"Melanie?" Joey's voice is soft, gentle, like he's scared of spooking you, like you're some sort of wild animal.
"She's here, I know she is. She wouldn't have left." Link whispers.
Their words echo in this empty flat of yours. And now it's just yours, isn't it? Now that Winnie's gone?
The alcohol is making your head pound.
"Mels, I know you're in here. Please say something."
"Lincoln Caise," you drawl, giggling at the southern accent your voice takes on.
"Boy, she's drunk," Joey throws one of your arms around his shoulder, Lincoln taking the other.
"Mels, what happened?" Link is gentle, too gentle. Too much like Winnie. The smile drops from your face.
"She's gone, Link. And you know what? Fuck her. Fuck her for leaving." You don't feel so good. Too sober. Too serious.
"You don't mean that, Mels." Link murmurs, rubbing your back.
You take a shaky breath. "But I want to. I want to mean it so much."
"I know, Melly." Link looks like he's in pain. "I know.
You break down.
Sobs rack your body, leaving you to choke on tears. You can't breathe.
"Melanie, I need you to breathe for me, alright? In four, hold four, out four, okay? One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. Good, Mel, you're doing great." Winnie's method to calm you down. It's not working without her there to hold your hand.
You're mildly aware of your surroundings, but right now all you can focus on are pieces of memories from tonight.
The job. The club. The girl with the green pixie cut. The explosion. Winnie's eyes filled with tears.
Everything is fragmented. You don't think you'll ever be whole again.
So you start to analyze. You go back to this morning in your mind to see where it all went wrong.
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It's been three weeks since the ball and you feel like you're living a completely different life.
You wake up, and you're in love with Winnie. You eat breakfast and stare at her dreamily as she belts out songs from her favorite musicals while making waffles. You go to work and pray for her to text you. You come home and help her cook dinner, waiting for the moment when your hands touch. You snuggle into her side at night, watching movies on the couch.
It's a little bit surreal.
"MELLY!" The blonde girl races into your bedroom, cell phone in hand as she wraps herself around you (not that you're complaining).
"Winnie...?" Because it is a bit unusual for her to be this perky.
"I just got a call from one of my friends I caught up with at Talia's thing. She can't sing at this bar opening tonight because she has laryngitis, so she asked if I could take her place!"
Your eyes widen in shock and disbelief. "Winnie, you got offered a gig? That's so awesome! Do you know what you're going to sing?"
She shrugs. "Mostly covers. But I am allowed to sing one of my original songs, and I'm told a lot of label managers will be there. This could be my shot!"
"Aw, Winnie!" You squeeze her tighter, "I'm so proud of you!"
"So, Melly, I kind of have this huge favor to ask..." She bites her lip. "Can you doll me up? I wanna make a good first impression."
You flash her a wicked grin. "Trust me sweetie, that I can do."
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The night is no longer young and the crowds adore Winnie, performing as a solo artist for the first time in a long time. And now, it's time for the final song of the night: her original.
I crave the side of you that you don't show
Her eyes close as she loses herself to the music. This is something you've always admired about the girl: her unapologetic passion for absolutely everything in her life.
Take me as I am, or have the decency to let me go
The way they leave tells you everything you ever need to know
If you never try to fall in love you'll never know
She twirls around the bar in a black and white dress that compliments her figure, courtesy of you. The mass of customers are practically in love with the bright and bubbly blonde girl.
We don't write songs about easy love
You're the girl that people warned me of
Winnie's lost in the lyrics she's written, in the whole other reality she's created between the melodies and harmonies. You couldn't reach out to pull her back to Earth if you tried.
So say you'll stay till the morning light appears
I'm not flawless but am I good enough for here?
Right now, I'll keep my promises if you keep holding on
To me, you are everything
Just say you'll stay
When she finishes the song, she stand on stage, eyes wide open and oh-so full of light. She receives a standing ovation.
"Thank you!" She giggles to herself, causing the audience to 'aw'. Hordes of human beings swarm the songwriter, begging her for an autograph or a contract.
"Hi there, superstar." This piques your interest. Who is this?
"Hi," Winnie replies, brushing her hair out of her eyes. The girl with the green pixie cut snuggles up into the singer's side, and you want to puke your guts out. Who does this girl this she is, anyway?
"You wanna maybe get out of here? Go for a few drinks somewhere more... private." Oh God.
"Actually, my friend needs a ride home," yeah, that's it, Winnie, way to go! She's such a good friend, "but maybe some other time? Here's my number." No, that's not correct. Do not give the girl your...
She gives the girl her number.
"See you around?"
"See you around, Seaford."
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You don't speak the entire drive home from the bar. You don't complain about Bucky, you don't praise her performance, you just stare numbly out the window, replaying the conversation between Winnie and the girl.
"You've been awfully quiet." Oh, you're sitting on the couch now. How odd. You don't remember getting up to move here. "Are you okay?"
Right, Winnie's your roommate. You should respond how roommates do.
"Er..." Way to go, Melanie. Very nonchalant. Very casual.
Winnie bumps your shoulder and gives you that soft, sweet smile that doesn't look like much but means the fucking world to you.
"Hey," She whispers, "what's wrong?" And you want to say nothing but somehow you know she won't believe a word that comes out of your mouth. This is it. You're sitting on the floor of your apartment, moping about whatever-her-name-was and Winnie, and the girl you can't be in love with has no idea that you're about to ruin your friendship forever.
"Win, best friends don't keep secrets, do they?"
Winnie frowns and shakes her head and looks at you because you're choking up, and shit, you can't keep it together. "There's a lot of secrets between us, Win. Like...when one person feels more for a person than the other."
Winnie doesn't look surprised. Her stormy seawater eyes fill up with fresh tears, and you know your confession is killing her inside but you need to get this out. "And you know, when you...love someone who doesn't love you back, I mean, nothing good can come of that, because you can't be in love with someone who doesn't love you back, right?"
And at this point Winnie's shaking and tears trail down her cheeks and she won't even look at you...
You've ruined everything, haven't you? You've loved like a fool and now everything is crashing down around you.
"Melly," her voice cracks, and you stand up. You're inside your room in a matter of seconds, leaning against your wall.
You hear the familiar jingle of Winnie's keys, and the squeak of the front door, which might as well be the noises of bombs dropping down and destroying your life for good. Then... Silence.
The silence is worse, somehow.
All that can be heard is your fragile heart shattering into millions of little pieces.
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