“Robby..and Darcy...I can explain” Following that sentence there was a huge silence, in which my heart dropped and nervous butterflies grew in my stomach. I was standing here in front of my dad, someone I saw everyday I worked here and someone who I had confided in and denied being my dad multiple times. Part of me was happy I found him, but the other part was anxious and worried. What if his answer wasn’t good enough for me to accept or what if his answer simply was that he didn’t want me in his life. Part of me was anxious because I knew that we found him and I’d have to tell my mom, someone who also went to great lengths to make sure that my father was never found. I knew there was some mystery behind my dad’s disappearance but I never knew that it layered this deep and that I’d actually find him. For a while it was a wild goose chase and maybe I liked it that way. I liked looking for him, and learning stuff about him and maybe I was okay with never getting any closer to finding him ‘cause deep down I didn’t want to. He had abandoned my family and I, and no matter how you explain that, there is not really a good excuse in the world.
I started to think about what Noah had told me about his dad and how he obsessed over not being able to find Harry, and how that affected Shawna’s and his relationship as well as the upbringing of Gabriella and Noah. My dad was being selfish when he left, he didn’t realize how many people loved him. The boys had grown up into men but they still missed their best mate. Especially Louis, I am pretty sure that’s why he wasn’t so keen to help us find him. He’s hurt, and who can blame him. When someone leaves without saying goodbye, it’s like saying they never loved you, and maybe that’s the truth. Maybe I meant nothing to my dad.
“I think you two should sit down” my dad finally managed to get words out of his mouth while he pushed his hair back out of his face. He looked flabbergasted. I was glad we caught him off guard so he didn’t have time to prepare more lies, and with Robby on my side who can help see through his lies. Robby and I both looked at each other speechless and shocked as well and took a seat. “Where would you like me to begin?” He asked. He spoke slowly and this time his posh British accent shone through his old rugged one.
“Why’d you leave mom?” I asked quietly and then realised I just didn’t want to know that. “How could you leave mom? How could you leave Robby and I? And how could you leave your best friends like we all meant nothing to you?” I asked with my lip trembling and tears swimming down my cheeks. Robby moved closer to me, patting my back in comfort. My dad looked speechless and in pain, as he bit his lip.
“First off I want you to know that I’ve tried making contact over the years, I wrote letter to you kids but you guys never responded, and I know that’s no excuse but a man can only try so many times” he explained. I looked to Robby confused because I had never gotten any letters from our dad. Mom must have been hiding them from us. I didn’t just need answers from my dad but I needed answers from my mom too. “And second to why I left...Did your mother ever tell you much about our relationship?” he looked from my eyes to Robby’s
“No, we never talked about you” I answered him.
“When we were little and would ask what happened mom would act like she didn’t hear me, and then she’d go and cry in her room, thinking we couldn’t hear her” Robby added to my answer.
“Well we had quite a few bumps in the road” a small smile grew upon his face as he thought back to the memories in his head. “ Management being one of them, surely you must know about how controlling management is with celebrities these days” My dad looked to us again and once we nodded he looked back down to his twiddling thumbs. “When management found out I had you Robby, they were furious but I loved you and your mother with all my heart, still do. They wanted me to choose the band or you and your mom, I told them they would be losing one of the new pop sensations then, and well they agreed for me to stay. After though I went behind their back and proposed to your mother on stage and after that they confronted me. I simply explained we were expanding the family and wanted to be married this time.” My dad took a breathe. “This time they were serious when they gave me the two options, leave the band and disappear with my family, or leave my family and act as if it never happened while I toured with my band” Harry stopped twiddling his thumbs and moved them up to rub his eyes. I could tell he was trying to fight the tears. “ The boys were my best friends, they were family too but you two and your mom were my actual family. How does one choose that? And even if I did choose you, how is it fair to you guys that you have to live under the radar and that your mom couldn’t see any of her best friends anymore either. So I made my own option..I disappeared on my own. I didn’t tell a soul”
That was it. That was the reason why I grew up without my dad, he didn’t hate me, he wasn’t a secret agent, he wasn’t murdered, It was his management. He had tried making contact with us over the years but my mom must have been so hurt by the fact that the love of her life left her at the altar that when he did try and make contact with her she was probably so hurt and mad that she turned him down and kept us from him. My mind put it together peice by peice , trying to make sense of everything and then it clicked. My mom probably created my fake dad to protect us from finding our real dad. Not that he would hurt us physically but she never wanted us to feel the emotional trauma that she went through, but maybe if she took the time to listen then she wouldn’t have been so furious.
“Why didn’t you tell my mom anything, not even a goodbye?” I asked.
“I did” Harry explained. “ Your mom was the love of my life, so i wrote her a note. It didn’t say much but it just let her know, I’d always love her” my dad stated. “I’m sorry though, I truly am”
“Do you know what you put everybody through?” I asked him, feeling a bit hurt for everyone that knew him. He may have left me but at least I didn’t know him before hand.
“I know, that’s why I am here. I was living here to keep an eye on Niall, and to have a few drinks with him when Derby was playing. I wanted so badly to tell him it was me but I had to wait till the timing was perfect, and then.. well you came and I got nervous. I didn’t want you hating me, it was hard enough watching all my friends hate me or fall apart but I couldn’t take it from my daughter.” he stuttered as tears fell down his face.
“I could never hate you” I told him and put my hand over top of his for comfort.”I should have hated you from the day I was born but instead I was determined to find you. I explained.” I love you and so does Robby and so do all your old band mates who are waiting at home to meet you. We all love you” my eyes began to moisten again. “Please just come back to Niall’s and see everybody, if you want to disappear again after go ahead but at least let them know you’re okay. Let their minds rest, it’s been fourteen years, they need to finally stop worrying.”
“Okay, but I won’t disappear again” he said wiping his face as he stood up and followed us out to the truck. Robby drove and I sat in the middle between him and my dad. We all listened to the radio as we drove home. I turned down the radio and looked at my dad.
“What do you think the media will say when they find out your alive, or Louis. What do you think mom will think about us finding you?” I asked one question after the other. I looked to Robby after asking the last one, we both knew mom would be shocked and most possibly pissed off at us. So unless he planned on telling her, I didn’t. If our dad wanted to be in our lives then I didn’t see a reason to tell her and risk everything. After all she’ll find out sooner or later, why ruin anything?
“ I don’t know” he replied looking out the window. “To be honest I am a bit nervous to see the boys, actually talk to them as myself.” My dad stated and then started chuckling. “Want to know a secret?”
“Sure” I shrugged.
“I use to call their houses and pretend to be a telemarketer, just so I knew they were okay. I did you to Sarah to..I mean your mom. I think part of me wanted them to recognize my phony accents and tell me to come home, that’s its okay. I stopped after a while though because I realized they all moved on and I needed to as well” my dad’s voice changed from cheerful o depressed in the matter of seconds.
“Don’t be too nervous, they are all excited to meet you. Everyone is there but Louis and he is coming as soon as he can” I explained. “They all wanted to find you, just as much as us if not more” I smiled weakly trying to lighten the mood.
“You’re exactly like your mother when she was younger, except you have my eyes and my music talent” Harry smiled.
“H-how do you know about my passion for music?” I asked confused.
“I’ve kept my tabs on everyone, you and Robby the most. I have all your newspaper clippings of your music awards or concerts and Robby’s sports. I even have the article about that graffiti tagger, cause I knew it was you Robby” My dad raised an eyebrow and let out a laugh. “You and Zayn have your expressive art incommon”
“What did you letters say?” I asked as my mind kept going back thinking to what he said about trying to keep in touch.
“They let you know I cared, that I remembered your birthdays and that I was sorry I couldn’t be there” he said. “They wouldn’t have changed much, I didn’t leave a return address” he shrugged. “ Maybe your mom thought they were from a fan and it was some cruel joke”
“Yea maybe...” I stated, I didn’t agree but my dad was nervous enough. I just thanked the lord that my mom was off with her orchestra at the moment so she couldn’t scare out dad away again. I wanted him to be able to connect with the boys, and with us again and her being here could jeopardize that. We pulled into the laneway, and the truck suddenly became full of tension. it was like the air was toxic because we were all holding our breath and anxious to see how everything would go. Robby finally turned off the truck and spoke.
“Here goes nothing”
A/N: Sorry for not updating on time but here is the next chapter. Also if you haven't read Isn't She Lovely, and are readinf this I am sure you are following along just fine but if you've been thinking about reading it, this would be a good time to start reading this before the next chapter. Just so you can get a feel of all the friendships ect. Thank you all for reading, remember to comment, vote and fan!