Before we start: Here's is the thing, I, as a "writer", want people to understand about my "work". I want my work to create dialogue among people reading. I want it to shock you enough for you to think it through rationally, before having your views on what's happening. That's my goal. To create healthy dialogue and understanding that we have our own point of view. This is what I'm trying to do here by creating these characters and writing these stories. It is very uncomfortable but the world is so diverse that what is OKAY here, might not be somewhere else.
Lol, that's it for now. I'll pop in again if anything else needs to be said. Lol, I always reply to educated and open minded comments. 🤗😊
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There were a few things that I needed to address. Things like the fact that there was a man presently in my bed.
The man in question was naked and a sight I never thought I'd see in my life. Not really, maybe not ever.
There was a moment, as I woke up and noticed the fact that half of my body was lying on Frederick that I panicked; the thought loud in my mind: 'THERE WAS A NAKED FREDERICK IN MY BED!'
Then I also thought; I had been the one to invite him in my bed. I had felt safe enough to do so. He hadn't pressured me and the fact that he was in my bed meant I was okay with it. So my brain needed to be on the same with my body. This, as much as tried to find ways to refuse it, was something that I wanted. I was ready, finally ready to let the past not define my future. I was tired of feeling miserable and not living. I needed to get my life back into my own hands. This was it, this was beginning of a healing process and it all started with this man. He, who within the matter of a few months was able to penetrate my shields. 'Okay, Eva don't freak out. I repeat DO NOT FREAK OUT!'
Nope, never mind I was definitely going to freak out, I thought. A huge grin playing on my face as I stared at Frederick lying next to me and totally oblivious of my state.
My face burned brightly, thinking back to the previous night. No big deal. So what I had sex, consensual sex, with a man; this man currently sleeping beside me.
My eyes would literally not look anywhere else but at him. Was that what people in love felt all the time? To wake up next to the person who makes you smile the most. What you felt as you watched them knowing that they felt just the same about you. I kept staring at him with a hand propped under my head for support.
You're staring." A smile appeared on Frederick's gorgeous face. With his eyes closed, I wondered how he knew.
"I'm sorry, I tried to look away but I physically can not do it." My grin widened and so did his.
"Are you awake?" I asked him, moving my face even closer to his. I felt his chest rise and fall, softly.
"I'm trying not to be," he answered lazily. "You're still staring." His left eyelid fluttered open.
I was. "Sorry." I wasn't. Still, I moved away a little. "How do you know?"
He shrugged as he stretched his muscles to remove any kinks. "I can sense it."
Why has he not opened his eyes yet? I wondered but said nothing. I could let him sleep, he obviously was tired. But then I remembered that he had to head off to work, so whether he wanted it or not he had to wake up.
So really, I was only doing him a favor by wanting him to wake up.
"Eva, I can't sleep if you're staring. I can feel your eyes on me." He laughed.
"Then maybe you should wake up. Don't you have to go to work?"
Finally his eyes opened. "The beauty of being the boss is that you can stay in bed with your girlfriend and not have to worry about firing yourself."
"Wait, what?" I was taken aback by his choice of words. This was sudden. He pulled me in before landing my body on his. You couldn't keep the smile off my face even if you tried. "Is that what I am to you now? Your girlfriend?" I ran my fingers through his hair that had managed to start a war on his head while he had been sleeping.
That was fast, very fast. But my guess was, carrying the man's children--even though that didn't pan out--constituted of the preliminary and could be then counted as the "dating" period. Not that I knew that much about dating and relationships. But whatever relationship this has been so far, has far from anything I had ever heard of.
Most of my knowledge came from long hours of sitting in front of the tv watching romantic movies, while I stuffed my face with anything that had fancied my interests at the particular moment. My favorite go to movie snack was ice cream, but I could do the occasional popcorn.
"Is that okay?" He asked searching my eyes, his face suddenly unsure. "For you to be my girlfriend, I mean?"
I beamed. "I would love nothing more." I answered then pulled his head down to place a chaste kiss on his lips before smacking the back of his neck. Let's go crazy and say this was going too fast for someone that never even dated. But I needed to start somewhere and I didn't know why I felt safe with him, even after everything that has happened. Maybe this was what love felt like.
"Hey, Frederick? If you knew you didn't want to have a kid with Karlie, what happened?" He moved off me to lie on his back next to me which made me turn my head to the side to be able to see his face.
"It was a few weeks after you had miscarried the first time. We had gone to one of her friend's birthday party. I think I was pretty inebriated even though I don't remeber getting quite that drunk. I don't like the feeling of being vulnerable and incapacitated. But I woke up the next morning in bed naked next to Karlie. It looked like we had sex but I didn't see any wrapper around. When I told her she said I had told her that I was ready to make a baby." He explained. I didn't want to be upset and hurt but I was, not because I was hearing of a time when Frederick had slept with Karlie, but because he would even say that he was ready to have a child with her when he told me the contrary.
"Hey, I don't remember saying any of this to her. And honestly I figured she was just as intoxicated so how could she even remember?" He held my head. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
Karlie wasn't a good person but now with her pregnant and carrying Frederick's child, it was obvious she would never be out of his life. Did I want to take on all this drama? We might not have proven that she was responsible for what happened to me. But I still did not trust her.
Frederick didn't want to be with her, he chose me. Came after me. He said it's always been me and I had to believe he meant every words.
I felt his fingers on my arm as he shook me lightly. "Hey, are you still with me?"
I shook my head while gazing into his beautiful eyes and smiled, my fingers tracing the lines on his face. "Just tell me one thing, and I can take it." I started.
Frederick nodded. "Is there any possibilities that her baby might not be yours?" I asked and waited for him to answer as he moved to lay on his side.
"What? What do you mean? I have never thought about it because I have never thought that Karlie had ever cheated on me or would ever do. I was waiting for the baby to be born before I did a paternity test."
"Oh I see. And do you where is she now?"
"She is currently working in London. She was supposed to be back at the end of the week for her doctor's appointment to find out the sex of the baby." He answered, getting up to grab his phone which had started ringing on the bed next to him.
I watched as his face changed into a frown as he answered. "Karlie, what's up?" His sentence peeked my interest so I raised myself into a sitting position and listened carefully. After a few seconds of listening to Karlie over the phone Frederick shook his head. His answer though, made quickly realize that they weren't necessarily on friendly terms.
"We said you'd wait until you're back in the state. I wanted to be there. How could you be so selfish?" he said. Then, "Of course you'd say that." Followed by, "oh since you didn't want to wait, in that case I guess it's fine." He rolled his eyes sarcastically. Finally, after listening for a moment, he added; "You know what, I'm done arguing about it. It's not going to change anything. What did the doctor say?" He asked. The air around us thickened. I knew what she was about to tell him was big. I held in a breath and watched him. He sat up but said nothing.
After a long, intense moment, I heard Karlie's voice at the other end. "Frederick, did you hear me?" That got a reply out of him.
"Yes, I did. Thank you. I'll come see you tonight." And then he hang up.
I watched him, his expression wasn't hard, it was one undiluted aw. "What did she say?" I asked carefully. He shook his head as if trying to come back to where we were. He looked at me and smiled.
"A baby boy. I'm having a baby boy." He said, his smile spreading, making his blue eyes twinkle. Genuine happiness. He pulled me down on the bed by my legs and crowded me. I squealed. "I'm having a boy, Eva. I'm having a baby boy." And then he kissed me, long and hard. I let him, feeling bittersweet but chastising myself over the feeling. I should be happy for him. He's wanted a baby enough to pay a stranger thousands of dollars.
"I'm happy for you, Frederick. Though you could have picked a better woman to be the mother of your child." I said as he lie down next to me.
A heavy sigh left his body. "I would pick you a hundred times over to be the mother of my child. But unfortunately, that isn't happening. I'm still going to love my boy, no matter what. That baby hasn't asked to be made so it's my duty to love him unconditionally." He said, turning to meet my eyes. I smiled, feeling proud. I leaned over to him and kissed him before getting out of the bed.
"I'm gonna make us some breakfast. Are you good with pancakes and some eggs?" I asked him, heading toward my bedroom door.
"You're naked."
I looked down at my body to find nothing. Not a single item of clothing. "Oops, let's not give mrs. Winslet a heart attack here." I laughed and walked over to my walk-in-closet which was incredible, seeing as New York City bedrooms had the tendency of being like a closet themselves.
"I do feel bad for your unborn child. He is unfortunate enough to have Karlie as a mother." I yelled, pulling clothes off of hangers.
"Eva, come on,"
"I would be a great mother." I yelled again while still pulling clothes off hangers, deciding on some pyjamas. I walked out to find him in his slacks and a white undershirt.
"If you want, I can ask for a paternity test." He said. I smiled and approached him.
"Oh yeah? I mean, it would be hundred percent your decision. I have no say in this. But if you wanted to do so, I would support you." I raised up on my toes and grabbed his shirt collars.
"How could I ever say no?" He whispered, before taking my lips with his.
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K, byeeeeee 😊 😄