Thursday.
It's Thursday.
Officially three days since I last spoke to Harry. I just feel like crying about it. I hadn't seen Harry for four weeks, I should be with him, but instead we're so damn far apart. Well metaphorically, physically he's just a floor below me.
"I still think he's over reacting," Liam adds, almost sassily, into mine and Danielle's initial conversation. Liam decided he wanted to join in.
I needed to get out of my flat for a bit so I decided to visit Danielle and Liam. And now they're both sitting on a lounge across from me, and I sit here feeling like I'm in a counseling session.
I'd been in my room just avoiding Louis for the past couple days because I just couldn't bring myself to talk to him. I was so mad that he's part of the reason why Harry and I are in this situation. I shouldn't be doing this to Louis, I already told him it's okay what he did, but it's more real now, Harry knows. Niall is still clueless as to what's going on. I'm too embarrassed to tell him.
"Alright then Liam, what would you do if I kissed another man?" Danielle questions him with an eyebrow raised and crossed arms. She's giving him a mere cocky glare. I have to hold back my chuckle.
"Well I would," he replies confidently with a straight back and his head held high. Then he pauses, merely going stiff as he thinks to himself. "Um," a frown falls upon his face as he looks around the room, just avoiding Danielle's eyes. "Ok maybe he's not over reacting that much."
I grunt. Damn I thought Liam would stay on my side of this argument. "Three days Liam. He hasn't spoken to me in three days," I repeat, trying to get my point across.
"I think it's more the fact that you did it behind his back Via. I know you didn't mean to do it but you can't blame him for thinking otherwise. When your heart is in someone else's hands, it's just that little bit harder to forgive," Danielle tries to make up for Harry's behaviour. "Try talk to him today. I think it's good you've given him some space to think, you haven't pestered him or anything," she nods her head encouragingly.
"Have either of you two spoken to him since he's been back?" I avert my gaze between the two of them as I ask.
"Nope. I think he's secluding himself a little bit from everyone," Danielle replies. I look to Liam, he's looking at his hands, picking at his nails while not saying a word.
"Liam. What about you?" I coax him on cautiously.
"Uhh yea just a bit." The little shit still won't look at me. Trying to play all innocent.
"Well?" Danielle and I ask him in sync with our questioning eyes. She seems just as curious as me.
"He was just asking for some advice that's all," he looks to Danielle, but not to me. He abruptly stands from his seat and walks over to the kitchen. "Anyone want a cup of tea? A coffee?" He's quick to change the subject while he grabs three mugs from the cabinet.
I stand and follow him in, standing vertical to him, the kitchen counter between us. I'm nervous now as to what Harry would be asking him.
"Liam, what was he asking you?" I sound like I'm asking a question to a three year old, making myself sound as clear as day with a slow pace.
He looks me dead in the eye with an apologetic look. "I can't tell you that Via, he's my best mate. But," he pauses and slants his lips in thought. "I'd listen to Danielle, give it ago having a chat with him today. He's definitely had a lot of time to calm down about it," he drops his stare and just shuffles the mugs around, pretending to be occupied again.
I don't even reply to Liam, because before I'm fully aware of it, I have multiple tears streaming down my face. I quickly rub them away with my fingers once I realise.
It's all because I was thinking about Harry moving to England, potentially because of my mistake. I have to stop thinking about that, he hasn't even officially said he'll move.
Liam walks around the kitchen counter that was separating us, and engulfs me in one of his comforting hugs. He's like a tall teddy bear, well a little more thinner and firmer but he's just all soft and cuddly.
"What if he moves Liam? Especially because of my fuck up. I will rarely see him," I begin to lightly sob into his chest.
"Me too Via." Throughout this all, I kind of forgot that there are still other people that care about Harry as much as I do. I was just selfishly thinking of myself and how I'd feel, when his best mates would probably miss him just as much, well almost just as much.
After about a minute I pull away. Liam's grey shirt now incredibly wet with a patch of my tears, and to my surprise, Liam has a faint wet line down his cheek.
Harry and himself are very close, they always seem to be each other's go to support when it's about male things, or even just some things that they need to talk to a friend about.
Danielle is standing near us with a sympathetic smile and a new shirt for Liam in hand.
"Sorry about that Liam," I shrug in a thankful manner. He quickly wipes away the tear that's still lingering on his cheek and smiles in reply.
"You better now after a good cry?" Danielle asks in a caring manner as she walks over to give me a quick hug. I feel so pathetic right now. Crying over something that hasn't even happened yet.
"Little bit," I chuckle at myself.
I stay at their house until it's six o'clock, knowing Niall would be home soon. I should probably tell him what's going, after all he's been there through all of my shit so he may as well be here for this.
After Liam dropped me home, I almost wanted to ring him up and get him to pick me up again to take me back to theirs. They helped me get my mind away from this annoying reality for a while.
"Hey Via," Louis greets as I walk through the front door. Through his tone of voice I could tell he was hesitant in greeting me.
"Hi Louis," I quickly respond. I need to try stop being mad at him. He was probably just as mind numb as I was on the night he kissed me.
I close the door behind me and place my handbag on a stool near the door, I don't even know why that's there to be honest. No one ever sits on it.
I stroll over to the lounge and flop myself down next to Louis as he plays on the PS3.
"What are you playing?" I try to spark up conversation.
Keys rattle at the front door, and soon after it opens abruptly with Niall entering behind it. Not giving Louis a chance to reply. "Via why didn't you tell that you and Harry aren't talking? Well aren't on good terms in general?" He asks ever-so-casually as he closes the front door behind him. How does he know?
"What?" Is all I manage to fumble out as I sit myself up. Now on the edge of my seat. Louis pauses his game and looks between Niall and I.
"Harry isn't talking to you?" He frowns concerned. "Is this because of what happened?" Louis decides to flower me with questions too. Oh how lovely of him.
"Yea Molly messaged me about it thinking I already knew," Niall enlightens me. I had to tell Molly about it because I knew she'd understand where I was coming from with the whole thing of Harry over reacting, but now I think I'm starting to disagree with myself.
I let out a huff and flop myself onto the back of the lounge, resting my head so I'm now looking at the roof.
"I'm just going to get to the point," I declare. I sit up again and look at both of their quizzical expressions. "Niall, I was having a mental break down about the whole Zayn thing and long story short, while Louis was comforting me, we kissed." Niall's face is suddenly filled with utter shock. "We both regret it immensely. On Monday I told Harry about it," I turn to Louis as this part is also new information for him. "He flipped out a little bit and once again, long story short, he hasn't bothered speaking to me since. I haven't spoken to him either because I want to give him space. But I may talk to him tonight about it."
"I'm so sorry Via," Louis pleas with a guilty expression. I just give him a smile and a light shrug. Nothing much he can do about it now.
Niall doesn't say anything, he just opens the front door and stands beside it, guiding me with hand motions to go through it.
"What are you doing?" I frown confused at him.
"I'm motioning for you to go to Harry's flat now and talk to him. Now go-go-go." Gosh he's eager.
"Why are you so persistent?" I laugh.
"I don't want you two on bad terms. You guys are like the," he pauses, then leans on the door frame in temporary thought. "I can't think of the word but you both make everyone happy and shit so go be happy with him again!" He babbles as he points to the corridor.
I smile lightly at Niall's attitude. He doesn't really seem too phased by the news anymore. Molly probably already told him but he wanted to see if I'd actually tell him the truth. I reluctantly stand up and head towards the door. I may as well go now.