pumipiyok ang boses. "I just..." tila may bumabara sa lalamunan niya't humapdi ang mga mata. "I just wished I was there," halos bulong na sabi niya. God, hindi niya alam ang sakit na pinagdaanan ni Earl.
"Oh, Veronica," ani Elaiza at niyakap siya. "I wish you could have been there, too. It was awful for Kuya. He thought he was abandoned. He hated Dad. But he loved him too. He hated what his mom has done but he loves her so much too. And he keeps on asking why every person he loves breaks his heart. What do I know? I was just fifteen!"
Pigil-pigil ni Veronica ang sariling mapahikbi. Mabilis niyang pinahid ang luha nang kumalas sila sa yakap ng isa't isa.
"I'll take care of him, Elaiza. I won't break his heart." again...
Ngumiti ito. "Thank you Veronica. Kuya is so lucky to have you. I guess we'll have to talk some other time. Baka kanina pa naghihintay sa'yo ang Kuya."
"Yeah. Just call me anytime. I definitely enjoyed this evening Elaiza, we'll do this again."
"Yeah! Me too." Hinatid siya nito hanggang sa gate. "Wait, I forgot to ask you something. Can I ask you and Kuya a favor?"
"Anything. Wish anything," aniyang ngumiti. "Ako ang bahala sa Kuya mo."
"I was thinking if I can stay with you for two days. Dad wants me to take care some of the business. And I'm running the hotel starting next week!" excited na sabi nito.
"Really?" aniyang nasorpresa. Nahawa siya sa excitement nito. Pero natigilan siya. What did she say? She wants to stay with them? Like, live with them for two days? Naalarma siya ng lihim nang maalala ang set-up nila sa bahay.
"Yes, I'm so excited about it! At alam ko matutuwa ang Kuya. Kaya kung hindi nakaka-istorbo, can I live with you? Under renovation kasi yung condo ko. And your place is much closer to my work than this house."
Ngumiti siya. Hindi nagpahalata ng pagka-alarma. "I'll talk to Earl about this. But, consider it a yes."
"Thank you!!!" tili nito.
Natawa siya. Maybe it's not a bad idea after all. Magiging masaya ang bahay kapag kasama nila si Elaiza. And she wants to know more... A lot more... Kung ano ang naging buhay ni Earl nang pinili niyang iwanan ito. Pero kailangan ng total make-over ang unit nila. It sure does look elegant but it still looks like a bachelor's pad.
"I'll leave now," paalam niya sabay beso kay Elaiza. "Good night!"
Paglabas niya ng gate ay ganoon na lang ang pagsikdo ng dibdib nang makitang nakaparada ang sasakyan ng asawa. Prente itong nakasandal sa hood ng kotse nito, madilim ang mukha. Gusto niya itong sugurin ng yakap at humingi ng tawad sa panahong wala siya nang kailangan siya nito.
"Get in the car," galit utos nito.
"B-But-" aniyang nilingon ang sasakyan.
"You're not driving drunk. Now get in the car before I lose my patience!"
Talagang galit ito. "I'm not drunk," aniya.
Nagulat siya nang inilapit nito ang mukha sa mukha niya at inamoy ang bibig.
"You have very low alcohol tolerance, Veronica. You're drunk."
Hindi na siya nagsalita dahil ayaw na niyang madagdagan ang galit nito. There was a strong urge to hug him. Alam niyang hindi niyon kayang pawiin ang sakit na naramdaman nito noon pero iyon lang kaya niyang gawin.
"What do you think you're doing? Kung hindi pa tumawag ang Daddy, hindi ko malalaman na lumabas pala kayo ni Elaiza!" singhal nito. "I waited for hours. I called you but you're not picking up your damn phone. Gawain ba ng babaing may-asawa ang umuwi ng lagpas hating-gabi?
"I-I never had the chance to tell you," amin niya. Kung noon ay nanginginig siya sa galit nito ngayo'y hindi na. She must've hurt him so much that he hated her. And it was all her fault.
"You could've sent me a text or email or called me. Or you could've left a post it on the refrigerator. Any means! You could've-"
"I'm sorry..." aniya. Biglang nanubig ang mga mata niya. Tinawid niya ang espasyo sa pagitan nila at niyakap ito. "I'm really, really sorry," pigil hikbing sambit niya.