"It can take years to mold a dream. It takes only a fraction of a second for it to be shattered."
– Mary E. Pearson, The Kiss of Deception
After the funeral Andrea, Shane, T-Dog, Daryl and I got on a truck and went all around the farm to check the fences and to kill walkers if we found them inside or close to the property.
After the funeral Hershel invited us to move in with him and his family. He probably finally realized how dangerous the world had become now.
"It's going to be tight with eighteen people in the house," Rick said.
"Don't worry about that," Hershel told him. "With the swamp hardening, the creek drying up..." "With 50 head of cattle on the property, we might as well be ringing a damn dinner bell," Maggie added.
"She's right," Hershel said."We should have moved you in a while ago."
"All right, let's move the vehicles near each of the doors," Rick told us. "Facing out toward the road. We'll build a lookout in the windmill, another in the barn loft. That should give us sight-lines on both sides of the property. T-Dog, you take the perimeter around the house, keep track of everyone coming and going."
"What about standing guard?" T-Dog asked.
"I need you and Daryl on double duty."
"Gotcha."
"I'll stock the basement with food and water, enough that we can all survive there a few days if needed," Hershel told us as he carried some boxes inside.
"What about patrols?" Andrea asked.
"Let's get this area locked down first after that, Shane will assign shifts while me and Daryl take Randall off-site and cut him loose."
"We're back to that now?" Shane asked, sounding not happy about it.
"It was the right plan first time around," Rick told him. "Poor execution."
"That's a slight understatement."
"You don't agree, but this is what's happening," Rick told Shane."Swallow it – Move on."
"You know that Dale's death and the prisoner, that's two separate things, right?" Shane said. "You wanna take Daryl as your wingman, be my guest."
"Thank you."
"You got it."
We packed all our stuff and put them on the truck so we didn't have to carry everything to the house, we were just walking to the house, following the trunk when Carl approached me, he looked nervous and wouldn't look up at me.
"Hey Cici, can I talk to you?"
"Of course," I told him, putting an arm around his shoulder, stopping in our tracks. "What is it?"
Carl looked behind me, towards the others. He made sure the rest were far enough from us to not hear us and made sure no one was looking at us as well and then took out a gun, I opened my eyes wide in shock and quickly took it from his hands.
"I took it from Daryl's motorcycle," he told me. "If he found out I took it, he'd kill me."
"He won't kill you, Carl," I said, making sure the safe was on. "Why did you take it, though?"
"It's my fault that Dale died. If I had..."
"Carl, why would you say something like that? A walker..."
"I saw that walker," he exclaimed, interrupting me. "I was going to shoot it. He was stuck in the mud. I was – I was throwing rocks at him and stuff. But I was going to do it, shoot it right in the head. And it – it got free, came after me and I ran away. If I had killed it, Dale would still be here."
"No, Carl. You can't blame yourself for that, it wasn't you fault, okay?" I told him, putting both my hands on each of his shoulders and looked him straight in the eye. "But I don't want you to go alone again, if you want to go for a walk and don't want your parents around, tell me and I'll go with you and if you see another walker you must tell us, okay? I won't let anything happen to you."
I wrapped the boy in my arms, he was really shaken up but I think he didn't cry. He hugged me back really tight, like if he was afraid and only I could protect him.
"Thank you," he said as he pulled away. "And please give the gun back to Daryl and if possible don't tell him it was me."
"Carl?" He just nodded to let me know to go on. "Why are you giving me this? Why not tell your parents?"
"Because they wouldn't understand. They freak out easily, you don't. You've calmly listened to me and didn't start shouting at me like they would have had, and I trust you," he told me. "Besides, you and Daryl seem like you are really close, I figured he wouldn't be so mad if you give him his gun back."
"I'm happy you trust me," I said, giving him a small hug again. "You can always trust me, but you should trust your parents as well, if you don't know how to talk to them, I could help you."
"I know," he said with a tiny small. "Thanks."
"Now let's go, we need to move our things into the house and unpack."
The living room and the extra rooms in the house were full, Beth wanted me to stay with her but of course many people didn't like the idea but it was the only place left and we weren't going to do anything stupid, we had gotten over that or at least I was.
I grabbed my things and took them upstairs, Beth was making some room for my stuff, I smiled at her and put my things in a corner. I barely had two trousers and around six shirts so it really wasn't much.
"Thank you," I told her.
"No problem, I love having you around."
After I got all of my stuff settled which didn't take long because I barely had stuff now, I went outside and saw Daryl and Rick, looking at a map and planning where to take Randall.
"Take him out to Senoia, hour there, hour back, give or take," Rick told Daryl. "We may lose the light, but we'll be halfway home by then." I smiled as I heard Rick say the word 'home', a word we hadn't been able to say in weeks.
"This little pain in the ass will be a distant memory," Daryl said. "Good riddance."
"Carol's putting together some provisions for him, enough to last a few days," Rick said. "That thing you did last night..."
"Ain't no reason you should do all the heavy lifting," Daryl told him.
"So are you good with all this?"
"I don't see you and I trading haymakers on the side of the road. Nobody'd win that fight," Daryl said.
I approached them then and they both acknowledged me, they smiled at me and I smiled back at them. I had been thinking about what Carl told me and I wondered what I should do for a long time and I decided I should tell Rick what Carl said earlier. I hoped he will still trust me after this. I took Daryl's gun from the waistband of my jeans and handed it to him, he was going to ask me where I got it from but I spoke, turning to look at Rick.
I was going to tell Daryl I found it on the ground on my way here but I was going to tell Rick the truth and Daryl was going to listen and it was just fair for him to know.
"Uh, Rick, I need to talk to you," I said, getting very nervous.
"Sure, what is it?" Rick asked.
"It's about Carl. He said some things to me today. He was out in the swamps yesterday and he came across a walker, it was stuck in the mud."
"The same walker that killed Dale?"
"Yeah, that's the one." I nodded.
At that moment Shane drove to the house, got out of the car and stayed right in front of us, listening to the conversation. I wasn't feeling uncomfortable with Daryl listening but I was with Shane.
"He said he was going to shoot him," I said, looking from Rick to Daryl. "He took Daryl's gun. But he got scared and ran off, he said the walker got free and tried to attack him. Rick, I think he needs you. I'm flattered he trusts me and feels like he can talk to me but I think he truly wants to talk to you but doesn't know how and I think it would be nice if you could say a few words before you leave."
"That sounds good, Rick," Shane said. "How about I ride out with Daryl? Good for us to spend a little time together."
"Nah, I need you here," Rick said sternly.
"Don't think I'll handle it right, huh?"
"Didn't say that.
"What you say?" Shane exclaimed. "Freeing that prisoner is more important to you than Carl?"
I took a deep breath, this was why I didn't want Shane to be here. I was waiting for Rick to snap but he didn't. Shane left after that, leaving an angry Rick behind.
"I'm sorry," I muttered.
"I'll be right back," he told me and walked away, probably to talk to Carl, leaving Daryl and me alone.
"Hey," I said to him, turning to look down at him, he was sitting on the rail. "Can I ask you a favour?"
"Sure."
"Carl is afraid you are going to kill him, because of your gun, he begged me to not tell you it was him so, can you pretend I didn't tell you?"
"Alright," he said. "If you tell me one thing."
"Okay, what do you want to know?" I asked him.
"I've been wanting to ask you this for a while but never got the chance to ask you. I was just wondering," he said, looking right into my eyes. "How did you learn to shoot so well? I saw you..." He made a little pause. "... that day and you shot almost every walker right in the head. It surprised me."
"I'm full of surprises," I said with a shrug and a little chuckle, pretending it didn't sadden me to think of that day when Shane opened the barn and all hell broke loose.
"As far as I knew you were just an innocent and harmless girl that would never have a gun, so how did you learn?"
I took a deep breath and sat next to him, looking at the woods instead of him. I always tried to hide my gun because I knew people would ask me this and I didn't want to talk about it.
"It's not a big secret how my father treated us but probably some people don't know how bad it was. He sent me to hospital some times, broke some bones, my neck a couple of times, it was bad, you know? And I hated to feel so helpless and I hated him for humiliating me in that way and how I couldn't fight back," I told him, I felt a bit exposed but comfortable, he was the first person to know besides Teresa. "As soon as I moved out I bought a gun, I learnt to shoot and I got into self defence and Taekwondo classes. I was sick of feeling so fragile, so weak, so helpless, I needed to do it."
"I'm sorry," he muttered as I finally looked at him.
"It's okay." I nodded. "He's gone now. He can't hurt us anymore."
"Still, no one deserves to go through that."
"Sophia couldn't understand why I left her and I still feel terrible for that but I couldn't live there anymore and once I got away I just kept my distance and avoided them because deep inside of me I knew that with only a wrong movement or word from him I would just... snap and beat the shit out of him and I wouldn't be able to stop or I would just do it quickly and shoot him, I knew, and I didn't want to carry with that. I didn't want to kill my father, not because I didn't want him gone because that was what I wanted the most but because I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt."
I heard Daryl taking a very deep breath and then felt strong arms wrapping around me, pulling me closer to him. I had never told someone I wanted my father to die, no one. I never told anyone he sent me to the hospital. Teresa knew he was abusive but not that abusive.
"Thanks for listening," I told him, not wanting to let go of him.
"Sorry I asked you, I didn't think you learnt because of him."
"I wouldn't have told you if I didn't want to, I guess it feels good to finally get it out."
I thought Daryl was going to let go of me then but he just tightened his grip on me, so, I rested my head on his shoulder. After a bit he slowly loosened his grip and I raised my head. Somehow, my face ended only inches away from his, I had never seen his eyes so close and I had never had him looking at me from such a short distance, truth was that it was intimidating. As I thought about it, about how close we were, Daryl started leaning in, so slowly, I didn't notice at first. I bit my lip and started closing my eyes, just like Daryl was doing.
"Guys!" we heard T-Dog as he ran to us, making us jerk our heads in his direction and look at him. "Randall, he's missing!"
Daryl and I let go of each other, Daryl and Andrea followed T-Dog to the shed where the boy was supposed to be, while I went to the barn to find Rick after Lori told me where he was. Once I found him I told him the problem and we both ran to the shed.
Soon, the rest of the group joined us. Everyone started asking how that was possible and a lot of other questions. We were all so nervous about the situation, we had no idea how he escaped or where he could be.
"The cuffs are still hooked," Rick said. "He must have slipped them."
"Is that possible?" I asked.
"It is if you've got nothing to lose," Andrea said.
"The door was secured from the outside," Hershel pointed out.
"So he might have escaped from another opening," I said. "Or someone forgot to lock the door and he did put the padlock after he escaped."
"Rick! Rick!" We heard Shane yelling, he was coming from the woods and as he got closer I noticed he was bleeding. "He's armed! He's got my gun!"
"Are you okay?" Carl asked him.
"I'm fine," Shane said. "Little bastard just snuck up on me. He clocked me in the face."
"Alright, Hershel, T-Dog, Oliver, get everybody back in the house!" Rick ordered. "Glenn, Daryl, Sean, come with us."
"I want to go too!" I exclaimed.
"No," Rick, Sean and Daryl exclaimed at the same time, I only gave them all a look.
"I'm a better shot than Sean!" I exclaimed in disbelief, not believing Rick chose him over me.
Rick, who looked really stressed and tensed, just looked at me in a way to tell me that he wasn't in the mood to argue but when he noticed I was determined he walked towards me.
"Cici, I know you can shoot better than him," he whispered to me in an urgent tone. "I know and that's why I need you there. You need to protect your mum, your friends, Carl and the rest of them. Only you and T-Dog can shoot well, they need you more than we do. Please, Cici." Reluctantly I nodded at him but I knew that what he was saying was true, unfortunately.
"Just let him go," my mother said. "That was the plan, wasn't it, to just let him go?"
"The plan was to cut him loose far away from here, not on our front step with a gun," Rick told her.
"Don't go out there. You all know what can happen!" she exclaimed but none of the guys stopped.
"Get everybody back in the house," Rick said, turning his head slightly to look at us but he never stopped walking. "Lock all the doors and stay put."
The rest of us ran to the house, T-Dog locked the door and stayed by the window in case Randall was around.
"I can't believe what that boy did to Shane," Lori commented, breaking the awkward silence.
"Don't you think it's weird, though?" Teresa said. "I mean, how can a boy like him do that to Shane? He was a cop before all of this, I'm just saying it's weird."
I didn't want to say it but I believed the same as Teresa. Shane was a strong and smart guy, they could have gotten into a fight but I really didn't believe Randall being able to do so much damage. Something was off.
It started to get dark and we were all getting more nervous and uneasy about all of this. Not only Randall was out there with a gun but it might be possible that walkers were in the woods.
I couldn't take it anymore, so I excused myself, I went to the kitchen to drink some water and afterwards I was going to lie down for a bit but I saw the back door of the house opened, I stepped outside and saw a small figure running away.
"Shit," I muttered.
I closed the door and ran after the boy as fast as I could. We were already in the woods when I caught up with him.
"What are you doing?" I shouted, trying hard to keep my voice low because of the walkers or Randall but failing.
"You scared the crap..."
"Carl!" I said quickly. "What did I tell you today? I told you I didn't want you wandering around alone, especially at night! What the hell were you thinking!?"
"Please, I need to go, I've got a bad feeling about this! Please!"
"I thought I told you today that you could trust me, you could tell me anything!"
"I thought you wouldn't support this and you were with everyone else, I couldn't talk with you without making my mum suspect something. Please, Cici, I need to do this. I won't go back to the house without my dad."
"I swear you are going to get me murdered by your parents," I said with a big sigh. "If we don't find them in twenty minutes, we are going back, understand?"
"Okay," he muttered.
I held my gun tight in my left hand as Carl and I jogged through the woods. We hadn't found any of the guys and luckily we hadn't run into a walker or Randall but that didn't mean we didn't have to be careful.
"Carl, I think we should go back."
"Come on!" Carl said, grabbing my free hand and pulling me with him in the direction we were going. He wasn't going to give up. What was I gotten myself into?
We got to the end of the woods, to a meadow. The moon was full and bright above us, making everything a bit clearer and lighter, I gasped when I saw two dark figures in the distance, one was pointing his gun at the other. At first I didn't recognize them but I heard Rick's voice and then it clicked. The other person was Shane.
I wanted to go there and help Rick but my priority was Carl, who started to run towards them. I ran after him and caught him, stopping him from getting any closer to them. Luckily they hadn't seen or heard us.
"But my dad!"
"You can get hurt!" I exclaimed. "If you promise me you'll...!"
I was interrupted by the sound of a gunshot. I jumped and put Carl behind me, anyone could have gotten hurt and if it was Rick then Shane could come for us and kill us because we witnessed it. Luckily, Rick was okay. We heard his cries and his screams as he mourned his best friend. He stood up and kept looking at Shane while I tried to calm Carl down. But he didn't, instead he took the gun from my hand and ran away from me.
"Carl!" I shouted and ran after him and that's when Rick finally acknowledged our presence. He turned to look at us in shock, and slowly took a few steps towards us.
"Carl," he said, the boy had tears in his eyes and I wanted to take the gun from him but I didn't want to make a mistake. "You know, you should be back home with mum, the two of you."
By now Rick was only a few steps away from us. I was about to take my gun from Carl's grip when he raised his hands in a very fast motion and pointed it at his father.
"Just – just put the – put the gun down." Rick said.
"Come on, Carl, you don't want to do this," I said, kneeling next to him but I didn't dare to touch him or get that close to him. "Carl!"
"It's not what it seems," Rick said. "Please!"
At that moment I saw a small flash and heard the gunshot. I instantly turned to look at Rick, I heard a body falling to the ground but he was still on his feet. I stood up and embraced Carl as soon as his hand dropped to his side and when I could I took the gun from him.
The only other person there was Shane. Rick quickly approached him and we followed him, he told us to wait but of course, we didn't listen and stood right next to Shane's body. He was a walker and if Carl hadn't shot him he would have bit Rick.
"Come on," Rick said, putting an arm around Carl and another around me and the three of us starting walking back to the house.
"Was – was he bit?" I asked Rick.
"Were you bit too?" Carl asked quickly.
"No," Rick said, tensing a bit.
"Shane was," Carl said.
"That wasn't Shane. You know that."
"So, what happened?" I asked.
"Were you guys attacked?" Carl added. "We heard the shotgun but we didn't see walkers. Dad, how did Shane die?"
Rick dropped his hand that was on my shoulder and turned his body to face Carl. I turned around and instantly my blood went cold. I opened my mouth but no sound was coming out, I wanted to scream but that would be a bad idea, instead I pulled at Rick's jacket. He turned to look at me and still I couldn't say anything out of shock, so instead I just pointed in front of me. Rick looked at where I was pointing and immediately I could see how his expression change.
"Oh my God," he muttered in a very low tone, putting his hands on our backs and pushing us in the other direction. "Go, go, go, go, go!"
We started running as quietly as we could, we saw a few walkers on our way back but we just avoided them. We didn't kill them, we didn't have time. We stopped right next to a tree that was close to the barn. Trying to think of a way to not get ambushed.
"We – we gotta get to the house, tell the others," Carl whispered.
"We'll never get through that, can't go around," Rick said. "Carl, Cecilia, stay close."
The three of us started running again, some walkers tried to get us but we just moved out of the way quickly,we kept going to the barn without stopping once. Carl and I ran in first, followed by Rick who closed the doors.
We grabbed some containers with gasoline and started to pour it down on the ground. Rick got the idea to burn the barn so we could kill a few and attract others so we could maybe have a chance to escape.
"Alright," Rick said, throwing the container. "Go up there!"
"What about you?" Carl asked him.
"I'll be right there," he told him, handing him a lighter. "Drop the lighter when I say. We'll stop some of them from reaching the house and distract the others, so at least we'll have a chance. Hey, you can do this. Carl, I love you. I love you too Cici, now go!"
Carl and I hurried to go up, while Rick ran to the doors, he yelled and kicked at them to get the attention of as many walkers as possible.
"You want some?! Come and get it!" he shouted as he opened the door. "Come on! Come on!"
It was hard to tell but in just seconds there were about fifty walkers inside the barn, it was crazy. Rick kept yelling at them, even after he went up the ladder.
"Carl, now!" Rick shouted when he was already at the top.
Carl did as he was told, once the lighter was ready he let it drop and instantly the barn started to burn. It was a bit disturbing to see all those walkers getting burned and all they cared about was eating us, there was nothing else in their minds.
We got out through a little opening and about a couple of minutes later we saw Jimmy driving the RV towards us. He stopped the RV almost in front of us and we jumped to the RV's ceiling, we went down the little ladder that was at the back of RV. Rick and I shot about fifteen that were crowding around us before we could run somewhere else.
We were lucky to escape the barn but unfortunately Jimmy wasn't so lucky. He was being eaten alive inside the RV but we couldn't do anything to help him, we just ran.
For a long time I saw nothing but walkers, it was crazy. But then I heard someone screaming, I stopped but Rick and Carl didn't at first.
"Cici!" Carl shouted.
"You guys go! I'll go after you! Just go now!" I screamed and ran in the other direction as they shouted my name but I kept running.
As I got closer to the house I recognized the screams, Patricia. There were about twenty walkers gathered together and I assumed Patricia was there. I kept running to see Lori with Beth and a few feet away I saw my mother, who was being cornered by two walkers.
"Mum!" I yelled and ran after her, my gun in hand.
I stopped to have a good aim and shot one of the walkers, I was going to shoot the other when I saw someone had just shot it. Andrea was right beside me.
My mother screamed at the top of her lungs, Andrea and I turned around to see two walkers almost on top of us. I shot one and it fell on top of me. I pushed him to the side and saw Andrea on the floor as well.
"Are you alright? Did it bit you?" I asked her as I pushed the walker off of her.
"No, what about you?"
"No, I'm fine."
I turned around to see my mother was no longer there. I could only see dozens and dozens around us. Andrea grabbed my hand and pulled me with her.
In the distance we saw Rick, Carl, and Hershel getting into a red car, we ran to them, screamed, waved at them but they didn't see us, they just left us there.
I stared in disbelief at that last car driving away from us. They had all left, we didn't have a chance to survive anymore. I felt hot tears in my eyes as I fell down on my knees, knowing that I would die soon and as I did, I actually regretted not killing myself when I had the chance. It would have been so peaceful and I wouldn't be eaten alive.
But it wasn't too late for that, I had my silver-coloured gun right in my hand, it would only take a second or two and BAM everything would be over, good-bye world.
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Guys, I have a question. When the prison is attacked and if I decide to separate Daryl and Cecilia (not sure if I'm going to do that yet) should I write in both their POV's or just Cecilia's?
Also, I was thinking of keeping Mika alive? Or maybe even Meghan (Tara's niece), what do you think of that? Should I keep one of them alive, and if so, who? Or the two of them?
**Please comment, voye & fan!! **