warning for beginning of chapter, it's not horribly intimate but read at your own risk! shout out to my co-writer for it!
Rachel's POV
"I promise I'll be gentle, okay?" Harry looks at me sincerely in the eyes as he climbs back onto the bed, hovering over me. He leans down and his lips meet mine and he kisses me slowly, his tongue teasing mine. I love how his lips seem to be molded against mine. Puling back slightly, he starts kissing the corners of my mouth, then the tip of my nose, and back to my lips again. My hands go to his back as I desperately try to push him closer to me.
"What..what now?" I ask before I can stop myself between kisses.
"Eager?" he teases and I find myself nodding. "So am I, baby." He exhales against my neck, the hotness of his breath making me weaker. "Are..are you—"
"Harry, ask me if I'm sure again and I will kill you."
He smiles against my lips, shaking his head slightly. "Alright then, I'll keep shut. Slow baby, we need to go slow," he whispers against my earlobe. "It is going to hurt at first, so please, tell me if you want me to stop. Please, I mean it, okay?" he says quietly, staring straight into my eyes as he awaits my answer.
"Okay," I nod. I've heard that it hurts, that it really can hurt, but it can't be that bad...I hope not at least.
Harry kisses me once again, giving me clarity. I feel him brush against my thigh, causing me to shudder. Seconds later, he presses himself into me...
My eyes screw tightly shut and I hear myself gasp. It's such a foreign feeling.
"Baby, are you okay?
I give him a slight nod and he moves farther inside of me. I wince from the pain, it's like a pinching feeling deep inside. Gosh, it's just as bad as people say, maybe worse.
"F–fuck..." Harry groans as his body stills. Not even moving, this is so very uncomfortable. "Is it okay for me to move?"
"Yeah," I breathe. The pain continues and I try to keep myself quiet. Harry must notice my struggle when he starts kissing me all over to comfort me. My lips, my cheeks, my nose, my neck, and even the few tears that are breaking from the corners of my eyes I didn't realize had embarrassingly escaped. To keep the tears from falling I focus myself on squeezing Harry's inked arms and the softness of his lips on me.
"Oh...Rach.." he moans, his voice very strained and raspy. His head rolls back and he takes a deep breath, then leaning down to whisper against my ear. "I love you. I love you so much, Rachel." No matter how comforting his voice is, the pain still persists as he rolls his hips against mine.
I really want to tell him how much I love him, but I'm scared that if I talk, I'll end up crying, or making a noise of pain.
"Baby, do you want me to stop?"
With the pleasure and edginess of his voice, I shake my head and watch as he closes his eyes tightly. His sharp jaw tenses in concentration and I admire the way his large muscles pull and contract under his tanned skin.
My pain nearly disappears as I look at him coming undone as I reach my high. With his fingers, he brushes my cheekbone then kisses me again before burying his head in the crook of my neck. His breathing is hot, wild against my neck and I feel myself near euphoria.
He brings his face to mine and opens his eyes, letting me gaze right into those green pearls. His eyes are dilated more than I've ever seen, and I know I would take this pain over and over just to feel like this. I feel so connected, a connection so strong that I feel so new and alive.
The emotions running through those brilliant jade wonders of his as they look into mine unleashes those tears from my eyes. I love him, without a doubt, and through everything, absolutely everything we've been through in this short time, I know he loves me too. No matter what happens, I will always know that in this moment he was everything to me. I will never, ever, regret waiting this long. Not sleeping with Jacob was the best decision I've ever made.
I can see that it is taking everything in Harry to control himself right now, to keep this pace for me, and it makes me love him so much more. Time is lost as he moves in and out of me, and I can't resist kissing him. I kiss on his neck and that spot under his ear that we have in common that drives us both crazy.
"You are doing so good for me, baby. Oh God...I love you so much," he shivers over me, moaning my name.
I've gotten used to this, and it doesn't really hurt anymore. Is it uncomfortable? Yes, I still feel a sting when he pushes into me. I start to kiss his neck like he did to me, and finally tug on his hair, something I know he's been waiting for.
"I–I love you, Harry," I manage to get out.
I earn a moan from him, as he leans in to bring his swollen lips to kiss me. "Baby, I'm almost—"
I kiss his neck, repeating a pattern that he uses on me. Harry's eyes never leave mine as he rides out his high, promising me his unconditional love as he gently falls on top of me, his body tensing and relaxing. I feel his heart thumping against my chest and I kiss the damp top of his head. After a moment, his chest stops it's heaving and he lifts himself up, pulling out of me and I can't help but wince at the sudden emptiness. I wait for him to clean off and he climbs back over me.
"Are you okay? How was it? Do you feel okay?" Harry's eyes search my face, his vulnerability surfacing.
"I'm okay," I assure him, brushing my hand up and down his arm. I press my legs together to try and ease the pain and cover myself up with the duvet. I really don't feel like moving.
"Was...was it how you expected?" he sweeps his hair off his forehead, leaning on his elbow next to me.
"Better, actually," I reply with honesty. With everything, this was more amazing than I expected. "What about you?"
"Oh, baby that was perfect, you did so good for me, angel."
I can see the relief in him from my reaction to what we just did, and he smiles. I'm relieved more than I realize, that he thinks I did okay. He looks pleased, and I couldn't be happier. Harry presses his lips against my forehead before suddenly getting up from his position and sitting up.
I sit myself up, wincing from my pain. "Harry?"
Harry holds up a finger to me, before sneezing. Then sneezing again...and again.
"Harry, are you okay?" I laugh, as he rises from the bed and covers himself with his boxers from the floor, reaching for a tissue to blow his nose. I start to joke, "So, having sex with me gives people allergies?"
He shakes his head and laughs, pulling up his boxers as he throws away the used tissue. "Not quite, love. I think...it was just being out...out.." Harry interrupts himself by sneezing. "Dammit," he curses, "outside. I'm fine though, love."
I'm joined on the bed by this repeatedly sneezing man and he covers himself in the duvet with me, pulling my back to his chest. I feel his body on mine and it is still hot and sweaty...too hot and sweaty. If I've already cooled down, he should have.
"You are so not fine, you're still sweating and you are insanely hot," I beg to differ, turning around to face him, pressing my hand to his forehead to find my thinking correct.
"I know I am," he wriggles his eyebrows. "Thank you, baby, but I'm telling you I am perfectly—" he turns his head to sneeze once again, then turning back to me. "I am fine. I don't get sick."
I raise my eyebrows at him, "Everyone gets sick. What time is it? If it's not too late I can buy you something maybe.." I turn and grab my phone off the night stand, reading that it is later than I thought it was, and I find a text from Matthew from hours ago. "Ugh, it's nearly midnight, and I'm scheduled to work at ten tomorrow. I can't get you medicine now."
"Baby that's fine, don't worry about me I'm alright. I don't do medicine. You need to get some sleep, you're working tomorrow," Harry speeds his words up to sneeze again and not interrupt himself.
I can't help but laugh at us. We just finish this climatic moment, so passionate and intense, and one of us is sick with allergies; unlike the usual love stories of couples ending their nights cuddling and dozing off, I'm here with my prince charming who seems to have caught something from our night of fun, and is too stubborn to let me take care of him.
"What are you laughing about?" he sniffles, eyes wild and still dilated from before. Gosh he's so handsome, and he's all mine.
"Nothing, just...everything has fallen into place I think. It—" I'm stopped with his adorable sneeze but he motions for me to continue. I chuckle, "It may not be perfect, but I can say, it's perfect for me. You've changed my mind about birthdays. And...you waited for me for over a month, so I thank you for that."
"I would have waited for you for as long as you wanted. I'm thankful you cared to let me in to your life, and let me have the honor of loving you." Harry sniffles again before placing a kiss to my forehead. His words make my heart melt every damn time.
"Can I tell you something?" I'm not sure if I'll regret saying what I feel or not.
"Anything, angel."
"You know, I've never met someone who makes me feel both safe yet terrified at the same time. When I'm with you and we talk about a future together, no matter how scared it makes me, I find myself believing you. And when you hold me close at night, like this, and do what we just did, I feel completely content. But there's always an underlying fear that one day you're going to leave me. I get scared that you're my whole book, but I'm only just a chapter of yours."
Harry stares at me, before shaking his head and pressing me closer to him in a tight, loving hug. "You never have to worry about that, don't ever worry about that Rachel. I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me to. Don't think that way, please never do. Tonight was the best I've had, in all honesty, and I'm glad I got to change your mind, you deserved a good birthday. Now get some rest for me, love."
I tell him I love him, kissing his forehead and turning back around to try to sleep, after what has been an amazing night. I feel Harry let go of me to cover his mouth as he sneezes, and I crack up, getting a teasing squeeze on my thigh from him.
* * *
I wake up early, way earlier than I wanted but being unable to sleep has been the downside to the best night of my life, the name I decided to dub my birthday a few hours ago as I laid in bed with Harry's constant groans and sneezes, both trying to get some sleep.
In these early hours I've washed my clothes from the night before to wear today, the pain from last night barely ceasing to go away. Though with the pain has come a glow on my body, my cheeks naturally blushed, a smile I can't seem to get rid of, and my esteem high and well, so it's a win overall, and I am never going to regret it.
I've showered and applied some of the makeup I left here when I moved out, and let my hair take its natural wavy shape. I found Harry sleeping when I had finished getting ready, and I made the mistake of accidentally waking him up when I was just too desperate to run my hands through his tangled, curly hair. Now he's awake and being his stubborn, sick self.
"No Harry, you're sick. Stay in." I press my lips to Harry's forehead, rubbing his shoulder as he grunts while trying to get up. For the whole night Harry had been terribly ill, but still trying to convince me that he wasn't even near to being sick. I know I caught a few hours of decent sleep, though I don't think he did until before I carelessly woke him. I'm making him stay in bed, regardless that his fever has gone down slightly. I can take myself ten minutes to work.
"I'm fine, I told you. I'll get a shower and then we can leave." Harry groans when he sits up and his hands immediately fly towards his forehead, rubbing as if he was sporting a gruesome headache.
"You can barely sit up. It's fine, it's only a ten minute walk to work." I pick up the wet rag I had left Harry on the night table, pushing Harry back so his back is resting against the mattress and let the wet rag run over his forehead to cool him down. Harry sighs out in bliss, the boy is so stubborn, and if anything, he doesn't want me taking care of him when he's sick because he feels he should be taking care of me.
"Does that feel good?" I ask him, letting the rag rest there and over his eyes as he stays in the position I pushed him in. His shirt is scattered with sweat marks, his sweatpants low on his hips but I know that as soon as I leave through the door he'll discard both towards the floor. He's still burning up and I simply can't get him to take anything, so he has to suffer if he wants to be that way.
"Yeah, thank you, love." Harry sighs out as his rough, calloused hand runs over my short overalls covered leg. I give him a small smile even though he can't see it and let my hand rest against his that is still cupping my thigh, giving it a tiny squeeze to let him know it's alright. "I love those clothes on you, Rachel." He murmurs, rubbing the fabric as he keeps his eyes closed, clearly drained with his illness.
"Do you want me to stay home?" I ask him, letting my bum rest on the bed next to him. I'm already set to go, and I was actually leaving ten minutes ago, but Harry seemed so desperate for a little help and when he realized it was time for me to leave, I felt guilty.
"No, don't stay home for me. Go ahead to work, my little workaholic. We're not joined at the hip. But be careful with you know who." Harry chuckles and I roll my eyes at his statement.
That's Harry being the jealous type; with me working alongside Matthew being too much for his liking. I know Harry, and he'd pop up out of nowhere to make sure Matthew, or any guy for that matter, knew who I belonged to. I am starting not to really mind it though, I think it is sort of sweet that he cares for me on such a level. As long as he doesn't see my male mates, or boss, as threats, everything will be alright.
"I'll be fine I promise. I just need to run home before dance to pick up my shoes and change, then I'll drive to class." I explain, putting emphasis on the drive to class part, because I know how he feels about that, with everything that happened just less than a week ago in that alley. Though I'm really happy class is starting back up again after the safety scare, I still need to perfect my moves on this routine, and my last night practice should be coming up soon...I think.
I feel the guilt already creep up on my shoulders again and rest there as I press my lips to his damp forehead, sweat mixed with the water I'd wetted the cloth with.
"Be careful, and tell your boss to behave, or else I'll have to tell him how amazing I made you feel last night." Harry breathes as he tries to press his lips to mine but I avoid them, as much as I hate to, I have no idea what small allergies or cold he has right now and I'm not actually willing to get sick. I won't be able to care for him when I'm down as well...and I have somewhat of a germ thing..
"You won't be doing such a thing, since that requires you getting out of bed. I love you very much Harry, I'll call you when I'm heading to my place." I smile and wink at him as I squeeze his cheek, stepping away from him and towards the coat rack to grab my jacket and bag. I glance once more at my sick boyfriend, taking a deep breath before I wave at him and walk out the door.
I spot a text from Matthew on my cell as I make it down and out to the Hampstead streets, asking me where I've been and if I'm okay, and before I can reply that I was being held up by Harry, the device vibrates in my hand with a call from him. I answer that I'm on my way and hang up as I rush in the chilly, busy street to my job.
"Rachel! Happy belated birthday," I get from Matthew as soon as I step into the kitchen, the other employees including Lacey giving me an eye roll.
"Thanks Matty," I ignore them. I had the time of my life last night, I could care less about them.
Matthew comes up to me, that big, contagious smile of his brightening the room. "Thanks for coming in, here's your apron. Whoa, you look tired. Long night of celebration?" he laughs, and I can't help but laugh back for a different reason.
Yeah, a night of fair rides, lingerie presents, meaningful necklaces, first times, and sneeze attacks, I think to myself. What a night it was. A night I wish to repeat again and again.
"Here, I'll get you a coffee. Do you think you could help wait and clean tables? I didn't know you'd come in so I called Lacey instead, but Kyle could not come in today, so that spot is open. I promise you still have your spot, just, could you help me there for today?"
I smile and nod. As long as I'm working, I'll be alright. Though the idea that Lacey has my actual spot for today makes me angry since she always is up to take my sales, but it's only for today.
I tie up my apron and see relief in Matthew's eyes. "Thank you so much. I'll get you coffee, alright?"
Matthew races to the back and I head out onto the dining area to clean up tables and assist customers. As I walk back to drop off dishes, Lacey shoots a glare and cocky smile at me.
"Late night?" she teases, cracking herself up. She looks around to see if any customers are around before leaning against the countertop. "How many guys this time? Twenty-one is a big deal to you Americans."
I ignore her immaturity and take a drink of the warm, much needed caffeinated coffee Matthew served me. I replace the sound of her continuing annoying mockery with thoughts of Harry as I pick up my tray and walk back out to do my job. That's why I'm here.
I try to keep myself busy for the next couple of hours, but I'm constantly thinking about Harry though, hoping he's doing fine.
My thoughts are interrupted when a body sets itself next to me, his large hands cupping a cup of coffee which is halfway finished. "May I have a refill?"
"Of course," I smile politely and walk to get the pot, returning to him in his booth and filling up the cup.
"A pretty girl like you shouldn't be working somewhere like this."
Internally, I am already rolling my eyes as I let my gaze fall onto the man, giving him a small, fake smile as I place the coffee pot back on my tray. "I like working here actually, it's fun. Anything to pay the bills and keep busy."
"I must say, though, you should be modeling or something, sweetheart. That outfit is smoking on you." The young man gives me a smug grin, his eyes trailing where they seriously shouldn't be.
Why do all enemies of mine seem to call me sweetheart? I get reminded of Jacob, and start to breathe a bit heavily.
I don't answer, frankly I'm spooked by his way of giving me a compliment. Don't men ever realize that talking about how 'hot' a girl is, or looks isn't that appreciated after you've passed a certain age? Or that it's rather inappropriate, especially at a work place? Isn't this harassment?
"Can I offer to buy you a coffee?"
I shake my head no as I pick up the tray. "No thank you, I'm quite busy trying to do my job." I try to walk away, but his hand lands gently on my arm, stopping my movement.
"I really want to get to know you, love."
I see Matthew eyeing me, wondering what's up, and just as I want to wave him over to save me from this creep, a familiar voice behind me pops up and saves the day.
"I'd appreciate it if you'd let go of my girlfriend, mate." Harry's rough, refrained voice chimes against my ear as his hand rests on my waist. I grin widely as I turn my head towards him, mentally thanking him for showing up, even though I could scold him from being outside right now.
"I didn't know she had a boyfriend man, she was–" Harry stops the boy's rambling with his raised hand, his jaw locked as he glares at him.
"I don't give a fuck frankly; go find another one, she belongs to me."
It seems like the guy isn't ready to give up but Harry pushes my body behind his and the guy raises to his feet quickly, his hands up in a defensive manner. I don't know why more people aren't looking at the scene that is playing out in front of me, however I can feel Matthew's and Lacey's eyes watching us.
"Alright, alright, I'll leave her alone. She isn't that cute anyways. Don't bother checking for a tip." He murmurs under his breath as he pushes past Harry and I have to pull Harry's shirt as hard as I can manage as he tries to go after him. Lucky for me he's weaker because of his health today.
"Leave it." I breathe out as I let my arms wrap around his waist to make him focus on me. "Why are you here? You're sick, you should be in bed." I grunt, glaring at my boyfriend as I push him away from me as soon as I feel the hotness seep through his shirt. He does feel less warm, and I'm guessing his fever is a little over 100 now, which is improvement. His hair is under that green beanie of his and he's wearing his packers sweatshirt with the jeans from yesterday, and I can still feel his temperature.
"I got tired at home waiting for you, I missed you. Plus, I had a feeling this would happen, and I'm not leaving my girl out alone with so many freaks roaming London." Harry states and I bite my lips and refrain of rolling my eyes, rubbing his sides in a soothing manner when I see him shudder from his fever. He will never understand he can't protect me from everything, my stubborn boyfriend.
"Come on, I have some coffee you can drink." I pull him along to the front counter where Matthew and Lacey are standing, Matthew staring a little oddly and Lacey with her jaw to the ground.
"Nobody is stealing my girl." He gruffly states and I roll my eyes as I squeeze his hot torso a bit closer to me.
"I love you, but you're mental. My shift is over anyway, I've got to get to class."
He kisses my cheek and leans against the counter; Lacey still stares at us in awe. Matthew finally loosens up when I walk into the kitchen area and start to remove my apron.
"Rachel, who was that guy? What the hell did he want?" Matthew comes up to me, inquiring and helping with my apron, and Harry stands up straight as he seems ready to save me again.
"He's some creep we should never allow in here again," I remark, shaking my head that the nerve of that stupid guy.
"I'll make sure to keep him out, I got a good look at him," Matthew smiles at me and I smile back, but the sound of Harry clearing his throat snakes my attention away from Matthew.
"Oh, Harry, how are you?" Matthew is so polite, smiling to him and greeting him so casually, and I just hope Harry is sick enough to have no energy to snap at two people today.
Before Harry answers, Lacey speaks with much attitude, "Wait you are actually Harry Styles?"
Grabbing my bag and coffee, I step around the counter and back to Harry, ready to leave. Harry squints to read her name tag and seems to think for a moment before smiling that gorgeous smile of his and pulling me to him, his hand sliding down to reach for my bum. Something is up, I can see the suspiciousness in that grin.
"Yeah, is there a problem?" he's being snarky, but to the person who deserves it. Yet that grin he's holding has me struggling to refrain from laughing.
"Oh my gosh...Uh um, no, there's no problem, but is she..." Lacey starts, pointing at me, but Harry stops her by turning to me and speaking.
"Come on, babe, I've got your shoes and clothes in my car," and I'm surprised when Harry kisses my forehead, then my nose, and finally that spot below my ear, before planting a soft one on my lips, making my legs a little weak at the sudden gesture. He takes my hand and waves at Matthew and Lacey.
"Hate to leave so soon, but I don't want her to be late to class. See you around, yeah?" The fake tone in his voice has me wanting to crack up, and I do exactly so when Harry opens the door to his Range Rover for me.
When he gets in the drivers seat, I turn to him. "You had to give them a little show huh?"
He turns the key, starting the car, and not meeting my eyes, but I see the little smirk on his lips. "Hey, I could have done worse. It's not like I told them how I had you moaning my name last night, though Matthew deserves to hear that one."
I laugh, pushing at his chest. "Being sick changes you! Damn!"
After a moment of silent driving, he speaks. "I know you wanted me to show them, I could sense that she said something to you today, and so she deserved to see that you belong to me. Matthew...well what I saw today was enough reason to remind him," he chuckles.
He's right, about Lacey at least. Matthew...Harry can see what he wants, though I still think he's wrong. Now Lacey knows I'm not a slut, but that I have a loving boyfriend. A loving boyfriend who also happens to be famous, and I bet she's telling Matthew now about who Harry is. If she's jealous, I suppose I don't mind...
"Okay, I do owe you for showing it to her and making her feel like crap, and for saving me from that customer today also, but why did you not stay in bed?!" Now it's time to scold.
"Because I love you," he gives me puppy dog eyes and I giggle. "And waiting in bed for my gorgeous girl is agonizing and awful, especially after last night. I couldn't get it out of my mind, I need you."
"Don't make me all mushy gushy so that I let this slide, you need to stay in bed and take medicine to feel better."
"I need you to feel better."
I sigh at this completely stubborn man next to me, giggling a little. "If you promise to take medicine, admit it that you are actually ill, and stay in bed, I will be there with you after class. We can order take out or something if you aren't feeling up to anything, and cuddle all day. Deal?"
"Deal," he agrees easily...too easily.
"Seriously?"
"Mhmm," he nods, parking in front of the studio. "But, I am not sick."
"You are so stubborn," I shake my head, rubbing my temple dramatically. "What will it take for a man to admit he's wrong?" I love this playful bickering between us, it's my most favorite. I love how last night make nothing awkward, but even better. I love how everything is actually okay.
I can say that I am actually fine, and mean it.
Harry smiles, flashing me his irresistible dimples, as he pulls my bag with dance clothes and shoes in them from the back. "Wear that little leotard for me all day after class, and you've got a chance at me being wrong."
"Deal," I challenge, snatching the bag before giving him a quick kiss to his cheek and getting out of the car.
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A/N
long and adorable chapter! i am in love with this so much omf. thanks again to my cowriter for saving the day and writing such an amazing beginning to this! I had a bad week and she seriously helped me by getting this up and running fantastically.
did you like the twist of Harry being sick? haha! this is not going to be your usual love story guys, life doesn't have constant rainbows and happiness, and you will sooooo see that soon *foreshadowing :)))))* but in the mean time we got cute harry being sick and stubborn, and stubborn flirty harry is my freaking fave to write OMG