{Calli}
Leaving Austin was a mistake. But being with him was a mistake as well. On my plane ride home I let Demi know that I'm coming back early. I get an earful of questions that I can't answer. She wants to know everything, but answering only brings tears to my eyes. Once my plane lands I make my way to baggage claim, and the first thing I see is Demi. I run into her arms and finally let my tears take over. My side is aching from the running and sobbing combination. She leads me to her car where Beth is sitting in the front seat. She climbs out and hugs me. I squeeze her back before the three of us load up the car.
Back at my house I get to see Grey and my mom. I finally get to meet Nathan, and he seems decent enough. Actually he's perfect for her. He actually proposed to my mom in January. They're planning for an April-end of March wedding. So close to my birthday. Tonight, they had a date planned, along with Grey, so they leave. Demi and Beth stay with me to get the details. I start with the beginning, how Maddi had been out to get me, and her jealousy. I mention Austin, and how much it hurts to be home without him. He calls frequently, but I can't answer it. Hearing his voice will shatter me completely.
I came back halfway through Spring Break, so once the break is over I'm back at school. I'm greeted by my friends, all asking how the tour was, and what its like dating Austin. That last question is the hardest one. I get to my first period class with Mr. Finch, instantly making this day horrible. He turns around from the board and see me sitting in my normal seat.
"Ah Calli.' He says. "I heard you were back. I thought we weren't supposed to see you for another three or four weeks?"
Everyone turns and stares at me. Tears fill my eyes. I swallow the lump in my throat to answer. "I came back early. It wasn't working out for me."
"That's right!" He exclaims. "I heard you were in a nasty accident. What happened?"
"I was dropped by my dance partner. He slipped on water and fell. He couldn't catch me, so I hit my head and suffered t a concussion. Along with a broken wrist, and fractured rib." I can't keep my voice steady no matter how hard I try.
"Wow, that must've been painful." Sarcasm floods his voice. He looks around at the class. "Now everyone Calli is the perfect example of why we shouldn't have dreams too big." He stares in my eyes. "Because all you get is heartbreak." He breaks his glare. "Now let's get started."
I put my head on my desk and let the sobs control me. The rest of the day is like that, except for my performance class. Since I can't dance Mrs. Garcia wants me to try out singing. I tried a few times before I left. She always thought I had the potential, with a little practice. I sing the song she picked out. It hurts every now and then hitting the high notes, and singing from my diaphragm. I finish and everyone stares in awe.
"Calli, your voice has gotten so much stronger." She boasts. 'I'm very impressed."
At the end of class she gives an assignment. We have three weeks to pick a song that "speaks to us.' We have to really feel from this song, and perform it for the annual April Performance show, we put on for the town. In my dance class we have the same assignment, of course I can't do it though. Miss Hayes informs me that I can perform it after my rib is healed though.
The next two weeks go by like hell. I'm missing Austin more than anything. It hurts that I ended it the way I did. I cling to my pillow every night, crying my heart out. My mom hears sometimes and lays with me, until I've cried myself to sleep.
I get hate mail from Austin's fans daily. All of them say that I broke their hero's heart. I've been getting death threats lately as well. Those hurt the worst. The fact that they feel the need to tell me that no one would miss me when I die, is heart wrenching. I've thought about it a dozen times, at least, but I'd never tell anyone that.
The night of Austin's Seattle show Demi and Beth stay the night at my house. We do what we normally would've done during sleepovers before I left. But my heart still isn't in it. My phone continuously goes off with tweets. All of them telling me to die or go to hell. I deicide to look through them, for no reason at all.
"Call, don't do this to yourself.' Demi says softly. "Don't let them win."
"They already did." I whisper through tears. "I left Austin. They won. They want me to die. I can make that happen."
Beth wraps her arms around me. "Calli don't listen to them. You can't win with them."
I look down at the tweets and see one with a picture attached to it. I open it and see the picture of Austin and I sleeping on the bed in Arizona. Next to the picture it says, 'Stop the hate. We want Aulli back."
I smile at the tweet. I forgot that's the name they gave Austin and I.
'What are you smiling at?" Demi asks peering at my phone.
I show her the tweet. "That's from Arizona. Dave took it while we were sleeping." I smile at the picture. "This was a couple days before we were in Colorado. I remember this was when I knew I was going to be in love with him, very soon." My voice cracks. "And I do. I still do."
"Then tell him Calli." Beth says. "He deserves to know."
"What if it doesn't change anything?' I whisper. "I left him. What if he never forgives me."
"You have to try." Demi says taking my hands. "You don't have to call him. Send a tweet. Just do something."
"Austin loves you. Everyone knows it." Beth says. "There's no way he wouldn't forgive you."
I take a deep breath taking in my best friend's words. I nod my head. 'Okay. I'll do it." I reach for my phone and stare for a few seconds before I finally think of something. I type quickly and push send.
"I still love you. That's a fact. But a million apologies won't bring you back."
Instantly I get hate from it. I don't deserve to be forgiven, I don't deserve Austin's love at all. One tweet however stands out. The icon is familiar. It's Austin. I recognize the picture of me kissing his cheek, and him grinning from ear to ear. I read the words next to his icon. Tears fill my eyes, as I choke on a sob.
"I forgive you."
Those three words send me overboard. Demi and Beth read the tweet.
"You have to call him Calli." Demi says.
"I agree Cal, it's perfect." Beth responds.
Before I can protest my phone starts ringing. The ringtone. Heart In My Hand is playing.
"That's Austin's ringtone." I say in shock. "That's Austin. Shit! What do I do?"
"Answer it!" Demi and Beth scream in unison.
I fumble with the phone before I finally answer it. "Hello?" My voice shakes.
"Calli?" Austin's sweet voice fills my ears. "Babe is that you?"
I let out a small sob. "Yeah it's me."
Austin sighs. "God you have no idea how good it feels to hear your voice. I've missed you more than anything, baby."
"I do know." I chuckle through my sobs. "I miss you so much."
Demi and Beth walk out to let me talk to Austin in private.
"Why's you leave me?" He asks, pain is evident in his voice.
I swear I felt my heart just shatter. "I thought it would be easier."
"How would it be easier?"
"With Maddi off my case, you not having to worry about if I'm in pain or not. It just seemed right at the moment."
"Was it?"
"No." I whisper. "I hate myself so much Austin. Leaving you was the worst thing I have ever done." Here's my chance to tell him how I feel. "I regret it so much. I just want your arms around me again. I want you to kiss me just like the last time. I want to hear you say you love me. I want to tell you how much of an idiot you are. I want to see your smile. I want to feel safe with you. I want to tell you how much I love you. I didn't realize how much I needed you. I'm so sorry. Please, please forgive me."
I hear Austin sigh and sniff into the phone. "I don't cry, but ever since you left that's all I've been doing." He softly chuckles. "That's all I've wanted to hear the past two and half weeks. I needed to know that you still love me." He sniffs. 'Because, damn it Calli, I do still love you."
I laugh softly through my tears. 'We sound like a bunch of babies right now."
"How've you been doing?"
I chuckle. "Horrible. I cry myself to sleep almost every night, I've been getting so much crap from my teachers about how I shouldn't have gone after a dream too big for me. Your fans hate me too. They send me death threats constantly. On the plus side my cast is off, and I've been given the ok to dance again."
Austin chuckles. "The last part I'm glad to hear. I don't like that you've been crying yourself to sleep, or that people are criticizing your dreams." He sighs. 'Are they really sending you death threats?"
"Every day." I whisper.
"Baby I'm so sorry you have to deal with that."
'I'm ok." I sigh. 'I mean it hurts, but I can't change it."
"I'm going to fix this ok?' Austin says. 'I promise."
I smile. 'Thank you."
Austin and I spend the next two hours catching up. He fills me in on everything that's happened. Maddi got kicked off the tour because Monica confessed to what Maddi did. The concert's have been going well, but Austin missed me during all the performances. He brings up the fact that my birthday is the day after his last performance, so he's going to come see me.
March 29th. Two weeks. Fourteen days. I can make it.