Chapter 14: Jolie's Wakes Up
Jolie tries to face the past
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I had to get control of myself, Ian was going crazy with worry. I felt so guilty doing this to him; yet somehow, I can't get it out of my head. He is the only one that knows of my nightmares. He has never asked me to tell him; however, I knew it drove him crazy not knowing. I think he never asked because part of him knows, at least what started the nightmares. He knows what I lost never to get it back. He just doesn't know the details, the who, where, when, how or why. Why? That was the question, I didn't even know. I know the why, I haven't told him. Once I say it outloud, I will have to acknowledge it did happen. I was shaken out of my thoughts, I looked up and sighed loudly. Ian chuckled,
"Jol, I swear you daydream more than anybody in this world."
I huff and cross my arms,
"Whatever dude!"
I couldn't stay mad, so we both laughed at my craziness. His face expression changed and I knew I was about to get a lecture.
"Jols, I am serious this has to stop. I have done my best not to ask you anything. But, it's time to fess up. No, that puppy dog face will not work on me this time. You have been here over two weeks. I understand you dont want to talk about the nightmares; but Jolie, they are a lot worse. When you started getting them they were awful; they are back sometimes even stronger than I have ever seen. I can't let you try to bury this again, you have to finally deal with it. Ahh shit, no tears Jol!"
He ran over taking me in his arms mumbling about how someone as strong as me should never cry. He was right, I know. About everything, even the crying; honestly, I was sick of crying. At the very moment I realized that what happened has controlled my life for to long. I am stronger than this. Why have I let them turn my life into this. They walk around this town like nothing happened. She no longer gives me the evil eye. I guess she knows by now there's nothing I can do about it or that I just won't ever tell anyone or do anything to cause them trouble. How did I let them do this to me. Oh God, it's like someone just threw water in my face and cleared my muddled brain. This is crazy, I will not let them had any control over me ever again. I look over at Ian, he is smiling like a huge gigantic smile on his face. I guess he sees it on my face. I jump up,
"I got to go running!"
Frowning at me now, Jolie I thought I saw that old spark in you. Don't do this, I know you just realized you have to tell me. He almost growled at me, I laughed,
"No, you don't understand. I'm not running or hiding from it anymore. I just need to have a good run, clear my head completely. I will tell you everything, I promise. "
I hugged him tight than went to get my runners. He was still a little mad that I'm not spilling right now. I think he is worried that after I run, I'll change my mind. I go over and hug him again,
"Just give me this Ian, please. I know you have waited years for this, but I have to do this my way. If you force it, I won't be able to tell you all of it. Let me have a good workout. Go see Anna Grace, she misses you. When we both get back we will have dinner and afterwards I will tell my story to you. Don't look at me like that. Anna Grace hasn't seen you in almost two weeks you know it will take most of the day to calm her down so she doesn't break your balls for ignoring her."
He grimaced, he knew as well as I that Anna Grace was fire mad at him. They have been together forever, she still didn't like it when he dropped everything to spend time with me. I think he must have mentioned something to her, cause she never seemed mad at me about it. But, she sure did let him have it. She was one of the best ball busters I've ever came across.
"OK yeah your right, I have some groveling to do. And don't say it, I know you have been telling me to go see her for over a week."
I chuckle at him, he gives me a hug and mumbles a I love you in my hair then runs out the door. I wonder when he is finally just going marry her. It's obvious they belong together. That made me think of Greyson. Ugh, I might be willing to deal with this mess; but hell no, I will not go digging into my head about him! Grabbing a bottle of water I run out the door. Glad it's a school day so I didn't have to worry about seeing those eyes of his.
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next chapter all is reveiled.
It won't be long before I update it:)
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Sorry, I haven't edited it but hopefully it's not to bad.
SK