Even though you ain't mine
I promise the way we fight
Make me honestly feel like we just in love
******
I stare at the ceiling above as I lie on the bed. My hand placed on my stomach while the other was under my head. I woke up an hour ago. I should be eating breakfast now but it has been one hour and my eyes still hasn't shifted away from this ceiling. There were too many things that were running on my mind. Soarin. My friends. Christmas vacation. Soccer. Rarity's party.
Soarin was the first thing that got into my mind ever since I woke up. I was starting to wonder what feeling I have towards him. Or what feelings he has towards me. I don't know if I want to keep acting that this thing happening between us, whatever it is, is normal. I haven't figured out yet why I kissed him the other day. I haven't been myself lately, I don't know if it's me just denying my own feelings, or is it just Soarin messing me up.
It's now Saturday. Rarity wants me to be at her house in before 7 P.M. So I have the entire day to myself again. Heaving a sigh, I lift myself up from the bed to get out of my room and eat breakfast. I went downstairs and went to the kitchen, grabbing some milk, eggs, bread, sugar, and cinnamon to make french toast for my breakfast. After making the french toast, I place butter on top, pouring the maple syrup over the toast and ate my breakfast quickly. Ah, that shit was good.
Now let me get back to brooding.
I lazily drag myself to the shower, and after taking a quick bath, I let myself fall on the bed. I heave a sigh as I take my phone sitting beside the lamp table. I take a quick scan of my room, realizing that I haven't placed all the socks on the sock drawer yet, also my electric guitar is just sitting on the side of the room, if I ever walk in at night without the lights on I would definitely step on it. I drop my phone back on the lamp table, forcing myself to stand up.
I collect all my socks into one pile, then grabbing all my medals that are hanging everywhere. I also take the trophy that was sitting on the end of the bed. I have too many of these. The medals were from winning the basketball, soccer, football, and baseball, and anything-else tournaments. This trophy, well I don't remember this but it definitely was when I was in Las Pegasus.
I also grab the guitar, and put it back on the guitar stand beside the sock drawer. I should've cleaned my room last week. I also grab the music sheets lying on the floor and putting it back in my binder with the other music sheets. After cleaning my room, I glance at the clock in front of me. 10 A.M. I suddenly feel disgusted from cleaning for 2 hours, so I decided to take another shower.
After taking another shower, I hear a knock on the door. I groan, grabbing the bathrobe and immediately slipping it on me. I went downstairs, unlocking door and making a small peek at the person who knocked. Soarin was standing outside wearing a grey tracksuit, panting. I roll my eyes, swinging the door wide open and he looks up at me. "Where did you come from?"
He shrugs as he walks in, "Nowhere. I just ran a mile today."
I shut the door behind me, "Well? What are you doing here?"
"I was going to tell you something."
"Well, my mom already gave you the house keys, I'm still annoyed about that, but couldn't you just let yourself in because I was taking a shower?"
"What? And I'll see you naked? I'm a man of respect," he says as he smirks.
I roll my eyes, smiling, "Whatever, so what are you going to tell me?"
"We haven't done the video yet."
"Oh," I purse my lips, "right, the video."
He raises a brow, "So when do we do it?"
"Uhhh, tonight? Wait, no, Rarity's invited us to the party." I say, followed by a groan.
Soarin groans, slouching on the couch, "I totally forgot about that," then he glances at me, grinning, "You're going, right!?"
I look at him confusedly, "Uhh, yeah, duh, she'll be mad at us if we don't attend her party."
He claps both of his hands before standing up, "Good, I can throw you into the pool again." he says, throwing a smirk and going to the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water. I suddenly remember the night where I unconsciously kissed him, I shake my head, looking down on the floor, trying to forget that moment. He notices me staring down, "Are you alright, Rainbow?" Goddamit. That's the exact thing he asked me that night. I grit my teeth, clenching my hands as I sigh heavily. I suddenly look up as Soarin places his hands on my shoulders and shakes me, "Dash, are you okay?" he asks sternly.
I stare at his eyes for a moment before shaking my head again, "Y-yeah, I'm fine," a nervous smile stretching on my lips, "Why'd you ask?"
He narrows his eyes, "Well, you were staring at the ground and not talking."
I laugh nervously, "Oh, I probably just- uhm, never mind, it was normal for me." I say, waving both of my hands at him dismissively.
He sighs, "You're making me worried, was it something I said about throwing you into the pool?"
Yes. "N-no, why would you think about that, I don't care about being thrown in the pool at all."
He grins, "Alright, if you say so, anyways, I'm going home now, going to take a shower and whatever." I stare at him going out the door, my thoughts were screaming again to just confront him about it and talk to him. Was it really just nothing to him!?
"So it really was nothing to you." I blurt out, still staring at the floor. He turns around and closes the door that he just opened seconds ago, "What?"
Realizing what I just said, my eyes widen. Did I just said that out loud!? "Nothing."
"Dash, I heard what you exactly said, what do you mean?"
I grit my teeth and glare at him, "I said it was nothing."
"Dash. What do you mean?" He asks, glowering.
I clench my hands into fists again, "You know damn well what I mean."
He glares back, "I don't understand what you're trying to say."
"I said if the kiss was really nothing to you."
He narrows his eyes, "That's what you told me to do."
"What, and you did the same thing the next day, I never said anything about it."
"Why are you suddenly so caught up about it I thought you didn't want me to care about it anymore?" He says, exhaling sharply.
"I am not caught up about it I just wanna know how you have the urge to kiss me again. Which part of 'back to normal' do you not understand." I snap, raising my voice a bit.
He grits his teeth, "I needed to get Trixy away, since you already did the same thing to me."
"Oh, so you used me!?"
"I-"
I cut him off, holding myself to blowup, "Goddamit, why am I so fucking stupid." I chuckle bitterly, "Why did I even let a boy kiss me when I know he doesn't even give a single fuck about anyone's feelings."
His glare hardens, "Really? That's what you think of me?"
"Yeah, isn't it true-"
"That's rich coming from a girl who always does things out of impulse but never actually cares about how it would affect someone else."
"As if it matters to you, you don't care as long as the person is disposable to you!"
"Do you seriously think it doesn't!? I wasn't the person who said to forget about it."
"It was an accident on the other night-"
He cuts me off, "Of course it was, everything's an accident if you do it, you never think about anything, but have you ever thought about trying to at least be responsible for anything you did?"
I stare at him coldly, my mind suddenly went blank. We were both silent for a minute.
He shakes his head and chuckles coldly, "Just as I thought." He turns his back and swings the door open. I glance at him, my glare softens, "Soarin, wait-"
He whips his head before going out the door, "Save it, Dash," he says callously, and shuts the door right in front of me. I stare at the door for a few seconds before dropping on my knees, tears brimming my eyes, and I grit my teeth as I let the tears pour out. My breath was hitching as I sob uncontrollably. I felt my throat wrenching as I choke on my sobs.
I force myself to stand up as I wipe my tears flowing continuously, dragging myself towards the couches and letting myself drop on the couch. "Stupid, stupid, stupid, Rainbow Dash." I laugh bitterly, and breaking down into sobs again, "If only you thought about things carefully before actually doing anything."