The beginning of a relationship is always the magical part; late night walks under the stars, new restaurants, and dates at a moment's notice. Every day is filled with romantic experiences, however small or large, and seeing each other as the greatest joy in your life. Falling in love can be fast and surprising, or it can take time, but either way, in the beginning, it has a feeling that you cling to and try to keep alive every day.
But then life gets in the way; little arguments can become bigger. The stress of daily life takes its toll and the romance becomes less of a priority. It doesn't mean that the love isn't there, it just isn't as vibrant as it once was. That is were you and Clint had been for the past few years. You loved the man with all your heart, but there just wasn't time for dates or time alone anymore. He was an Avenger, off saving the world with his team, and you would never think of asking him to set that aside. However, you also had a six-year-old daughter named Natalie, and all of your time was devoted to her.
"Mama, what time is daddy coming home?" The little girl looked up at you with eyes shining like her father's, her curls bouncing with every hop in her step as she excitedly danced around you.
"Sweetheart, like I've said about three hundred times, he'll be here any minute now."
She ran to the window, anxious for Clint's arrival from his mission, pressing her little hands against the glass, her nose nearly touching it as she looked back and forth along the busy city street. Her excitement reached its peak when she finally saw him, running to the door and opening it just as he reached for the handle.
"Hey, baby!" He knelt down in front of her and pulled her into a tight hug, "oh, I've missed you!"
"Did you win, daddy?"
Clint's laugh shook in his chest and resonated through the room, shaking both him and your daughter, "of course we won! We always win, don't we?" He pulled back to grab something from his bag, looking at her with his own excitement. "Hey, we were in Japan, so I got you something...something...aha, here it is!"
"Mama, look!" She held up a small samurai doll for you to inspect, holding it delicately in front of you but not willing to allow you to hold it. "I'm gonna go find a spot in my room for it!" As she ran to her room, Clint stood to finally greet you, pulling you into a hug and a kiss on your cheek. It was far from the greetings that you used to receive, but you had become accustomed to these now and didn't argue.
"So, what did my girls do while I was gone?"
You took his bag from the floor, sighing as he flopped down on the couch, turning on the television before you could answer. "Just the usual; worked on homework, cleaned the house a bit, stuff like that." Clint's phone rang just then, and the familiar tone heard so many times before filled the room.
"Really? But I just got...okay, yes...how long...fine, give me an hour. Then why did you ask? I'll be there in twenty."
With a huff he threw his phone back into his pocket, glancing at you with a look of frustration. He stood cautiously, expecting you to be upset that he was leaving as soon as he had returned. "So, that was Cap..."
"I got that," you smiled faintly. "Ringtone."
"Right." Just then your girl came running back into the room but stopped short when she saw Clint grabbing his bag and standing by the door. "Oh, honey, I'm sorry but daddy has to go again, but this time it will be really short, I promise." His heart melted when he saw the tears begin to well up in her eyes and her chin began to quiver. He moved quickly to pick her up into a hug, squeezing her tightly as he felt his own tears begin.
"Baby, he'll be back soon. Daddy's job just happens whenever they need him, remember?" Your chest ached as you watched them, both sad and crying now. "Did Steve say how long?"
He shook his head without speaking, letting Natalie run back to her room, not wanting to see her dad leave again. "God, this hurts." He paused for a moment then hugged you and walked out the door for yet another mission.
~~~
"It's good to get out once in a while, (Y/N). Clint's always gone and you can't be expected to stay at home everyday, pining for him."
"I'm not pining. I'm just sad that he isn't there as much as any of us would like, but it's a part of the job, I get that." Your friend was right though, you couldn't be expected to stay home everyday, waiting for him to show up. Now that Natalie was back in school, you were able to steal moments like this one, having lunch with your best friend Chris. "But you know what? Enough about that! I'm out for the afternoon, so I want to just have a good time with my friend. It's been far too long."
"I'll drink to that!" You clinked your wine glasses together, tipping the glass back to take the alcohol down a bit faster than you maybe should have. About an hour later, the drink had taken effect.
"Come on, love. I'm gonna walk you home." You grabbed his arm, leaning on him a bit with your arm linked in his. Chris had been your best friend since high school and knew that wine was your weakness, so he was prepared to carry you home if necessary. You laughed and stumbled down the sidewalk, making a slow pace of the ten-block walk back to your apartment.
The joy of the moment was lost, however, when Clint drove past, finally returning from the mission. You stopped to watch him turn the car around, pulling up to you and opening his door to let you in. "Get in the car, (Y/N)."
You looked at Chris, then Clint with a look of confusion as to why he felt the need to pick you up curbside. "Go ahead, sweetie, best to get a ride home. Those heels will be the death of you anyway!" Your friend guided you into the passenger seat and planted a quick kiss to your cheek before helping you close the door.
In what you believed to be an obvious display of manhood, Clint squealed the tires as he drove away.
~~~
When you reached your apartment you threw the door open, flinging your keys across the room, angry that Clint would feel the need to interrupt the only day you had away since Natalie's summer break ended. "You wanna tell me what the hell that was about?"
"I should be asking you the same thing!"
It wasn't fair that he wanted to argue while you still had a bit of a wine buzz, knowing that your argument would be sloppy at best, and you were prone to hasty decisions. "I was having lunch with my friend. I don't see the problem, Clint."
"You sure looked cozy, that's for damn sure. Is there something going on there that I need to know about, (Y/N)? Is there something you want to tell me?"
"Like what? I don't need to explain myself to you."
"Fine. If that's what you want, I'll just come out and ask. Are you cheating on me with that guy?" He took several steps closer to you, holding a firm stance. "Because if that's the case, you can just feel free to go on your way."
Your mouth dropped open, shocked that he would come to that conclusion when you were doing something innocent and had never given him reason to think that you would ever cheat on him. "You're being ridiculous."
"Am I?"
"Yes, you are! And even if I was, you wouldn't have a clue because you're never here, Clint! We're here without you everyday. And I know that your job happens at anytime and that you can't say no, but I still can't help how I feel about it."
He was getting more and more frustrated with your answers rather than relieved by them. "I am out there saving the world, (Y/N)! And what are you doing? You just run around and have fun while I'm risking my life! You spend all day around here, doing nothing."
"Raising our daughter is nothing?! What about you? You're out there with Natasha, doing who knows what! For all I know, you're the one cheating, blaming me to cover for yourself! You spend more time with her than you do with either of us!" You reached out and pushed him back, your force diminished and barely enough to budge him from his spot. "Screw you, Barton." He stumbled back a step when the door opened, revealing Natalie coming home from school.
"Daddy, you're home!"
"Hey, baby. Yeah, I'm home." He held her in his arms as he looked at you, but his eyes were dark and angry; not a color that you were used to seeing in them. This argument was different than the rest, and it felt much more personal, as if something happened on this mission that changed his thinking. When he released her from the hug, she jumped down and ran to you.
"Hey, sweetheart, go pack a bag. I think you and mommy are gonna take a few days away. Like a mini-vacation!" You tried to sound excited, hoping that she would buy it without question. It was time for Clint to see how it felt, being alone with his family divided.
"Is daddy coming?" Her eyes were wide and inquisitive, not sure of where this sudden decision had come from.
"No, Natalie, not this time. Maybe next time, okay?"
Clint looked at you with shock, not believing that you were leaving. He couldn't think of any words that would make you stay, only words that would continue the argument; words that would continue to hurt each other and only make the void between you bigger.
She ran to her room to pack, stopping mid-sprint to look back at you, a question bursting out. "Where are we going, mama? Somewhere fun?"
Your eyes met Clint's as you spoke to her, making it clear that you weren't about to take this lying down, and that he hadn't heard the end of this, not by a long shot.
"We're going to Uncle Tony's, baby."
She squealed at this, running back towards her room. "Yay! Maybe he finally built my suit!"
Part 2
Clint sat at the bar, rolling the empty beer bottle in his hands and peeling the label away. Steve had decided to join him when he heard that you were staying in a room at the tower for a while, knowing that his friend would need support and maybe a little advice. He didn't look good at all, like he hadn't slept in days, and maybe he hadn't. The situation was beginning to take its toll already, only a few days in.
"How long is she staying with Tony?"
"I don't know," Clint sighed, weary and quietly. "However long it takes for her to decide what to do, I suppose."
Steve reached over and grabbed the empty bottle from Barton's hands and signaled the bartender for another. "So it was pretty bad this time?"
"She was with some guy, half drunk, hanging all over him." When the new bottle arrived in front of him, he made short work of taking down half of it right away. As he set it down and stared at it, his mind was racing with the image of you laughing and touching this guy, walking down the street like it was nothing. Like he was nothing. "It was ridiculous. You should have seen it. I'm such an idiot, Cap."
"Well, that may be true, but are you sure that you saw what you think you saw?"
"It was pretty obvious."
Steve nodded slightly, considering his choice of words. "Okay, then who is this guy to her? Did you recognize him? Did you even ask her or did you jump to the conclusion that you were right?"
"You know, if I had known you were gonna take her side on this, I would've just got drunk at home."
"That's not what I'm saying, Barton." Steve put his hand firmly on Clint's shoulder, "I'm just saying that you need to get all the facts before you ruin the best thing in your life. Think about what this could do to your daughter for just a minute. Doesn't she deserve it for you to be smart about this?"
Clint swallowed hard at the sensation of a lump building in his throat. He could feel his eyes begin to sting with tears, shaking his head slightly as he sniffled. "You know she does. That's not even a question."
Steve stood and pulled his wallet from his pocket, opening it to grab a few bills to throw down on the bar. "Come on. It's time."
~~~
"Faster, Uncle Tony! Faster!"
"If you make her puke, I'm not cleaning it up!" You looked out over the balcony of the tower to see your brother flying past, your wide-eyed and laughing daughter strapped securely to his chest. "Do you really have to fly so far away from the building?" A small wave of nausea hit you as you watched them, circling the tower, flipping the suit back and forth, flying upside down, and free-falling before shooting back up past you. "Seriously, Tony, she's gonna throw up on you!"
Tony laughed and followed his niece's command to go faster, disappearing into the skyline and out of your sight. "Sweetheart, this ain't her first time. This kid is a natural." He switched the comm so that only Natalie could hear him, "Alright, remember what I taught you? Don't hurt Uncle Tony."
Natalie pulled out a small red remote from the side of Tony's arm, excited that she was finally going to fly the suit on her own. "I promise, I'll be good!" Her little hands clutched the box tightly, moving the controls quickly so that the suit was weaving around the city buildings as she screamed with happiness at the people filling the sidewalks below. "Can we go to the statue? Please?!"
"Whatever you want, honey. I'm gonna drive again though, okay? I don't think you know the way."
She reconnected the remote to his arm and watched eagerly as he flew down the length of the island and towards the water. "There it is! Right there, Uncle Tony! Go faster!" The thrusters roared loudly, creating waves in the water as they flew past.
"Where did you guys go?" you asked. "Don't cut off my comm like that, Tony! That's still my kid strapped to your chest."
When he reached the Statue of Liberty, he gently set them both down so that Natalie could see New York from the crown of the monument. He could give his niece anything in the world that she wanted, and he would without hesitation, but all she ever wanted was to fly with him. Tony felt a small pang of regret that he never had kids of his own; that he never found the time, that he didn't find the right woman soon enough, or any other ridiculous reason he could think of. He looked down at her and smiled at the pure joy on her face, marveling in the lights and sounds of the city. He had committed his heart to this little girl, and she would never want for anything.
"Calm down, (Y/N). We're just enjoying the view."
"From...?"
"Mama! We're on top of the statue!" Her voice cracked as she squealed and laughed with excitement.
"Tony, are you serious?! Why would you think it's okay-" Your argument was interrupted when you saw Clint enter the tower; Steve had looked up to see you on the balcony and was following close behind. "JARVIS can you secure the channel with Tony please?"
"Channel secure, miss."
"He's here with Steve," you said with a flat tone, trying to not worry your brother so that he wouldn't rush back with Natalie. "Can you keep her occupied a bit longer?"
"Are you sure I don't need to head back there?"
You sucked in a deep breath, letting it out slowly to calm your nerves. "Don't worry, Steve will protect him."
"That's my girl."
~~~
It didn't take long for the argument to get heated, and for Steve to find himself standing between the two of you, grabbing your hands as you tried to reach around him to connect with Clint. You weren't a violent person and you detested this kind of fighting, but he just made you so angry that it exploded from you.
"You're an ignorant bastard, you know that?! You don't have a clue what you're talking about!"
"I'm not the one parading around the city hanging all over some guy like some cheap-"
"Careful, Barton," Steve interjected.
"He's my friend, you jackass!"
"Language," Steve tried again, still swatting your hands away.
"SHUT IT, ROGERS!" You both yelled at him in unison, but he didn't budge. "Dammit, Steve, just let me smack him upside his thick skull!" You knew that you would never be able to get past Steve, but that sure didn't stop you from trying.
Clint stepped closer behind Steve, taunting you. "Yeah, let her at me. I'm not scared of a girl."
The Captain turned quickly to face Clint, his face serious and his hands blindly still reaching for yours. "Don't ever underestimate a woman, Barton. Especially an angry one, trust me."
You finally dropped your arms at your sides, trying to calm yourself as your heart pounded so hard that the sound of it was almost deafening in your ears and you began to feel a bit dizzy. "Clint, Chris is my friend. He has been since high school. There never has been or ever will be anything going on. There can't be." You paused, realizing where this argument had fallen apart. "Wait, you know he's gay, right?"
You heard a stifled laugh from Steve when Clint's face went blank at what you had said, but a quick slap to his arm stopped him. You thought that would shift the argument to an end, but Clint clearly wasn't in the mood yet.
"Okay, so he's gay. Wonderful! But that still doesn't change the fact that I'm out there risking my life to save the world and you act like it's nothing."
"What am I supposed to do? Sit at home and stare out the window, pining for you, worried that you might not come back? I worry all the time! My body can't handle the stress, and I need to stay distracted." You ran your hands roughly through your hair, exasperated. "In case you hadn't noticed, we have a daughter, and I'm just barely holding it together for her."
"Of course I noticed. Don't be stupid."
There was the rage again, and Steve assumed his position as barricade when you jumped forward. "How dare you call me stupid!"
All this time, you had forgotten that the channel to Tony was still open. You had forgotten right up until the moment that Tony stepped in front of Steve to punch Clint in the jaw, knocking him to the ground.
Part 3
"This has nothing to do with you, Stark!" Clint growled, standing back up and holding his jaw. He lunged forward and pushed Tony back into the pool table, returning the punch as he had just received. "Mind your own damned business!"
Steve jumped in and pulled the two men apart; he held Clint back as you stood in front of Tony trying to calm him, and wiping the blood from his lip. "Tony," you whispered, "please, please let it go." He tried to push forward again but you stayed in his line of vision. "Hey, stop. Stop. Why don't you take your niece out to the house for the weekend, okay? I'll be fine."
"I'm not leaving you alone here with him," he said to you but was looking at Clint, who was trying to get out of Steve's grasp. "Not until he can calm down and get it together."
"What the hell do you think I'm gonna do? She's the one who was trying to hit me!"
"Someone needs to teach you some respect, and I think I might just be the man to do it," Tony sneered, his eyes still full of anger despite your attempts to distract him.
"Tony," Steve turned towards him to take control of the situation, "do what (Y/N) says, alright? Take Natalie out to the house, have a fun weekend, and let me handle things here. Okay?"
"We don't need a damn babysitter, Rogers!"
"Barton, shut the hell up." Steve said as he pushed him backwards onto the couch. "Neither of you get a say in this anymore. Captain's orders."
~~~
"But why can't we fly there with the suit?"
"Well, honey, it's a little far for you to ride along on the outside. I think you're gonna like the jet a bit more, trust me."
"Okaaaay." Natalie grabbed her little pink suitcase and dragged it along behind her, sad that she didn't get her way with Uncle Tony. She always got her way. Once she stepped onto the Stark jet, she all but forgot about some silly old suit. "That TV is bigger than the one at our house! Do we have the whole plane all by ourselves? Look at all the food you have in here! Can I have whatever I want? Are you gonna tell mom if I have a soda? Can I see where they do the flying?"
Tony laughed at her barrage of questions, happy to see her having fun when her parents were dealing with so many things that she shouldn't and couldn't know. What would they say to her if they couldn't work things out? He wouldn't be able to stand to see pain on her little face; it would shatter his heart.
"Tell you what, you pick any movie you want and I'll go grab us a snack. When I get back we can go meet the pilot before we take off." He reached down to fix the loose elastic on her braid but she shook her head and ran away, laughing at his attempt. "Hey, no running!"
"Sorry, Uncle Tony!" she squealed, but didn't slow down on her way to the extensive movie selection that awaited her. Tony pulled out his phone and considered if he should text you or not. He couldn't help but worry about you, even though you were more than capable of handling yourself. He had taken his role as big brother very seriously, and the role of uncle even more so.
Are you okay?
It felt like it took forever for a response, and he held his breath waiting for anything from you. When the reply finally came, his body relaxed as he exhaled the stress from his chest.
I'm okay. Have you left town yet?
She's picking out her movie.
Tony snapped a picture of Natalie with movies laid out across the floor of the plane. Her hair was hanging down in her face as she looked at the selection, and her tongue was sticking out from the corner of her mouth, conveying her deep concentration.
She looks happy.
Are you sure you're okay?
Steve is quite the babysitter. He sent me to my room.
What did you do?
The messages stopped again, so he waited. "Hey, sweetie, let's go take a look at what the pilot is up to so we can get going, okay?" He took her little hand in his and led the way.
I might have used some unapproved language. Again.
Tony snickered as he imagined all of the things you might have said to get punished by the Captain, most of which were likely more colorful than what had actually come from your mouth. If the worst thing that happened was a little bad language, then he knew he could relax a bit and enjoy the weekend. He felt like he had to make this visit as special as possible, not knowing what this little girls' future would hold come Monday. He choked back his emotions as he watched her soak in everything the pilot was saying, asking if she could push every button and pull every lever he described.
"Your mama says 'hi', baby. She wants you to have the best weekend ever."
~~~
You had finally drifted off to sleep when a soft knock on your door woke you. Rolling over to look, you found the clock to say only 3am; with a few mumbled profanities, you pulled the blankets off and dragged your tired body to the door. The argument with Clint had both physically and emotionally drained you to a point of fatigue that was almost painful. You rested your forehead against the door with your eyes closed, struggling to stay awake.
"What?"
There was a long pause before he answered, and you almost crawled back into bed. "Can I come in? I'll behave, I promise." Clint's voice was quiet and sad, and despite your better judgment you opened the door to face him. The tone in his voice went straight to your heart, which was never known to be trustworthy where this man was concerned.
"I don't know if that's a good idea, Clint. Or if it's part of Steve's current rules."
"Please."
You hesitated but slowly opened it to wave him in. He stepped in carefully as if he were trying to keep from touching you as he passed, and had yet to make eye contact with you. He stood by the window to look out over the city, quietly contemplating what he wanted to say.
"So, why are you here, Clint?"
You heard a long sigh, and saw his shoulders shake as he rested the palms of his hands against the window. "I'm not ready for this."
~~~
Tony zipped up the tiny wet suit and slid an equally small life jacket over Natalie, but was having trouble keeping the excited six-year-old still enough to get it done.
"Sweetheart, if you don't stand still, and I if I can't get this on, you can't go in with the dolphins. You really want to go in there, don't you?"
"More than anything!" She tried very hard to stand still, she really did, but it was so hard. "I'm trying, I promise! I just want to go so bad, Uncle Tony! Hurry up!"
He laughed and pulled her onto his lap, reaching in front to secure the zipper of the jacket. When she felt the zipper connect at the top, she squealed and ran to the edge of the pool. "Hey, slow down, kiddo! If you get hurt, your mother is gonna kill me!"
Natalie sat at the pool's edge and dangled her feet in the water, looking up at Tony to sit next to her. He sat at her side and kissed the top of her head before he slid down into the water, shivering a bit at the temperature change on his skin. He rested his hand on the water, and seconds later the dolphin came from below and pushed up against it, much to Natalie's delight.
"Can I touch her too? Can I?"
"You sure can!" The trainer led the dolphin up out of the water enough for her to reach, but she was a bit apprehensive at first, looking at Tony wide-eyed and uncertain. "Uncle Tony, can you help me?"
Every time she said his name, he couldn't help but smile and bend to her will. "Of course, baby. Come here." Tony reached around to pull her into his arms and hold her steady as she slowly reached down and felt the nose of the giant mammal. Once she finally went through with it, she couldn't get enough. By the time they were finally done, hours later, they would spend the ride back to the house laughing at the wrinkly skin covering their hands and feet.
"Your skin is always wrinkly, Uncle Tony!"
"That it is, love. That it is."
~~~
"You're not ready for what, Clint?" You were tired, exasperated, and unwilling to talk in code. You rubbed your eyes and ran your fingers through your hair, trying to remain calm. "I really need you to be specific here."
He turned around and leaned against the railing, still not making eye contact with you. The lights behind him made his silhouette dark and you couldn't make out his face. You took a few steps closer, cautiously, and saw the redness in his eyes and the puffiness in his face. "I'm trying...I've been thinking about you...and Natalie, and just all of it, and...and I'm not ready for this to be over."
"Okay?" You knew there was more, "...and?"
"And I don't want it to continue," he sighed, "not like this."
~~~
"Who's your favorite princess, sweetheart?"
"My mama!"
"Of course she is! She's mine too!" Tony laughed, "but I meant here at Disneyland. Which princess is your favorite here?"
"Hmm," Natalie hummed, holding her finger to her lips, looking deep in thought and consideration of the right answer. "I really like Cinderella!"
Tony grabbed one of the blue dresses, a crown, sparkly shoes and a wand from the shelf, "excellent choice, my dear. Let's get you ready, shall we?" He leaned down and let her link her arm in his as they walked up to the changing room. "Um, do you need help in there, or...?" He looked around for a female worker, but Natalie turned him down.
"I've got this, Uncle Tony."
He handed her the pile of clothes and raised his hands in defeat as she pushed the door shut behind her. Just seconds later, the door slowly creaked open and revealed her little face peeking out. She looked at him with a serious look in her eye and summoned him closer with her finger, leaning in close as he knelt down by her. "Maybe stay close in case I need your help, but don't make a big deal out of it."
"Yes, ma'am."
Several minutes later she emerged, fully clad in head-to-toe Cinderella garb. He gasped at the sight of her, grabbing her hand and spinning her around so he could see her. "You're such a beautiful princess, Natalie. Do you know that?" His voice cracked just a bit, and he had to push back the tears threatening his sight. "You're just the most beautiful girl ever."
"Uncle Tony, why are you crying?" Her lip pouted out and he squeezed his hand tightly as she stared at him with worried eyes. "Did I do something wrong?"
"Oh, baby, no." He picked her up into a tight hug and spun her around, "No, you have never done anything wrong. You are my favorite person in the whole world, and I love you so much that sometimes I just can't hold it all in."
"Oh, okay." She put her hand on his face and kissed his cheek. "You're my favorite too. But can we go on rides now?"
~~~
Did she have a good time?
Tony snapped another picture, this time of Natalie sound asleep on his lap with the end of Cinderella playing in the background.
Thank you, Tony. She loves you a lot.
I love this kid more than anything, you know that. And you.
I need you to bring her home in the morning, if you can.
Are things okay?
We can talk more when you get here.
Tony took a deep breath and closed his eyes, resting his head back against the couch. He almost didn't want to know anything now so that he didn't have to try to hide something from Natalie. She was so intuitive that she would surely know something was going on.
Are you okay?
By the time Tony fell asleep on the couch, with Natalie still asleep on his lap, you had yet to answer him.
Part 4
"Mama!"
Natalie ran full speed into your arms as soon as she saw you and jumped out of the elevator, Tony in tow with bags of souvenirs from her big weekend. You bent down to pick her up, but the force of her falling into your arms knocked you both back onto the floor, erupting into laughter and kisses.
"Hi, sweetie!" You sat back up and brought her to sit on your lap, but she jumped up again and ran to Tony. Even after the busy weekend, the kid was nothing but a ball of energy, and you could only find yourself a bit jealous of it. "Did you have a good time with your Uncle Tony?"
"It was the best ever! Look at all my new stuff!" She pulled the bags out of his hands and ran back to you, tipping them upside down so everything spilled out all over the floor. "I go so much Cinderella stuff, and a safari hat from the zoo, and binoculars from when we saw the tigers, and this big dolphin after we swam around with them, and..."
She kept going, itemizing every last thing that Tony had bought for her as you looked up at him, feeling nothing but love for your big brother and the dorky smile he had on his face while watching Natalie tell you about it all. After a moment he noticed you watching him rather than your daughter, and his expression changed to one of sadness; you knew that this whole situation was weighing on him almost as much as it was on you.
"And look! We found this really cool Avengers t-shirt at Disney too!" Natalie pulled it over her head and spun around to show it off. "Uncle Tony is on a t-shirt! He's so cool!"
"Yes, honey, Uncle Tony is very cool!" You laughed as you reached up for him to pull you from the floor, "but don't tell him that, he'll just try to show off."
"Hey, I heard that."
"Well, I said it loud."
You noticed your brother's posture shift and straighten when Clint entered the room to welcome Natalie home. You linked your arm in his to keep him next to you, resting your head on his shoulder when you felt his hand lay gently over yours.
"Hey, baby! You're home!" Clint held out his arms for Natalie to eagerly run into them, spinning her in the air as she tightly squeezed his neck. "I missed you so much! It sure looks like you've got your uncle wrapped around your finger." He glanced up at Tony with a small smile and a nod, thanking him without actually bringing himself to say it.
"Daddy, come look at everything with me!"
"Natalie, I'm gonna go with Uncle Tony to talk for just a bit while you show daddy everything, okay?"
She nodded her head, barely acknowledging that she heard you, too immersed in the stories she was telling Clint. You took it as good enough and led your brother to the bar for some privacy.
"Alright, let's have it," Tony said as he grabbed two glasses and began to pour each of you a drink. "You never texted me back last night."
"Yeah, sorry about that." You grabbed the drink from his hands and threw it back, handing him the empty glass for a refill. He looked at you blankly and took the glass, readily fulfilling your request.
"That bad?"
Making it a point to remember that your daughter was home, and getting drunk wasn't likely the best idea, you took the next glassful and held it in your hands, watching the liquid move as you swirled it around. It was almost tranquilizing to watch. "Clint and I talked for a long time last night. He doesn't want to lose us, but he doesn't want things to go on like they are." You paused, reflecting on the conversation and considering your words, "and I agree with him."
Tony's first glassful was still untouched as he watched you. His hands were shaking just slightly enough for you to see, and you saw him glance back and forth from you to Clint as you spoke. "So, what does that mean exactly?" He asked, "What happens next? To you and Natalie?"
You finally gave in and threw the drink back again in one hard swallow. You cringed at the feeling of the alcohol burning your throat, grimacing a bit as you finally spoke.
"Can we stay here for a while?"
~~~
Clint sat in the living room of your apartment while you packed a few things to take to the tower, sniffling a bit when he heard Natalie arguing with you about why you both couldn't stay home with her daddy.
"Baby, it's only for a really short time."
"I don't care."
"Don't you want to stay at Uncle Tony's? You love it there."
"Well...yeah. I want to stay with Uncle Tony, but I want daddy to stay with us."
You sighed, trying to maintain your composure and trying to remember that she could only understand so much at her age and without you making things even worse for her. "I know you do, honey. And you'll see daddy if he has to come to work. Mommy and daddy just need a few days to work on a few things by themselves, that's all."
She threw her suitcase on the ground, it's contents spilling everywhere. She stormed out of her room and ran to Clint. "Tell me why you aren't coming with us! Tell me why we can't stay here! I'm not stupid, daddy. Tell me!" Her breathing changed and tears started to fall, but she refused him when he tried to pick her up.
"Baby, settle down." He looked up at you for help as you walked into the room, but you stood solid against the wall and offered nothing. This was as much for him to deal with as it was for you, and it would take a team effort to either make things okay or to make things move on from each other. "Alright, listen," he wiped a small tear from her cheek, "hey, you need to calm down before I say anything."
She took in a tiny, shaky breath and nodded her head. She closed her eyes and exhaled slowly, "okay, daddy. I'm ready."
"You're such a big girl, you know that?"
She nodded again, "I know. That's what Uncle Tony says all the time."
Clint huffed at the mention of your brother, but continued, "mommy and daddy have been having a lot of fights lately, so we want to take a few days away from each other to think about everything."
"You guys don't love each other anymore, right?"
Shit. That was the question that you were dreading; the question that you didn't know how to answer in a way that a six-year-old would understand. You stood straighter and listened intently to what Clint would say. It was something that the two of you hadn't even talked about yet.
"Baby, no. I love your mama more than anything in the whole world," he paused to look up at you, seeing the shocked expression on your face. "I love you more than anything in the world. You two are the only things that matter, okay?"
"Okay. But then why are we leaving?"
He took a long sigh as he thought of the best way to answer her, but she was growing impatient when his words never came. She looked up at you, hoping that you would at least be able to tell her something, anything that would make this okay. You looked at Clint, who looked like a shell of the man you met all those years ago; his face was sad and his body looked all but defeated. You couldn't let Natalie see her big, strong daddy this way; she looked up to him too much for her to see him as anything close to a bad guy. You knew you had to take the hit this time.
"Because mommy needs to decide if she still loves daddy that much too, sweetheart."
~~~
The first and second nights were rough, but the third night was the hardest. Natalie was actually doing better than you had expected, but you were certain that it was all because Tony had stepped up as the uncle of the century and kept her so busy. No, she wasn't the problem at all; it was you. You were already beginning to unravel, questioning anything that was said, anything you brought to life in your head, and anything that Clint texted to you, mostly during the middle of the night when his bed was cold and the apartment was silent.
You had been lying in your bed for hours. When you rolled to look at the clock, it was already 4 am and you hadn't slept for almost two days now. You unconsciously laid your hand on the other side of the bed, closing your eyes when you too felt the cold sheets, remembering that no one was there. How could two people go from inseparable to separated both physically and emotionally in such a short time? How could the person who was the love of your life become the one you questioned a future with? How had your body not shut down and slept by now?
The questions had to stop before they drove you insane. You grabbed your phone and returned the favor of the late night text that had kept you awake the past two nights.
I've started to miss you.
It took you three days to miss me? So, he was awake too.
I've missed you for years, Clint.
Damn. That's harsh.
It's hard to be here. It's hard to spend time with the team again.
You blame me, don't you? I know Tony does.
I would still be a part of it if you hadn't insisted I stay home with Natalie.
We can't both be at risk. You know that.
Doesn't make it any less difficult. I miss it.
I know. We miss you being there.
~~~
The next morning you woke much too early to the sound of a loud knock on your door. "JARVIS, please tell me who has the balls to bang on my door at this time of day?"
"It's Mr. Stark, miss."
"Tony, you risk murder. You know that, don't you?" You grabbed your pajama pants and dragged yourself to the door, lazily pulling it open to peek your head out and to display your best angry expression. "This better be good, Stark."
"So," he sighed, "you have any idea what this is all about?" He held up his phone right next to your face; you grabbed his hand and pushed it back a bit, squinting at the small print on the screen. Your eyes widened once you realized what he was showing you. It was a text from Clint.
Mr. Stark, I would like to request permission to date your sister, if you find me worthy.
Part 5
"Mama, you look really pretty. Not as pretty as Cinderella, but really pretty."
"Well, thank you sweetheart. I don't think anyone is as pretty as Cinderella."
"Those people must be totally blind." Tony walked up behind you and reached around to grab your hand, spinning you around to see you. "Because, kid, you're a sight. Absolutely perfect."
"You're biased."
"When is daddy gonna be heeeeere?"
"Any minute now, baby. Any minute now." Your nerves started to get the best of you and your hands began to shake just a bit. You checked your hair and make up for the millionth time and reconsidered your dress once more. "Do I really look okay, or are you just trying to make me feel better about this?"
"Here," Tony said, grabbing his phone to snap a picture. "Pose like you mean it, big smile...there. Now, let's get a few opinions, shall we?"
"Tony, don't do it. Don't you dare."
"Too late!" He giggled as he walked away, and you heard the messages coming in almost immediately. "See? Steve said you look very classy. But of course he would say that. Okay, Banner said that color looks great on you. Well, I think he'd say that about any color other than green, to be honest." He shook his head, clearly unhappy with the proper responses he was getting.
"(Y/N), you look exquisite this evening. You put every woman in all the realms to shame."
"Thor! Thank you!" Tony held up his hand for a high-five from the Asgardian, but Thor passed by him and went straight to you. He took your hand and brought it to his lips for a soft kiss, and you could feel your cheeks flush at the attention he was giving you.
When Natalie heard Thor's voice she ran full speed towards him from the kitchen, squealing the whole way. "Uncle Thor! Why are you here? Did you come to see me? You did right?" He knelt down to grab her as she ran into his arms, spinning her around and lifting her to sit on his massive shoulders. "You're so tall! I can see everything up here!"
"Hello, little monkey! Yes, I did come to see you, so what activities shall we partake in on this lovely evening?"
"You talk funny."
You and Tony laughed at the kid's honesty, while Thor took off to run around the room with her holding on to his neck with all of her might. "Man, I love that kid." Tony glanced at his watch just as Clint arrived to pick you up. "Wow, he's right on time. He really is trying to impress me, isn't he?" He leaned in to plant a quick kiss on your cheek and grabbed your arm to lead you out.
"Bye, baby! Mama will be back later. Behave!" There was no reply, just the sounds of shrieking laughter from all around as Thor continued to run with her. Once you made it outside, you saw Clint standing next to his car with flowers in hand. He looked good. He looked really good.
"Barton."
"Mr. Stark."
You rolled your eyes at the new formalities, "okay, so that's not weird." You took the flowers from Clint and handed them to Tony. "Thank you, they're beautiful. Tony, could you?" Your brother helped you into the car and pushed the bottom of your dress in so it wouldn't get caught in the door. He leaned in close as Clint walked around to the driver's seat.
"I'm a call away, alright?" You gave him a silent nod, and he shut the door but never took his eyes off you as the car pulled away.
~~~
"So, Mr. Barton, where are we headed this evening?"
"You're stunning, you know that?
"Thanks," you whispered, looking down at your shaking hands and trying to will them to stop. "I was worried. I haven't been on a date in a while."
"That's gonna change. If you decide you'd like to see me again, of course." Clint chuckled under his breath and straightened his tie, "we're going over to Brooklyn, but I'm not giving it all away up front. You'll have to be patient."
You sat back in the seat and leaned your head against the rest, lazily watching the city streets pass by. It was hypnotic to watch and you actually had to fight to keep your eyes open with the lack of conversation happening. "So Clint, what's your play?"
He sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly, grasping the steering wheel just a little tighter. "Atonement."
~~~
Natalie had finally agreed to watch her movie, anxiously waiting for Thor and her uncle to return with the popcorn and ice cream that they had promised her. Thor had set Mjolnir on the table so that it wouldn't be in the way, but she always managed to run past it, just close enough that he worried she might run into it and get hurt somehow.
"Young lady, please sit. I don't want you to injure yourself."
"Sorry Uncle Thor!"
Thor turned to Tony as they filled the final bowls of popcorn, "Why does she call me that? We are of no relation."
"She calls all the guys uncle, but I'm the only real one. I guess she's just been around us all so much that she has an affection for you." He grabbed Thor's shoulder and pushed him out towards the couch, squeezing his arm just a bit when he heard the rumble from his fatigued friend. "It's only for a couple of hours; don't worry."
"Okay, baby. Here we go! We've got everything that your mama doesn't want you to have, so where should we start?"
Natalie got up quickly to grab a bowl to put her food in, but her foot kicked the bottom of the table as she stood and spilled her juice everywhere. Tony jumped up first, running to the kitchen for a towel. Natalie saw the liquid running towards Thor's hammer, so she yelled for him, but a bit too late.
"Uncle Thor! You're hammer is gonna get all sticky!" She moved next to it and wrapped her two tiny hands around the handle. She grunted a little, but lifted it off the table and set it on the floor next to his feet. "There you go! That was close!" Natalie smiled up at him, proud of her fast actions, but her face quickly sank when she didn't get the same response from him.
"Uncle Thor?" He only sat staring at her in complete shock, no sign of life other than his breathing. "Uncle Thor?" Natalie looked all around him, inspecting for some reason why he might not be responding to her.
"Uncle Tony!" She yelled, "I think I broke Uncle Thor!"
~~~
Clint held your hand as you walked to your table, and you gasped at the view before you. The café windows faced the Manhattan skyline; as you took it all in, Clint had no interest in it. He was watching you, watching your expression change from surprise to amazement, admiring you as the city lights lit up in your eyes. He was a man remembering all that he had missed, and wondered how he let things get so far.
"Have you ever seen anything so gorgeous?" You asked, looking at him for the first time, seeing that his attention was on you.
"Never," he whispered, then swallowed hard to find his voice again. He stepped behind you to pull out your chair and waited for you to sit, "my lady."
You laughed at his formality, something Clint was certainly never known for, "spending too much time with Thor, I see?" You sat down as he gently pushed the chair beneath you, smoothing out the material of your dress with hands that were still shaking. "I must really be nervous."
"About what? About this? About me?" He looked like he had gone from confident to now joining you in your worry. He turned to look out the window and leaned back in his chair, contemplating his next words. "I don't want you to be nervous around me, (Y/N). I don't want you to see me as anything other than the man who loves you."
You took a deep breath, feeling those words sting your heart in a way you hadn't expected. "Clint, do you think that I don't love you anymore?"
"You told Natalie that you needed to decide." He still wasn't looking at you, but rather down at the table now. His hand nervously spun a fork over and over, his anticipation of how this night would go beginning to take him over. "So I guess I assumed that you didn't."
"I said that so that she wouldn't see you as the bad guy, Clint." You too then leaned back in your chair and looked out at the night sky. "You're her hero, literally and figuratively as it turns out. No matter what's been going on with us, I would never let her see you any other way."
You heard a small sniffle from him as he wiped his eyes. After the server had delivered your drinks and had taken your order, you both sat silently for several minutes, waiting for the other to make the next move.
"I said I didn't want it to continue this way."
"I remember."
"It was just the other day when I realized what that actually meant. I don't want to be the man you're seeing me as, but as the man that you know I am." Clint leaned in closer, his elbows supporting him on the small table, "I'm not jealous; I know you aren't doing anything with anyone else. I know that."
"Okay, then what-"
"I'm away so much with work that my mind just does things, ya know? I never see you anymore, and I can't stand being away from Natalie so much. I think it all just took its toll and my mind ran with it. I spend a lot of time in my own head, and it can get pretty lonely in there."
He had never said anything like that to you before, and you had no idea that he was struggling with his role with the Avengers. "Honey, you don't have to do this. You don't have to. Steve would understand, even if you just needed a break." You reached your hand over the table, and he took it willingly, holding it within both of his as if he were clinging to you so you wouldn't disappear.
"I've already talked to Steve."
"Okay?"
"He's going to send me in only when he absolutely has to." He looked up at you briefly, then looked out the window again. "He said he would do the same for you."
~~~
Tony had spend the last twenty minutes trying to convince Thor that it was okay that Natalie could pick up Mjolnir. "Come on, she's just a kid. Of course she's worthy! She hasn't had time to do anything that would make her unworthy. Wait till she hits her teenage years and I'm certain she won't have a chance."
"No, it's more than that. It's who she is, not what she's done." Thor rubbed his chin and nodded his head once he had made his decision. "I want to take her to Asgard."
"Well, it's on you to explain this to her parents. I'm out. They get pissed anytime I mention building her a suit." He walked away and waved his hand dismissively, "I don't know why they bother thinking that kid's gonna have a shot at a normal life."
~~~
"What do you mean, he'll do the same for me?" Your heart began to race with excitement, hoping he meant what you thought he meant. "Clint? Do I get to rejoin the team?"
"Whenever you're ready. We just can't go on missions together, obviously. If that can't be avoided then Tony has to sit out, being her godfather and all, just in case."
Your laughter was out loud and infectious. Tears began to form as you continued, and Clint couldn't help but take part in your joy. He loved to see you like this, and it was all that he had wanted this night to be. "So I take it that's a good reaction?"
"It's a good reaction!" You jumped up from your chair and ran around the table towards him. He stood to catch you in his arms, pulling you in closely and breathing you in as you continued to laugh. "Thank you, baby. Thank you."
"Oh! There's one more thing." He pulled back from the hug, but held your hands in his as he spoke. "We've been together for years now, and I said I didn't want things to continue as they are, but it's more than just work." He took one of his hands back and reached into his pocket, removing it quickly to produce a small box. "I don't want things to continue as they are. I want to continue as your husband, if you'll have me. If you'll let me prove to you that I'm still the man you fell in love with, not that guy that's acted like nothing but a jerk lately. Will you let me?"
You had never talked about marriage before; your life together was committed and it had been enough. Even when Natalie was born, the two of you never considered needing it. But now here it was, and your heart needed it. You needed to be joined to this man and belong to each other. There wasn't a second of doubt to your answer.
"Of course I will," you whispered.
As he slipped the gorgeous diamond ring over your finger, he smiled and glanced at you, "Thank god. Tony took way more convincing than you did."
~~~
When you returned to the tower, you found the two men asleep on the couches, Natalie still wide awake and watching the Lion King with a huge bowl of ice cream in her lap. She squealed when she saw you and ran full speed to jump into your arms.
"What? What happened? I'm awake!" Tony bolted up at the sound and looked around frantically with wide eyes until he reoriented himself to where he was. "Oh, it's just you guys." He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and slapped Thor on the arm as he walked by. "Hey Thor, rise and shine."
A low growl came from Thor as he rolled over away from the lights and sounds of the room. "Who dares to wake the son of Odin?" he mumbled as sleep took him once again.
You handed Natalie to Clint, who eagerly returned the crushing hug she had clamped around his neck. "I missed you daddy! Do we get to go home now?" She turned towards you, looking explicitly for your left hand. "Yes! We do!"
"Wait, did you know about this too? Was it everyone but me?"
"Mama, I got to pick it out! Daddy said I had to find the perfect one, so we drove all around the city and looked everywhere until I found it! Do you like it?"
"I love it, baby. Thank you." You gave her a kiss on her cheek as Clint continued to hold her. "So what did you and the superheroes do tonight?"
"We watched a bunch of movies, Uncle Tony gave me popcorn and ice cream and chocolate milk, then I broke Uncle Thor when I picked up his hammer thingy, then we played on the Xbox, and then Uncle Thor said something to Uncle Tony about taking me somewhere really far away on a trip and it would be over a dead body..."
By now Thor had woken and was standing next to Tony. As Natalie continued her story, he noticed the change in expressions on both you and Clint and became worried for his own personal safety.
"I do think it's time to take my leave." He began to slowly back away, his hands raised in front of him. "Perhaps this isn't as important to pursue as I had once thought." His steps quickened when he saw Clint hand Natalie to you and move towards him. Seconds later, the two men had broken into a run.
Natalie laughed at the sight, trying to jump down from your grasp. "Mama, can I play tag with daddy and Uncle Thor too?"