Rachel's POV
"I'm literally about to have a fangirl attack because of you two!" Jennifer squeals as she pulls me further into the familiar flat.
Jeez, I just get here and these two are already going to hound me?
"I'm so fucking happy! I knew it. I knew that living with Harry for a week would have things work out. Look at you, you're blushing! You are so smitten!" Hayley hops up and down, dragging my suitcase behind her.
Am I really blushing that much?
The two giggle at my expense as I feel my lips curling into a smile. I take a look around the small apartment, breathing in deeply at the sense of being home again. It's felt like forever since I've been here, though I've just been at the place I now consider to be a second home, Harry's home. We walk through the hallway and over to my bedroom, which I find exactly the way I left it. Hayley places the suitcase on my bed, before both turn to me.
"Okay, if we are going to help you pack, you know you have to give us details on what happened this week." Jennifer sasses.
Honestly, I expected nothing less from these two. Such predicable girls.
"Oh do I?" I tease, opening my closet door.
"Yes!" Both whine in unison.
As we sort out outfits for the next week, I start my story. First, I explain the details of my foot's condition, and I'm actually surprised at their concern for me. To trick the two, I beat around the bush and tell them the horrible experience at work with Lacey, which of course has their attention, but I can see it in their faces that this isn't what they want to hear.
I sigh before finally beginning with Harry's part, and they beg for more details, sensing I'm being quite vague with my description, and they'd be correct. I guess I can tell them more, after all they did promise me they'd stop with all their gossip when Harry and I began dating. I leave out the most intimate moments, but tell the two desperate girls about Harry and I's little routine. The way he and I ate together, the little cute messages, how he helped me do basically everything, like showering, which they took the wrong way. When he would come home early to be with me, and the nice, long chats we'd have before cuddling in each others' arms as we dozed off to sleep. When I finish, I look into the suitcase to only find a few things packed, and much time has passed. I'm about to tell my cousins this, when I face them, and they are staring at me in awe.
"Well fuck," Hayley exclaims, interrupting the silence. "And here I thought we were just taking you out for a night out, like every night Jen and I go. Who would have thought you'd get to meet the Harry Styles, then go off living the dream life?"
Jennifer quickly cuts in, "Um, I think what my...lovely sister is trying to say is, the two of us are so happy for you that you and Harry found each other. Look how much happier he's made you from the way you were before."
"Well it sounds a lot nicer when you put it that way," Hayley shrugs.
My cousins turn back around to my closet, and I open my mouth, my instinct wanting me to say the words I've been wanting to tell someone, but I quickly stop. Why was I about to tell them that? Why was I about to tell them that I think I'm in love with Harry?
I never imagined I would be feeling this way so quickly. Hell, I never thought I'd ever be able to feel like this again. I don't remember exactly when or how, but I just caught myself thinking the past few days at the times when Harry and I would say our goodnights, or when he went off to work, dropped me off to mine, or any time in between, I've wanted to slip in an "I love you". But of course you can't say that if you have no clue if the other person is feeling the same way. Harry and I haven't discussed anything like this, so I don't know how he feels. My feelings are actually scaring me.
Jacob and I's relationship seems so long ago, especially because so much has happened since. But in reality, it ended longer ago, when he first started going downhill. I don't think what we had was a love based relationship. I'm not sure even what it was, and I even feel sick when I realize that I actually did love him. I look back, seeing how rushed it really was, and I won't forgive myself for ever falling for that boy.
What Harry and I have, is distantly familiar territory, but it seems so terrifying. It's a new beginning, with someone totally different from the nightmare before, but I can't help the fear. All I can see ahead of me are red flashing lights, warning signs, and the loud ringing of alarms, wanting me to flee from the scene, but Harry's kind hands are guiding me further, and I've actually found myself able to say in my head that I love him.
I've heard that when you fall in love, like, true love, you'll just know. They say it'll hit you like a tidal wave, crashing over your heart, leaving scars. But I think that it's gradual, the way it is right now with Harry. It's like a gentle wave lapping and sucking at you, slowly pulling you out further and further, until you're far into the ocean, in way too deep, and it's such an alluring, yet anxious feeling at the same time.
I just can't believe I made it here. Harry broke down that part of the wall, the part that had me thinking I could never love someone wholeheartedly, or trust them with all I have again.
I'm quickly removed from my thoughts when I feel one of my shirts thrown at me, scaring the crap out of me.
"Rachel?!" Hayley rolls her eyes.
"What?"
"We aren't packing all for you. This is your shit, come on, yeah?"
"I'm sorry," I apologize, reaching over to grab an article of clothing when suddenly Jennifer stops me.
"Ah, ah, ah. You are distracted. Spit it out!"
Quickly I try to cover it, "I..I don't know--"
She interrupts me again, "Too late, Rach. I know how you are, we are like sisters. Say it or else we quit helping."
Dammit.
"I..I um.." I mumble before the two gesture for me to continue.
"I..."
"Oh for fucks sakes, love! Tells us what's on your mind!" Hayley yells impatiently.
"I think I'm in love with him!" I scream, not at all planning on shouting so loudly. I cover my mouth as both girls gasp.
"Ahhhh!" The two scream, dropping the clothes they have in their hands and rushing to me, embracing me in the tightest hug.
Jen yelps again before speaking, "We thought it would happen soon! I'm so proud of you! You did it, I knew Jared--or Jacob, whatever the hell that bloody irrelevant shit's name is didn't break you."
"When are you telling him?!" Hayley begs, hugging me the tightest she ever has.
"No..I'm not saying anything," I shake my head, my fear traveling in waves through my veins.
The two let go and take a step back, glaring at me with the same look: both pissed and disappointed.
"Oh come on, this isn't like we are children and you are too afraid to tell a boy you like him. We are grown adults here, and this is Harry fucking Styles!"
"I..we haven't discussed something like this yet. He probably will think it's too soon. I just don't want to say something, and ruin everything. I....I just want to wait." I explain, doubting I'm making any sense.
Jennifer crosses her arms, her features turning to more sympathetic ones. "How long have you been having these feelings for him?"
"Few days maybe. Ugh..two weeks is too soon. I know it. I can't say a thing yet, I just can't."
"Love works in the most mysterious ways," Hayley comments, shaking her head slightly while staring at the floor.
Hayley's words, "this is Harry fucking Styles" linger in my mind and make me realize something.
"And Hayley has a point. This is Harry Styles. Gosh when people find out I love him, they will want to kill me! I'm pretty sure people don't like me already because I'm with him, what will they think when I love him? I have so many people on my Instagram for example question me for who I am, and say awful things, so I went private. What am I going to do? I can't, I can't do this--"
"Rach!" Jennifer puts an end to my rambling. "Quit putting yourself down. Those fans have nothing to do with you and Harry. One of the other boys, Liam, has a girlfriend, and she's pretty private. People love her, so when they get to know you, they'll love you too. You have to tell Harry, these feelings are important."
"Yeah..but I just..."
Jen steps closer to me, taking my hand. "I want you to promise me something. If you really love him, you'll tell him. Even if it's not the right thing. Even if you're scared it will cause these problems. Even if you're scared it will burn you to the ground. You will say it, say it as loud as you did to us. And you can only go from there..."
I wrap my arms around her, pulling her in close.
"Thank you," I whisper, "I promise." Then I lift my head from her shoulder, and look over at Hayley. "Come here.."
Hayley joins the hug, and this is a moment I tell myself to remember, the time when I finally and truly feel I have sisters; people who genuinely care about my feelings.
After we let each other go and resume back to our packing, which shouldn't have taken this much time, I get an idea. "You know, I wanna do something for Harry."
"Like what?" I hear from Hayley.
"I don't know..maybe like make dinner for him? This whole week with him he's given me all my meals, making most of them, while the other few were take out. He's such a good cook.." I recall the numerous meals we had together, every time when I thanked God for letting me find a man who can cook. I'd like to do it for him, but the reason why I was so thankful for Harry's ability, is because I have no cooking experience.
"That's such a good idea! But you suck at cooking," Jen reminds me, when suddenly Hayley gasps.
"We can help you! Oh please?!"
As much as I want to say no, I will not deny that I seriously need help. The last thing I want to do is burn Harry's whole apartment building down.
With a simple nod, the two girls cheer and high five each other, and as we finish packing, we make plans to leave for the grocery store and buy our ingredients, then head over to Harry's and make something that hopefully is edible for him and I to have a lovely dinner together, which I had to kindly remind my cousins that they were not attending.
Time flies and the packing is completed, and now we are lugging my full suitcase to the girls car to go shop for groceries.
"This is going to be amazing.." Hayley smiles, sitting in the driver's seat.
I can only hope so. Now to think of something to cook for him...
The three of us consider plenty of options in the car as we drive the quick trip to the closest grocery store. The simplest thing we come up with is chicken and pasta with marinara sauce, something I think Harry would enjoy. I'm lucky enough Jen knows how to prepare chicken, and pasta seems easy enough...
At the store we take all that we think we need, even stuff I am pretty sure Harry has, but it's better to not take any chances. Afterwards we speed quickly to the house, knowing we have only a couple hours left until Harry comes back, and my cousins decide to make me look decent too, so we need to hurry.
All I am pondering, is that I feel like something...something is going to happen tonight, and I don't know if I should be worried or not.