Rachel's POV
Holy shit.
Harry's kisses have slowed, and I'm pretty sure he heard the yell from the phone's speaker but there's no way he knows who that yell came from, and it doesn't look like he's stopping his assault any time soon, but he has to. I swat at his tickling hands harsher this time, whispering his name for him to stop and he looks up to me to know what's wrong.
"Harry, you have to stop," I whisper as quiet as I can.
"Why?" he asks aloud and I cringe internally.
My mother scoffs into the speaker, and I know I'm ready for a mouthful. "You are worse than I thought," she spits, and I struggle to sit up under Harry's body and he assists by sliding off me. Immediately I rush the phone to my ear.
"Rachel--"
"Shh!" I warn him. If he talks again, makes another peep, we both will be in more trouble. I rise from the sofa, beginning to button up Harry's shirt that hangs from my body, holding the phone between my neck and ear. "Hello mo-"
"Ohhh no, don't hello us. I'm glad your father and I decided to call when we did. Who knows what would have happened if we hadn't interrupted you and that punk you've allowed yourself to let screw you over," she seethes.
Here we go again..
"You have no clue what you're talking about," I start to pace back and forth.
My mother is such a stubborn woman, more stubborn than Harry when he's on his mood swings, she's basically the most stubborn person I know. I don't know about my father, I haven't heard his side to this argument, heck I don't know why I haven't heard his yelling voice, but I won't doubt his opinion is that different from my mother's. It just pisses me off how she can make such bad assumptions, when she's damn clueless.
"Oh darling," her prudish voice snakes me away from my thoughts, "I'm not as naive as you, I've had experience in the real world."
I can't help but copy her scoff that she made for me right back at her. "So have I, probably more than you considering I've moved halfway across the world."
"R-Rachel?" Harry questions me but before I can hush him again my mom chimes in.
"Ah, well your naïveté shows again there you see, as that appears to have been a stupid mistake. Also it seems your common sense has escaped you. How dare you not alert your father and I about your broken foot!"
I let out a long sigh, rolling my eyes wishing she could see as I mutter under my breath,"It wasn't broken.."
"Having to find out from your aunt and uncle?" she continues. "You will never make such a dumb mistake again, Rachel. Lord only knows what idiotic thing you did to hurt it so badly. How could you not tell your own parents first? Who could have possibly been the first to know, than your parents?"
"Dammit, it's healed, okay? I got the proper treatment, I'm walking and dancing again, so end of story!" I raise my voice, beating around the bush of her last question.
"Rachel, who is this?" Harry stands, as my anger comes off in waves. I can see in his eyes that worry is beginning to show.
My mother catches on however, her sassy laughter ringing in my ear and I can't pay attention to Harry. "That's nice that it's healed sweetheart," the pet name makes me nearly want to puke, bringing back bad memories of my past with him.
"But you've ignored my question. And with this proper treatment, who could have paid for all this? The sugar daddy you've acquired who can't seem to mind his own business at the moment? He should learn how to let a girl talk on the phone for a minute.."
I feel the heat through my veins, my blood boiling inside. "What do you think I am, a slut?! You think I'm a horrible person?! Yes, he was the first to know! And I can pay for myself dammit!" I'm starting to lose it, the tears she's stimulating are building up in my eyes as I begin to pace faster. Harry only paid because he wouldn't freaking let me. No way in hell am I telling her the full story.
Harry steps closer and reaches out, "Baby?"
"Harry, please wait," I practically beg him, for both of our sakes. My voice is whiny, and I hate how her put downs are making me weak.
The woman speaks up, "Harry, is it? Why on earth would you have told Harry about this first? You think he actually cares, don't you? Gosh I thought you'd learn by now. I thought after our last talk, 'Oh, maybe she'll realize it the hard way since she's so blindsided by this..person.' I thought I should call back after a few weeks, but wow, it seems that wall that's blinded you only got taller.."
I'm speechless, actually speechless. I can just picture her smug grin on the other line, her grin of victory.
"Rachel, please tell me who this is on the phone," Harry is getting fed up with a guessing game I suppose he's trying to figure out in his head, and seeing me cry is making him even more frustrated.
"He must be good at this game he's having you play..acting like he actually gives a shi--"
That's it.
"How dare you.." I laugh, I don't know why it came out as a laugh, but it did. "You are the one who is blindsided, blindsided by this stereotype, or standard, or whatever you have against him. I love him! We are a couple, and if you knew a thing about him, you would understand why."
It makes me sick, if she actually knew he was a celebrity, in like the most famous band of all time, she would have so much more respect for him. It makes me disgusted. If she knew the real him, how caring, and loving he is, I think she would change her mind.
My mother cackles on the line, "Love?! Oh my it's even worse than I imagined! You poor child, you've fallen into the trap," every word of hers seems to drag a tear out of my eyes. "Good thing Jacob is willing to take you back."
My hands shoot up to my mouth, to cover the scream, or maybe it is the puke, or even both. The phone nearly slips from my fingertips, and I find myself feeling lightheaded, as if I was in a horror film, and the murderer has entered the room I've been hiding in for so long, that all my hiding seems pointless, because finally, it's my time.
The feeling of Harry's subtle touch is enough to make my body flinch from his, and my mind comes back to reality, and I feel the tears coming down my cheeks like a running river. Harry's brows are furrowed and he has sympathetic eyes as I shake my head towards him and suddenly speed walk out of the room, to his room, then locking myself in his bathroom.
"Rachel?" I hear lightly from him.
I take quick, silent breaths, all the air in the room seemingly disappearing, leaving me with nothing. "Wh..what did you just tell m-me?" my voice is shaky, unrecognizable.
"Jacob is happy to take you back, dear. I spoke with him recently--"
"What?" I'm shocked, honestly. The times I told her, told her to never speak to him again, she actually doesn't even listen. "I told you--"
"Yes I know, but honestly Rachel he's such a lovely boy, we got to know him so well.. He was perfect for you, wealthy enough to take care of you, educated.."
"You've talked to him more than once haven't you.." I bring my hand to my face, massaging my temple and ready to pull my hair out and pass out.
"He asks how you are, he misses you, that's the only reason why we talk, darling," she's literally acting like this is fucking normal, and I'm here wanting to destroy everything in sight right now.
"You talk, to my ex boyfriend, about me? What the hell?!" I scream, grabbing my hairbrush from the bathroom counter and slamming it to the ground, just needing something to throw.
"Rachel?!" Harry sounds through the door, jingling the locked doorknob.
"Tell me you haven't told him where I am, mother. Tell me! Dammit I swear.." I threaten.
"No! No, of course not, I respected that unusual request of yours."
"Mother," I grit my teeth, "if you have any decent damn bone in your body, you will stop talking to him. Do it for me. Let me live my damn life too, if you love me any, care about my well being at all, you'll let me be, and just do your job as a parent. Just, support me, love me, and do not be so judgmental!"
"Of course we support you, but limiting it to that? That's not a parent, Rachel," she laughs.
"Then don't be one! I can't live with you like this!" I shout as I hear Harry beg me to open the door over and over.
The line is silent, except for my lame, weak sniffling and Harry trying to get through. After a couple of minutes, she answers, her voice stern. "Fine. Just don't come crawling to me when he hurts you.." Then the line goes off, she having hung up, and I can't help but let out the scream I've held in, and let the tears swallow me up. It's a scream the neighbors can hear for sure, louder than I expected.
The door suddenly breaks through, Harry holding a key, his eyes instantly meeting my body, and I feel ready to fall, the fight with the murderer over, and I took the defeat.
Harry's POV
"Rachel! Please unlock this!" I shout over her screaming, digging recklessly through my dresser for the bathroom key.
She won't answer, she won't stop screaming. I don't know what's going on, but I haven't seen her cry this hard, or get this angry. I just wish she would answer. I want to know who the hell is talking to her on the phone and ruining the happy moment we had. She was so fucking happy this morning, we both were.
A loud crash of something hitting the floor makes me jump and finally I find two keys in a drawer. Which one is the question. I lunge to the door, trying the first key, my shaky hands unable to get the damn key in. Then I fucking realize it's the wrong one.
"Rachel!" I yell, when I hear her talking end, but she still ignores me. I throw the other key to the ground and try the next one. When it finally fits into the lock, I hear her scream the most awful scream, and I need to get to her right now.
Once the handle finally moves, I burst through the door, meeting her eyes. Her red, teary eyes. Rachel's hands shake as she moves the phone away from her ear, and she's just staring off into space.
"Angel.." I sigh, taking a step closer.
Suddenly her breathing begins to quicken, and she's gasping for air. I rush to her side but she dodges me and goes to the toilet, opening it rapidly and kneeling down to throw up. All she does is continue to gasp for air however, and I find myself at her side, holding her hair gently behind her and trying all in my power to calm her down from this panic attack she's having. Every cough, horrible sounding gasp, scream, and her quivering body has me frightened. I rub her back, whispering endlessly that she will be okay as I take notice of her white knuckles that clench tightly to the rim of the toilet seat. I don't know if she is going to be okay.
We sit here in front of the toilet for..minutes, until her breathing gets under control. Slowly, she retracts her body from the toilet and grasps for my arms. Rachel isn't hyperventilating anymore but the tears are still streaming down her cheeks. I take us back to lean against the wall behind us, and she turns and lies on her side, laying her body over mine. I feel her tears on my chest, as her breathing becomes quieter and quieter. I kiss her forehead, giving her body a small squeeze so she knows I'm here. I'm definitely here and not letting go.
* * *
I'm not sure how long it's been. I'm sure she's sleeping, she's snoring lightly, her body is warmer, and I sigh from relief. As careful as I can, I take her into my arms and get up from the ground. I'm lucky not to wake her up as I carry her to the the bed and lie her down. I reach around to grab her adorable fluffy pajama pants from the chair in my room and return back to her and find her waking up.
I help her sit up, and she suddenly begins to cry.
"Rachel, baby.." I take her in my arms and hug her closely. She shakes her head and I step back to look at her.
"I'm so sorry, it..it was my mother. I-I just.." I wipe away my tears.
"Would you, would you like to tell me--"
"No.." Rachel reaches for my hand, "Please..I can't.."
"Okay, okay, come on. You are okay now, you're safe. I'm here, and nothing..no one..whatever it is will hurt you. Let me help you, yeah?"
She nods, lying back down. Gently, I slide her pants over her beautiful soft legs, gliding them up, over her underwear and the waistband to her waist. Her body feels heavy, and she's not wanting to move. I know that it's early in the day, but if she wants to nap, I'll be here, holding her in my arms. I climb up the bed next to her, covering ourselves with the covers as she leans into my chest, sniffling here and there. I just wish I knew what was going on, so I could help her better.
Rachel's POV
I don't understand. I don't understand any of it.
Why couldn't my mother just listen to me? How long have her and Jacob been communicating? He misses me? Does he know I'm involved? Is..is he actually better?
I shouldn't care, I don't. But I can't get it out of my head. I actually had a panic attack, that's how my body chose to respond. It was weird, going through one of those again. I never had someone like Harry there with me through one. It's been months, months since I felt that panicking feeling, my body becoming numb, that sickening torture. I didn't think I'd feel it again.
Knowing Jacob has any clue about my life at the moment makes me want to cry, scream, faint, or simply disappear. That would be nice, to get away from the world. To forget my worries, my demons, my problems, and be free, happy even. I doubt I could do it forever, or maybe even at all. I realize Harry is the only reason I have for keeping myself here. I don't seem to have a family anymore. If Harry left me, I'd be done for. I can't take that much heartbreak.
As I sigh into Harry's arms, he tightens his hold around me. Realization hits me hard again, and I begin to sob.
"Love, please don't cry anymore," Harry coos, planting his lips on my forehead.
"I think.." I croak, "I think I just lost my relationship with my parents. I...I'm disowned."
There's no way, I literally just gave it all up. Everything. They will cut me off, teach me the hard way, and I doubt I'll even get back any support. I bet she will tell Jacob to come and get me, and he will return, and take me away from Harry, never to be heard of again. I bet he's been lying to my mom, like he did with me. I'll go back to the way I was, the way it used to be. I'll fade out, ceasing to exist under his control. I'll go back to the sick cycle, broken again after being taped back together by Harry. If my mother knew anything of what Jacob actually did to me, she probably would call me a liar, or be angry at me for some reason. Hell, she'd make it my fault somehow.
As afraid as I am to lose my family, I'm a million times more frightened to be back in Jacob's radar, and even more afraid of Harry finding any of this out. I will continue to do everything in my willpower to keep him from knowing.
Why not just tell him, make it easier, and not keep the secret? I don't want to be looked at differently. I'll be too much for him, he'd leave me, and like I said, I'd be done for. No one knows, except my friend back in the states, and Jacob obviously. No one will ever know, because I can't lose anyone else.
It's never going to end, is it? The pain, the haunting of my past, the fear. It's really never going to go away?
I feel like some of this has helped me, helped me figure out my decision I need to make.
"H..Harry?"
"Yes, Rach?"
"I think..I think it's best if I don't move in here. I should move back tomorrow."