~~Chapter 22: Uncertain~~
Decisions...decisions.
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Isabel.
It was probably nine in the morning and I barley went to sleep at four. I was exhausted. Will was laying on top of me with his head buried between my chest. He was still sleeping. I smiled as I heard his small, quiet snores. Last night was definitely the most memorable night I've ever had.
But I still can't seem to shake off the idea about what he did. No matter how much we tried last night to forget, nothing was working. I needed him, but then part of me said I didn't. Part of me was convincing the other half of me that he isn't worth all of this. My heart still aches from what he had did.
I don't really think it's possible for me to ever forget. I honestly don't know what to do now. I still love him, that's for sure, but then a quarter of me doesn't. I don't know if it's just that one shattered part in my heart saying that, but I feel like it's right. Should I really be forgiving him so soon?
I felt hands rubbing the small of my back and I shivered a little. He was awake. I felt small kisses being planted above my chest. I shivered again, and heard his cute little laugh. I looked down at him to see him still kissing my body.
"Well good morning sleeping beauty," I said with a small laugh as a smile started to spread across my face, but it felt like it was forced.
"Good morning...how long have you been up?" He asked and continued kissing down until he reached my stomach.
"Mm...not that long," I said while tugging on his shoulders so his face could meet mine.
He didn't say anything he just stared down at me. I held the side of his face and planted small butterfly kisses along his perfectly shaped jawline. He let out a soft moan as I kissed the corner of his lips.
"I love you so much Isabel," he whispered as I fell back onto the bed.
"I know you do, and I...I...um...love...you," I didn't realize that a small tear started to roll down my cheek, and that I stuttered.
"Baby, why are you crying?" He asked while wiping away my stray tear.
"Am I doing the right thing?" I asked and he looked at me confused, "Am I doing the right thing on forgiving you?"
He sighed and rolled off of me, "So are you regretting this now?" He asked and I shook my head.
"No...I'm not regretting anything, I'm just...never mind," I shivered a little and rolled over so I would be on top of him.
"You're just thinking if we could actually be the same after this huh?" He asked and I nodded while burying my head into the crook of his neck.
"I just can't seem to get rid of this pain that's pounding inside of my heart," I cried and felt tears start to stream down my face.
"I know...and I can't get it out of my head either...I'm really sorry Isabel...I don't know how I'll be able to make it up to you," he whispered while wrapping his arms around me.
"I just want to forget. Please make me forget Will...I don't want to feel like this anymore," I cried while lifting my head up so I would be looking into his eyes.
I moved my face closer to his and brushed my lips against his, "Please Will...I just want to forget."
"We already tried to forget...I don't know what else we can do," he whispered while cupping my face in his hands.
"Just let me have you...that's all I want. I need you Will," I whispered and pressed my lips firmly against his.
"Isabel...I can't," he murmured between kisses, but I didn't budge...I just kept kissing him until he gave in.
We rolled over so that he was on top and repeated what we had done the night before.
•Almost Lover Kiingtong FF•
It was now twelve in the afternoon, and I was, again, wrapped in Will's arms. He did make me forget. All of what we had did seemed to have fixed us, but not fully. The pain has gotten smaller now, and I'm glad.
I'm glad that he was able to make me somewhat forget. I didn't want him to leave my life, because then it would just turn completely upside down. Without him, I'm just a mess. Apparently this is how we could forget. And that's all I want.
I want to forget that this whole mess that had exploded my life. We both needed to forget. I could feel more of the pain start to drift away from my now healed heart. With him I've experienced love. I can't ever imagine my life without him.
Although his actions may have broken me, I managed to get pieced back together again. From here on out its just me and him. We'll try to forget. We both will...at some point in time. I don't know how long that could take, but at least I have him. That's all that matters.
I looked up at Will who was staring up at the ceiling...his breath was still ragged. He had his eyes closed so I turned back down to look out the window. It was quiet, so I'm guessing that Graser and Dfield went out for the day.
I lightly started to trace circles along Will's side. He shivered a little which made me laugh. I turned my attention back up to him, and smiled. He was looking down at me.
"Thank you," I whispered and moved my body up so I would be face to face with him.
"For what?" He said with a small smile.
"For this...for everything," I said with a smile and nestled my nose against his.
"I would do anything for you Isabel," he said and wrapped his arms around me again.
"And I would too...until our hearts stop beating," I said and gently kissed his nose before moving back down to lay my head against his chest.
"I love you Isabel...you know that right?" He asked and I simply nodded.
"And I love you Will...so much, but you already know that," I said as a smile appeared on my face.
"Hey can I ask you something?" He asked before silence could fill the room.
"Anything," I whispered and slowly closed my eyes.
"Do you ever think about what our lives would be like in the future?" He said and I nodded.
"All the time, and now I'm thinking of it again," I said with a smile that he couldn't see.
"I could imagine us living in L.A. together. We would be married, with two kids...maybe one on the way," he said and I could tell he was smiling as he gently rubbed the sides of my stomach.
"Well I think that sounds perfect," I whispered and slightly kissed his chest.
"Everything's perfect when it involves you," he said while putting his hand under my chin to make me look at him.
"As well as with you," I said and reached for his lips.
"You and me?" He asked and I nodded.
"Until the end," I finished and we both smiled and stared into each other's eyes.
This is definitely love.
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