tuesdays were just always boring to Flossy, even when she was younger and school was much easier to her. what made the day significantly even more boring was the fact that it was the last period of the day and she was taking a test in biology. she had been done for what felt like two days but was only twenty minutes. Calum already turned in his test - no shocker there - and was staring aimlessly around the room. Flossy took this extra opportunity to gaze at him without him looking.
she always found Calum looking at her but it wasn't until now that she was placed in his shoes. she hadn't really looked at how prominent his jawline was until now and realized that it could literally stab her. he was twiddling his fingers but it was then that she appreciated just how long they were and their color and even the slightest remnant of black color to them, just like nail polish. his arms were perfectly displayed in the plain button up he was wearing and she envisaged just what it would feel like to be held by him. his lips were chapped from being licked and nibbled on previously in his time line. his normally bright and caramel eyes were dull as they looked at everything but her. it made her notice that she was secretly waiting for him to look back at her.
it was almost like she could hear her thoughts and desires as he suddenly looked to her from across the room. his eyes immediatley brightened just from making eye contact with her. she smiled ever so slightly; the secret of how happy she became just from him noticing her too light to be detected. she picked up her hands from under the table and moved her thumbs like she was texting, asking him with the gesture to text her. he nodded eagerly and fished his phone out from the side pocket of his khaki colored jeans.
calumari: what if old man catches us? he'll give us both zeros for the test.
flo(ral)ssy: if he really does, then he can check our texts and see that we're not giving each other answers. i don't think he'll even notice because you can hear his snoring from a mile away.
true to her word, the two of them looked up and over to their teacher, whose chair was tilted back and mouth was open wide, releasing sounds of pure exhaustion. Calum looked back at Flossy who smirked before she could type out a reply.
flo(ral)ssy: old man? I wouldn't expect his star student to call him such a name.
calumari: there's a lot about me you wouldn't expect.
Flossy looked up over at Calum who wouldn't look back at her. the response seemed almost imploring to be dug deeper into but Flossy wasn't sure if that was really what he wanted her to do. instead of making a fool of herself and being a dweeb, she went for a different approach.
flo(ral)ssy: such a deep response that seems to go both ways.
calumari: oh really? how so?
flo(ral)ssy: you know that little test that we're in the middle of? well I finished it five minutes before you did. without guessing.
Calum's eyes were wide when they perked up to look at her. all Flossy did was slowly lean back in her chair with crossed arms and lifted her eyebrows up at him as if to say, "what are you going to do about it?" immediately Calum's fingers worked across his screen to type a reply.
calumari: well then why is it still on your desk?
flo(ral)ssy: nope it's your turn, buddy boy.
there was a silence in their conversation that gave Flossy time to observe the room like Calum had earlier. everyone was done the test except for her and someone who fell asleep on it. figuring she was the last person to technically hand it in, she did so with a strut she hoped Calum was looking at. she came back to her desk with no new messages which made her look over to Calum with a quizzical glance. of course, this was the time he didn't look back at her. the bell screamed through the classroom, waking up their sleeping teacher, and making Flossy very slightly angry as she stormed out of the room.
Calum called after her and she came to a halt. he was walking so fast that he struggled to keep his bookbag full of books on his shoulder and his glasses from falling off the bridge of his nose. she couldn't help but smile and bite back the laugh that was bound to erupt from her lips like a volcano emitting lava.
"I openly love One Direction," Calum blurted to her as they passed through the halls, people pushing passed them hurriedly to get to their buses or after school activities. Flossy's eyes were wide with eyebrows scrunched, asking a question about his confession. "you wanted to know something about me that you wouldn't expect. mine is that I actually really shamelessly like One Direction."
"that shockingly doesn't shock me," Flossy disclosed to him, giggling slightly as the words left her lips. "I might not like their songs, but I'd definitely let them do whatever they wanted to me." there was a pause between the two before Calum agreed with flush cheeks, making Flossy laugh even harder.
she walked to his bus and surprised him when she got on behind him. he shot her an appealed look as he led her to where he usually sat with a question begging to be asked.
"have you ever been on this bus before?" came out of his mouth before he could stop it. it was such a fucking dumb question that he literally almost repeatedly banged his head against the leather seat in front of him. "like, what made you want to start today out of nowhere?"
"well, contrary to how much I tease you," Flossy started with the shadow of a smile peek out into the light, "you're actually a lot of fun to be around. so I was thinking we could maybe study at your house maybe?" Calum tried to give an answer to her offer, but she contradicted herself by saying, "actually, I'm hearing it myself and I literally just invited myself over. just forget it, I'll just find something to do so my mom won't throw me out."
"I'd love to study with you," Calum interjected so quick that Flossy almost barely caught it. like every step to get closer to him, it was always four backwards. he looked down and started to stutter as he recovered himself. "yeah, I wouldn't mind you coming over. it'll be fun!"
the rest of the bus ride was almost silent between the two, but they shared Calum's earbuds. so there was that. he could tell Flossy liked a song when her fingers tapped what she thought was her leg when it was actually his leg. he may or may not have played some of those songs twice, but would easily deny it a million times if anyone actually called her on it.
when they get off at Calum's usual stop, Flossy looked around bewildered like she didn't live in the same neighborhood as him. he moved to walk in front of her so she followed like he was leading her to a brand new life. she was looking at everything in a brand new light.
the house was loudly silent when they walked through the door. Calum threw his bag on one of the living room couches casually whereas Flossy was too scared to step on certain tiles. lightly putting her bag against a couch, she tried to amble forward but he noticed just how uneasy she was.
"do you want anything? we have healthy snacks, unhealthy snacks, or we could always make something -"
"I'm fine with water," she cut him off nicely. she softly smiled at him, showing him that she was okay. he nodded and tossed her one from the refrigerator a few feet away, bouncing off her fingertips, and landing on the couch. she made a funny disappointed face which made both of them laugh.
Calum sat at one of the stools placed at the island. Flossy was hesitant to join him. the entire situation was so foreign to her that she was never confident in her actions. she wasn't the girl you brought back to meet your parents; she was the girl you kept your parents from.
"I'd think that you'd immediately dive into your homework before anything else," Flossy commented, but he could tell that the sarcastic edge just wasn't in her voice. she was almost bashful or equivocal to say it, it seemed. it sounded more of an observation than an attempt to tease him.
"sometimes I do, but others I just spend an hour or two dawdling so I don't have to get it done."
Flossy fake gasped put her hand over her chest, and her mouth accessible. they shared a quick laugh as she explained that it actually was a shock that he was a procrastinator, considering brainiacs like him never waste a second without studying for something.
"I used to be like that but I guess something . . . changed."
she had been looking down when he said it but when she heard it, her eyes slowly lifted to meet his chocolate eyes on hers. there was an emotion - almost like longing but so much more than that - behind them that cut her heart strings in comparison to pulling them. she wanted to look anywhere but his eyes; two mountains so breathtaking that she could never look away from.
"can I ask you something?" without even hesistating, she nodded in response. her tongue had been taken by his bewitching words as well as the use of it. her lips were parted as he advanced towards her slowly, almost like a dance, and she felt a time bomb starting to go off in her head. "why are you with me more than you are with Diff?"
and there it was. the question she herself asked over and over again. she had no answer. no retort could save her from what wanted to climb out of the back of her throat and be made known to him. how could she word it without letting go of every secret she's kept since she laid eyes on him more than a few days ago?
"quite frankly: I'm sick of him. I'm sick of him only wanting me when he's bored, or overwhelmed, or depressed, or anything else. I can't even call whatever we have a relationship. it's more like a . . . covenant more than anything else voluptuous.
"and you know what? being with you just makes me feel better about it. you fill in all the missing holes. you make me forget. you make me happy when I just want to just scream and cry. you're just . . . yeah."
Flossy looked up at him to see that his eyes were darker on hers. they were guards, watching her every move, eager to see what she would do next. he was waiting for her to finish that sentence but there was nothing else that she could say about it. the attentive look was enough for anyone to be under lust's spell.
"there's not all bad days," she continued, aggressively running her fingers through her hair, making it seem like she was getting frustrated over the subject. "some days he just wants to catch up with me or take me somewhere - completely sober, might I add - and then I start to think that he really loves me. then there's a bad day and the cycle repeats again."
Flossy then realized that soon, there would be a good day for him to come back and wordlessly ask for forgiveness. it was something she sure as hell did not want to say to Calum. just in case she wasn't sure of his emotions, she kept it to herself, too scared that he would be acutely upset by what she would tell him.
"what about Belle?" Flossy suddenly inquired, giving him a look that was asking a million questions all in one.
"what about her?"
"do you have feelings for her?" she continued immediately following his question.
"maybe," he confessed, making it a point to avoid Flossy's eyes. it was the one time - actually, now looking back, it was probably the millionth time - when Flossy really wanted him to be daring enough to look at her, despite his tendency to be more confident around her. "I just don't know her that much. if I said I had feelings for her, it would be purely out of her looks and not out of who she was. it's just not fair."
"well at least you were up front about it," Flossy said dolefully, avoiding his eyes just as much as he was avoiding hers.
there was a pause between the pair that was almost heartbreaking. there was so much Flossy wanted to say, and even more that Calum wanted to reassure her of. it just didn't seem like the time for either of them to drop bombs they couldn't hold on each other.
Calum changed the subject by suggesting that they go upstairs to study. without having anything else to say, Flossy nodded her head and followed him up the stairs. she didn't realize until then just how quiet the mansion had been as they ascended up the steps to Calum's room.
the hours seemed to float by as they sat cross legged on his bedroom floor. Flossy actually had to do her homework because there wasn't anything else for her to do. she tried to ignore Calum's attempts at making the tension die; playing Nirvana, her favorite band, asking her if she needed help with her work, even going as far as straight up asking if she was okay. she would shake her head yes or no to every act he made at getting her back to whatever self she was before.
it wasn't that she was mad at Calum, quite the opposite actually. she was thankful that he was still reaching out for her, even if she wasn't reaching back. she was more mad at herself. she felt as though she was victimizing herself, making her seem like she needed a superhero to save her from the pain she endured. that was not the case at all. she hated showing all of her cards before the game even started. she loved being the enigma people died trying to figure out. when she gave pieces of herself to others, they almost always broke them before they processed what they were.
that was the whole meaning behind the front she put up for everyone. not because she was fake and loved the attention, but because that was the story she grew up hearing. she built the walls to keep everyone out, not to surround herself in selfishness.
the silence between them ended when an older boy who resembled Calum more than anyone could really, stumbled through the door with a look of pure exasperation. "hey, cal, do you have the extra large condoms? I just found out the other ones don't -" the mysterious boy immediately stopped talking as his eyes landed on Flossy and his tan skin immediately ignited.
"Xavier!" Calum called to him with cheeks almost as red as his brother's. "this is not the time."
"wow what a first impression to make on such a pretty girl," Xavier Hood joked mostly to himself but Flossy giggled. "I'm Calum's brother Xavier, who he never mentioned having a girl over to, for the record."
Calum rolled his eyes as Flossy introduced herself. immediately, Xavier's eyes widened and he looked at Calum. they seemed to have a conversation just with their eyes. was this what it was like to be on the other end of things whenever Flossy and her sister Chessie were in the same room together?
"so this is the famous Flossy Black." when she gave him a confused glare, he elaborated, "Calum talks about you from time to time and I was curious to meet the badass next door."
"all the good details, of course," Calum added on immediately following his older brother's declaration. "well, there's nothing bad really to say about you, Floss."
Flossy acted unaffected by Xavier's confession and Calum's nickname for her, but her cheeks were almost as red as both of their's were. it actually meant a lot to her that Calum talked about her to his brother. she would never admit that aloud, though, because that would mean she'd have to come to face circumstances she's been turning away from for at least two weeks now.
she couldn't stop giggling as Calum walked out of the room with flushed cheeks to fetch what Xavier came in there for. what made her red wasn't the fact that Calum emerged from the bathroom with an opened box of condoms - who needs a full box anyway?! - but instead was the fact that they were extra large condoms, just what Xavier asked for. seemingly delighted over the present, he left quietly just as all the happiness in the room had been evaporated.
Calum slowly came back in, closing his bedroom door silently and met Flossy's eyes. she wanted to say something to take the tension away, and she was sure that she was conveying that, but before she could even think of a subject to talk about, Calum interjected instead.
"what's one job you always thought was cool but would actually never do?"
she was so thankful that he diverted the subject that her face erupted into a huge smile. "probably a bouncer." he looked at her like he was disgusted, resembling a meme more than she ever could, which made her laugh so hard she almost wheezed. "c'mon, wouldn't it be funny to not let people through the velvet rope and fighting them if they try to come in. like in that episode of Drake & Josh!"
he laughed along with her, shaking his head with a chipper expression on his squishy cheeks. "I'd probably be a dog trainer."
"how did I not see that coming?" Flossy asked him teasingly, knowing full well about his obsession with the animal. "if you could have any super power, what would it be?"
it seemed that Calum had to think about this for a few seconds, but looked at Flossy as he did so. "invisibility," he responded, "because I could beat up my enemies or do this -" he stood up and ruffled Flossy's hair from the top of her head, ignoring her protests "- and you wouldn't even know it was me until it was already done." she looked up at him with eyes that held years of fury but her smile was being held back. he could tell it could've lit up the room if she wasn't so "angry" with him.
"so anyway," he started, trying to seem happy or excited as he asked, "what would yours be?"
Flossy let out a sigh and it seemed like she let it go as she replied, "shape-shifting. probably just because it would be really cool."
"what about supernatural character?"
he didn't need to think about it much because as soon as Flossy asked the question, there was at least a gap a second wide until he replied, "vampire."
"I'd probably be a siren. I'm just so fascinated with the fact that they can literally lure people towards their death only by using their voices. they don't even have to use words that the men use too! the subject they're most cocky about is the thing that literally ends their days. how ironically fun is that!"
her eyes were afire in Calum's eyes. this was a look he'd never seen before. she was excitedly talking about something she really enjoyed and he swore that the room lighted even brighter because of it. her smile was resplendent, enticing, and at the very least, beautiful. he thought he knew his definition of beautiful but this . . . this was it.
"can you sing?" he asked in bewilderment. it seemed like that was all that could come out of it.
a small smile flickered on her lips at the question but her shy manner made her look down for a second or two before she answered. "when you play poker, as soon as you get your cards, you don't tell everyone what you have! that goes for almost every card game too, actually. you've gotta wait until you're more into the game before all the real secrets are revealed."
Calum wasn't sure what kind of answer he was looking for when he asked but he definitely wasn't surprised with her mind game as a response. she started to look around the room and he knew that in a few seconds time, she was going to ask him a similar question to what he asked her. it's not like he minded much though. he loved the fact that she wanted to get to know him.
"you play?" she asked him, eyeing the guitar. it seemed like she was taken by it, completely fascinated with the wide brown eyes and lips parted as she stared longingly at it. only when she realized she was doing it did she stop and looked over at Calum a little flustered.
he told her that he did as he seized it from it's case and asked her what song he wanted to play for her. she had to think about it but asked him to play "Can't Help Falling in Love" for her because it was always her favorite. his eyes didn't stray from hers once in the duration of the time.
there was just something about someone seeing - especially males - that immediately made her emotional. they always seem like they're peaceful and in their most tranquil state. they always seem like this is what they were put on this earth to do. they always seem like they can take on the world with the amount of confidence they have. they always give her chills and bring her to tears, no matter how high or low the singer could go. she hoped she had those talents when she sang too.
but when Calum sang it was something completely different. yes, she got chills and teared up, but he made her feel an emotion that she's felt before, but in a totally different spectrum now. her face erupted into an immeasurable, giddy smile. she mouthed the words along with him which definitely was the cause of him smiling as he sang.
his voice was the perfect measure of both soft and powerful. he had so much control that her body dropped several degrees. it could go from being light and careful to raspy and deep so rapidly and effortlessly. she could either fall asleep to it or stay up all night because of it. she couldn't look away from him, enticed and bewitched by the entirety of the situation.
she said earlier that she wanted to be a siren of the sea, but she had one right before her and this was going to be the death of her.
Calum looked up at her and smiled as he sang. it was all the music she'd ever need. he wouldn't look away from her dark eyes and she never wanted him to. the realization made her heart skip a beat but for once she didn't shy away from the contact.
there was a knock at the door, ridding the pair of their intense moment. Bonnie Hood peeked through the door and smiled, informing them that she picked up some food for dinner, assuming that Flossy wanted to stay because of course she was welcome. Calum looked at her like he wanted her to stay which made the decision for her. Calum's father had some work to finish so it was Flossy, Calum, Xavier, and their mother making jokes and laughing over warm Mexican food.
Flossy was still slightly shy around Calum's family members but it was definitely a jump from the night before. maybe it was because Calum's brother was home, adding to the light and airy feeling in the kitchen with every joke and pun that left his lips. there wasn't as much pressure on her in comparison to the last time she had spent a dinner with the Hood family.
she didn't stay much longer after dinner - after helping clean up, of course - but Calum agreed to walk her home, just like the other night. they talked of Star Wars and their expectations for the movie. but as they got to Flossy's elegant-looking front door, all words were lost on both of their tongues, not knowing when or how to find their way into the cold breaths between them.
expecting for Calum just to wave goodbye, Flossy turned to seize the doorknob but he grabbed her wrist, and brought her quickly into his arms before she could protest. and suddenly the Christmas air felt like summer to her just from the affection he gave her.
"just so you know," he told her in a voice that was sincere and genuine, "you make me want to get better at talking to people. you make me want to be more confident." he spoke into her hair which warmed both her neck and her heart.
her emotions robbed her of her voice so all she could do was tell him how glad she was of his words and enjoyed his warmth. she ignored how hard her heart was pounding against his chest and how perfect she fit against his tall and surprisingly lean stature. this was the only place where she felt she fit in perfectly; his arms. she could be herself in them without him judging her. that was totally the only reason why she didn't want to let go, even though she knew she had to.
Flossy slowly pulled away and gave Calum a smile brighter than the Christmas lights on her yard. she bid him goodnight and opened the door, turning around to wave to him before she closed it behind her. she froze against the front door, leaning against it with a content smile as she pondered his last words to her.
she walked up the steps with the same thought running through her head: little did he know that she was trying to get better at talking to people for him.
❦
Christmas update bc much love. let's appreciate cal in this gif and how his mom is such a cockblock aND ALMOST 5K WORDS QOWIE
ps I saw Star Wars and it was nowhere near a let down and even if you don't like Star Wars that much you'll love it
DEDICATION TO MY LOVEBUG deletedthings BC I LOVE ALEEZA SO MUCH AND I REALIZE I HAVEN'T GIVRN HER ONE ESPECIALLY BC THAT COMMENT MADE ME ALL BLUSHY EMOJI MUCH LOVE
idk what else to say except happy holidays and I love you ALLtons