I M S H A D
" Darling... Please eat something... You barley eat any thing these days.... " My mother was standing near my bed with a orange juice, pleading . I did what I've been doing all these days. I turned my back to her.
Many things happened after I came from the hospital that day. That unforgettable day. But I still had a small hope that maybe she might be still loving me. I didn't call her the past two weeks because I didn't want to get killed by her brother again.
As a matter of fact , I came back to my parents house after selling the apartment. I couldn't stay at the same town where she lives without those memories haunting me. But moving back didn't make any different either. I moved my body away from her, but my heart and thoughts didn't . these days I could really passed out as a beggar with my disheveled hair and my pale look. I raely spoke with my mum or sister . but most of all I was angry with my self. For the way I behaved with Jasmine that day. For still feeling confused about my love.
" Imsahad.... You need some fresh air. Just get out side. You look really unhealthy. You don't have to talk with me. But please don't ruin your self ...."
I gritted my teeth . why can't she leave me for a moment? After what she did? Looks like she and my sister has set out a routine to bother me. I looked at her.
" Mom , please just leave me alone. I'm not in a mood for a walk."
" But Imshad....... I..."
" I said leave me ALONE MOM!! How many times I have to tell you this? " I yelled at her which made her flinch . without another word , she left the room sobbing to herself. I felt like a total jerk. This was the first time I've screamed at my mom .
whats wrong with me?? I asked myself. I felt like my whole life is messed up.
And in a few days I'm suppose to meet with one of my fathers Important client. He was funding on of our major project . we couldn't afford to lose him. Since my dad is out of country , he wanted me to meet this person. But how could I do it in the way I'm in right now ? I know mum must have not told anything about this to my dad. Knowing him, I know he will leave everything and come back. So I couldn't risk asking advice from him either. I didn't trust any of my friends with this matter too.
What happen to that charming guy ?? I didn't even had a emotional breakdown like this when jasmine left the country.......... Jasmine.... Oh my God ..... The way I treated the last time i saw her......
******Flasheback *******
One week ago
" Imshad..... What's happening to you?? Why are you acting like this. Is this Anisa girl worth this much than your health ? "
I glared at her in disbelief. " now how the hell you got to know about Anisa? "
" I know you enough about you to know that some thing is bothering you. And we have known each other since we were kids. So I know that you are distressed. But ....... ". She paused with a uneasy glance at my mum.
I sneered at her " well it was my mother who told you wasn't it ? or it was my sister ? "
" thats not the point here imshad ! Why can't you see the pain you are putting them through??? I'm ready to forgive you anytime Imshad. Please , let's open a new chapter in our life. "
" Will you shut up ? why would i need your forgiveness ? you left me two years ago when i begged you not to leave. just like the way you are begging from me now . You was the reason for my misery Jasmine. I wish you remain in that stupid place and never came back here. So please leave."
Jasmine flinched. " but Imshad...... "
"Are you deaf Jasmine ? , DAMN IT , I SAID YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE ! "
Jasmine stared at me for a moment . there were tears in her eyes. but i didn't care . all i want was her to leave. then she left without another word.
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"Aunty ...... " a loud yet disturbingly familiar voice reach to my eras , breaking my thought bubble. I was shocked . I never expected her to come back. I heard my mom greeting her with a surprised tone. Her voice was enough to make me feel a lot guilty about the way I acted with her. I know I should apologoise her.
I quickly got out from my bed and opened the door and saw mom and jasmine were talking in a hushed voice. Mom was wiping her eyes while Jasmine was speaking to her in a soothing voice. When They heard me approaching them my mother quickly looked down while Jasmine looked at me with a nervous expression like she thought I will start screaming at her again. And the way she was staring made me feel even more guilty.
" I just came to meet you mom Imshad....."
I interrupt her. " I'm sorry about the way I behave in front of you the last time we met . i was a total jerk. sorry"
'' oh its.... it's ok Imshad. i'm the one to be blamed. i should have understand about your situation more before i spoke on that day''. i know it must be really hard for you to forget Anisa ....''
when she said the name Anisa , her voice quivered . i couldn't help but to feel sorry about her as well as being sorry about my self. she came back to see me , after i treated her like crap. as a matter of fact , i know i would never come back if i was placed in a similar situation .
'' so now what? ....'' i asked them to break the awkward silent that fell upon us.
Jasmine replied me with a mysterious glint in her eyes. " well Imshad , I think i know what to do "
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Assalaamu aleikum everyone. What do you'll think if this chap ? Don't forget to vote and shear your lovely ideas about this chap. Have a nice day
.. :) :) this is the first time I'm writing a flash back :p... So I hope it was ok...