Hello, my fabulous readers!
I hope everyone is doing well today. Also, I hope you're excited for this update. I think you will all be very proud of Ariella in this chapter. She is maturing so much and I'm so glad that she's truly stepping up and fitting the role of a mother. I hope you will all see how much she is really trying. Trust me, Ariella is trying her hardest.
Anyways, this is Chapter Thirty-Two! I hope you enjoy it. :) There will only be one or two more chapters after this!
PS- Check out the video on the side! Those guys are so talented. I love Anthem Lights so everyone should check them out.
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Chapter Thirty-Two
Ariella’s POV
I remembered times when I misleadingly believed my mother acted her role. They weren’t that often considering she was always busy working or seeing men. There were several different men in my life before Steve; however none quite left a mark like he did. I suppose I was too young to entirely understand why my mother was always gone or why she always clung to alcohol for as long as I could remember. She didn’t bother to tell my biological father that I even existed until I almost ceased to exist at all. I would never understand why my mother did the things she did. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t seek answers because her life fell to her addiction. She became her addiction.
Even though my mother never really did anything good for me, I still loved her nonetheless. I felt a need to try and take care of her despite her horrible actions. And it wasn’t always what she did do; it was more or less what she didn’t do. She didn’t protect me from my step father like a true mother should’ve. She didn’t look after me when I needed it. When I fell ill, she ignored me. While it was her fault that she wasn’t a good mother, I just knew it was in her nature. I forgave her long ago. It took her death for me to finally be able to forgive her and I still do regret letting her die thinking that I didn’t love her, because it wasn’t true. I did love her but she didn’t love me back. My own mother never loved me and I was the one who had to pay the price for that. I guess that’s why she never stood up to Steve for all those years.
Simple gestures from her – fake or not – was all I needed to feel satisfied. I didn’t realize at the time that mothers weren’t supposed to act that way. I thought it was natural to feel all alone because that was all that I knew. All I had ever known before I met five incredible boys was loneliness. And I accepted that.
I realized that I always accepted less than I deserved. My mindset was triggered to think a certain way and my perception of people was forever changed because of the love that I never received from my mother. I knew that was the reason it took me so long to open up to people, the boys especially. I always knew it but I chose to run from my problems because I was too weak to deal with them. I was scared of affection because I had never witnessed it before.
I could sit all day and point out the many flaws that my mom had in raising me. But I won’t. Instead I vowed to never be that type of parent to my child. In that moment I swore that I would never let my child feel unloved like I had to feel for seventeen years. I would never be like my mother. I wouldn’t allow myself to be so consumed with other things that I would forget about my own child. I knew what type of mother I would be. I knew that I would raise my family in love. Together Niall and I would teach our future children to always love others endlessly. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
When the rest of the boys found out, it was like a madhouse in Harry’s flat. Louis was talking about baby names – his choices being Louis or Louise, of course – and then telling us all about the classes he remembered his mom taking during her pregnancies with his younger sisters.
Liam reminded me of the downsides that come with pregnancy. He messed around on Google for a while before telling me a list of vitamins to take daily. Also he nagged me about eating enough for two and going to the doctor for ultrasounds and appointments to check on the baby.
Zayn wished me good luck and hugged me. He babbled on about how excited he was and kept repeatedly telling me that he would help me with anything that I needed. Perrie was already discussing outfits she was going to buy. “Oh, I hope it’s a girl. I just want to spoil her!” She squealed. Zayn wrapped his arm around her waist and listened to her talk.
Harry just sat there in silence. I was extremely worried to hear his opinion on my pregnancy. I wouldn’t blame him if he were mad because honestly I wasn’t prepared for this at all. I had no idea how to care for another human being. I knew that there were tons of younger, teen moms who raised kids just fine, but even at twenty years old I was a bit hesitant about everything.
“Harry, are you okay?” I asked him quietly.
“I’m really surprised,” was all he said.
“Are you mad?” I asked as I sat down next to my brother.
“I’m not mad at all. I’m just having trouble processing it all. I mean, I’m excited about becoming an uncle. I know that you and Niall will be the best parents in the whole world,” Harry told me.
Harry and I hugged. “Thank you Harry. I love you,” I whispered to him.
“I love you too, Ariella,” He said.
Niall sat down on my left so that I was in between him and Harry. He wrapped an arm around my waist and leaned back into the couch.
“I guess we better schedule appointments with the doctor to see how far along you are,” Niall said to me.
I nodded my head in agreement. “This is all so crazy though.”
“I know. We’ll get through it though. I don’t think there’s anything we can’t do together,” Niall said.
“The fans are going to explode,” I told him.
“Just don’t pay attention to them. Besides, we don’t have to make this public to anyone. I don’t want our baby to grow up on T.V. It’ll be better if we lay low for a while,” He said.
“Yeah, that’s going to be really easy when you have to go back on tour,” I said sarcastically.
“Listen to me, Ariella. We’ll make this work,” Niall reassured me.
Niall’s hand was shaking as he rang Anne’s doorbell. He wiped the sweat from his brow and began saying things under his breath. It was bright and early in the morning and I knew Anne would be awake. Niall and I came here together to tell her the news. Niall was more nervous than I was which was funny to me considering he’s not the one who actually has to give birth.
“She’s gonna kill me,” He whispered.
“Just duck right after we tell her,” I joked.
Niall groaned and put his head in his hands. Shortly after, Anne answered the door with bright eyes. She made an excited sound and hugged both of us. She ushered us into her home where Gemma and Christian were seated at the table in the kitchen. They both waved at Niall and I. I immediately saw Niall’s face turn red once he saw that we weren’t alone.
“Relax, we would’ve had to tell them sometime,” I told him.
I laced my fingers with his and squeezed his hand to get him to calm down. We took a seat on the couch and Anne sat across from us in the loveseat.
“So why did you drop by?” She asked.
“Um, we have to tell you something,” I squeaked quietly.
Niall was focusing on the flowers that sat on the coffee table in front of us. He looked like he was going to be sick. He dropped my hand and started rubbing his temples. I felt extremely guilty for bringing him here. Had I known he was going to feel this uncomfortable, I would’ve just come by myself. I had never seen Niall act this nervous in front of my step mother.
“Well what is it? Go ahead and spit it out,” Anne definitely had a way with words because a few short seconds later Niall threw up in her flowers.
Anne screamed and ran to the kitchen to get something to clean up the mess. I helped Niall up and escorted him to the nearest bathroom, where he finished emptying the contents of his stomach.
“I’m starting to think you’re the pregnant one, Niall,” I joked.
He glared at me and then washed his mouth in the sink. He groaned and leaned against the wall for support. I looped my arms around his waist and pulled him into me.
“It’ll be okay, Niall. I’m so sorry I made you come. I didn’t know you would get sick,” I apologized.
“Don’t apologize for anything. I guess I just worried myself sick. Um, if it’s okay, I’d like to stay in here while you tell Anne…” He said.
“That’s fine,” I told him.
I left the bathroom and joined Anne in cleaning up Niall’s mess. I laughed quietly to myself. He already can’t clean up his own messes.
“Poor boy… What’s wrong with him?” Anne asked.
“Well, there’s something that I have to tell you. So I’m just gonna come right out and say it. I’m pregnant. Niall and I are, uh, having a baby,” I said quietly.
Anne dropped her mop and stared at me in silence.
“What? When did you find out? I’m going to be a grandmother?” Anne asked a series of questions.
I suddenly felt self conscious. What if she thought I couldn’t handle it? What if she was disappointed in me because I am only twenty? What does she think?
“I found out last night,” I said.
“Oh, Ariella, come here,” She said as she pulled me into a hug. She stroked my hair. I noticed Gemma and Christian had also made their way over to me.
“I’m scared, Anne, but I can do this,” I told her.
“I know you can. I’ve always believed in you, Ariella. I knew you were a fighter when I first met you. Now, where’s Niall? I can’t believe that Horan has tainted my pure little Ariella…” Anne joked at the end.
“He’s in the bathroom. He was scared of what you would do,” I said.
“As he should be,” She said boldly.
I laughed at my step mother. I was so glad to have a mother figure like her in my life after all that I’d been through. Christian and Gemma caught me off guard when they both hugged me.
“I’m only coming to the baby shower if the baby is named after me,” Christian told me.
“I think you’ll have to fight Louis over the name, I’m afraid,” I told him.
Christian let out a loud laugh. Gemma told me that she was excited and how much I’ve changed since she first met me.
“You’ll be a great mother,” Gemma said.
“Thank you, Gemma. I plan to be,” I told my half sister.
I heard the bathroom door open with a creak as Niall popped his head out and asked, “Can I come out of the bathroom yet or is Anne gonna kill me?”
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What did you think?
Please let me know! I love reading your comments and yes, I do read all of them. Just because I don't have the time to reply to all of them doesn't mean I don't read them. I hope you appreciate Ariella's and Niall's efforts. I know they're going to make lovely parents. :) I'm very sad to tell you that this story is coming to an end soon; however, there will be a third book!
Love, RelentlessChaos <3