"Where the fuck am I?" Billie rolled into his dream quite smoothly, dragging himself around and taking extreme notice of every detail. "And why is this place so colorful?"
He had made himself straight into the inverted colored world with a confused smile.
"This is definitely a change of pace from my usual shithole," he pointed out, referring to the muted ghost town that he would normally end up in. His feet brought him through a path of tall yellow trees with black flowers all around him. Eventually an opening came into sight, and the shadow of two people were in the distance.
"Hey, who the fuck are you?!" He demanded from afar. The shadows were communicating with one each other, but he couldn't see the actual people. "I know you can hear me, punks!" No reply. "I'm comin' after yah!"
He began to sprint toward them in curiosity, but what he found was not what he expected. His legs shook as he was taken a back with dilated eyes and misunderstanding.
"You did it again, didn't you?"
"Did what again?"
"Don't bullshit me, Lay. Just admit you did it."
Billie raised his hand to scratch his head. Is this really me right now? Is this a vision? Did Layla really have this dream one night? Can they not see me?
"Hey, guys! It's me!" Real Billie had yelled to get their attention, but they didn't flinch.
Other Billie was leaned up against a tree with his frizzy spiked hair blowing in the wind, arms crossed and a look of complete disappointment.
"Excuse me?" Layla shot back.
"You took another pill tonight, didn't you?" He waited a second for a response, but when she failed to comply he continued on. "I can't believe you would do that, especially after I told you not to."
"Another pill? What is he talking about?" Real Billie questioned.
"I'd apologize, but I'm not sorry. I needed to see you. I have something to tell you."
"Layla, what can I say to you to get you to understand that taking pills to be with me is not worth it?"
"Layla!" Real Billie marched up closer to them, staring her straight in the eyes without her even knowing. "What is he talking about?" She didn't answer. Her innocent and worried face gleamed a certain sadness that he was unused to dealing with. "Layla!" He grabbed her shoulders and tried to shake her into responding. "What is he talking about, Layla?! Answer me!"
"You can't say anything. You can't do anything. I need you and that's that. That's the end of it. Just let it be, for God's sake!" She backed up and took a breath to keep her calm.
"You're stubborn."
"I'm aware," she acknowledged.
"I'm never going to let it go, Layla. As long as you use pills to see me, you're going to hear about it."
What pills? Layla didn't tell me about any pills! She mentioned rehab once or twice, but I thought that was because she thought she was crazy and so did her family. Was she abusing drugs? Holy shit...no, I can't go through with this. I can't let myself go on knowing I was responsible for fucking her up.
"Layla...can you hear me?" He whimpered. "Please, Layla!" He looked her straight on, but she was too infatuated with other Billie. His presence was unknown.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Can I tell you what I had to say now?" Other Billie groaned and laid down in the grass. "Billie, you okay?"
"I'm okay. I'm just kind of fed up."
"Of what?"
"Of not knowing anything. Feeling stuck and not being able to get out. How did things get so fucked up? How did we end up in Boston that day? Why you? Why me? All these things I just want to fucking understand, yah know? But I can't. And it's fucking annoying. I just want to relax. Watch these motherfucking clouds in silence, yah know."
"And I thought you were supposed to be my better half," Real Billie spat in response to his dream self. "Are you just going to sit there and complain? Why don't you get off your lazy ass and do something! Fake it at the least! This young lady needs confidence! She needs to be told that everything will be okay! That it's all worth it just for her! She doesn't need your shit!" His anger swelled up inside him as he lectured himself with not a speck of appreciation in return. "If you thought bullshitting was going to save you, you're sadly mistaken!"
"Oh...." Layla trailed off.
"See!" Real Billie signaled. "Now you've upset her!"
"I'm sorry. I wish things could go back to the way they were."
"I told you! She wishes....wait," at the very exact moment real and dream Billie both in shock responded with a surprised "You do?"
"Of course I do! I was totally satisfied with just being a Green Day fan, happy go lucky and independent. Now I'm addicted to seeing you, anxious all the time, and dependent on any substance that'll calm me down. I'm a wreck, and I feel bad for you."
For me? How could you possibly feel bad for me?
"Why do you feel bad for me?" Dream Billie asked.
"That's the first smart thing you've asked all day," Real Billie snickered.
"Because you're stuck with me."
"See what you do!" Real Billie shouted. He raised his head and looked up at the sky. "Have you had enough? Is my torture just pure entertainment to you? Can I go home now? I don't know who the fuck I'm talking to, but if you could stop fucking with my head it'd be highly appreciated!"
Seconds later a portal opened up not far from the commotion. Real Billie strutted away from the scene at hand.
"We've got a lot to talk about, Layla," Real Billie spoke while walking away, not even turning his head to address them. "And I just want you to know that...that I'm sorry."
.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My eyes flickered open and the moment I saw Billie I nearly screamed with excitement. He's here. This is all real. I felt like a child on Christmas, just wanting to wake him up to show him the greatest gift of all.
"Billie!" I cheer while shaking him. "Billie wake up! It's morning!" My smile seemed to overpower my emotions as a few tears of joy trickled down my cheek.
His large green eyes peeked open, and upon seeing me his lips turned up to a grin.
"Good morning, sweetheart."
"Billie! Billie..." my voice choked up a bit from happiness, but it was worth every ounce of it. "It's real. We're real. This is real. Everything is real."
"Come here you!" He giggles in pleasure, pulling me in for a hug and quick kiss on the forehead. "We did it, Lay! I don't know how or what we did, but we did it!"
We both sat up in bed and switched our attention to the hotel windows to get a glimpse of what we could finally guarantee was reality. It was the first night in what seemed like ever where I slept naturally and woke up at a normal time, 10 am. For once in my life, everything was going right.
"How about we order some breakfast to celebrate? And I promise by this afternoon, we can sign out of this shithole and go find your family!" Billie beamed.
"Sounds wonderful!"
Twenty Minutes Later
"How's your black coffee?" Billie mimicked.
"It's wonderful! Hey, I can't help the fact I was too lazy to open the fridge one day to get the milk and it resulted in a new fad."
Billie giggled at my response.
"You're fine, I'm just teasing you," he smiled while taking a sip of his.
"Hey Billie? I had a dream last night..."
He instantly stopped drinking his coffee and peered over at me. Slowly he released his cup and straightened himself out.
"You did? Of what?" He asked intently.
"It was of you, actually. Well, it was of you and me. I kept getting the impression that the dream I had last night, was a dream that you had recently in the past."
"What makes you say that?"
"It felt like a vision. I was in this different setting with..."
"With what? Oh my God...explain it for me."
"Well," I picked up my fork and played around with my scrambled eggs. "It was a world with muted colors and big old factory buildings. It was rather depressing to be honest."
"That's it!" He pointed out. "That's the place I would visit nearly every night in my dreams when I would see you!"
"That makes a lot of sense, because after walking around for a little while, I saw you and me having a conversation. It was the night that I gave you my phone number."
Billie looked down at his plate with a numbed expression.
"I remember that night. That's crazy, that you could see one of my past dreams."
"Yeah, it made me feel like our connection was finally completed. That after last night, we finally have access to every inch of our souls. It made me feel like everything was okay."
"If you liked that, then you're going to get a kick out of what I dreamed last night."
My eyebrows raised in excitement.
"I just wish it hadn't turned out the way it was."
"Why is that?" My engagement declined.
He lifted his head and looked me straight in the eye.
"Because if what I saw last night was a dream that you had, than I'm terrified of what I'm about to hear."
Billie had this presence about him that just made you want to cuddle up beside him and forget all your troubles and doubts. Hearing him say words like that scared me, because conversation starters like that never end well.
"I woke up into my dream in a world with inverted neon colors everywhere. It seriously felt like Alice in Wonderland type of shit. And of course, who best to star in it besides good old you and my better half?"
"Well, you definitely had a vision of one of my past dreams. So what are you scared to hear about?" I continued.
Billie smirked and shrugged his shoulders. He grabbed his breakfast burrito and took a few bites and followed it down with a couple of sips of coffee. Meanwhile all I could do was watch and wait for his next move. He finished it off with a smear of his napkin on his mouth and a solid clearing of the throat.
"What pills have you been taking?"
I groaned in annoyance and backed my chair away from our little table.
"Not this again," I muttered, standing up and walking towards the window to remind myself of better things.
"Layla," he calls dramatically. "Get back here!....Come on, please? I just want to talk to you."
"That's over now, Billie. Please, let's just spend our time together in peace. I don't want to argue with you."
"Who's arguing? I'm simply wondering! Imagine what it's like to wonder every night and day for weeks on how you are...to only be able to pray that you were okay. Then you have to go through this dream where you find out the one you've been praying for was taking pills for something, and apparently, whatever they were, they weren't okay with my better half. So please, just tie up loose ends for me. You would want to know if you were me."
I cocked my head to see Billie patiently waiting at the little breakfast table for my return. His huge puppy dog eyes were nearly impossible to resist, and he did have a point. I sighed in defeat and slowly made my way back.
"I'll tell you everything if you promise to tell me everything you went through. Is it a deal?" I extend my hand out for him to shake.
"You got it, babe!" He grinned.
Through the pain and the pleasure, I believe we truly made a wonderful team.