Rachel's POV
"Just put it on, okay?" he presses for probably the fourth time, but I'm only going against him now because it's been getting really fun during this drive.
Harry is forcing some blindfold on me, my first response being that he was going to do something to me, of course his answer being quite sexual with that, and like always, we end up laughing. Since he also seems really desperate to keep my eyes shut, I'm trying to get an idea of where exactly we might be heading to. The weird thing is, he is driving slower than usual, I think buying time for me to put on the blindfold.
We stop at a light and Harry turns to me, handing the blindfold over again and I finally take it.
"Fine, I'll wear it, but you have to promise what you are going to do with me or where you are taking me won't be bad," I warn.
That evil smirk takes over his lips, "Well I could do some naughty things to you at my place with that, but that's not what we are doing...for now."
I loud ugly laugh leaves my lips and I cover my mouth, Harry's dimples appearing at my expense. I wrap the cloth over my eyes, and instantly feel Harry's hand on mine. We intertwine fingers, giving me some sense of relief.
I'm surprised by the shortness of the drive; there's no way we could have left Hampstead so I honestly doubt we're in the main city. I open my mouth to ask where we are as he puts the car on park, but the sound of music and children screaming shuts me up.
"Come on baby, you can take it off now," Harry squeezes my palm, and lets go so I can free my eyes. Once I do, the bright lights from outside illuminate through the windows and I look out to see a ferris wheel, a bit off a roller coaster, many tents, and even a merry-go-round. From the many bodies and children in the lot, it's not hard to guess we are at a fair, and I could not be happier.
"I didn't know they had fairs here!?" I turn to him, bouncing up and down in my seat. This is like my childhood dream come true.
"Yeah, every August. Are you happy with doing this? If not, we can do whatever you want, I don't mind."
I stretch my body over the console and wrap my arms around him. "Are you kidding? I love this! Thank you!" I squeeze him really hard and tuck my face in the crook of his neck. Once I let go, I plant a kiss to his lips, leaving mine to linger on his for a moment.
"I suggest we get out now before I keep you in here all to myself instead," He chuckles as I unwrap myself from him.
I throw my head back in laughter as Harry exits the car and comes to open my door. When he takes my hand to help me out I say, "You can't keep me in the car, there's no fun rides."
"That's where you're wrong baby," Harry wraps his arm around my waist as we walk to the entrance. "I consider myself pretty fun, though not always safe."
After a few seconds I get what he means and swat at him, wanting to laugh at his inappropriate joke but also keep a serious face. He is publicly being goofy and adorable in a really crowded place which makes me happy inside that he doesn't seem to care who could be here watching us, but seeing me laugh like a lunatic is not a pretty sight I want to find on camera. "Gosh Harry, you're something else tonight, aren't you?"
Before he can answer, Harry hands off our tickets and we go in. "Earning a laugh from you is part of my goal this evening, princess, and it seems the naughty things set you off. Twenty-one has changed you."
"Oh hush," I giggle, shoving him over a bit but not too forcefully. Heck, if I even pushed him harder, I'd do no damage. His height and stature still shock me some even to this day, yet he's the most gentle man you'd meet.
I finally take notice of the place when Harry and I stop and look around. It does look like a temporary fair, but better than I imagined any fair. The rides are shiny, and the lights definitely assist the moon in brightening up the night in a beautiful way. I turn around slowly to admire every detail, and I can feel a smile growing on my lips. There are many tents bordering each pathway with different activities and prizes, the smell of foods of all kinds fill the air, and the people add to the excitement. It's everything I actually dreamed it would be. We are lucky that it isn't a busy day considering it's only a Thursday, and I'm hoping that means less pictures going around too. Harry's presence stops me from turning and am once again a little surprised when he wraps his arms around me ever so publicly, and pulls me close.
"You look absolutely beautiful, angel," Harry whispers, and I suddenly feel we've entered our own world.
"And you are the best present I could ask for," I mumble quietly, mostly to myself, so I'm not sure if he heard. As he starts to kiss me, I realize my words are truthful things he already knows.
"So," he pulls away, "what shall we ride—" a sudden wave of screams interrupts him and the rush of the wind signals it's from the rollercoaster. An idea pops into my head and I begin to smile, and he starts shaking his head, returning my smile. "No, no, no...don't you look at me like that, babe. That's not a good idea..."
And I can only feel his worry grow as I practically drag him to the line for the scream provoking ride.
Harry's POV
"Relax Harry, you'll be fine. I'm here with you," she assures me again as the ride makes it's last round before it will be our turn to go on.
Yeah, I've been on rollercoasters before, but I don't like them for the life of me. I'd never go on it if I had a choice, it's the worst ride invented. Yet, here is my Rachel, who's damn scared of me making sexual jokes in public, forcing me to go on this with no fear in her motions at all. This girl is so strange, and I fucking love that she is all mine.
She hugs me, resting her chin to my chest as she speaks, "If you really do not want to ride it, we do not have to."
I look down at her and fall apart just nearly at the sight of her, and those big, blue eyes. I hug her back, "I'm doing this for you, love."
"Thank you, you know that I love you."
Hearing those words makes me more sure of going on this damn thing. "I do, and you know I love you more."
The rollercoaster cart comes back in a flash and people exit the ride looking messed up and dizzy. For a small rollercoaster in a village fair, it sure looks mightier than it should.
Hand in hand, she leads me to the cart and we sit down in the third row, the middle one, and only a few more people get on with us. We buckle up and I can't help but shake my head.
What the hell am I doing?
"Are you sure you want to do this? We don't have to," my girl checks with me once more, and I get reminded how caring and selfless she really is, which is why I am doing this for her.
"I'll be fine, I promise," I look at her and take her hand, dead ass serious on holding it this whole ride.
"I never would have thought you were afraid of them."
"I am definitely not," I tell her. It is not a fear, of course not.
"Oh yeah? Your hand is shaking," That devilishly cute smirk of hers...
"I am not," I correct her. "My hand is simply in an awkward position. It's only pure dislike, baby."
"Dislike or hatred?"
"Hate is a strong word, now love—" Suddenly the cart jerks and so does my body as we begin to move up the hill.
"You sure about that Harry?" Rach teases as we near the top.
"Hell no," I laugh and shake my head. Her little hand that squeezes mine and laugh from my response are both my reassurance of why I'm doing this in the fucking first place.
We stop at the top, of course to make the suspense even worse, and I catch her looking at me.
"What is it, love?"
She ponders for a moment, looking like she's debating whether she should tell me or not. Her lips part to speak but then the stupid ride moves and we are coursing down the damn hill.
I close my eyes and clench the bar that has me strapped in. "I hate rollercoasters!" I yell over everyone's screams as we rush down. Then it starts to turn really sharp, shitty turns.
"Ah! Oh my gosh! Harry don't let—AH! Don't let go of me!" Rachel shouts as the ride turns one more turn and leads us up and down on little hill faster than it should. I squeeze my hand, nearly having forgotten she was still holding it in the first place. I try to keep my focus on holding her hand to distract me from this awful thing.
"Fuck!" I yell when it leads us up a steeper hill.
The rest of the ride is filled with cuss words stringing out of my mouth left and right, Rachel trying hard not to cuss, and ends with us still holding hands.
As soon as I can, I stand up and help Rach up, taking us down the stairs of the ride and back to solid land that I missed more than I could bare in the last five minutes. I look down to her and see her eyes lighten up with amusement and the sweet sound of her laughter rings in my ear.
"What?" I can't contain my smile as I watch her laugh. I love seeing her like this, being the one she shows her crazy side to. Rachel may hate her laugh, but I think that it's the best sound in the world.
"Your hair! Ha! I'm sorry for laughing. Here, let me get it for you, okay?" Rachel stands on her tip toes and runs her fingers through my hair, calming me down in seconds as she caresses me back to looking decent. "I should have given you a rubber band to pick it up," she whispers to herself as she debates which way to comb out my hair, but ends up doing it the way I like instead of the way she does.
"And of course you still look incredible after a damn ride like that. I guess rollercoasters are your thing, huh angel?" I say to her as she stands down and takes my hand as we walk.
"I wouldn't know really, that was my first one. And I doubt I'll know again, that was actual hell."
I stop us, "Your first rollercoaster? Ever? This coming from the woman who dragged me so confidently onto that thing?" How? Rachel never looked anything nervous, hell, she looked like this was something she did everyday.
"Yeah," she replies shyly. "That's what I was about to tell you before we went down the hill made by the devil. Now I get why you're scared and hate them so much. I'm not doing that again."
"I'm not scared!" I laugh to lighten the mood and bring back my crazy girl.
"Sorry, my bad," she giggles. "And screaming 'I hate rollercoasters' is definitely just dislike."
"Now you're getting it," I kiss her forehead and lead us back on our way around to explore, and she laughs again, something I wish to hear always.
For nearly the past forty-five minutes, we've done so much, and I've already learned so much more about her. After what she and I have decided was the rollercoaster from hell, we strolled past some tents, a few people taking notice of us but so far they've just taken some pictures, and this night has gone better than I hoped for. I've played some of the tent games against her, and won them, much to her dismay, but I know she's having a blast. After all, every prize I win I am giving to her. For the last tent they had the game where you have to knock down the bottles by throwing the ball they give you, my girl hit one and was insanely proud, while I got all on the first try. Rachel turned to me, doing the exact same pout and cross of her arms that she did the last couple of tents, and I wrapped my arms around her and pressed her back to my chest.
"Which prize would you like, baby?" I pointed up so she looked at her options. I've already gotten her plenty of stuffed animals that we've had to ask for a bag just to fit them all.
"I don't know, I think you and I have a zoo already," Rachel giggled, that smile where her eyes crinkle, her nose scrunches up a bit and she looks so genuinely happy surfaced, and I lowered my head to kiss her cheek.
"Tell me, love. Which ever you want is yours." I encouraged her, noticing the guy running the tent getting anxious. I'm also got a little on edge because he didn't seem to stop making eye contact with her, which is damn gross considering he's had to be like twice her age.
"How about...that one?" When I saw her finger point up to possibly the biggest teddy bear known to man, I gaped as she laughed.
The man in charge of the tent brought the bear down and she took it from him, his eyes never leaving hers and of course my baby fed into his little infatuation by thanking him. I stayed focused on her to keep me calm and burst out laughing when she hugged it really tight, the sight amusing at the fact the bear was nearly as big as she.
Obviously we couldn't continue holding something as big as that, so I had her come with me to the car. Leaving her by herself is not an option. Some fans obviously know I'm here, and that creep man with staring issues is not something I want to ruin anything tonight. I shoved the bear in there as best as I could, her teasing that it looked as if I was fighting the damn thing having us both in a fit of laughter.
Now as we enter back into the fair, the merry-go-round catches her eye and she drags me there.
"Can we ride this please? I've never been on one before."
"What?!" She's never been on a merry-go-round?
"Pleeeease Harry? I know it's childish but I really want to." Rachel puts her hands together in plea dramatically, mocking her statement of this being childish, and I laugh.
"You can go on it. I want to watch you, and I can hold your bag, okay?" I tell her, taking hold of her bag as she gives me a swift kiss and thank you before running up to the line. She chooses a very frilly horse, waving at me with the biggest smile on her lips and I can't help but laugh at the twenty-one going on fifteen year old beauty in my eyes. I sneak my phone out, ready to capture this moment for her...and for me.
As she goes around and around, I can hear her laughs and squeals, unable to hide my own. Rachel discovers I'm filming and she yells at me, "I don't like being on camera, Harry!" Her hands cover her face and I walk closer to continue my video as she goes around again.
Never did I imagine she would choose to ride this two more times after that.
"H..Harry, I'm dizzy," she wobbles down the ramp to me, grasping onto my arms for support.
"I warned you when you decided to stay on for the second round," I try not to chuckle, but I can't help it. "At least you haven't eaten, which reminds me, when do you want to? We can leave and get food, I'm not sure if fair food is the best for your birthday."
She starts to stand more upright as I take her away from the spinning ride. "I don't need something fancy, we can see what they have." Rachel keeps her arm around mine and we keep walking, but she continues to stumble a bit.
"Here, climb on my back, love," I move in front of her. "I can walk us to the food tent, it's only like ten feet away and I don't need you falling down on me."
"Are you sure?" Her legs latch around my waist and arms around my neck, and I stand up straight, holding her so she stays on. "Harry, I've seen some people, not just girls take pictures of us, you don't have to do this."
I start walking, to prove my point. "Baby, this is our date. I could care less." Plus, I am starting to love her holding me like this, I don't even want to let her go, regardless of the looks we are getting.
As we near the tent she whispers, "You should do this to me more often, this is fun. I feel tall," her lips kiss under my ear and I give her thighs a little squeeze. "Except...your hair is all up in my face," Rachel teases me and I squeeze her harder, a super high pitched squeal coming from her and she tightens her grip on me.
We arrive at the tent and stare at the menu for a few minutes, and much to my surprise she's never eaten a funnel cake, something I assumed was big in America. I let her eat most of it when it's served to us. As we sit at a small wooden table this sweet dessert becomes her birthday dinner.
"Do you want to do something else, or leave?" I ask her, getting up to throw the small plate away.
She rises from the table as well, taking her bag, and we start to walk away from the dining area. "You pick something for us to do, and then we can leave if you'd like. I bet you have some stuff planned or something, don't you?" Her smile shows she knows me too well.
"I do, but I don't have to be the one to pick the next thing baby."
"I've picked everything so far, I want to do something with you, that you choose. Please?"
Knowing she won't leave until I choose something, I look around and see something right near us I know we haven't done yet, and it is also known for being romantic, I think. "The ferris wheel?" I point to our right.
I catch the worry that flashes in her eyes as she stares up at the thing. "I...I mean I guess if you want to."
"Wait. Are you telling me that you're scared of a ferris wheel, but not a rollercoaster?" I know she can hear the surprise in my tone, but I am a bit bewildered at this information. I'm so damn in love with this crazy woman.
"I..well, it's not the height that bothers me, it's the fact that this ride breaks a lot usually, and you can get stuck on it easily..."
I take her hand firmly and step us into the short line. "Rachel, you've been the most loose and confident I have seen you tonight. This ride, which requires literally no fear, is the easiest thing of the night. If we get stuck, we get stuck together, alright baby?"
Rach nods, taking a deep breath when the wheel comes to a stop to let everyone off. When it is finally our turn to get on, I keep her hand in mine and lead her into the private little cart and the door is shut on us, causing her to jump a bit. The man gives us the instructions to not do anything crazy and the warnings before lifting us up to get the last group on.
Rachel is sitting at the opposite side of the bench we are on, staring down at the small space between us and the ground, her body extremely tense.
"Baby?" I reach to her and pull her closer to me. She picks up her feet and rests her head on my chest, an arm of hers wrapped around my waist. The ride begins its slow movements, and she tightens her grip as we go.
"Look Rach, look at the view," I rub my hands gently on her arms to get her attention and she sits up a bit and stares out of the windows of the covered cart. Her eyes open wide in awe of the view and she scoots a little away to see more of it.
"Wow.." I hear her mumble. She would be correct, the moon is mainly our light now as we reach the top, and all the fair lights are below us, making the view of the night absolutely incredible. It is an amazing end to a date, but the thing is, the date isn't even over for us yet.
I look to where she is looking at, seeing the London skyline in the distance. Her gaze doesn't leave the sky, and mine continues on her. I watch her beautiful chaos, and see it slowly slip away completely, swallowed by the sky, and all that she has now is happiness. I place a hand to her shoulder, and she returns to reality, turning back to me.
"Thank you, for tonight Harry. You've definitely tried harder than anyone to give me a special day," I can see the tears forming in those eyes of hers, and the smile she's giving to me is the best part of the night so far.
"Well, your day isn't over yet, princess," I inform her, and I pull her closer. She straddles in my lap instead, wrapping her arms around my neck.
"I don't think I can remember a day when I've had so much excitement, and there's more to come. Thank you Harry, I don't know how much I can possibly thank you. I've always imagined what a fair would be like, this was a dream come true."
I furrow my brows, "What do you—this was your first fair?"
Rachel tilts her head down slightly, "Yeah, my mother and father never took me to the ones that would come to town. This means so much to me."
I can't fathom that she was never taken to a fair, but I am even happier that I am the first one who experienced this with her. It makes sense now, she's never done rollercoasters, merry-go-rounds, tent games, funnel cakes, or ferris wheels, because she was never given the chance.
"I'm happy I took you here then. Seeing you have fun is the most enjoyable thing for me. I remember the first time I did meet you at the club, and I saw you dancing, laughing, and having a blast. I remember when I looked after you when I hurt your foot and we lived together, joking around every night and cleaning up together. I remember the night when I thought: 'Damn, I'm fucking in love with you'. I never thought I'd fall so hard for you." I confess, knowing I'm gonna make us both a little emotional, but this is so true.
Instantly she hugs me, placing her head in the crook of my neck. "I didn't think I could love ever, or deserved it. Heck, I didn't even believe in it anymore until you Harry."
She covers my lips with hers, and kisses me slowly, significantly. I take her pace and kiss the corner of her mouth, her jawline, then move to the favorite spot we share in common, right below her ear. Rachel moves her head the opposite way to give me more room to kiss her, and suddenly the ride stops, and we are still coming down from being completely on top, and Rachel zooms into panic mode.
"Harry? What happened? Why are we stopped?" she begins to ramble, and I keep her on my lap, knowing that staying close to me will keep her sane.
The man working the ride yells to us and the rest of the passengers, "Don't worry, this happens once in a while! I'll get you guys down in about ten minutes!"
"We are going to be fine, baby." I clarify to her, tucking her dark hair behind her ears.
I can tell she knows it too when she nods, but I can also see her fear is present. "I want to get off," she sticks her bottom lip out.
To make light of the situation, I smirk, knowing what I'm about to say will get her. "Wait until we get home, babe. I'll make sure to get you off." She smiles, rolling her eyes at my immaturity as I kiss her forehead.
Like the worker promised, we are on the ground soon enough and walk out to leave, some of the fans that had seen me earlier saying goodbye as I exit, and I bid them goodbye as well, since I've obviously been refusing pictures. As we make it into the car, Rachel takes the smallest stuffed animal from the bag in the car and cuddles it in her arms.
I make her tell me everything she loved about the fair on our way to my—well, to go home, the thrill in her voice and the speed of her words have me giddy that she really enjoyed this so well. When I park at my place, I rush of adrenaline runs through me, excited that I still have presents to give her.
She leaves the stuffed animal in the car and I help her out, taking us in and up to my place. I unlock the door and we step in, getting settled. She finds my wrapped presents for her on the table and automatically thanks me, even though she hasn't even opened them yet.
"Would you like to change first?" I offer, and she nods. We make our way to my bedroom and I change into some sweats and a white t-shirt, grabbing her a cleaner shirt of mine to wear since this one would smell of outside and she looks at me with a grin, signaling she was thinking the same thing. She changes in my bathroom and I wait out on the couch for her to return.
"This shirt is a lot shorter that what I usually wear," I hear from the hallway as she enters the living room. I laugh at the sight of her tugging it down her perfect figure.
"I have so many shirts like that, it's hard to differ it from the smaller ones," I state, something that is quite true. I hand her over a blanket and she plops next to me on the sofa, pulling it over her legs.
I hand her a gift, the gift that I chose to sort of be funny but she can take it however she likes. It's a medium sized flat box, and she does the most adorable thing when taking it from me by shaking it so hear any sounds.
"It's gotta be clothes," my detective deciphers, unwrapping the present the way I imagined earlier today when I was wrapping it that she would: slowly and careful not to rip the paper. I can't take off the stupid grin on my face.
When she finally gets to the red box, she opens it and moves the tissue paper, and I cover my mouth at her reaction.
"What's up with people and getting me freaking lingerie?!" She cracks up, lifting up the piece that I know she remembers seeing at that shop. She remembers it well considering she pretended not to be into it. Looking at her expression now, she recognizes it and she's looking at it the same way she did!
"Wait! Who else is getting you lingerie?" I ask, laughing with her, but also a little intrigued.
"Freaking Hayley! What, all people who's names start with 'H's are inappropriate?!"
I slap my knee, my stomach hurting from laughter. On the inside, I'm glad it was her cousin who got her that, and not someone else. "No baby! We just know you'd look amazing in it."
"Mmhm, and you just had to get me this piece right?" I know I've really made her night as much as she is trying to seem serious, she can't with that grin on her face.
"You practically begged me to when you pointed it out to me," I correct her, and she shakes her head. "What, what did Hayley get you exactly?"
"There has been enough lingerie for one night, Harry," she jokes. "I'll show you later sometime."
"I am holding you to that." I reach over for the next smaller box.
After unwrapping it carefully, she opens to find this gift which I made a lot more meaningful.
"H..Harry, this must have cost you a fortune," Rachel gasps, bringing the necklace up to inspect it. "It has my birthstone on it and everything? Are these real?" Her mouth is open and when I nod, she shakes her head. "Harry..you did not have to spend so much on me, this...this must have been such an expensive necklace. Real diamonds? Harry, you shouldn't have, honestly."
"Look at the back," I tell her. The necklace is not all big, it's circular with a heart of her birthstone in the middle, and diamonds surrounding it. On the back, it had room for small words to be engraved. So I simply put: I live for you, I long for you, my love.
"Oh, my gosh. This is the most beautiful thing I've ever received." My girl looks at me, the tears in her eyes threatening to come out and I take the necklace from her and put it on her. She grabs onto the small circle and presses her fingers against the heart before attacking me with a hug, nearly pinning me down on the couch. "I love you so much."
"I love you. Are you ready for your last present?" I make sure she is wrapped around me and I lift us up from the couch.
"I've been waiting all day."
Rachel's POV
Harry carries me to his room, lying me down gently on his bed. "You look beautiful with my necklace on, wearing just my shirt," he gulps. "You always look incredible, but this..."
My mouth grows dry as I look down and see him straining in his joggers, the energy tonight between us has changed from laughing until we our out of breath to romantic for like the tenth time tonight. He places his knee on the bed and looks me up and down before climbing on top of me.
His lips taste like mint with a hint of sweetness still from the amazing funnel cake we had tonight, and the combination is quite heavenly. Our kisses are soft and somewhat teasing, coming together, then drifting apart, sparks running through my body when his tongue playfully glides over mine. His hand wraps into my hair and I can feel him through the fabric of his pants as he brings his body closer to mine. He lets go of my hair to hold himself off me while he takes off each of our shirts, then touching me. His long fingers run along the undersides of my lace bra, which I'm glad I wore, and he teases my skin as he licks his lips.
"Should we keep this on?" he asks. I couldn't care less, his touch has me mesmerized.
"Off it is then," he unclasps my garment and I arch up my back for him to pull it off and he groans as his crotch presses with mine.
"What do you want to do?" Harry's voice is shaky yet anxious.
"I...I think I'm ready to try something new," I stutter as he pushes my panties aside and starts to please me the way I've grown to love. I grasp onto the sheets, needing something, anything to hold onto as I start to fall into euphoria. I reach between us and reach for his jeans, wanting to make him feel good with my free hand. He groans and I squeeze him gently.
"I think I'm ready," I state, sure of my answer.
"You're sure?" he pants. I can see the uncertainty in those green eyes, even in the dark.
"Yes, I'm sure," I nod. "Don't overthink this."
"I..I love you. You know that, don't you?"
"Yes," I press my lips to his. "I love you, Harry," I say into the kiss.
Harry's fingers don't stop their slow movements as his mouth moves over to my neck. He sucks harshly at the skin, then sliding his tongue over the ache to soothe it. As he repeats this over again, my body feels like its on fire.
"Harry, I'm..." I try to say, and he quickly pulls his hand from me, kissing me as I whimper. Next I know, he is undressing me and kissing down my stomach, and my eyes flutter as he places his mouth where his hand was. Involuntarily, my body lifts up from the bed in pleasure and Harry wraps his arms around my thighs to hold me closer to him. Within seconds my legs start to shake and I'm grasping the sheets tightly as his tongue laps around me.
My toes curl as he begins to whisper things only for us to hear, and I can't even reply due to the state I'm in.
Harry stops again as he lifts himself up from me, "Are you really..."
"Shh..yes, I am sure," I tell him, then I kiss him hard. My hands claw on his back and then pull his boxers below his hips. Both of us moan as we come in contact again.
"Baby..."
"Shh, Harry, please," I beg and kiss him again, reaching down to touch him, His eyes close and he sucks in a sharp breath. I do the one thing I can remember at the moment that he taught me and Harry reaches down and stops me by taking my wrist.
"Rach, I'll lose it if you continue that," he gasps. Suddenly he pulls up and slides off the bed, grabbing a small package from his nightstand, unwrapping it, and putting it on him.
Oh, my gosh. This is really happening.
I know that I should be more nervous, but honestly, all I can feel is my love for him, and his for me. I can't imagine this amazing night ending in any different way. I am finally ready for this, and I've never been more sure.
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A/N
big thanks to my co-writer for writing these parts, it would have been longer but we both agreed that this chapter being nearly 6K words was already too much lol