Tell me, how is someone supposed to respond to the impossible? People everywhere try to convince each other that nothing is impossible, and perhaps they are right, but that doesn't make the most craziest of situations seem any less crazy.
When the nurse told me I had a visitor, I assumed it was going to be some "friend" that claimed to care about me, but most likely never talked to me unless they needed something. When the crowd went a little wild in the lobby, I assumed some celebrity was checking in to visit their friend...I never guessed that friend would be me.
Time slowed down dramatically the moment I heard Billie's voice. What was I supposed to make of it? If anything, it scared me. Was I hallucinating again? I thought the confusion was over once I found out the truth. In all actuality, hearing Billie's voice could have meant some really terrible things about my condition.
But if that is the case, then someone tell me why I am so extremely happy?
My eyes were flooding with tears as if they were trying to escape their domain. As much as I wanted to speak, the words just wouldn't come out. Stuttering nonsense drabbled from my mouth in attempt for me to create sentences. He giggled in response.
"Layla, you know me. We've done this many times before." The funny thing about all of this was he was crying too. Of course he was somehow able to control it, a few tears here and there...on the other hand, I was a mess.
His green crystalized eyes widened in wonder. Slowly his hand made its way to entangle his soft fingers in my hair, smiling wide all the while.
"You're even more beautiful in person," he speaks softly. Gently he bends down by my ear and whispers, "I didn't know that was possible."
At that moment, I knew I couldn't sit still any longer. My sobs grew louder and a tad wilder as I threw my arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder.
"B-Billie!!" I wept. He rubbed my back in attempt to comfort me.
"It's okay," he chuckled through his own cries. "Everything is okay now."
After holding me a bit longer, he released me in order to look me in the eyes.
"Didn't I tell you it would be?"
Words just couldn't describe the emotions that fell upon me. It was a feeling so drastic that I was sure I couldn't feel it again. It was greater than love and much more intense than a happy surprise. It was redemption of the impossible, and I loved it.
"I know you're surprised, and let me tell you, I am too. But please, try and talk to me. I promise I'm no different than the person you have learned to love these past two weeks. It's me."
"But—But how?" I managed to spill. "How could this be possible?"
"I wish I could tell you myself," he sniffled. "I didn't really have time to plan, I sorta just trusted my instincts with this one," he grinned.
Looking at him slowly thawed my cold heart a little more by the second. It was one of the greatest reliefs that could bestow upon me. It was literally a dream come true.
"Billie," I sighed in relief. "I was in a coma too."
Billie's eyes widened in suspense.
"When I woke up from my coma, I heard on the television that you had awoken from yours too. Obviously, since I'm not famous or anything, you couldn't have known the same for me. Heck, you couldn't have been sure I even existed, could you?"
As hard as I tried, I couldn't read the expression of Billie's face. It was rather blank, as if my mind shut his facial appearance off so it could focus on all of the thoughts racing in his mind.
"I didn't know if you existed, correct," Billie acknowledged without looking at me. "I just knew that, in my dream, when I flew to Boston to find you, it just felt like the right thing to do, yah know? And, I didn't have any reasoning for anything, yah know? Besides the fact that I..." he finally gazed into my eyes. "Had to find you. I just had to."
My smile grew with each word he spoke. All of that depression that soaked into me within the past week was flying away faster than I could have imagined. Things just seemed fixed.
"You have no idea how badly I needed you in my life," I decide to reveal. "When I woke up from my coma, I fell into depression. It sounds stupid, but, everything I thought I knew was a lie. And every ounce of love that I put into you, had turned out to be an exchange in my imagination. It killed me in every way possible."
Billie grabbed my hand and squeezed it to assure me of his presence.
"I'm here now. And I'm not leaving any time soon."
"Billie...what happened to you and your family?" I turned my head to gaze out the window. "I heard some things on the news, but the updates were minimal and short."
He sighed in doubt but proceeded to tell me.
"They tell me I got into a motorcycle accident, but I don't remember that to be honest. My body wasn't hurt badly, thankfully, but there was a lot of head trauma. My brain had to heal, so it locked me out and threw me in a coma, I guess. I don't remember a bit of it, just waking up in Boston...that was the first memory of the recent situation. When I supposedly woke up, I was pretty messed up, considering the realization that everything we went through wasn't real. I didn't tell anyone about it, in attempts to push it out of my mind, but I guess it just made me a shitier person. My family kept calling me out on my fucked behavior, and the guilt is what caused me to tell my story. After releasing it all, I realized I just had to know for sure. So I got Mike and Tre to help me run off to Boston. Using all of my memories of how I had done it in my dream, I was able to meet you here and now."
My state of shock was disintegrating, thankfully, and it began to feel natural again to talk to Billie. He was, anyways, the only person I craved to talk to these past three weeks.
"What happened to you, Layla?" He reached out to grab my other hand and squeezed both of them. "Let's not forget that I have no idea what has happened to you."
"It's kinda a sickening story, I doubt you want to hear it."
He cleared his throat in worry.
"I need to know what happened to my princess," he forced a smile.
I nodded my head in assent, smiling all the while at his sweet words. Slowly I released the grip on his hands.
"You remember how we met in Boston? And how I was supposed to meet up with my friends a little later on?"
"Yes."
"Well, we were supposed to go to a party. I guess the funny thing is, this all actually happened in reality way before I met you. We had went to that party, and I met this guy."
I could see Billie cringe a bit at the statement. Guys, parties and comas...we know the ending is fucked, so he could only imagine the shit he would have to hear.
"My friends and I got hammered at this party, drink after drink after drink. It pisses me off thinking about it, I was never that type of person. But, that doesn't change things, does it? Well this douchebag invited me over to his apartment, and for some reason I went with him."
"What the fuck were you thinking, Layla?!" He interrupted aggressively.
"What the fuck were you thinking when you got into a motorcycle accident?" I retort matter-a-factly.
"Layla, come on! Like I wanted to pound my head in and tear up my bike."
"Billie, I'm not going to argue with you," I laugh with realization. "It's in the past, let me tell my story, okay?"
"Fine," he huffed. "It's just...I know where this is going and it's pissing me off. It's my father mode...it's my I-care-about-you mode, sorry."
I nodded in acceptance.
"I wish I hadn't gone, but I wasn't in the right state of mind, and neither were my friends, so they let me go too." Billie mumbled under his breath. "So, this guy...oh my God, guess his name! Just give his name a fucking guess!" I interrupted myself.
"Uhh....Nick?"
"David!"
"THAT SON OF A BITCH WHY I OUGHTTA—"
"Yeah, tell me about it!" I spat with drama. Felt like I was on a telenovela to be honest.
"Well anyways, on top of giving me more drinks, he got me to try some drugs, apparently. Started off with some weed probably, but it didn't end that way. He got me to try acid, coke, and heroin, all in one sitting."
Billie stayed quiet, but his body was raging. Tears were streaming down his cheek as his face grew red.
"I had a seizure in front of him, and fell knocked out, cold. The dude was also drugged up, so he thought I died, throwing me out on the street. I was out there for a few hours, when my friends found me. My pulse was so low that they thought I died too, so they called the ambulance. It was an extreme drug overdose that took two weeks of a coma until I was flushed out, I guess."
Billie shook his head in shame, disgusted by every word.
"You know what's funny?" I continue. "You know how I woke up into the real world? It was by David injecting me! And the last thing you remember before waking up—"
"Was because of getting my head pounded," he finished my sentence. "So weird."
"We were connected through our unconscious minds, somehow."
"I wish we had the answers for that..."
Suddenly the door slammed shut and a voice revealed itself from the room.
"A very wise person once told me..."
Billie and I looked to the door, and I smiled upon seeing Dr. Mahoney standing before us.
"That we think knowing the answers can make us happy, but when we find what we're looking for, we realize darkness is just as prevalent as light."
"Jason!" I grinned widely before scooching to the side of my bed to meet him for a hug.
"Jason?" Billie questioned. "He looks like a doctor to me..." he mumbled defensively.
"Dr. Jason Mahoney," the doc introduced himself with a handshake.
"Billie-"
"Joe Armstrong, it's a pleasure to meet you, sir. You've got a big fan here," he smirks while nudging me. "I don't want to sound too typical, but I knew you would come."
"You did?" Billie exchanged glances with me out of confusion. "How?"
"Miracles don't have to be unpredictable in order to happen. They just need hope and belief. With that, your appearance here is no surprise."
Billie snickered. "I see."
"Layla," Jason turned to me. "Did you tell your friend here your story?"
I kept my focus on the doc, but I eyed Billie in the background, whose arms were crossed and appeared rather jealous of my good friendship with Jason.
"Yes! And he told me his! They fit like puzzle pieces."
"Astonishing!" Jason reacted.
"So, uh, doc," Billie began. "Have you been taking good care of my friend here?"
"Oh of course!" Jason grinned at me. "She's been wonderful. We've spent a lot of time together, haven't we?"
I nodded happily. Maybe I was still a little fucked up in the head, but I could sense a little a friendly competition between trying to gain my attention. Both middle aged men here were entirely handsome and sweet, but only one of them have truly captured my heart.
"You two are the best!" I somehow was able to get the two of them give me a hug at the same time. YES! I WIN!
They giggled at my glee and succumbed to it. After a few moments to unwind in the bliss, Jason took a seat at the edge of my bed, and insisted that Billie and I sit down as well.
"I don't have all the answers, or any at that," Jason began slowly. "But if you have any questions that are still prodding your mind, I would love to help in attempt to make sense of these clouded thoughts."
I looked over at Billie who seemed as clueless as I. We knocked out most of our questions together, and knowing the truth behind it all was the biggest one that was answered.
"How could it scientifically be possible for our minds to mend like that?"
"Scientifically there are no answers for that, not with our studies at least."
"Well, that doesn't really help."
I cleared my throat as a way to notify Billie of his low-key rudeness.
"Let him finish," I speak.
"But I'd like to tell you what I think."
Billie shrugged, leaving me to react with a sigh.
"It appears, based off of what you two have experienced, you may have fallen into comas at the very exact moment in time. I'm not sure about you two, but I believe in miracles. I believe there is more to this world than what we see. I believe in soul mates, but I also believe that we don't always meet them. I feel that you two were always meant to be connected in some way or another, but it wasn't until something spectacular like this happened until the bond took place. You two were meant to be together at some point in time, and this is it. It's wonderful to be here to see it."
Billie and I stared into each other's eyes for the duration of his explanation. The longer we gazed at each other, the more joy I felt. The comfort just exploded in me. I...I wanted to be with him forever.
"Where do we go from here?" Billie asked after a few moments of silence.
"What do you mean?" Jason replied.
"I...I just..." Billie began to choke on his words, breaking his gaze all the while. He stood up slowly, not knowing how to continue this thoughts.
"I'll be right back," his head drooped towards the ground as he began to make his way out.
Quickly I stood on two feet in attempt to chase him.
"Wait!!" I called out.
He stopped in place without looking back.
"Please don't leave me...please don't go..." I pleaded with emotion.
"I'll...I'll be right back, Layla," he assured.
He opened the door and let himself out. I started sniffling at his exist. Please come back. Please do.
"Don't cry, Layla, he's coming back, I know it."
"What's going on?" I whimpered. "Why did he look so sad?"
Jason sighed, peering at the door.
"It's because he loves you," he finally released.
"So he should be happy! I love him too!" I beamed.
"No, he's not upset because he loves you. He's upset because this can't change things in his life."
My eyes continued to water as I looked up at Jason.
"Huh?"
Jason couldn't look me in the eye.
"He loves you, but he can't be with you. He knows that. He has to be with his family. He loves you, but he loves his wife and his kids. He can't stay with you. You may be soul mates or whatever of what you are, but that doesn't mean things can change."
My heart grew heavy with realization.
"He's sad because he can't be with me?"
"Yes, Layla."
Frustration over came me.
"But he said he'd never leave me!"
"I'm sorry, Layla. That doesn't change things."
I hung my head low in disappointment.
"Isn't it sad, that...that you are only allowed to love one person in this world?"
"No, Layla. You can love as many people as you want. But if you love someone, you have to let them go."
"They tell you that, but they don't tell you is all that really means is your losing the only one you truly care about."
"Please don't be upset," Jason pleaded. He picked up my chin so I would eye him. "I've seen you at your worst. Even at your all time low you are lovely. So please, cheer up. At least you two are together for the time being. Be happy you are bonded."
I sighed heavily.
It was rough news, but he had a point.
Jason stood up slowly.
"Stay here, I'm going to go find your friend."
I let him walk towards the door, but decided to say something before he left.
"Make sure he knows how much I love him."
"Don't worry," he softly smiled. "He knows that. It's written all over your eyes."
With that, Jason walked out the door, leaving me in worry, out to talk to the one I love.
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