Chapter 24
I pretended I wasn't eavesdropping, but I doubted I fooled anyone. I was certain Vance knew I was in his head since he hadn't done anything to raise his privacy barriers to keep me out.
He'd been repairing a rotted wall on the corner of the pump house when Hex showed up. I watched them walk around the building together as I continued to polish some of Earl's ritual silver on the back porch.
For some reason, I found it difficult to keep the smile from creeping across my face when I heard companionable laughter rise up from the two. My heart pounded in my chest, and I realized I was happy—really happy.
Earlier, when Vance noticed Hex by the tree, he stopped what he was doing and walked over. I held my breath in anticipation of the confrontation.
"Hello, Hex. Good to see you here," he said, and I don't know who he shocked more, me or Hex. "I've wanted to talk to you about some things."
Hex studied him suspiciously. "Then speak," he finally grunted.
"I wanted to tell you thanks for all you've done to take care of Portia. I may be a little slow to catch on with everything that's gone on lately, but it suddenly occurred to me she wouldn't even be a part of my life right now if you hadn't stepped in to protect her. I'm truly grateful for that."
Hex stared back at Vance unspeaking, his gaze narrowing slightly.
Vance continued when he didn't say anything. "This has been a tough time for me. I know you've seen me out here working a lot. I've been trying to overcome some of these demon tendencies—namely the bloodlust. I'm tired of hurting Portia all the time. I love her, and she shouldn't have to be going through all of this." He cast a glance over to where I was polishing on the porch, and I hurriedly looked back at my task, rubbing the silver chalice I was holding furiously.
Laughter sounded in my head before he spoke again. "Portia and I had a long talk, and she reminded me to look for the things I really want in my life and what is truly important. The fact of the matter is I never wanted to be a demon. It's been something I've tried to avoid my whole life. Yes, I've been swayed by the power and the bloodlust since then. I allowed myself to get distracted from my true desires and instead became wrapped up in seeking revenge against my father."
Turning, Vance walked away from Hex, picking up his hammer and nails, but he kept talking so Hex followed dutifully after him.
"I know you think I'm greedy for wanting to keep her in my life, and you're right. But what you don't understand, Hex, is that I love her. I love her more than anything. I've always loved her, practically from the first moment I saw her. Had I any idea what I would put her through in that moment, I'd like to think I would've walked away and spared her the horror of knowing me."
My hands trembled at his words, and I had to stop what I was doing. Just the thought of never knowing him made me queasy, sick. I gripped the chalice so hard my knuckles turned white.
"That's not what happened, though. So now I'm left trying to do my best to make amends to her for what I've drawn her and her family into. When Portia reminded me to reevaluate the things in my life, I realized I needed to make a choice. I could choose to be the man she fell in love with, or the demon that's made her life miserable. It was a no contest decision, easily made. But no matter how easily decided, executing that is much more difficult.
"I addressed the bloodlust issue first, cutting myself off from it completely. That's why you've found me out here so many times, working hard to stay occupied." Vance grabbed a board and measured it against the wall were the rotted damaged area was, marking it with a pencil before going over to a saw horse he had set up nearby.
"How's that working out for you?" Hex finally spoke up.
Vance glanced at him and shrugged. "I'd say it's probably one of the more excruciating things I've gone through in my life." He began sawing vigorously on the board, and I couldn't help but admire the way the strong muscles in his arms flexed.
Watching, Hex waited until he was finished. "It'll kill you, you know—if you abstain completely."
Vance nodded. "Yes, I know. Portia convinced me to start looking at it like a medical condition, so we are going to try regular doses. One pint a week for now, until we see how that goes."
"So she fed you already then? You look better than you have in a while," Hex stated.
Vance sighed. "Yes, she did."
"Good," Hex replied, and Vance jerked his head up to look at him, obviously surprised at the approval.
"Well, that's something I never expected to hear out of your mouth."
"You've told me your story. Are you open to hearing mine?" Hex asked.
Vance chuckled. "You'd tell me anyway, even if I said no."
"I've never been one to keep my opinions to myself."
"That has always been plainly obvious. Go on. Tell me your story."
"I've loved Portia almost from the first moment I met her too. While my love for her differs from the kind the two of you share, it's still true. That night, when I found her in the swamp, I slipped inside her head for a moment to feel her. I didn't want to risk bringing someone evil to my hidden location. What I felt in that moment was a pure soul who was completely broken hearted and terrified."
Vance grimaced, and I saw him clench his fists for a moment before he released them and continued on with his task.
"When Portia woke up she told me what happened, from beginning to end. I watched that little girl sob her lights out over you."
I could feel Vance's heart constricting in pain, but he didn't interrupt, continuing to work silently as he listened to Hex.
"My mission became teaching her how to protect herself. I knew she hoped to rescue you somehow, but honestly I had already written you off as a lost cause. The few experiences I've had with demons have not been good ones, and I wasn't about to delude myself into thinking you were something worth saving. I didn't plan for how dedicated Portia is to you though. She's always been willing to risk anything to have you, and frankly, it drives me crazy. I don't feel your worthy of that kind of adoration."
Vance smiled. "You're right, I'm not." Grasping the hammer, he began prying the rotted board away from the wall with the clawed side.
Hex sighed. "Let me amend my statement. I didn't think you were worthy—until now. I can see you're making an honest attempt to both protect and keep her happy."
Vance paused and faced Hex. "I must be losing my mind, because I swear I just heard a compliment cross your lips."
Hex grumbled and crossed his arms. "Don't let it go to your head, blood boy. I still have my eye on you."
Vance laughed heartily, clapping Hex on one shoulder. "I wouldn't have it any other way. I wouldn't know how to act otherwise."
Hex smiled slightly. "I need to go before I think I might be starting to like you."
"That's a good idea," Vance agreed. "I'd hate to find out if mutual respect is contagious."
The two men grinned at each other.
"Is it safe enough for me to bring the others back here? They're getting awful tired of living at the hotel."
Vance pondered this for a moment, glancing to where I was sitting. I didn't even try to pretend I wasn't listening this time, wondering what he would say. "I guess it would be fine. Portia's blood is what I crave the most anyway. If I can abstain from her it seems reasonable I could do it with the others too. I can only promise you to try my best."
Hex nodded, walking past Vance. "I need to go talk to your wife."
I watched him head toward me, not seeing the wide grin and the thumbs up sign Vance gave me behind his back, which caused a giggle to burst unexpectedly through my lips. Quickly, I covered my mouth, biting the side as I tried to hide it—feeling fairly composed by the time Hex reached the screen door to the porch.
He came to my side and sighed loudly. "Go ahead. Lay it on me now. I can take it."
"Do you really think I would sit here and gloat with an "I told you so" comment?" I smiled.
"You should. I was wrong about him."
"We've all been wrong about him at some point and time, myself included."
"That may be, but I still want to apologize for doubting your judgment."
"Apology accepted, and thank you for always watching out for me. Vance and I would've never made it this far if it hadn't been for what you've taught me. I'm sorry if it seemed as though I was throwing the things you were telling me back into your face. I was listening, but he's always been the most important priority of mine."
"That's what always made me afraid for you, girl, and it still does. I don't want to see you lose yourself because you're trying to save him." Hex frowned.
Lowering my head, I began rubbing a non-existent spot on the chalice. "There is no me without him," I stated flatly.
"I'm not going to argue with you, especially when I've just tried to square things away with Vance. But you need to learn to stand on your own and be yourself. No one should ever have to rely on someone else to find happiness."
Rising, I faced him squarely. "I have stood on my own without him. It was the loneliest and most terrifying place I've ever been, and I don't ever want to have to do it again—I won't do it again!" Marching into the house, I slammed the door, only to have Hex pop in front of me, barring my way.
"Portia, I'm sorry. I was just trying to tell you what I see."
"Well, see something else then. I'm not changing. This is my life, and he is what I want." I folded my arms and glared at him.
"That's your choice, and I'll do my best to respect it."
Sighing, I slumped into a chair at the dining table. "I'm tired, Hex. I'm tired of all the conflict—all the fighting. I've had to fight with everyone about wanting to stay with Vance. I've had to fight against Damien to try to keep us safe and together, and I've had to fight with Vance through everything he's going through. Not to mention fighting to save Krista, and now trying to find a way to help my dad. I can't do it anymore. It's too much. Either people can accept me the way I am, or they can leave. I won't take the emotional criticism anymore. I'm done."
The door opened, and I didn't need to look to know it was Vance.
"Is everything okay in here," he asked solemnly.
There was a moment of silence before Hex spoke. "It's fine. Portia just needed to set me straight on a few things. I'm leaving now to tell the others they can come back." Disappearing, he left me alone with Vance.
"Hey, baby," he said, his arms coming around me from behind. "You alright?"
"I don't know." Leaning my head against him, I sighed heavily. "I'm just so tired of everything."
"Come on. Let's go put you to bed."
"I can't. I need to get things ready for the others to come back and put some dinner on to cook."
"Portia," he said, tilting my face to his. "I'll take care of all that. Humor me one more time and get some rest before everyone gets here."
Slipping his fingers into mine, he towed me up the stairs to the bedroom. He pulled back the covers and tucked me inside, bending to kiss me lightly on the forehead.
"Get some sleep, baby, and let me take care of you for a change."
"All right," I mumbled, too tired to care about anything else, and I drifted off to sleep.
The smell of food and sounds of laughter woke me, and I sat up slowly, dragging my fingers through my hair as I looked around. I realized the others must be back and wondered what they sounded so jovial about.
Tiptoeing, I made my way to the stairs, sitting on one of the steps so I could observe them unnoticed for a minute. The sight that greeted me was an amusing, pleasant one, and I found myself drinking it in.
Vance was moving back and forth between the stove and the table, serving everyone the dinner he made. It looked like a stew and homemade bread, which shocked me. He had a bright, red-checkered apron on, which went perfectly with the red t-shirt and jeans he was wearing today.
Hex was ribbing him heartily about how domesticated he'd become between the cooking and matching of his accessories to his outfit. Vance was taking it all quite good naturedly, telling Hex to shut up and eat his food or he could starve, as he continued to dish into the other's bowls.
Laughing, Hex took a bite, only to have his eyes widen in surprise. "This is delicious. I was worried it might be a secret assassination attempt to kill us all. I stand corrected."
Vance grinned. "Nobody ever said a poisoning had to taste bad. I wanted to make sure you enjoyed your last meal."
Everyone laughed again.
"I'm glad you're feeling better," my mom said, patting his hand when Vance set a plate with a slice of bread on it down next to her. "I know things have been difficult for you."
Vance turned his hand so he was grasping hers. The grin slid from his face, and he looked at her seriously. "It hasn't been easy. Thankfully your daughter helped me to adjust my attitude, which brought things back into perspective for me. I can't promise you I'll always feel this way, but I can promise I will try. It's the least I can do to help the family who has given up so much for me." Bending down, he kissed my mom on the cheek, moving his hand to squeeze her shoulder. "I will do my best to get Sean back for you, Stacey. I'm so sorry I brought all of this to your family."
My mom wrapped her arms around him, laying her head against his shoulder and Vance held her in his arms, letting her cry.
"None of this is your fault," she whispered. "Stop taking the blame."
He didn't reply, only hugged her tighter, and the tears leaked from my eyes as I witnessed the tender moment between them. Everyone else in the room was quiet now, not really making eye contact as they slowly picked at their food.
Lifting his head, Vance saw me sitting on the stairs. He stared at me for several long moments, continuing to comfort my mom.
Finally she released him, and he cleared his throat, untying his apron. "I better go wake Portia up and see if she wants to eat too."
Leaving my perch, I went back into the bedroom, hearing his footfalls on the steps as he climbed. I waited by the door, and when he entered he closed it behind him.
"I love you," I said, burying my head into his shoulder and letting the tears fall. "Thank you for supporting her. I miss my dad. I'm afraid for him."
He didn't reply, instead stroking my hair while he held me. He didn't tell me to stop, and offered no words of encouragement—he simply held me and let me cry. When I didn't stop he picked me up and carried me back to the bed.
For some reason, I couldn't stop crying. I didn't know why, I just couldn't. It was like the floodgates had broken, releasing the dam of welled up emotion inside me. Sobbing in his arms, I cried for him—for me—for us, for those who had already perished in this fight, and for the ones whose lives still hung precariously in the balance.
We were all victims in this, giving everything we had to try to stop an evil we didn't know how to control, allowing ourselves to be picked off one by one in this game of manipulation. Even those who weren't magical weren't safe. They'd been targeted by association. Something needed to be done to stop this madness.
I didn't convey these thoughts to Vance, but he heard them loud and clear, sharing them with me.
"It's time to go on the offensive," I said softly. "We need to take ourselves out of the role of victims and being the ones who are always trying to keep up. We need to be the aggressors. I know I wanted you to move past your revenge, but we need to fix this before someone else dies."
He kissed the top of my head, clasping me tighter. "I agree," he replied, releasing a large sigh. "We're sitting here waiting for him to make a move and nothing is happening. I think it should be me who goes, though. I won't subject anyone else to this anymore. You've all given up too much already."
I didn't want to argue, but I couldn't let him leave alone. Pushing away, I opened my mouth to tell him exactly how I felt, and he lifted a finger, placing it over my lips.
"Before you start yelling at me, you should listen to what I have to say. I won't leave you behind because I know you'll just follow after me. But I think we should try to make a plan between ourselves and keep the others out of it for the time being. Let's see what we can find out without involving them anymore, and try to find a way to rescue your dad."
I hugged him tightly. "Thank you, Vance." I felt relief coursing through me, knowing we were going to at least try to get something done.
"Portia, I feel the need to warn you. I'm positive your dad is going to be in a bad state. I know Damien, and I'm sure he's tortured him. There are a thousand ways he can drive Sean crazy. It would be a way for him to get even with Sean for his involvement and a way to release his anger toward the rest of us. I don't know if there will be any hope left for him."
Fresh tear started at his words. "This is all my fault. If I hadn't pushed us to escape when we did, perhaps I could've rescued him too. I should've waited."
"No, baby. He was already being manipulated. There was nothing you could've done to help him. He was a pawn in the game long before we were aware Damien had him. Please, don't second-guess yourself. It won't help anything. Let's just try to make a plan for now and take charge of what we can control."
"Okay," I whispered, searching out his lips. I kissed him briefly before staring into his eyes. "Thank you."
"Anything for you, baby. I love you." He kissed me again and embraced me tightly one more time before he released me. "You stay here. I'll go tell everyone you're too tired to come down to dinner, and I'll bring a tray up."
"Vance," I called when he reached the door, and he glanced at me. "Will you stay and eat with me?"
"If you want me too."
"I always want you," I replied, and he grinned widely, winking at me.
"Then I'll be sure to hurry."